Oral code of ethics

[Lost Ego]

If your partner refused to ever give you head would you still eat her out (or vice versa?)? If so, what does that say about you? I'm thinking about still eating my girl out even though she doesn't do blowjobs. I honestly don't mind eating pussy and i like giving her please but i don't wanna continue if it'll affect her opinion of me for the worse...

 

[Maya]

I think that it should be a give and take.. Have you asked her why she doesnt want to give you a head?

 

[Pagey]

Myeah no I wouldn't give a guy head if he weren't willing to return the favour, especially in a relationship. And I say that even though I like doing it. Sex shouldn't be selfish and the efforts should be made on both sides. Why doesn't she want to?

 

[Lost Ego]

I'm not sure lol. Idk, i didn't ask. I could take a couple guesses - it could be that it makes her gag or maybe she has had bad experiences with it. it's no big deal to me. i just like giving pleasure, that's how i primarily prefer to show my affection. <- and i don't mean oral, specifically, but any bodily pleasures in general. whatever happened to unconditional love? out of my own naivety - what's wrong with just giving for it's intrinsic value? it just simply makes me feel good when i make her feel good.

I'm not gonna ask her, i'll let her be.

 

[rangrz]

I'd do it. Why the hell not? If you *like* doing it and she likes getting it, then do it! You'll have fun, she'll have fun, everyone wins.

If she dislikes giving head, then she won't have fun doing it to you and it will just make her feel shitty and she won't be enthusiastic about it so it won't be very good. It will also probably make her less inclined towards sex in general, if she's expected to do an activity she dislikes during sex, she won't want to do it at all.

It's like if you like driving and she finds it stressful/un-enjoyable, would you stop driving places with her just out of spite? Or would you just do it and have fun doing it cause you like driving anyways?

 

[Lost Ego]

Either way i prefer plain old intercourse anyways so i'm not complaining. I'll continue and see if i can't gently ease her towards a blowjob sometime.

and for the thought experiment: i'd always drive safe with my precious cargo riding with me. I'd save my joy riding for my 45 min drive home - alone

 

[Pagey]

I'm not sure lol. Idk, i didn't ask. I could take a couple guesses - it could be that it makes her gag or maybe she has had bad experiences with it. it's no big deal to me. i just like giving pleasure, that's how i primarily prefer to show my affection. <- and i don't mean oral, specifically, but any bodily pleasures in general. whatever happened to unconditional love? out of my own naivety - what's wrong with just giving for it's intrinsic value? it just simply makes me feel good when i make her feel good.

I'm not gonna ask her, i'll let her be.

Nothing wrong with it, it's just I do think there should be some sort of uh, return of favours or whatever you wanna call it. Not that I think sex is about favours, but you get what I mean. I love giving BJs but if I were in a relationship where I wasn't getting any oral sex I would feel like it was a bit unbalanced/would feel a little used tbh. Obviously if you're happy with it this way then fine, but I don't think there would be any harm in nicely asking her why she doesn't do it

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

I would probably not go out with someone who didn't give head because it is likely to signify someone whose sexual expectations/desires/activities were incompatible with what I want from a partner (i.e. I'm a freak and if someone doesn't even want to give head they're probably not going to be down with it when I start playing with their bum/spanking them etc and asking them to do the same to me). I love giving head though, really turns me on.

 

[We are all ONE]

lol

 

[rangrz]

I would probably not go out with someone who didn't give head because it is likely to signify someone whose sexual expectations/desires/activities were incompatible with what I want from a partner (i.e. I'm a freak and if someone doesn't even want to give head they're probably not going to be down with it when I start playing with their bum/spanking them etc and asking them to do the same to me). I love giving head though, really turns me on.

lol... I dunno. Most of the girls I've been with have not been overly into giving head. But they all liked/like a variety of fetishes, BDSM, anal, threesomes, etc.

I think your heuristic is flawed.

 

[34-dihydroxyphen]

Nothing wrong with it, it's just I do think there should be some sort of uh, return of favours or whatever you wanna call it. Not that I think sex is about favours, but you get what I mean. I love giving BJs but if I were in a relationship where I wasn't getting any oral sex I would feel like it was a bit unbalanced/would feel a little used tbh. Obviously if you're happy with it this way then fine, but I don't think there would be any harm in nicely asking her why she doesn't do it

There are other sexual favors that can be performed that can more than make up for this, however.


