Is the gym a "creeper" place to approach girls?

[rangrz]

i wouldnt ever engage a woman in the gym simply because she is there to do something, not to be approached. they get plenty of that at any other moment.

i do, however, allow myself to appear highly approachable, and easily engaged.

So, you (presumably) want them to approach you, but you don't feel it's correct it approach them. Seems like a pretty arbitrary double standard you've made up there...

 

[China Rider]

some people like the be the game, some like the be hunters

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

So, you (presumably) want them to approach you, but you don't feel it's correct it approach them. Seems like a pretty arbitrary double standard you've made up there...

that's exactly what I was thinking. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense - it could even be construed as misogynistic in fact. I kinda get it though - but it's the same for most situations, the guys wait for the green light (eye contact, preening, other positive body language) before making a move. Otherwise we'd be setting ourselves up for failure, unless we worked out that gal was shy.

hey what's up pagey? how come you haven't replied to my comment?

hahahaha

Korey - Pagey's post has put it clearly and concisely - if you don't get anything but accidental eye contact, I'd suggest not bothering. Other than that., it's up to you whether you want to hit on someone at the gym, and why - whether they are just physically hot, or they give off a general energy of someone you'd be attracted to. It's like fucking someone you work with - if you're only interested in fucking, and don't make it very clear, you might have to change gyms! HAHAHA

 

[rangrz]

that's exactly what I was thinking. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense - it could even be construed as misogynistic in fact.

Yes, that is actually what makes it so hilarious IMO. That poster is generally QUITE vocal about how much he decries discrimination, double standards, etc and how is he is otherwise an anti-racist, pro-feminist, etc etc. Then he goes and makes a post like that. It made me laugh so hard.

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

^ yeah no I found it most odd too.


I think you're making a distinction between the way men and women think - there is no difference due to GENDER. Personality types - yes.

You obviously don't understand the male psyche. Glistening female you're attracted to exerting herself, out of breath, flushed cheeks and exuding pheromones is just about as hot as it gets. Unless of course you mean the lady in question would be feeling self-conscious, and I totally missed the point.

Apparently Pagey is one person who thinks that people all hot and sweaty is gross - which doesn't really bode well for intense fucking does it - but that's nothing to do with her gender, and more the fact that it's just conditioning.

 

[Pagey]

You obviously don't understand the male psyche. Glistening female you're attracted to exerting herself, out of breath, flushed cheeks and exuding pheromones is just about as hot as it gets. Unless of course you mean the lady in question would be feeling self-conscious, and I totally missed the point.

But anyway man, you can be a creep anywhere, from libraries to clubs. The opposite is also true. It's just about adjusting your approach to the circumstances at hand and your (plural) states of mind. "So, can I buy you some gatorade?" Wouldn't really work in a gym. Nah mean?

Nah I mean I think that's really hot during sex and all, but...you know I'm realizing I'm being quite hypocritical because men working out are a massive turn on for me. I just didn't think the opposite was true. I'll shut up then
But yes regarding the self-conscious thing, the gym certainly isn't the place where I feel most attractive, but maybe I'll be a bit more confident there after that comment haha

Apparently Pagey is one person who thinks that people all hot and sweaty is gross - which doesn't really bode well for intense fucking does it - but that's nothing to do with her gender, and more the fact that it's just conditioning.

Ugh I said it's gross at the gym, obviously I don't think it's gross during sex, quite the contrary...sheesh

 

[rangrz]

Hmm, but I think gender is an indirect effect on this type of opinion. Let me explain.

See, I think that when we are attracted to one gender or the other (not bi) our perspective on what's hot and not can have an double standard, at least in terms of our initial gut reaction. So, as an example, that rangrz will put his dignity and respect on the line to make (because I'm going to use some more unusual and more fetishy examples to illustrate my point) So, I'm a straight male, and I find the idea of, say, giving a guy's a hairy asshole a tonguing, pulling his sneakers off and sucking on his toes, or kneeling down and opening my mouth up so he can aim his cock at my mouth and piss into it rather revolting. More generally, I find men's assholes, feet and cocks and piss gross. On the other hand, I get the hugest boner ever from rimming a girl, kissing her toes and find drinking her pee to very erotic in the right context (usually a scene where I'm subbing). More generally, I think girl's assholes, feet and vagoo's and pee to quite nice and attractive things.

