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How do You Guys Get Sex?

M

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
703
Location
Gainesville, Florida
I haven't had any since September 2008. I'm back in college now doing post-grad studies but there isn't a single girl interested in me. They act as though I'm invisible and won't even move out of the way when they see me walking towards them. I try small talk with girls but all I get is flat, monotone responses. How the hell do you guys manage to find a partner? I've only ever had 2 girlfriends -- one last 2 months, the other, 3 months. And this was yeeeeeeeeeears ago. How can I get a girl interested in me? I'm 6'2" and 210 lbs and fairly fit. Maybe I just have an extremely ugly face, although no one has called me ugly since the 8th grade.
 
Not to sound like a dick, but... it always just kind of came pretty naturally/easily for me. You just be yourself, be confident, and funny.

Being good looking obviously helps but... i know plenty of guys who aren't that get a lot of chics.

A lot of guys over think the hell out of picking up women.. like, coming up with clever pickup lines or stories.. if you see a pretty girl it's literally as simple as walking up to them and saying, "Hey". Then just talk to them, hah.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
Not to sound like a dick, but... it always just kind of came pretty naturally/easily for me. You just be yourself, be confident, and funny.

Being good looking obviously helps but... i know plenty of guys who aren't that get a lot of chics.

A lot of guys over think the hell out of picking up women.. like, coming up with clever pickup lines or stories.. if you see a pretty girl it's literally as simple as walking up to them and saying, "Hey". Then just talk to them, hah.
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That's what I've been doing on campus. If I see a cute girl by herself I'll say "hey". Then I'll ask her questions and she will respond in a monotone voice and often avoid eye contact. Happens with every girl :( It's a bad feeling knowing you're universally unwanted.

"Just be yourself..." I've been "myself" for the past 28 years and it hasn't landed me many girls. I'm not very funny, though. But I can be confident when talking to 1 girl face to face.
 
Michael_25 said:
That's what I've been doing on campus. If I see a cute girl by herself I'll say "hey". Then I'll ask her questions and she will respond in a monotone voice and often avoid eye contact. Happens with every girl :( It's a bad feeling knowing you're universally unwanted.

"Just be yourself..." I've been "myself" for the past 28 years and it hasn't landed me many girls. I'm not very funny, though. But I can be confident when talking to 1 girl face to face.
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Humm.. Maybe you've just had bad luck or are going after chics out of your league (no offense).
 
Michael_25 said:
I haven't had any since September 2008. I'm back in college now doing post-grad studies but there isn't a single girl interested in me. They act as though I'm invisible and won't even move out of the way when they see me walking towards them. I try small talk with girls but all I get is flat, monotone responses. How the hell do you guys manage to find a partner? I've only ever had 2 girlfriends -- one last 2 months, the other, 3 months. And this was yeeeeeeeeeears ago. How can I get a girl interested in me? I'm 6'2" and 210 lbs and fairly fit. Maybe I just have an extremely ugly face, although no one has called me ugly since the 8th grade.
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Even if you have some social inexperience working against you, you also have some leverage.
You are well off enough to be doing post-grad studies(possibly in a path toward a decent career?), and you are tall, and reasonably fit. This combo puts you at least in the top half of guys. Use your leverage. You are looking for a partner, and they are looking for a partner that is reasonably well off, and reasonably fit. You might find a sex partner on your first conversation you strike up, or it may take you 50 tries.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
So what do they do when you say hey and strike up a conversation? Do they just say hello and walk away? Or what? How does it fall apart?
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This is a typical scenario:
Me and a girl in class:

Me: Hey, how are you this morning?
Her: Good
Me: How did you go on your mid-term exam.
Her: Yeah, I passed it.
Me: Same here, but only just!
Her: *Silent*
Me: Did you get up to much on the weekend?
Her: No, not really.
Me: Yeah, I spent the entire weekend studying. So boring.
Her: *Silent*
Me: How are you finding this class, anyway?
Her: It's okay.

Conversation pretty much fizzles out after this. So you see what happens now.
 
Corazon said:
Even if you have some social inexperience working against you, you also have some leverage.
You are well off enough to be doing post-grad studies(possibly in a path toward a decent career?), and you are tall, and reasonably fit. This combo puts you at least in the top half of guys. Use your leverage. You are looking for a partner, and they are looking for a partner that is reasonably well off, and reasonably fit. You might find a sex partner on your first conversation you strike up, or it may take you 50 tries.
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Well, I've probably tried about a dozen times this semester without luck. It really does erode your self-esteem when it feels as though no one wants anything to do with you.
 
