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Stimulants Is there no hope for me!?

Draven26

Draven26

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 21, 2013
Messages
740
Location
East County
Been clean for 2 years off Crystal Meth.. and I came here to get help. I don't know if I am allowed to ask if there is anything that will help with energy or not. I'm just here to get help though. 2 years and I still feel drained. What can I do and what can I take that will help aid with my lethargy? Are there any stimulants I can try taking without prescription? I don't want to be medicated forever I just want something that will help me in the long run. Would selegeline help? I'm just trying to fix this problem! Don't want to stay like this forever! I'd rather be dead!
 
Hey welcome to blue light, I'm stll a relative newbie as have only been on bluelight a year myself, but i just wanna say from the off how well i thought you phrased your current situation. Its absolutely the case that bluelight is not an advice centre for getting high. I however identify with your situation and am very willing to share what works for me. Before i begin i just wanna say congrats on two years off the ice. I got into that stuff about 10 years ago when i was in the states and its no fucking joke. You obviously have the will power of an ox to get off that stuff for 2 years while feeling tired too.
Anyway, the biggest bug bear in my life is fluctuating energy levels. Day time lethargy is a killer, and mild stims like modafinil, caffeine, ethylphenidate etc only help me with an energy boost when i have something more serotonin or opiate based. Tramadol has been hugely effective for me in the past, but i also gave me rotten heachaces for over a year. Every day. I was taking such a variety of other things that i had no reason until i was chatting to a mates mate who was a gp who was like whoah you take tramadol - thats fucking dirty etc..Working in a hospital the trend was obvious. However, haveing conquered my former tramadol concerns i can say that its is very usefull in terms of lethargy. Basically i use it to smooth out all my body rhythms. Its a funny old drug, most people think is an opiate - however it is actaully a half way house bewteen an opiate like codeine or vicodin and an anti depressant - its very simillar in structure to effexor / venlafaxine. I often take it two days in a row as there is a slight senesitisation, due to amounts left in system so you may as well get your bang for your buck. I don't know how much of scientist you are so i'll risk boring you with stuff you know, but serotonin is a very unique transmitter substance. it is not like dopamine or any of the immediate signal mediators in the brain. Its more like a hormone for the brain, so it affects all other things like dopamine and glutamate - adrenalin causes changes on so many different systems as it is released to travel and spread across your whole body all at once - biasing the activity of every sub system beneath it.
However i have to say, that for a while the stimulants i'm about to mention worked perfectly well at boosting my core metabolic energy state, whatever that means. I don't know exactly how lethargy works. Anway, i used to get a lot of mileage out of modafinil and an ephedrine cafffeine combo, in alternation. See i was studying a neuroscience degee when i started taking these drugs, so i generally rotate my drugs as much as possible - ethylphenidate one day, and mpa the next. I find the mpa is a bit of funny one and i have to be careful as like you i had past addiction problems to euphoria inducing stims so i have to be careful with mpa methiopropamine. Its like a funny sort of half way house between light stims like ritalin and the heavy ones - from regular amphetamine and upwards. Its heavy on my system, in a good way as it gives me boundless energy and makes me so motivated. its just a real interesting hybrid - though one i fell into abusing recently - well actually i abuse all my drugs really, but in a smart way - atlesast in that i found a way to get benefits from both life enhancement and performance at song writing, studying or whatever, while also getting high enough to enjoy my job.

Nice to make your acquintance

swarm
 
I'm glad someone responded back! I'm on the verge to kill myself seriously! I'm just depressed and I'm sick of not being able to find something that will replace Meth. Obviously I know nothing can replace Meth.. but I at least want to try to take something that will help with energy. I've tried Modafinil in the past and I took it for 2 years.. I didn't notice any effects. I don't have a job or any money at the moment and I don't have health insurance.. but I would like to try mpa or ethylphenidate. I just don't know where I can find those things floating around in the internet =/ *shrugs*
 
Have you had your thyroid or iron levels checked? After two years it might not be related to amphetamine withdrawal, but other than that perhaps look at antidepressants.

Also, don't randomly start taking tramadol. It's very hit or miss, regulated, and from a handful of case reports subject to tolerance for all the desirable effects. Talk to your doctor first to get basic biological causes sorted out.
 
After 2 years, it's definitely not related to the meth... It's either your life style (not a proper diet, vitamins, lack of exercise) or some other medical condition.

Making life-style changes is your best bet right now to combat this feeling.. using drugs will only make it worse and land you potentially back where you were or worse off.
 
There is hope for you! First, see a good doctor to rule out any physical and mental health issues. Then, you can make changes to your diet and lifestyle and take vitamins and supplements. Taking some kind of legal or quasi-legal stimulant drug is not going to solve your problems long-term and you may just end up dependent on that. As for the selegiline, is that something your doctor suggested?
 
yeah bro, no one ever wants to here this but get on that elliptical ski machine at the gym and get a half hour in if you can.

i was on opiates for 10 years and yeah its a lot different, i have abused amphetamines as well (along with all the exotic halogenated amps), and i was a pile of shit... at university too. i finally got the motivation to get to the gym and if you get some REAL cardio in man, youre going to feel half your weight, like your floating again, but in a healthy way :)

good luck man, as most have said, its diet and lifestyle... your own thoughts even. just try and map how your thought process works and youll realize a lot of lifes bullshit doesnt even really exist. i hope that makes sense to you. feel free to pm me any time if you need some help with anything!
 