Perhaps Pagey's feelings towards men who are working out, or working hard, are different than they are towards women? If not, well you're also right roughjack, that people are conditioned to like and dislike certain things too, but I think my factor is also important to keep in mind.

Addendum: I've even noticed it with bi people, that the same act or feature is hot or not with different genders. From my own exp, like I've known bi girls who where Domme with men but sub or switch with girls, ones who had the exact same things I used in my example (i.e. who liked rimming other girls, or had a foot fetish towards other girls, but not towards guys...usually citing the relative attractiveness of those specific body parts on guys vs girls) etc. I think it has something to do with gender, but not quite in the way that pontifex01 laid out.

Edit:elle oh elle, pagey replied and confirmed my hypothesis while I was typing it out. Score me on making a working hypothesis tho, I can apparently kick it not only at physics, and not only at biomedicine, but at psychology too.

 

[Pagey]

^Haha yeah, nice job anticipating what I was thinking totally agree with what you're saying. I mean I consider myself capable of judging female attractiveness seeing as I have been attracted to women before (wouldn't say I'm 'bi', I'm much more into men, but the occasional woman does catch my eye) and women at the gym are just really not hot for me. It's a very different matter with men. But it obviously makes sense that straight men would view that differently, or that any person would view it differently really - my ex had some sort of sweat phobia when it wasn't during sex, haha.

 

[rangrz]

I mean yeah, I can judge the attractiveness of men, in general too. But when it comes to more detailed and/or "raunchier" things, it's hard for me to formulate a quick judgement of it.

I can do it if I sit there for a second and make a deliberate effort to abstract my own sexual identity away, or when it comes to a specific act or body part, to abstract away the primary and secondary sexual features and make a generalized model of "human".

 

[Pagey]

^It's funny but I've noticed that men often have more trouble judging the attractiveness of other men than women do of other women. Not trying to be stereotypical or sexist or whatever in any way, but all the girls I know have no trouble at all immadiately deciding whether another is hot or not, whereas I've barely ever met a straight guy who could do that. I wonder why.

 

[rangrz]

Dunno...sometimes I underestimate the attractiveness of certain men, but when I think a guy would be a hot guy and consult with a hetero/bi girl or gay/bi man, I'm almost always correct. So, I get some false negatives but not false positives. But that might be taste too, cause I usually get my false negatives on like skinny, pale, effeminate men or emo/hipsters/goth/other subcultures I'm not overly fond of for the most part. Also, I guess like tattooed, pierced, long hair, etc. But that is probably just my general dislike of that look.

I get find girls get a lot of false negatives too. Like I'll point out a girl I think is cute to my S/O and she'll be like "would not hit/not cute". But again, when she points out a cute girl, I usually agree. When I don't, it's again, often a subculture or specific look that I happen to not like.

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

I like this post. All that talk about the rimming, toe sucking and pissing with a guy made me fucking cringe hard, but thinking about it for a female is great. I'm too dom for my own good.

Hmm, but I think gender is an indirect effect on this type of opinion. Let me explain.

See, I think that when we are attracted to one gender or the other (not bi) our perspective on what's hot and not can have an double standard, at least in terms of our initial gut reaction. So, as an example, that rangrz will put his dignity and respect on the line to make (because I'm going to use some more unusual and more fetishy examples to illustrate my point) So, I'm a straight male, and I find the idea of, say, giving a guy's a hairy asshole a tonguing, pulling his sneakers off and sucking on his toes, or kneeling down and opening my mouth up so he can aim his cock at my mouth and piss into it rather revolting. More generally, I find men's assholes, feet and cocks and piss gross. On the other hand, I get the hugest boner ever from rimming a girl, kissing her toes and find drinking her pee to very erotic in the right context (usually a scene where I'm subbing). More generally, I think girl's assholes, feet and vagoo's and pee to quite nice and attractive things.

Perhaps Pagey's feelings towards men who are working out, or working hard, are different than they are towards women? If not, well you're also right roughjack, that people are conditioned to like and dislike certain things too, but I think my factor is also important to keep in mind.

Addendum: I've even noticed it with bi people, that the same act or feature is hot or not with different genders. From my own exp, like I've known bi girls who where Domme with men but sub or switch with girls, ones who had the exact same things I used in my example (i.e. who liked rimming other girls, or had a foot fetish towards other girls, but not towards guys...usually citing the relative attractiveness of those specific body parts on guys vs girls) etc. I think it has something to do with gender, but not quite in the way that pontifex01 laid out.