Alot of it is location and timing. I don't know if this is just me but I never did well in the classroom. There are many times in college where it's easy to get the ball rolling. None of these are gauranteed but there are no gaurantees at this sort of thing.

For instance when school first starts there are always long lines to the book store, the registration desk (where you change\drop classes), etc. There's no reason why you can't go through the book store line 5 different times and only get one book for each class. Of course you have to enter the line at the right time. Obviously standing next to a bunch of dudes is not going to give you time to strike up a conversation.

The library is not a bad place to meet girls but this can be very hit or miss. Same with the cafateria. As for how to start up the conversation its a skill that you have to practice. Also 12 times? You've got to go for numbers. Try to have a conversation with every girl in the school. Even the really ugly ones that you wouldn't sleep with. At some point your conversation skills and confidence will improve and you will definitely get somewhere. Getting shot down or having an ackward conversation isn't the end of the world. I would gladly have half the girls I meet think I'm weird\ackward if that's what it takes to meet somebody.
 
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Michael_25 said:
Well, I've probably tried about a dozen times this semester without luck. It really does erode your self-esteem when it feels as though no one wants anything to do with you.
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Your leverage is going to be less effective in your classroom, than with an undergrad or a local. Have to maybe mix in a compliment(no more than 1), and use some creativity to move to advance the intimacy beyond just classmates(add to each other's phone for assignments?). From there you have someone to invite on a date or worse yet a study date...
 
Michael_25 said:
This is a typical scenario:
Me and a girl in class:

Me: Hey, how are you this morning?
Her: Good
Me: How did you go on your mid-term exam.
Her: Yeah, I passed it.
Me: Same here, but only just!
Her: *Silent*
Me: Did you get up to much on the weekend?
Her: No, not really.
Me: Yeah, I spent the entire weekend studying. So boring.
Her: *Silent*
Me: How are you finding this class, anyway?
Her: It's okay.

Conversation pretty much fizzles out after this. So you see what happens now.
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You're styles way too vanilla and kinda goes nowhere. I've seen guys be really nice and respectful with that kind of banter like that and it doesn't work. You gotta walk up to her like it doesn't even matter and make fun of something stupid the prof. always says or be funny. I'd say it's all in how you carry yourself, and the confidence you exude. It's a cliché but it's true.

I'm a pretty good looking guy, I'm a bad-ass, and I carry myself like I don't give a fuck, which I don't! Don't be a phony, be confident with exactly who you are....which is easier said than done if you're feeling down on yourself! I know exactly how to do it, and I could probably show you the right attitude you need, but it's hard to explain in writing.

Edit: also, it sounds like you may just be lonely and actually want a girlfriend, which changes the way you should carry yourself a little bit....A surefire way to get a girl into a conversation with you is to get them talking about themselves....But you don't wanna let that go too far because then you get what the kids on BL call "friend zoned"(personally I get "fiend zoned" but that's different)....Once she starts rambling on about whatever, interrupt at some point and suggest you go get a drink...or just straight up ask her to go back to your place, not in a weird way but just casually to hang out....

If you look at it like you're just talking and hanging out with a girl you're attracted to, there's a lot better chance of actually getting some than if you're really just obviously going for getting laid....If you're dull, awkward and reserved, I guess you just gotta find a girl who's like that too!
 
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There's all sorts of material out there you can buy to master picking up women. I don't know how effective it is but I have heard good things. Google up mystery method, david de angelo, etc. for some examples. Who knows right? Maybe it's just an attitude tweak you need to supercharge your dating life!
 
Will you be open to escort services? I am not sure if you are looking for a girlfriend or just a one night stand/sex but maybe this is something to consider if you are just looking for sex?
 
One school of thought is that when guys are so desperate, it is obvious and not attractive. I have heard it as "the smell of desperation'. That same school says you need to get laid A LOT. How? The simplest method is escorts. Get enough sex so that you don't care if you are gonna score or not when you go on a date with a regular girl.

Seems plausible. It's just not cheap.
 
I'm not going to lie, when it comes to getting girls interested in you, being a dick works. Hah. You have to find that line between being flat out rude and charmingly blunt. Make fun of her in a playful way and most importantly, don't seem too nice or too desperate.

Act like you could take her or leave her, like you're just striking up a conversation because your bored.
 
I met my girlfriend on a dating site. We were extremly comfortable talking to each othr. So i had her over dinner for a night and we just kinda meshed together :-).
 
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