bdomihizayka
Bluelighter
Long story. I have been using opiates for about a year. About 4 times a month until this past November when I started every day use and my switch from pills to heroin.
I was put on benzos for the first time in my life for anxiety in September. 1mg klonopin a day. Never abused or misused. Tried to stop 3.5 weeks into it because it made me depressed and suffered the motherfucking wrath of benzo withdrawal. Intense derealization and restlessness....like I was stuck in a bad acid trip. Promptly went to the hospital, reinstated, and got educated on benzos and their notoriously horrid withdrawal.
Tapered off the klonopin and was off the first week in November.
Was not right in the head, thus masked my ailments with opiate use everyday by the end of November.
Reinstated on 15mg Valium the beggining of December, was still using opiates everyday.
I quit heroin and benzos (down to 5mg Valium) exactly 5 weeks ago. The very last day I did opiates, I took 16 30mg instant release oxycodone pills which didn't come close to even making me feel "right" and most certainly no euphoria at all.
I know people who have been physically addicted to opiates longer than I have with nowheres near the ridiculous tolerance I accumulated within a few months everyday use.
I still don't feel "right" in the head. It feels like I have been put in a slightly different reality...yet I cannot tell you what's different. I have INTENSE head pressure which is literally driving me nuts. I feel like losing control sometimes. It's very scary.
I'm afraid I permanently damaged my brain. I was not using opiates "that" long, but fuck, my tolerance was that of a well seasoned veteran which I cannot explain. So did accumulating that high opiate tolerance permanently fuck up my brain, or is it time on opiates that will damage your brain more? Is this still the benzo withdrawal?
I was put on benzos for the first time in my life for anxiety in September. 1mg klonopin a day. Never abused or misused. Tried to stop 3.5 weeks into it because it made me depressed and suffered the motherfucking wrath of benzo withdrawal. Intense derealization and restlessness....like I was stuck in a bad acid trip. Promptly went to the hospital, reinstated, and got educated on benzos and their notoriously horrid withdrawal.
Tapered off the klonopin and was off the first week in November.
Was not right in the head, thus masked my ailments with opiate use everyday by the end of November.
Reinstated on 15mg Valium the beggining of December, was still using opiates everyday.
I quit heroin and benzos (down to 5mg Valium) exactly 5 weeks ago. The very last day I did opiates, I took 16 30mg instant release oxycodone pills which didn't come close to even making me feel "right" and most certainly no euphoria at all.
I know people who have been physically addicted to opiates longer than I have with nowheres near the ridiculous tolerance I accumulated within a few months everyday use.
I still don't feel "right" in the head. It feels like I have been put in a slightly different reality...yet I cannot tell you what's different. I have INTENSE head pressure which is literally driving me nuts. I feel like losing control sometimes. It's very scary.
I'm afraid I permanently damaged my brain. I was not using opiates "that" long, but fuck, my tolerance was that of a well seasoned veteran which I cannot explain. So did accumulating that high opiate tolerance permanently fuck up my brain, or is it time on opiates that will damage your brain more? Is this still the benzo withdrawal?