Edit:elle oh elle, pagey replied and confirmed my hypothesis while I was typing it out. Score me on making a working hypothesis tho, I can apparently kick it not only at physics, and not only at biomedicine, but at psychology too.

This post generally made me chuckle though.

Pagey - I was pushing you a little with the sweaty sex comment - totally facetious

Personally when I go to the gym I love to watch the big muscley guys pumping weights, and watching teh gals row, or jog and their asses and tits bounce. The gym is a great place to watch hot bodies in action, smell the aromas when they're not too dowsed in aluminium-deodorants, that's pretty much the only reason I would ever go back.

 

[rangrz]

I like this post. All that talk about the rimming, toe sucking and pissing with a guy made me fucking cringe hard, but thinking about it for a female is great. I'm too dom for my own good.

To address the first bolded part: See, I'm not all bad, right? To address the second one: Wouldn't that make you sub, not dom? Or are you implying that you want the female to be the one administering the rimming to you/sucking your toe/drinking your piss, in which case, that's more dom. Altho the first 2 acts in particular can be done without any D/s context just for the sensation.

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

To address the first bolded part: See, I'm not all bad, right? To address the second one: Wouldn't that make you sub, not dom? Or are you implying that you want the female to be the one administering the rimming to you/sucking your toe/drinking your piss, in which case, that's more dom. Altho the first 2 acts in particular can be done without any D/s context just for the sensation.

not really...I'm in control of everything, and that extends to every kind of pleasure I can give a woman. I wouldn't have a girl piss in my mouth, but that's actually because urine generally tastes fucking disgusting, unless your diet is really spot-on, otherwise I would probably do it, because urine is good for you. It's not submissive, it's not even switch or dom really - it's fairly equal, I usually do most of the work, but I like it when a girl takes an active role too, but never a dominant one - that's not a turn on for me in the slightest.

Also awww bless - I never thought you were a dick, I've always liked your posts. I think you overthink things sometimes, and don't see the forest for the trees, but I see this in your posts because it's something I used to do myself, until I realized how much it held me back socially.

^It's funny but I've noticed that men often have more trouble judging the attractiveness of other men than women do of other women. Not trying to be stereotypical or sexist or whatever in any way, but all the girls I know have no trouble at all immadiately deciding whether another is hot or not, whereas I've barely ever met a straight guy who could do that. I wonder why.

I dunno about that one - we just don't vocalize it anywhere near as much as lasses do, because it sounds homo for us to do that given the society we live in, which is something most of us don't wanna sound...unless one of our mates is fretting a little, and we say "you're a handsome fella, you should do alright with her..." etc blah blah, it's not something that's done. I have however noticed all my mates compliment each other on stuff like hats, beards, jackets, and superficial stuff, but wouldn't say "wow your arms are looking really great in that jumper today", like girls would to their friends regarding their ass or tits.

Also, attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, and also in someone's swagger or energy and not necessarily looks - so could you elaborate on your point, because as it stands I don't think it's just. Maybe the guys you know are just too young, and uncomfortable expressing this kind of thing? I dunno, it doesn't add up to me.

 

[Pagey]

Personally when I go to the gym I love to watch the big muscley guys pumping weights, and watching teh gals row, or jog and their asses and tits bounce. The gym is a great place to watch hot bodies in action, smell the aromas when they're not too dowsed in aluminium-deodorants, that's pretty much the only reason I would ever go back.

Kay the bouncing boobs thing made me get it haha. I still don't think the 'aromas' in a gym smell particularly good 8)

I dunno about that one - we just don't vocalize it anywhere near as much as lasses do, because it sounds homo for us to do that given the society we live in, which is something most of us don't wanna sound...unless one of our mates is fretting a little, and we say "you're a handsome fella, you should do alright with her..." etc blah blah, it's not something that's done. I have however noticed all my mates compliment each other on stuff like hats, beards, jackets, and superficial stuff, but wouldn't say "wow your arms are looking really great in that jumper today", like girls would to their friends regarding their ass or tits.

Also, attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, and also in someone's swagger or energy and not necessarily looks - so could you elaborate on your point, because as it stands I don't think it's just. Maybe the guys you know are just too young, and uncomfortable expressing this kind of thing? I dunno, it doesn't add up to me.