I mean, if I wanted to go down on a girl, but she wanted to do nothing for me, I would not be happy. But if she doesn't want to give head because she doesn't like it in general, but is willing to do something else that would be considered special to make up for it, I would be cool. I don't even like blowjobs that much, anyways. A masterful handjob with copious lube feels much better.

Still, a woman who doesn't give blowjobs or a man who doesn't go down has to work that much harder to make up for the fact that they do not participate in this activity.

I just don't think oral pleasure necessarily has to be reciprocated by oral pleasure. But attention must be reciprocated by attention.

 

[Lysis]

lol

lol I was purposely avoiding this thread because of you. Ass. lol

FTR, I'm with rangrz, and I don't know how anyone can equate unconditional love with a blowjob. Sheesh.

 

[Pagey]

There are other sexual favors that can be performed that can more than make up for this, however.


I mean, if I wanted to go down on a girl, but she wanted to do nothing for me, I would not be happy. But if she doesn't want to give head because she doesn't like it in general, but is willing to do something else that would be considered special to make up for it, I would be cool. I don't even like blowjobs that much, anyways. A masterful handjob with copious lube feels much better.

Still, a woman who doesn't give blowjobs or a man who doesn't go down has to work that much harder to make up for the fact that they do not participate in this activity.

I just don't think oral pleasure necessarily has to be reciprocated by oral pleasure. But attention must be reciprocated by attention.

Oh yeah no I agree with all of that. My point was more that I don't think one person should be doing more 'work' than the other. It sounds like I'm only talking about sex as a favour no matter how I phrase it, but hopefully everyone gets the point.

 

[rangrz]

^

Pretty much. I don't get why so many guys are hung up on blowjobs. Like seriously, there's a lot of things you can do in bed, the absence of one in particular is not the end of the world.

 

[llama112]

I love it when my boyfriend goes down on me. I like it more than sex. If I had to give that up in a relationship, ahh, I may have to think again about it. It would suck to give up my favourite part of sex. If he wasn't able to do that, it may be that we are incompatible sexually, which is not good for a relationship. I don't want to come off as being selfish but I don't think that'd work for me.

 

[Lysis]

I think I'm weird but I like the actual sex. It feels closer to me. I like skin on skin and just feeling close. I don't like anything where you feel "separated." I don't like 69 either, because I too (like rangrz said) feel distracted and there's no closeness. I like anything where you totally feel your partner or you can play in a fun way....like jumping on the bed naked. ha!

Waao is probably my most compatible sexual partner I've had.

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

I like going down on girls so even if my partner refused to go down on me it wouldn't change anything. I would, however, ask her outright why because I'd want to know if it's just me or a thing she has with all guys.

 

[rangrz]

^

I like it all, but for e.g. I prefer giving oral with either her on back (knees up, or grabbing my head with her thighs) or with her straddling me, cause I can watch her reactions and pet her and stuff like that.

I dunno, maybe I'm weird, but getting a nut is not as much of a priority for me as being really intimate and close to my partner. If I wanted a nut that badly, I'd fap.

 

[scrateyams]

My BF refuses to give me head, so i dont give him head either. He says "i just dont like doing that" well you know what?!?! i dont like giving you head either!!!

 

[Lost Ego]

Nothing wrong with it, it's just I do think there should be some sort of uh, return of favours or whatever you wanna call it.

I love giving BJs but if I were in a relationship where I wasn't getting any oral sex I would feel like it was a bit unbalanced/would feel a little used tbh

this is essentially the dilemma. i like going down on girls, i love making them squirm under the power of my tongue. however if this continues i'm afraid it'll start feeling unbalanced/unfair. I'll talk to her about it before it gets to that point though. we just met like 3 days ago and we can already be straight up with each other. it

FTR, I'm with rangrz, and I don't know how anyone can equate unconditional love with a blowjob. Sheesh.

i meant like unconditional giving/showing-love to your partner lol. does that make more sense?

I dunno, maybe I'm weird, but getting a nut is not as much of a priority for me as being really intimate and close to my partner. If I wanted a nut that badly, I'd fap.

agreed. having a girl that can deep throat is a treat but it's not a requirement for me. hell i've never even came from a blowjob before, it's not something i need daily - definitely more of a treat, a snack, but not the main course.


*** Do you guys suppose it's too soon to be falling lol?