Vent/Rant Thread vs 3 (Triggering Content)

[michael]

surprisingly, he didn't really try to push the machine on me, which was nice.

the PLMD script didn't work out for me.

a couple days ago i woke up from an obvious apnea. it was, in a word, terrifying. as a matter of fact, it was scary enough to make me reconsider acquiescing to the machine. i think i am going to give in and do it.i have nothing to lose and everything to gain. i will just need to get used to it.

 

[michael]

and for crying out loud, i just want a decent night's sleep.

 

[Draven26]

26 years old been clean off of Crystal Meth for 2 years but I feel drained of energy still! No motivation. No job! No money been trying to find work for over a year now! Wish I had health insurance so I could find me a therapist to talk to about my depression and maybe get prescribed something for energy! Can't find a stimulant online.. and my best days are when I think about killing myself.. seriously I guess that's all =/

 

[michael]

onward to med #2 for PLMD...hopefully with less side effects.

 

[Psychlone Jack]

Someone fucking stole from me last night. It wasn't much, a pack of cigs and maybe a gram of weed, but still. What gets me is all the possible "suspects" are people I never would expect to backstab a friend.

Just another antiquated term that has no place in todays world - friend.

 

[pharmakos]

Someone fucking stole from me last night. It wasn't much, a pack of cigs and maybe a gram of weed, but still. What gets me is all the possible "suspects" are people I never would expect to backstab a friend.

Just another antiquated term that has no place in todays world - friend.

i had a friend steal an ounce of chronic from me. idk for sure who did it, but whoever it was knew exactly where i had it hidden... they didn't do any digging around my apartment at all.

i was supposed to sell it to pay the down payment on a new apartment, since my landlord sold my old one and i had to move out.

because of that O getting stolen i had to move back in with my mom. i shouldn't have relied on weed money for my bills, so its sorta my own fault, but damn was i pissed... it was my only option for paying for a new apartment.

whichever friend that stole it probably felt really bad when he found out that was the reason i had to leave town.

 

[Jean-Paul]

fuck kpin addiction...even though i have no reason to take them today and i need my tolerance to go down, i need at least one for that mint feeling under my tongue....my roommate has some weak valium i could use on days like this but he totes it around with him, fearing i'll take the whole bottle (and maybe feel something)

 

[spork]

Dear Phil,

I was trying to pinpoint our last communication with each other. I found it was via a Facebook status of yours. You said that pho has the ability to bring the dead back to life. I commented and agreed that pho can do just about anything and it's perfect to eat every day. We then went on to discuss just how good pho is and which place in town had the best. This was just a few weeks before you left us. It turns out we were wrong. No matter how much pho I eat, it won't bring you back. That still won't stop me from trying though.

I miss you. I wish I told you how much you meant to me before it was too late. I wish I could have helped you.

 

[ad lib]

Dear Phil,

I was trying to pinpoint our last communication with each other. I found it was via a Facebook status of yours. You said that pho has the ability to bring the dead back to life. I commented and agreed that pho can do just about anything and it's perfect to eat every day. We then went on to discuss just how good pho is and which place in town had the best. This was just a few weeks before you left us. It turns out we were wrong. No matter how much pho I eat, it won't bring you back. That still won't stop me from trying though.

I miss you. I wish I told you how much you meant to me before it was too late. I wish I could have helped you.

Spork

No words I can say will ever heal your wound, but I wish it could. I wish I could reach through the computer, hug you, and make it better.

Sending much your way.

(((())))

 

[FnX]

Nurses... goddamn it's rare to find even a nurse who knows that he/she's doing (god forbid finding such a doctor/psychiatrist). Went to a blood test today, tried asking the nurse like three times what exactly are they measuring from me (it was mentioned in the small notes I gave her that I got from the reception). She had obviously no clue and got angry at me for asking these questions and exposing her glaring lack of knowing, almost yelling at me "WELL IT'S THE NORMAL LIVER ENZYME TEST!!! DOCTOR CHECKS IF THE VALUES ARE OK!!". It was bizarre.

When it was time for the test itself, I ran to the same problem I run every time I have somebody else stick needles to me, I so wanted to ask the nurse to let me do it myself. She was a trained professional ffs, they should know better how to do it without harming the body. To top it all off when she was done, she literally rips the needle out from my vein faster than I've ever seen anyone do. My whole arm hurts for days every time I go to that place.

EDIT: I often wonder how on earth is it possible that we put our most vital possession, our health, in the hands of people like these lol.

 

[Abject]

To top it all off when she was done, she literally rips the needle out from my vein faster than I've ever seen anyone do. My whole arm hurts for days every time I go to that place.

I would not be letting her touch me after that.

 

[FnX]

Urgh, when I finally get some sleep, I hate waking up in the middle of the night after few hours of sleep feeling hyper-aroused and anxious, almost like the beginning of a panic attack that never really begins. I wonder if it's sleep apnea, it runs in the family. Also made me realize I haven't really been to a regular doctor for years, maybe I should get my physical health checked. It's like, you go so often to psychiatrists and other mental health professionals so you kinda feel like you're seeing doctors all the time and neglect actually asking physicians about other issues. Pfft, feeling terrible... I think I really should see a physician asap as there's something weird going on with my prostate too. I hope I'm just being a hypochondriac.

