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Are you sad because you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend? (Topic for all singles!)

Survival0200

Survival0200

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 27, 2005
Messages
3,563
Location
Lonely place in silence
Hi!

Sometimes when I see beautiful people outside, I remember how lonely I am, and how I'd want to be with someone.

I think I'm actually having an issue with having no girlfriend, while "everyone else" is having one. I could say I'm sad, because of this.

I've never had a girlfriend - it would be easier, if I would've had one at some point, but no ...

I just made this topic, to have some peer support, so I don't feel like I'm the only lonely and sad because of that!

So, how are you? Do you have an issue with being boyfriendless or girlfriendless?
 
Sometimes yeah. But I also know that I'm better off as single than I was in some previous relationships.

What is it exactly about relationships that you'd like to have? I find it can help to pinpoint the issues - for instance, for a while last year I was a bit obsessed with finding a boyfriend because I needed the boost in self-confidence and I thought I'd get it that way, and once I figured that out I was able to work on the real problem (the self-confidence thing) and realise maybe I don't need or want a boyfriend as much as I thought.
Doing things you love, especially if they're productive - exercising, giving your all at work/in class, making more time for your hobbies - really helps with learning to be happy on your own.

Honestly, it's cliché but you're most likely to find one when you're not looking - wanting a girlfriend/boyfriend does tend to make people seem a bit 'desperate' (well not necessarily that bad, but you get the idea) and people do pick up on that. If you learn to be happy on your own and to be confident in yourself, you're much more likely to find someone without even noticing!
 
yeah wait till you get into a relationship and see how you feel. I look at those single guys out there and i'm like fuck.... wish that were me, sometimes anyway. Depends on how confident the guy seems or how pathetic they seem lol.

if you're looking for a relationship you have to show confidence (better yet, have confidence), no one wants a desperate/needy/clingy person, at first you may find yourself becoming clingy, as soon as you notice that, stop immediately! Be the strong man who doesn't need a woman, and you'll likely find one.

People get lonely and sad in relationships as well, they are certainly not a cure for that. The cure as pagey mentions is increasing your self-confidence, self worth and self image. Once you get that under a control, you'll be hunted down by a woman because most men lack in these things. Shit i still do and i've been working on it for years.
 
I love being single. I'm a very independent woman. I'm 22, and never had a boyfriend. I've avoided it, and continue to avoid it. I have no desire to be in a relationship. Eventually, I want to have one-night-stands with as many guys as I can. But that's as far as I'll ever go. Only reason I don't fuck anyone right now is I realize I still have some maturing to do.
 
Everyone always used to think that I was so cool and whatnot bt I never had a boyfriend. Everyone just ASSUMED I had one and blah.. It's not a big deal.
 
I too fucked up for a relationship. every guy i have been starts out clean and ends up shooting speedballs and i want sobriety and health first, then someone healthy will come along when the time is right.
 
it would be nice to have a gf but I am too fucked to maintain anything like that unfortunately.
I need a big dose of iboga to fix me.
I remember for a few months after my last experience with iboga I got to experience what is was like to be mentally stable.
 
itsok said:
I too fucked up for a relationship. every guy i have been starts out clean and ends up shooting speedballs and i want sobriety and health first, then someone healthy will come along when the time is right.
Click to expand...

LOL I hear that. I am a bad influence. Not quite speedballs bad, but I feel ya!

I find single to be a lot less trouble than being paired up, too much work, drama, etc.
 
well,i definitely can relate. ive had relationships and flings throughout life, some i cant even remember, and even having had my fair share of women in my life, i regret the fact that i was never able to make a single relationship work. there were only two which i truly considered to be decent of my relationships...and frankly i sit here and wonder if i will ever find a person to spend my time with... its not that there is anything wrong with me or anything and i realize that now...i just haven't met the right person, and id far rather be good ol' promiscuous me than shack up with someone i end up hating or who betrays my trust. there are very few things i wont allow in a relationship, im more accepting than most people and i simply dont understand why my relationships fail. oh well...the only downfall of being single is the simple sense of loneliness. so i know your pain.
 
excellent post mate. i wholeheartedly agree...I carry a lot of these attributes, and women DO seem to flock, its mainly just a matter of finding the person who clicks now. and unfortunately im a fairly picky customer.good input for the lad though. @ robot ripping =D
 
Not at all.

I'm not in a place to waste time on possibly maybes.

Although, I still occasional fall into loving attachements a bit too easily. I just need to not settle for anyone that doesn't get me.

:)
 
Yes, however after 15 years of being single I don't know if I could handle being in a relationship again.
 
eh when im not in a relationship I always think it would be fun to have one. And when im in one there usually sub par, although ive never had a relationship without being on benzos or opiates, got 6 months without em now and everything has improved so hopefully the quality of relationships will too.

Its something I strive for but not something I let keep me from being content in my every day life.

When ever I do get down about it though, the song "with a little help from my friends" always does the trick.
 
I'm single, mostly by choice. I'd love to have that ideal relationship now that I'm feeling better about myself and my own life. I'd love to be able to focus what little additional energy I put into dating on another person and a happy life together. I'm certainly ready.

Yet I know that for the next few months I'll continue to be very busy with work and school, and that's where all of the energy is going. I'll either need to form a relationship with a guy who won't be resentful at my ambition or content myself with halfway. I know he's out there waiting for me just as I am waiting for him. Maybe he even feels like he's getting ready for me, too, even though we haven't met each other yet.

I'd rather have a bed to myself than an empty bed.
 
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