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Reaching out to my BL friends

I don't know FBC personally, but for anyone who has dealt with mental illness in friends or family - his opening lines are highly suggestive of an underlying psychological issue that goes far beyond MDMA or harm reduction. The long, rambling posts and the pleas to comfort grieving family members in the face of impending death are part and parcel of mental imbalance - and they have been effective in gathering a certain captive audience on Bluelight. The message and the following, as well meaning as they are, do not serve the interests of Bluelight or harm reduction in general.
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This was the quote you said you agreed with. This suggests opening lines, long and rambling posts illustrate a mental imbalance and do not serve the interets of bluelight or harm reduction. By agreeing with this statement you effectively belittle his posts on the basis he has a mental health disorder and the information he shares couldnt possibley be of use to Bluelight.

What I am saying is most long term sufferers do have some type of mental health disorder of course yet the experiences and information they share is very much in the interest of harm reduction.

I take on board these forums do need posts that are good, bad, indifferent, positive and negetive, but I hope everyone can keep things in perspective.
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I dont think things are in anyway out of perspective. Someone has reported their negative experience with MDMA users have the option to either read about it or discard it.

Statistically MDMA is a very safe drug.
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I disagree MDMA is Neurotoxic. Used in moderation it has reduced risks. MDMA used irresponsibley can be very dangerous.

Hence the constant warnings on here to keep doses down and cut down on redoses.
 
I am recovering from a single high dose of mdma I took three months ago. Anxiety, head pressure, sleep problems, etc.

Honestly, whenever I read FBC's posts they scare the shit out of me: i.e. Brain re-wiring, STROKES (wtf?), etc. Now that FBC is still dealing with problems over two years later, that's even scarier. Is it mdma, or underlying anxiety issues?

When I read others' posts that simply say "stay positive, I got better, so will you" it's much more healing and positive for me. Maybe I don't need all the scientific 'hooplah'. Perhaps ignorance is bliss in this time of healing.
 
critically analyse and decide for yourself. people have agendas, unfortunately. i think i read you say you have already seen some improvement, well this is a good thing, im sure you will be 100% in no time. continue to look after yourself.
 
I am recovering from a single high dose of mdma I took three months ago. Anxiety, head pressure, sleep problems, etc.

Honestly, whenever I read FBC's posts they scare the shit out of me: i.e. Brain re-wiring, STROKES (wtf?), etc. Now that FBC is still dealing with problems over two years later, that's even scarier. Is it mdma, or underlying anxiety issues?

When I read others' posts that simply say "stay positive, I got better, so will you" it's much more healing and positive for me. Maybe I don't need all the scientific 'hooplah'. Perhaps ignorance is bliss in this time of healing.
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Harry have a look at some of FBCs other posts not in this thread you might find them more positive and useful to aid your recovery.

What sort of dose of MDMA did you take? Whats your lifetime intake?
 
I used mdma three times. First two times, barely felt it. Took like 100mg or less those times.

The third and final time I took somewhere between 200mg-250mg, maybe less. I was in a bad setting, fighting a cold and very stressed out to begin with. The come-up freaked me out and I had 5 intense panic attacks as I tripped. Afterwards I felt much better. Three days later I came down with flu symptoms which snowballed into panic attacks, ER visits and fear of dying. The next month I dealt with constant panic, anxiety, depression, bad sleep, head aches, body temp issues, etc.

Fast forward three months. Through exercise, therapy, meditation, yoga and superfood nutrition, the depression is gone, the anxiety has lessened. Panic attacks are sparse and controlled when they happen. My sleep is slowly improving. I just still have this head pressure. Like cotton or silly putty between my eyes, and I sometimes feel hot temp wise. I don't know if this is typical or a bad sign or not. I do know I am improving but get scared I am going to hit a point where I stop improving. Any thoughts?
 
I have had friends on here that have reported head pressure and they eventually pass

I would say by all accounts good signs you have made great improvement and your history is very sparse.

I cannot see any reason why all the symptoms you describe will be a thing of the passed in time.

For me things are a little different I have 500+ history of doses and have abused MDMA in terms of multiple days taking redose not testing you name it I have done it over a period of 18 years of taking. I wish I heard of BL a few years before this drama.
 
It's crazy you have had such a bad experience from such a minute amount. That really sucks dude and I'm sorry to hear. Why do you think you have had so many problems? Are there mental health issues that run in your family, or have you had such negative issues with other substances? Hope you are feeling well soonest.
 
No real mental health issues. Maybe I have always been a little anxious, but not much more than your typical busy 20-something. Truth is I've never had a good trip in my life. I always manage to release Pandora's box.

I kind of lost it when I took shrooms once. And I did salvia twice, both times I had anxiety attacks. I am just not built for tripping, I accept it lol. It think it is a control issue and I can't bear the fact that I am disassociated with reality. For comparison, I fair much better with the occasional coke or alcohol.