 

[spork]

^I hate that feeling of "about to have a panic attack." It's so much better to just have it and be done with it so I don't have to constantly worry that it's gonna be coming on soon. That's the worst.

I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

[neversickanymore]

I love and respect the fair to death.. but what is up with you all in the work place, in competition over nothing or things you create, no literally things you make up or create and then act as if they are totally real, Yes intelligent,, successful fair, but even though you are in some insane make believe competition to the death, where each fair competing is locked in a bizarre game that they alone create and experience, but act as if all the other fair are fully aware and engrossed in their specific fantasy as well, but in really know that every other fair definitely has their own particular imaginary hunger games competition with every other fair.. (and yes they are all competing) consisting of parameters and events that have no real basis, which you fair often seem to make up as you go, with every other fair that you can rationalize or maybe even not rationalize as any level of competition in any area. But then when you are required to interact you are the most pleasant of fair and we who have just witnessed you both at different times in the last twenty minutes hurling oaths and creating the most ingenious ways of belittling and stating through smiles the most gruesome possible early deaths for each other, are able to embrace with faces showing true care and love, with not the slightest hint of animosity... returning to absolute hate when out of sight of the other.. but in spite of this apparent hate or love or whatever this insanity is, will have each others back.. all the way to the jailhouse.. if there comes a time where either one of you need to get out from under some well earned punishment, resulting from absolutely deserved blame and consequence. Really if you two fair can lie that well all the time I will never know if you are telling the truth.. but because of your actions today I highly doubt if truth has any place in your heads or a sliver of meaning or significance in your lives.. fiction, I guess it gives a whole new meaning to reality.

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

A friend of mine traveled back to her home town to take an amateur photographer to court for raping her. The fucking bastard gets a slap on the wrist

I'm so fucking pissed at our justice system.

Tasmania's main sexual assault victim advocacy group is horrified by suggestions in a Hobart court that a 17-year-old victim "significantly contributed" to her sexual assault.

The comment was made by defence lawyer, <NAME REMOVED>, SC, in the case of a Sydney-based amateur photographer who was convicted of sexually assaulting the aspiring model in a Hobart hotel room in 2011.

The court heard 33-year-old <NAME REMOVED> photographed the girl in a hotel room in lingerie, then naked, before he removed his clothes.

He then offered her $100 to "fool around", but she told him she was a "model, not a prostitute".

He then sexually assaulted her.

<NAME REMOVED> told the court "a more sensible girl" would not have gone to the hotel room to meet a man she had made contact with on the internet.

<NAME REMOVED> of the Sexual Assault Support Service says the comments are unacceptable.

"These sorts of attitudes values and comments being made in a way that is destructive both to victims but also gives licence to others in the community to continue this unacceptable act of sexually assaulting others that don't want to have sexual engagement with them," she said.

<NAME REMOVED> was given a six-month suspended sentence.

The Judge said <NAME REMOVED> had been "gentle" with the girl and hadn't been violent or threatened her.

 

[michael]

periodic limb movement disorder blows. sometimes i can't get comfortable at all. i am stuck in a med run around.

the first script i lost my appetite totally, and when i did eat i felt nauseated.

the next script made me pee every half hour. lost my appetite on that one, too.

called the doctors office today, and the nurse said she didn't know what the doctor could script after that. i do know what he can script for it after that and o be honest i don't really want to go down either road.

 

[Pagey]

The incompetence of certain doctors is almost laughable. I just spent my whole appointment explaining to him what tetrazepam was because he'd never heard of it. Then I had to explain why it's not the same as diazepam. Then I had to point out the extremely obvious abnormalities on my xray.
Jesus. Starting to give up on the idea that I'll ever get any kind of help.

 

[iliketoast]

I can't stand it when someone is accusing me of something I know for a fact I did not do.

It gets even worse when they are exhibiting signs of psychosis/schizophrenia, that not only I but other people are noticing.

It's only a matter of time before they alienate everyone else around them; kind of tragic IMO. The typical onset of schizophrenia lines up with their age too. It's so sad to watch such a gifted mind struggle with this.

I know how painful this is.

-----

My current rants/irritations with life are petty. Why DO they call it common sense or common courtesy when such qualities seem so rare?

 

[xstayfadedx]

Lately I don't want to participate in life.... especially this week. I'm tired of worrying about shit I can't control, school, money, work... life in general. I'm using heroin again and I'm back into that depressive state. All I've been thinking is why not go on a huge heroin binge and live for one more month? Then that's it. Sad thoughts... we'll see what happens when this semester is done. I have a feeling everything is going to come crashing down once again... the usual, but this time I'm going to say fuck it. I give up.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm feeling bad about the way I lived my life throughout mid-2011 until about a month or two ago. I feel like I was too complacent with how bad things had gotten, and I essentially had given up on making any positive changes. I didn't reach out or ask for help. I literally waited around until someone offered to help me with a major life issue, and I'm eternally grateful that they helped me. I wish it wasn't so hard for me to reach out and ask for help.