Forgive my ignorance, but when you are describing the ++++ state, it seems like the description you use is very similar to the descriptions that I have heard about ego death. Are ++++ and ego death one and the same?
I hear shulgin describe the ++++ state in a documentary once, he described as a state of utter bliss and control, which is interesting. what I've heard about ego death is that there is very little control involved, it's almost defined by the fact that there is a lack of control, no?
Like the term K-hole, it seems to me like the term '++++' itself has somewhat of an esoteric definition because we are talking about experiences that are for the most part ineffable.
Anyway when I describe a ++++ state I don't mean ego death nor ego inflation but rather a perfect integration of your ego and the spiritual aspect of yourself. This can cause various amazing things like feeling like you are doing and saying everything without hesitations or regret, but with your whole self. Maybe that is what Shulgin meant with control. The mind-warping thing to me remains that to gain this control, the only thing that will give it to you is letting go of the desire for it. Another thing is that I think it can be transforming. Exactly because every part of you is so aligned it is easier to weigh the most profound values of your life and your identity. Because you see it so clearly. And you are so very 'there' or 'present'.
When something like this happens, there is no question about it that it is special. Yet it feels like a native state, like this is how everyone is ultimately meant to be if they are no more and no less than themselves.
I feel like the description is extremely like that given of "non-abiding awakening". Which although beautiful (and also potentially destabilising when it ends), doesn't deserve the religulous sort of 'awe'. Now abiding awakening, that is quite rare I suppose. But non-abiding awakening is probably much more common than people realise.
On the other hand I sometimes doubt that it is as common as people sometimes mention semi-casually, especially when their report has all the hallmarks of the mystical.
Ego death on the other hand is mystical, control has also been given up but it has no more meaning because there isn't an identity "there" or "present" to convey it. To lose yourself so completely can result in far too many things to even begin to recount. But it is always easier to destroy something than to create something, isn't it?
Ego death is typically a sign of dissociating past the +++ mark for whatever reason. Let's just say weird stuff happens if you keep pushing. Which makes it relatively easy to approach, namely by intentional 'overdosing' on psychedelics or more responsibly by using meditation and sensory deprivation as more controllable catalysts. Overdosing is not controllable because you cannot take it back (apart from pharmaceutical intervention of course).
However ++++ is very confusingly said not to be a measure of intensity and this is key. It belongs on another scale, yet it the name suggests something else. This is probably the number one reason for the confusion.
I guess this is all very tricky because mysticism also has to do with communion with god. And people have such varying interpretations of god that it may apply all across the board. So where the term mystical applies is a hard chapter in semantics. But I just thought I'd go ahead and give you my version of it anyway.
I'd love to pick up some aya (never tried any sort of dmt, but I desperately want to), but I'm not sure where to find it in amsterdam, the smartshops dont sell it because it's illegal and I don't know many people here (just moved here a couple months ago).
So you dont have a problem with the vondelpark being public? I mean it's big enough and there's enough nooks and crannies that I could probably find a good place that is secluded and quiet, but I'm just terrified that someone will walk by and that will completely fuck with me.
A park like the Vondelpark can certainly be good for mushrooms, especially during the summer. But I would always prefer to go with friends among which at least one a fellow tripper. Having a buddy then is reassuring during the journey.
(My first mushroom trip was during the summer in a park.)
IMO being in nature - or even a park - allows for a lot of input, and the psychedelic effects turn that all into a sort of fairytale. But it can become too much, and sooner or later it is wise to vent some of that pent-up intensity and exhilaration. Being in private for a little while and having music would be good. I would watch out for an introverted retreat though: if you are not in time it can all be overwhelming and mess you up for a little while like you mention here:
I remember my mom came into my room once when I was tripping really hard on truffles, I managed to pull it together enough to give her a couple coherent words and present myself as sober, but it really messed up my trip, took me a while to get back into it.
:D
Which is a common and natural thing that many of us have experienced.
We have an expression in Dutch, that literally says: "to put things in a row". Figuratively speaking this means to review and put (yourself even) together again.
I mention this because a few times when something messed me up during a trip it helped me to tell myself to do this ^. And I visualised it literally: "first things first, where was I concretely?" This rational approach for me can vaporise irrational anxiety because it interrupts pointless chaos of thought and emotion that might otherwise ensue.
I haven't been getting along with my family and I just have been feeling pretty shitty, so I didn't want to take them. When I get back in 3 weeks, I'll take them. They're all sealed up in an airtight bag so I don't think they will go bad. In the meantime, in the next 3 weeks, I'm going to be in a house on a beautiful lake so I'll have a lot of time for spiritual reflection and gathering knowledge and such 