The thing is mdma was a whole other animal. It's like the bad trip that didn't go away. Days, then weeks, then months. Scary as hell. I'm really thankful I am coming out of it.. And I'm hoping all my hard work pays off and a better person emerges when the dust settles. Thanks for your help guys.
 
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I think it has to do with how much you took as well.. I swallowed 6 pills on my last session for Christ's sake lols
 
Harrythehead, totally hear you man. Psychedelics just aren't for some people. I had a bad experience with shrooms as well and should have known to stay away then. But being stubborn kept messing around til I got this bad comedown from mdxx. It is good to learn never to touch this stuff again. Just wish this ordeal would be finished.
 
xxxyakinikuxxx said:
Harrythehead, totally hear you man. Psychedelics just aren't for some people. I had a bad experience with shrooms as well and should have known to stay away then. But being stubborn kept messing around til I got this bad comedown from mdxx. It is good to learn never to touch this stuff again. Just wish this ordeal would be finished.
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How bad did you abuse, what were your symptoms, and how are you doing now?
 
HarrytheHead said:
How bad did you abuse, what were your symptoms, and how are you doing now?
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Last year I did e about 3 times in April/May; only did a whole pill one of those times. What gave me the comedown was one stupid binge at the end of September last year. I took four pills over a weekend. Not realizing that e is different from other stuff, I was mostly worried about getting a bunk pill. Once the pills turned out ok, I thought I was in the clear. Didn't realize that redosing/doing it multiple days was so dangerous until I started reading FBCs posts on BL. I also naively assumed my friends knew what they were doing so I followed their lead.

Really wish there was better drug education in the world, instead of this zero tolerance policy. If we actually admitted as a society that people are gonna experiment with drugs and informed them of the real dangers/risks connected to specific drugs, rather than 'just say no' maybe people would make more educated decisions with what they put in their bodies. But I'm getting off track.

As for symptoms what haven't I had? is probably a better question. The things bothering me most now is my lack of emotional response to the outside world, lethargy, and general lack of motivation to do things. All my really acute symptoms cleared up in the first few months. Just gotta keep trying to kick these last ones.
 
For me the only symptom I have is this weird sensation in my head like the blood is moving around.. It feels as if the brain is re-organizing itself.. It only makes me feel anxious when I feel the sensation as if I am falling off a cliff.. Not a pleasant feeling but I would assume that it's my brain re-wiring. I don't have any other symptoms.. No depression, dp/dr, brain fog, memory loss, panic attacks, visual snow etc so I would take this as a good sign.. :)
 
Really wish there was better drug education in the world, instead of this zero tolerance policy. If we actually admitted as a society that people are gonna experiment with drugs and informed them of the real dangers/risks connected to specific drugs, rather than 'just say no' maybe people would make more educated decisions with what they put in their bodies. But I'm getting off track.
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Couldnt agree more

As for symptoms what haven't I had? is probably a better question. The things bothering me most now is my lack of emotional response to the outside world, lethargy, and general lack of motivation to do things. All my really acute symptoms cleared up in the first few months. Just gotta keep trying to kick these last ones.
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I have this symptom its a total bitch. I just feel like my mind is blank and I cant move. Spend most of my day lieing in bed totally unmotivated to do anything its not nice.

Btw, First Bad any updates?
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I doubt well hear anything from FBC for a while he usually pops in every couple of months or so.
 
FBC said:
The next day I nearly died.
Sudden severe chest pain, tachycardia, and the most severe abdominal pain I have ever experienced.
Below my stomach it felt like I had swallowed a bag of rocks!
I wondered, "is this what hepatoxicity from MDMA feels like?"

The anxiety was unreal.
I couldn't speak much - all I did was pace around in my living room like a caged animal.
My head started to feel like a balloon that was inflating beyond control!
A terrible migraine followed, as well as the dreaded fever.
My knowledge on MDMA was just good enough to recognize that anxiety + fever is seen in the acute cases and can lead to death.
I immediately began cooling myself off and trying to calm down.

My intestines were still in severe pain, and until I managed to go to the bathroom I didn't think I would survive it.
But somehow I pulled through!
I survived the most frightening night of my entire life, all without going to an ER.
I wish I had gone immediately, but my lack of understanding and inability to speak or communicate made others confused about what was going on.
After all, it had been three days since my last dose of MDMA...
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I'm just curious why you never mentioned the enema that you did while rolling, almost certainly had to have some sort of effect on what I bolded...
 
I'm wondering does anyone has this "eye floaters" from MDMA abuse? I noticed this increase when I forgot to hydrate myself correctly (I was cracked out on a high dose and only cared about hydrating my girl instead of myself... thanks to the MDMA emphaty). They do seem to fade away after some days. But damn, it's disturbing to see worm shaped floaters in your vision, and no wonder where you move your eyes, they follow and move around.

Maybe there's a correlation between MDMA toxicity and eye floaters? Or maybe it's just placebo and it comes naturally with age.
 
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