So if it's my Thyroid should I take T3? Would that help with energy? And no I don't have a doctor as I don't have a job or health insurance at the moment (( YEah I know I am pretty much shit out of luck and jolly well fucked )) but I suggested Selegeline maybe it would help with depression and energy?

I work out and I get some pretty decent work outs but I am just ready to give up because it doesn't feel the same as it used to. Obviously for me everything feels better on Meth.. so I don't know if I am ever going to get through life or get over Meth and that's what scares me.. it sucks!
 
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I'm willing to bet that this is a problem that predates your meth use, and which actually caused you to self-medicate with meth.
 
What am I supposed to do though? Everything is better when you're on Meth. Everything like writing and working out.. you could get the body that you want in a matter of weeks and eat whatever you want and not have to worry about getting fat, lazy.. just motivation and happiness all around. Yeah I wish I hadn't used for ten years but I can't go back in time that's the fucked up part about it. And I can't find anything to replace it with or find something at least that is legal to take for energy.
 
Well stop looking for something to replace methamphetamine with, there is simply nothing that's going to replicate what meth does. Meth is unique. Meth is an epidemic.

FYI, A lot of the time, things SEEM better when you're on meth, in your opinion.... Just ask the sober people around you whether it actually is. I mean I know there are moments when methamphetamine made me not only feel like superman, but also really did do some pretty incredible/near impossible feats while tweaked outta my mind and nobody knew I was high and everyone would be impressed by the crazy-productivity-enhancing-mentality induced by the meth. I've been superhuman, I've accomplished feats most would think impossible, but does that mean it's BETTER?

Fuck no. In hindsight, most of the time I was endangering not only my life but the lives of those around me, especially when you're working with power tools or doing any type of construction work... Even though I may have been employee of the month for like, probably 75% of the months over the years, looking back, it was not at all worth the motivation. As we all know, meth is notorious for bringing out the motivation in people...

And a lot of crystal vets or functional addicts are able to control the extent to which meth motivates them, because if you don't exercise control, people are going to know you're tweaking because it's not NORMAL to be mowing the front lawn at 2AM and/or using the leaf blower and/or gas-powered pressure sprayer to spot clean every inch of *hopefully your* house.

So fuck crystal, you don't need it, unlike others, I actually do believe that your lack of motivation and depression are a result of your methamphetamine abuse, even though it's been 2 years since you quit. I honestly don't think that 2 years is enough time for your brain and body as a whole to recover from the abuse you put it through, ESPECIALLY if you were the type of person to stay awake for days on end.... That shit is NOT fun, it is NOT worth it. Not hating on my homies who are hopelessly addicted to shard, but unlike my opioid and benzodiazepine addict friends, I have no idea how to help my friends who are addicted to meth. I've tried everything. That aside, I bet that your dopamine receptors are still recovering from your substance abuse, and you said your clean off crystal.... but does that mean you've been sober? Like sober sober sober sober? Or what have you been taking in the mean time, you're obviously trying to fill that void and asking for help doing so in this thread, which borders on a "what should I take" thread, which I'd like to politely remind you is against forum guidelines ....and if this thread turns into a bunch of people saying "OH YOU SHOULD TAKE ADDERALL" or "I RECOMMEND THAT YOU ABUSE BENZEDREX INHALERS!!" "WHAT ABOUT PSEUDO?" .... it will be closed like all the other what-should-I-take threads.

I don't wish to close this because I feel that beyond filling the void, you really could do with some support and I think that even if this thread goes south due to other people blatantly ignoring the rules that I have yet again outlined in this post, you'd benefit from visiting The Dark Side. They are the recovery / psychological support group subforum of Bluelight, and they are much better equipped to handle stuff like all the shit life throws at us. Take care.
 
well put tricomb...

others are in much worse situations, consider yourself lucky to be alive. accept where you are. do not block/hide/attempt to alter life, time to relearn it.
 
Draven26 said:
So if it's my Thyroid should I take T3? Would that help with energy? And no I don't have a doctor as I don't have a job or health insurance at the moment (( YEah I know I am pretty much shit out of luck and jolly well fucked )) but I suggested Selegeline maybe it would help with depression and energy?
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Don't take thyroid meds without getting your thyroid tested, that's unsafe.

Selegiline is a weird drug, it is partly metabolized to L-methamphetamine, which probably has the side effects of meth like constricted blood vessels, hypertension, increased heart rate, stomach cramps, dizziness, headaches, etc, without the "high" of meth. Selegiline is also a selective inhibitor of MAO-B. MAO-B metabolizes dopamine and phenylethylamine, so it should raise dopamine in this way but I don't know if it's effective when not taken with a dopamine precursor. I don't actually know anyone who has used it. I really wouldn't start self-medicating. I can tell you about some vitamins/supplements/herbs that can help with mood and energy if you like.

Draven26 said:
Obviously for me everything feels better on Meth.. so I don't know if I am ever going to get through life or get over Meth and that's what scares me.. it sucks!
Click to expand...

You can! You've already made it 2 years! I agree with TheAppleCore in that you probably had problems pre-dating your meth use which led you to use meth in the first place and that those issues need to be addressed for you to feel better. You need to fill that hole that meth left with healthier things.
 
honestly man I would work on proper diet and exercise....I got my script of Dexedrine and had more energy and everything is fine and dandy but I cant stress enough us as amp addicts we just love them and after quickly taking many dexis for a couple months....fast forward to now and ive been up for 2 days on meth and starting to crash....just don't do it man. Please.
 
Yeah well it's a really helpless feeling. There's one bluelighter on here who's a die-hard tweaker and I think about him all the time.... He doesn't log in much anymore...
 
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