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Jealous Girlfriend

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KavemanCam

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 21, 2013
Messages
144
Location
San Pedro, Cactus
Hello. I've been on again off again with the same girl since the 5th grade. I am now 21 years old. My girlfriend and I generally always get along until she is either really drunk or on benzos. She starts arguments about girls that I text that I've been friends with just as long as her. When I invite them over I have to be sure that they are accompanied by their boyfriends... She still Will start arguments and say that she thinks I like these girls... So I recently deleted every girl in my phone aside from my mom. She now has most recently been getting upset because I am going to the marines (it was either that or 18 months of probation and a felony). It's not just that she won't see me. She says she can stay loyal and she knows I can too but she always hits me with the "I'm not good enough for you" and it breaks my heart because she is my everything. I love her more than life itself, and we keep getting into arguments because she believes I'm going to leave her for "someone better", I'm sorry ladies, but I don't believe there is someone better. Her personality, her smile, her scent, her eyes, her voice, her hair, her legs.... Fuck everything about her turns me on. And we have the most passionate love making I've ever had. I don't ever want to lose her and I don't know what to do to ease her mind. I constantly remind her why I'm still with her and I never get sick of it but she just argues that I'm wrong and crazy and it makes me so pissed... Are there any suggestions? Please dont say leave her, that's not an option.
 
That sounds like a tough situation. This may sound dumb but the best thing to do might be to have a nice, big fight with her. Just sit her down and explain that you are NOT going to cheat on her, that you are NOT interested in other girls and that you are NOT going to leave her for anyone else, or whatever she's paranoid about. And that the fact that she thinks you will is just pushing you away and making the relationship that much more difficult.
I'm sure you've told her all those things but I have to say sometimes just getting mad and making it abundantly clear that way helps more, if she's not convinced when you explain it calmly. :\
 
Tude said:
She sounds needy.

Run. Run away, fast!
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She is in no way needy and in fact spoils me things all the time. I've been told by multiple people that she may be cheating, but I refuse to believe this. I feel she just has low self esteem and insecurities that i can't comprehend. I love her beyond words and I Will never run, I'll do whatever it takes to fight for her! This post was quite offensive.
 
I would also like to point out that I am a psychonaut and she recently told me she won't come around any more if I'm going to be tripping. She has never tripped before and doesn't want to. She's basically limited my use to dmt mainly because its such short acting and puts me in such a great mood.
 
This just seems like a really bad relationship. She's needy, clingy, possessive, codependent, jealous, etc. You can't have someone telling you what to do.

You're 21. You've been dating her since grade 5 so that's when you were, what, 8 years old? I'm thinking about how much I changed from 8 years old to 21 years old. I was NOT the same person. Nor do I hang out with the same people. Interests change. People change. You need to get over her and move on with your life.
 
We just got off a 2 year break where she had been dating one of my least favorite people.... Just to make me mad. She still texted me throughout the whole experience and the day he left, we were back together again. He left her because she has a pill problem. And I'm not one to judge based on what people do but by who they are. Maybe I am just wasting my time, but I'm deep into love. She isn't making quit psychedelix, she just won't be around me while I'm tripping because I seem "crazy"....
 
KavemanCam said:
She is in no way needy and in fact spoils me things all the time. I've been told by multiple people that she may be cheating, but I refuse to believe this. I feel she just has low self esteem and insecurities that i can't comprehend. I love her beyond words and I Will never run, I'll do whatever it takes to fight for her! This post was quite offensive.
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The very definition of "needy" is "having low self-esteem/being insecure." I'm glad I offended you...
 
Sit her down talk to her and let her know what about the relationship isn't working for you. Give her the chance to do the same. Actually, I know this sounds corny but you both might want to write it down for each other. After you've both communicated what's wrong then make a plan to both change. Going to the marines will give the both of you the space and time to work on yourselves. Just remember that communication in a relationship is one of the most important elements. Good luck.
 
KavemanCam said:
We just got off a 2 year break where she had been dating one of my least favorite people.... Just to make me mad. She still texted me throughout the whole experience and the day he left, we were back together again. He left her because she has a pill problem. And I'm not one to judge based on what people do but by who they are. Maybe I am just wasting my time, but I'm deep into love. She isn't making quit psychedelix, she just won't be around me while I'm tripping because I seem "crazy"....
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:\ I'm sorry but after this post in particular it does sound like you might be better off without her...did you see anyone else during that time/have you ever been with anyone else? I get it must be impossible to imagine life without her if you've been dating for so long (albeit on and off), but sometimes it's worth discovering. That's the thing...you don't really have a point of reference, which isn't necessarily a good thing.
 
what a fucked situation.

why would multiple people say she was cheating for no reason?? and maybe she does cheat and thats why shes so worried that youre going to cheat on her, because while you wont do it, in her mind thats something that could happen since she does it.

also why did you delete all the girls from your phone. dont encourage dumb behavior.
 
