Need advice on how to deal with a fucked-up, violent, psychopathic father

[amnesiaseizure]

I didn't mean it like that. I know ultimately I'm the one who chooses but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a part of responsibility in fucking me up to the point that I feel that's the only option to deal with it. I honestly don't care if that's immature or childish. I've always been the mature one in my relationship with him and honestly, considering everything I'm going to blame him for whatever the hell I want. He's never had any trouble blaming me for embarrassing and humiliating him when I've done everything I could to get him to be proud of me. Or blaming me for currently having a black eye from where he hit me last week because apparently, that's my fault, as well as the permanent scar and marks on my side from being chucked against a glass pane a few years ago. So I'm not going to have any trouble blaming him for making me feel like drugs are the only way out.

You have to be so so careful Pagey as this is exactly how you will slowly turn into him and continue his legacy of abuse. You're a philosophy student so i guess i don't have to tell you what Nietsche(sp?) said about the abyss.....

 

[Pagey]

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Good luck Pagey

Point well understood. Thank you though

You have to be so so careful Pagey as this is exactly how you will slowly turn into him and continue his legacy of abuse. You're a philosophy student so i guess i don't have to tell you what Nietsche(sp?) said about the abyss.....

How d'you mean? I mean I understand how you could theoretically imagine that but how do you get that from my posts? So far it's really just made me the opposite of him since I've become insanely good at shying away from any kind of confrontation with anyone else.
I've indeed read Nietzsche's work on that. Don't worry, I'm very well aware of it and it's certainly somethng I've thought about a lot, which'll hopefully help me continue as I am now and stay the exact opposite of him.