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Very bad hallucinations on MDMA yet my friends are fine - Desperately need advice

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Morksters

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Jul 30, 2013
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Hey guys, I've searched around for a while and other than seeing the other threads stating that their MDMA should be tested beforehand etc I couldn't find anything that seemed applicable to my scenario:

I've rolled 3 times, the first was perfect, I wasn't rolling too hard but I had the best night of my life and had taken 0.4g (however, what is termed half a gram here is clearly not .5g of pure MDMA given people take it as a first time dose without memory loss or any serious or unexpected side effects, this is relevant later). I had no unwanted side effects during or after and the comedown was almost non-existent. My friend had the same dose and again the same results.

However, the next time I was in Amsterdam and we had taken .6g (very very stupidly not taking into account the differences in purity and the quantity for a second roll). I remember maybe one hour from a 6 hour period and some flashbacks, I had very bad hallucinations, seeing demons on people's faces, seeing an Ambulance on the dancefloor with bodies around it and then on the train journey home I thought everybody on our carriage had a plan to kill me and could hear them very clearly talking out loud etc about how to enact this plan. This was by far the scariest moment in my entire life, I genuinely feared for my life and I had no idea what was going on, my friend was trying to calm me down but I wouldn't listen as it all appeared vividly realistic to me, bear in mind I hadn't slept for 40 hours at the time of dropping and eventually got to sleep after 60 hours of being awake. (Yes very stupid indeed but due to plane times and unable to sleep in the hotel etc it happened). This was 6 months after the previous occasion. The comedown was horrific, I was incredibly emotional for over a week but it finally went.

Thirdly, it was the weekend just gone (Saturday) and me and 2 other friends had 0.5g (bear in mind what was stated earlier) each, everything was perfect and the roll was incredible. However, I started to hallucinate minor things on the comedown, such as the DJ in clothes he wasn't wearing and faces on other people etc but nothing was 'very bad' at the time so I left at this point in fear it would get worse. For around 10-15 minutes the walk back to our campsite was fine, except I was shaken and quiet. Inside the tent, I started to hallucinate that my friends had set me up for destroying other people's tents and killing somebody outside of our tent (seems so extreme but I didn't witness it only the scheming of hiding stuff and talking people outside etc) and I would sit there for 20-30 minutes whilst people were looking for their tents outside and I could hear them talking about me and looking for me etc when really they were just looking for their tents to sleep for the night. I finally managed to get to sleep and when I woke, I heard voices for 10 minutes before finally stepping outside and nobody was there and this is where it all stopped and I have been fine ever since. My friends never experienced the hallucinations or anything of the nature of what I am describing, they were both completely fine and still are and it makes me wonder why does it happen to me?

I now no longer want to roll because of the experiences, I understand it could come from many, many factors. Dosages, sleep, eating, drinking, purity, testing, medical conditions such as anxiety, depression or paranoia etc. I will be happy to assist you if you have any questions about any experience.

Sorry for the amount of text but it is the only way I can get my story across and hopefully seek some help, thank you for reading.
If this post in any way breaks the rules etc then please let me know.
 
You lost me at .4 & .5

.1 should be enough for a noob.

Maybe you are hallucinating because you are taking too much.

Welcome to bluelight, anyway.
 
I've seen people in different clothes they didnt wear, when I took 800mg in one night. It's when the comedown come and you have alot of MDA in you that will yield some vivid hallucinations, ive seen my girlfriends face turn into a pandas. Take less MDMA
 
testocyp said:
I've seen people in different clothes they didnt wear, when I took 800mg in one night. It's when the comedown come and you have alot of MDA in you that will yield some vivid hallucinations, ive seen my girlfriends face turn into a pandas. Take less MDMA
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The people I've been with (3 and 4 people on the two occasions), none of them have hallucinated at all on the two occasions despite taking as much as me
 
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OP, I can relate to your experience quite well.

I took .5g of "pure" MDMA after not having rolled for years and had a very unpleasant trip and very real, strange hallucinations. I will probably never use MDMA again but I have been lurking here to offer my advice to threads like these.

We took way too much, yeah, I get that, but I think other factors are at play also since not everyone experiences these negative hallucinations when taking too much. I was ~2 months clean from Suboxone (a long-acting opiate) when I had my bad MDMA experience. I was also dealing with a shit-load of anxiety at the time, some related to the Suboxone post acute withdrawal symptoms and some related to having a new job and rolling in a new place around a lot of people I barely knew.

I heard and saw a lot of shit that wasn't actually there. Unfortunately I also was pretty verbal to others about the thoughts in my head and I'm pretty sure everyone who saw me just assumed I was nuts. The people I was with were really chill and experienced users and I had no negativity towards them, but one thing I remember saying to them is, "You fag**ots shouldn't mess with this shit." I'm pretty sure I thought they dosed me with some other drug at the time and I got an awful bout of paranoia too. I also saw a group of people running outside in the middle of night at one point and thought others knew what I was thinking. It was terrible and caused me a lot of anxiety in the couple weeks afterwards, since I hate losing control of myself and blacking out.

Onto the good news. This happened about 2 months ago for me. The anxiety has nearly completely faded and it helped to apologize to my friend who I was with and explain to him that I took too much and that my head wasn't in the right place. He said it's all good and he understood. Anyways, I think I'm a stronger person for it now, and the long-term effects seem to have completely gone away. Take a long break and if you decide to try again, use a responsible dose. Hallucinating on MDMA just wasn't fun for me at all and it sounds like you would agree.
 