The Marines are going to be a new and exciting experience for you. You don't need to be making promises about your life when you are 21. I'm 49 y/o and I can't even remember the name of the girls I dated when I was your age. BTW the girl is very needy!! Please think about yourself during this time in your life. Make a clean break with her now and enjoy you time in the service make new friends and experience new things. Best of luck.
 
Pagey said:
:\ I'm sorry but after this post in particular it does sound like you might be better off without her...did you see anyone else during that time/have you ever been with anyone else? I get it must be impossible to imagine life without her if you've been dating for so long (albeit on and off), but sometimes it's worth discovering. That's the thing...you don't really have a point of reference, which isn't necessarily a good thing.
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I've been in 5 other relationships... And she is the only girl that can make me feel so good. She raises my motivation to become a great man. she has turned my life around greatly, and it was all by choice, she did not persuade me but her love made me. She was my first kiss and I imagine her being my last as well. She just seems to possibly be insecure and bipolar. She has always been with losers in the past and abusive relationships. I know by her body language and the look in her eyes is sincere. If this isn't true love Idk what is. I completely confused basically on how to cheer her up.
 
KavemanCam said:
I've been in 5 other relationships... And she is the only girl that can make me feel so good. She raises my motivation to become a great man. she has turned my life around greatly, and it was all by choice, she did not persuade me but her love made me. She was my first kiss and I imagine her being my last as well. She just seems to possibly be insecure and bipolar. She has always been with losers in the past and abusive relationships. I know by her body language and the look in her eyes is sincere. If this isn't true love Idk what is. I completely confused basically on how to cheer her up.
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Would she be open to getting help from a doctor? Maybe talk about her insecurities and figure out whether she's bipolar or not?
 
You deleted every single female (except mother) from your phone to please her? And she's still unhappy? That's nuts man. She can get drunk and use benzos which causes you to quarrel yet she won't be around you trippin. Where's the give and take here?
The fact she won't "allow" you to have female friends over without being accompanied by a boyfriend screams insecurity. Plus the "I'm not good enough for you" shit would make me crazy. If she was with another guy for 2 years,(knowing it would piss you off) and as soon as he broke it off you're back together the same day. There's so many things here that should make you think twice about committing to this girl. Why would different people say she is cheating if there was not some truth to it? This would trouble me.

I can see how she will act when you go into the service. She will either A: demand you marry her and if you don't she will keep guilting you by saying she's not good enough for you. Or B: get a new boyfriend and rub your face into it. (as she's done before) You might be a glutton for punishment to keep putting up with this crap. First love or not, you're both still very young. You may not see it now, but there are so many other young ladies out there who you would be more compatible with. Do your tour of duty and I guarantee you will come out a different man.
 
when i read "my girlfriend is jealous of other women" my first thought was its always the insecure ones that are doing the dirty.

in life people tend to think that other people are just like them. so if you are cheating then you become paranoid that your boyfriend will cheat on you

also the people claiming she is cheating may be bullshitting?
 
KavemanCam said:
I've been in 5 other relationships... And she is the only girl that can make me feel so good. She raises my motivation to become a great man. she has turned my life around greatly, and it was all by choice, she did not persuade me but her love made me. She was my first kiss and I imagine her being my last as well. She just seems to possibly be insecure and bipolar. She has always been with losers in the past and abusive relationships. I know by her body language and the look in her eyes is sincere. If this isn't true love Idk what is. I completely confused basically on how to cheer her up.
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If she has a history of abusive relationships she should probably work on her issues with a therapist or something. It's normal in that case for her to have more trouble trusting people but it's unlikely she'll get over it by herself and without professional help. There's only so much you can do. Has she ever seen a therapist?
 
So many people who don't even know you giving you the same advice. What do any of them have to gain by misleading you? I think you already know this relationship has been heading south for a long time.She controls who you interact with (in person and on the phone), controls what you want to do with your body even down to the specific drug you are allowed to ingest. Telling you she's no good for you and such (yeah, these are mind games). It's not your job in life to make people feel happy,sad or any emotion. In a healthy relationship you support and nurture each others emotional well being not cause it. I wish you luck sir.
 
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