I wasn't talking about whether you vocalize it as much or not - literally, I've been with so many of my straight male friends and I dunno, I start staring at some hot guy who walks by and they'll be like 'was he hot?' like they genuinely have no clue. My ex told me he couldn't judge male attractiveness in the least, as did my dad and brother when the subject came up once. I swear I'm not being obtuse about this, I've really noticed a big difference between my male & female friends for that. I mean maybe it's just the people I hang out with but that seems unlikely too...

And yes of course attractiveness is subjective, but there is also such a thing as 'objective' attractiveness really...I mean I can find a guy hot without being personally attracted to him because he's not my type or whatever. If a Brad Pitt lookalike walked by for instance, doesn't really matter whether you're into him or not, I think it's fairly easy to say he's attractive.
Same, I've only ever been attracted to blonde women, but I still think that chick 13 from House is ridiculously gorgeous.

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

^yeah I dunno...not being straight and all...

 

[Perpetual Indulgence]

i hate when guys approach me at the gym. i wear headphones and don't give off any sort of vibe that i want to talk to people. avoiding people at the gym is one of the main reasons i pay a trainer and work out in private.

this

UNLESS I am leaving and they are interested in a fitness oriented date. Let's run. Let's take a class. Let's lift weights together.

 

[kaywholed]

i think it is kinda creepy when girls ogle guys at yoga class.

 

[Perpetual Indulgence]

I never notice that. Although I am concentrating on what I am doing not who is looking at me.

 

[rangrz]

Although I don't have Aspergers, I feel like I can relate to some way. The way that guys have approached me in the past has not made me excited for more guys to give me attention. I try and avoid it. This is an article that I can relate to, and I expect you could to: http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-a...r-to-the-guy-who-harrassed-me-outside-the-bar Granted, we aren't talking about this completely. But it is important to know your boundaries when you're hitting on a girl.

Yeah, it is a compliment to be hit on. But it does get to the point where the guy doesn't get the hint and he just won't leave you alone. I don't mind if a guy approaches me and asks me out and then gets the fact that I'm not interested. That is fine. But, more often than not, it just ends up uncomfortable or he's annoying or whatever. Negative reinforcement, pretty much. And it sucks when you can't enjoy something and guys keep talking to you. That's why I think many guys should just understand when a girl is not interested.

I still think that the OP can approach a girl that he wants to talk to at the gym. But don't try to talk to her while she's in the middle of exercising. Don't stare at her nonstop. I dunno, that kinda thing.

Poor fucking you. Boo hoo. It must be soo horrible. I'm going to head down to the Ontario Cancer Centre and use this story to show someone dying of bone cancer that really, they don't have it so bad. Why, they could have the utter horror of being found attractive instead! My goodness, blinding pain and intractable vomiting from chemo seem trivial compared to that!

Also, I guess you know how I (and guys similar to me) feel when we get hit on at the coffee shop in our uniforms, we're just trying to grab a fucking coffee, we don't want to be hit on! Maybe next time I should react by grabbing my 26 inch PR-24 baton and breaking her fucking collar bone? Ya?...It's analogous to the chick in that article pushing the males who where hitting on her...except, maybe I'm a bit stronger and bit better equipped skills and tools wise, at fighting. But hey, equality is equality...if it's ok to push a guy for hitting on a girl, it's equally okay for me to employ physical violence towards a female for hitting on me....mmm...yes...I actually want to do that, I want hear that sickening, wet *scheelcrack*

trollface.png

Or is it how us geeks/smart guys feel when we're at the lab or the library working and we get hit on? I can't even begin to imagine how a particular subset of smart guy must feel when he's standing in line at the Starbucks in the Atrium of the hospital, in his scrubs with his sethescope hanging around his neck, and he has a continuous stream of girls hitting on him. Probably because he has a prestigious and well paying job. But like, in any event, he is just taking a break from work and he has to put up with his torture of being hit on. Poor guy.

No seriously, I really don't understand why it's a big fucking deal. As I said, I must get (obnoxiously) hit at least 3 times a day/night when I'm on duty in uniform. Never once have I actually felt the need to resort to physical force to deter them, not even on the occasions where I've been touched/groped and even kissed. I did not feel threatened, I did not feel objectified, I just calmly stepped back and was like "ma'am, please stop" Nor have any of my colleagues ever employed force or felt genuinely upset or threatened from such incidents. So seriously, I have no idea why it's such an issue.