I remember dosing two capsules of MDMA at once when I was younger, which was twice what I was used to. Unfortunately these capsules had roughly 200 mg of MDMA each, resulting in a huge initial dose of 400 mg.
When I came up I was suddenly frozen with nausea, and upon throwing up experienced very defined visuals similar to a lava lamp, causing coloured bubbles and bursts in my vision. This scared me horribly and made me believe what I had eaten was not MDMA but instead some psychedelic. However after another 5 minutes or so I was only experiencing the typical MDMA effects, only stronger than I ever had before.
 
Thanks for your response, I figure this may be what is wrong with me, I never fully recovered from my last experience and always was a little paranoid or anxious, maybe if I give it time of a year or so I will be back to normal.

I guess time and being responsible and I'll be back to normal!

Thank you all :)
 
Morksters said:
Thanks for your response, I figure this may be what is wrong with me, I never fully recovered from my last experience and always was a little paranoid or anxious, maybe if I give it time of a year or so I will be back to normal.

I guess time and being responsible and I'll be back to normal!

Thank you all :)
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I hope it turns out well mate, next time you're going to try something, do a bit of research. Just a quick look at erowid dosages and stuff is better than nothing imo

I once took .3-.35 then remembered I had work the following day so had a great night then stupidly in fried brain mode, I got up after not much sleep, didn't call in sick and thought I was dead on the bus to work, I thought I was in a lucid dream because everything was tinted blue/grey and I had what can only be described as a sense of impending doom even though I already thought I was dead. Worst hangover ever after an amazing night- lesson learned. You took a lot more than me on less sleep than me, that experience sounds horrific but at least now you know.
 
You took too much MDMA. What your friends take doesn't translate at all into what you should take...
 
StrutterGear said:
You took too much MDMA. What your friends take doesn't translate at all into what you should take...
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Then why do I hallucinate very hard from .5 but nothing at all from .4?


StWd said:
I hope it turns out well mate, next time you're going to try something, do a bit of research. Just a quick look at erowid dosages and stuff is better than nothing imo

I once took .3-.35 then remembered I had work the following day so had a great night then stupidly in fried brain mode, I got up after not much sleep, didn't call in sick and thought I was dead on the bus to work, I thought I was in a lucid dream because everything was tinted blue/grey and I had what can only be described as a sense of impending doom even though I already thought I was dead. Worst hangover ever after an amazing night- lesson learned. You took a lot more than me on less sleep than me, that experience sounds horrific but at least now you know.
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Sounds bad :( Yeah I will be doing, I'm already well read up and know about it, I wouldn't jump in feet first but a lot to learn even at that :) Thanks!
 
Then why do I hallucinate very hard from .5 but nothing at all from .4?
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huh? because point 5 is more than point 4? dude the stuff you have must be weak as piss if you need half a gram to get high. like i said and im sure others can verify .2 should be more than enough.
 
The times you were hallucinating were with stuff from amsterdam right? There is your awnser. your usual stuff is probably crap
 
It sounds like you took too much mdma. it might not have been pure, but it sounds like it was just too much.. fortunately for me, I have never experienced visuals, but delusional thoughts, from high doses of mdma, and the thoughts are horrible and unpleasent, so maybe this can relate to your concern
 
You seem to be mostly confused by the fact that your friends did not hallucinate and that .4 did not cause you to hallucinate but 0.5 did.

a) Everyone's body is different, and can react differently to the same dose and the same amount. This is why doctors prescribe different doses for everyone- some people have higher protein levels in their blood (or more muscle) for drugs to bind to, some have a higher water/blood volume, and everyone has different levels of liver enzymes that break down the drugs and different numbers of serotonin receptors in their body. MDMA is classified as a hallucinogen and an amphetamine. High doses can result in hallucinations for some people, and it's totally possible that your body reacted more strongly than your friends' did.

b) Just because you bought the MDMA together and all took from the same batch does not necessarily mean you all got the same product. Your "batch" may have been mixed from a couple of batches (does that make sense? I mean if the dealer had half a gram of M left from one batch he got from somebody in June, then finished your order with some M he got from someone in July...different product). Yours could have contained amounts of MDA (MDMA'S more hallucinogenic cousin) or other drugs.

c) The difference between 0.4 and 0.5 is a lot. A normal dose is 0.1, so you basically took an extra dose compared to the time you had 0.4. Each consecutive dose piles up and up in your system, and one extra dose can make a HUGE difference. And again, you may have had a totally different product this time, with different concentrations of MDMA and other things.

d) As you stated, is is definitely possible that you have underlying medical conditions such as anxiety, or social insecurities.

Those are most likely the reasons. If you decide to roll again, of course I suggest everything everyone suggests on these forums: TEST YOUR SHIT (the initial investment may seem like a lot, as shipping for these items can be as much as the product, but consider the fact that the kits, depending where you buy from, can be used 10-50 times, meaning your test kit should last you at LEAST a year or a few years!). Seriously lower your dose, there are dosing stickies here! If you do decide to roll again, pleeease lower your dose. If you are still hallucinating after testing to ensure MDMA, and after lowering your dose, it's probably best to stay away from MDMA altogether :( The saddest option but it's not worth it if every time you have a bad time!
 
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