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Say something you can't say to their face

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I hate you when you sleep when we drink together. You need constant over-stimulation because you work a graveyard shift so when you're off it's like hardly any and you snooze off doing any desired activities (playing games, watching your shows, etc.) I value our drinking time together because we both have the night off and the next day but you just sleep on right through... it's so frustrating because it seems like you don't care. Maybe you're just bored of me. Who knows? I value our personal and quality time... I'm mad because you don't. You don't want to sleep because you know I'm going to get mad so you ask me for a line? Wow, if drugs is what it take for you to stay up past 11pm, no thank you. Err, but I get so mad and so stupid drunk.. I'm not going to tonight; instead, I shall blog about it on some random drug forum.. lol. But, man, it's so annoying!!!! How does a man who can work a 9pm-5am shift fall asleep BEFORE 11pm on his day off? Depraved of breaks, I suppose. I feel so irritated... I just want to pounce on him and give him a startling jolt. Lol. That would be funny, but, cruel and mean so I would not do that....
 
I was going to mold myself into the kind of person I thought you wanted. Thank GOD I came to my senses, because I now see that a relationship with you would have been a disaster.
 
You completely hoed me the fuck out last night and that wasn't cool. I've been nothing but nice and overly generous and you seem to not care leaving me hanging. I'm not going to lie, it hurts because I've loved you for so long yet getting nothing out of it is going to drive me insane and I refuse to let someone get the best of me ever again.

Maybe we can actually have a heart to heart talk tonight, because girl, it's overdue, you and I both know it. It can't hurt to try right?
 
Infatuation is a cheap dig and not even remotely close to being accurate.

You'll become a never has been sooner than you can imagine.

Time will tell. Your soul will fall further out of tune and away from God, that end point that is all.

Because we really are all one.

:)
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHvF2-TTtxE

I hate you bitch!
I never thought I'd say it :(

Too many years, I paid the price.
Why do you gotta put all this drama in my life?
Day after day, I'm on the grind for you
Leave you lavish, drape you in karats, is what I'm trying to do

But I'm, just a man
Trying to do all I can, but you act like you can't understand.

I done sacrificed, and I done swallowed my pride
On the wrong road, trying to follow my pride.
I was daddy for a while, though I've got no seed
But the kids, are my H-E-A-R-T
I've been dealing with a lot, so I've been losing my mind
Straight up acting before I think barely using my mind
My freedom is on the line, and my sanity's gone

You picked a fine time to leave me, now this house ain't a home
I had no problem being faithful, I loved you so much I hate you
Because you left me, when I needed you the most
So now a bitch, is how I rate you!
My female friends, making you wonder.
Guilt got you feeling suspicious, from when you was creeping on me
On the under, but even still I held my head.

I apologize, I wish I can turn back the hands of time

Although I'm happy, I never pictured you not at all in my life

Solo that's how I kick it, the rest of my days
But I wanna thank you for making possible, some of the best of my days
I've dried my eyes, now and all I can see is the greed
 
severely etarded said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHvF2-TTtxE

I hate you bitch!
I never thought I'd say it :(

Too many years, I paid the price.
Why do you gotta put all this drama in my life?
Day after day, I'm on the grind for you
Leave you lavish, drape you in karats, is what I'm trying to do

But I'm, just a man
Trying to do all I can, but you act like you can't understand.

I done sacrificed, and I done swallowed my pride
On the wrong road, trying to follow my pride.
I was daddy for a while, though I've got no seed
But the kids, are my H-E-A-R-T
I've been dealing with a lot, so I've been losing my mind
Straight up acting before I think barely using my mind
My freedom is on the line, and my sanity's gone

You picked a fine time to leave me, now this house ain't a home
I had no problem being faithful, I loved you so much I hate you
Because you left me, when I needed you the most
So now a bitch, is how I rate you!
My female friends, making you wonder.
Guilt got you feeling suspicious, from when you was creeping on me
On the under, but even still I held my head.

I apologize, I wish I can turn back the hands of time

Although I'm happy, I never pictured you not at all in my life

Solo that's how I kick it, the rest of my days
But I wanna thank you for making possible, some of the best of my days
I've dried my eyes, now and all I can see is the greed
Click to expand...

Word!!
 
Did the years of pretending to my friends that I had a weak stomach so that they wouldn't realise it was you throwing up your dinner mean nothing? Seriously, my housemate thinks I vomit 4 times a day. I haven't vomited in years. Or how my parents thought I was an alcoholic because they kept finding the vodka bottles you'd stash in the bathroom after sculling them, and I would take responsibility. All the times I sat and talked to your psychopath homophobic dad for hours on end agreeing with his bigoted world view just so that you could get some alone time. How I made the 6 hour round trip from my house to your rehab and back twice a week just to give you a hug? I barely speak to my grandma anymore since she disliked you and I took your side.

I was saving what little money I had to fix my car with, and I ended up spending it all on that trip north that I didn't want to take, and was just uncomfortable the whole time but never let you see it. I smiled and said I was having a great time the entire experience. I was bored out of my mind and seriously that place is too fucking hot. My car is still fucking broken. The long songs I poured my heart into that other girls would melt over and you barely noticed. When I picked you up from the city at 3am drunk, many times, and the whole trip made me sick to my stomach but I wouldn't let it show because I didn't want to bring you down. Every time you laughed, cried, thought positive or broke down, I was fucking there. My parents paid for half your shit because I couldn't afford to. Every psyche, doctor or rehab you've been to told you that I was one in a million for sticking around. I would have always stuck around.

You are the most beautiful, wonderful, kind, caring and special soul I have ever met. You're also the most childish, selfish, aloof and irresponsible person i've ever met. I feel used, abused and thrown away. You made so many friends in rehab that you have the energy to help through their shit, but you don't have the energy to even begin to work on our relationship. I might not be perfect, but I gave you the best I fucking had, I gave you everything. For 5 years I put you first every single time. To think i'll never get to hold you, talk to you, make you smile or make love to you again breaks every ounce of my heart.

I hope you get better, I hope you have a wonderful life. Good luck finding another guy that will put up with your shit and still love you unconditionally. I always will.
 
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