Heroin Experimenting with heroin

[TCMVegas]

I've tried opiates in the past, and heroin once about 2 years ago. I bought some black tar heroin last weekend. I only got one snort out of it last weekend, using the hot water method, because when I tried plugging the 75% remaining, it didn't work. Well, at least I slept through it, or passed out from it...

But I bought some more BTH today, and snorted some of it. It felt nicer than amphetamines or anything of the like. Rather than "feeling good", it was like a deep contentment. It was what you hope to get out of life, satisfaction with the world. But it also felt subtle, like I was hardly even barely high.

I don't want to get addicted, but do see myself wanting to do some more within the next week or two. I know it's a dangerous path, but I like drugs.

I have been psychologically addicted to weed in the past, which was hard to quit, though I'm 3 months clean now.
I was also addicted to amphetamines in the past. I couldn't broken the speed habit if the prescription weren't yanked out from under me.

Despite my previous habits, I've been playing around with heroin. This thread is to put me in contact with the bluelight community, and so that I can see over time if my habits change from what I intend.

So, I think I can get away with doing it a couple times more. Eh?

 

[Pagey]

Honestly? I don't think you should. It's always 'oh, I'll just do it once more', and then 'just once a month', 'once a week', etc, and before you know it you can't stop...speaking from experience. I used various opiates for a while, hydrocodone, oxys, bupe, whatever and never had too many problems with them so I figured I could try heroin to see what all the hype was about, and since then I haven't really stopped using it. I used it a few days in a row, decided it was over, and then ended up buying more two or three weeks later, and it eventually turned into almost daily use, even IV use eventually.
I used to think people exaggerated about it but now I honestly don't believe there is such a thing as 'playing around with heroin'. If you've been psychologically addicted to weed I really believe it's extremely unlikely you're gonna beat the odds with heroin. You should really reconsider what you're planning to do and the potential this has of ruining your life.

 

[nAON]

Don't mean to sound rude/blunt, but why exactly did you make this thread? BDD is a question-and-answer forum, is there anything in particular you needed advice on?

This thread is to put me in contact with the bluelight community, and so that I can see over time if my habits change from what I intend.

If it's just to get to know some people and general drug talk, i'd recommend one of the social threads (we have one here in BDD, and there may be some opiate megathreads over in Other Drugs somewhere, or you could always make a blog)

And from my experience, people that try and make threads looking for validation of their drug habits usually end up putting themselves in denial. If you're only just starting on opiates, just bear in mind it's usually just downhill from here, unless you can seriously restrict yourself (ie. once a month).

 

[adder]

It was what you hope to get out of life, satisfaction with the world. But it also felt subtle, like I was hardly even barely high.

That is why you can't say "no" eventually. So if this following statement is true:

I don't want to get addicted (...)

then you shouldn't "experiment" with heroin, it's not meant for experimenting. I haven't seen a single person having a constant access to it not ending up addicted eventually.

 

[blight12]

You can experiment with something like meth and it might even be worth it with different things to be gained and variation to the experience validating the value of experimentation (call it real, call it an excuse..), but not opiates.

After the first time you realize its great like they say and any other usage is no longer experimentation. It has one purpose only besides the medical ones, and in my mind making the decision to proceed with regular usage feels to me like some sort of decision or acceptance of an idea beyond what you might think with unacceptable risks.

Cant define this idea exactly but its nothing constructive meaning a required acceptance of this concept in your mind opening the door to all the future decisions of pure hedonistic self harm that will follow. Pain relief aside of course.

Its like unconsciously accepting the title of being something negative which means blinding accepting and acting out all that goes along with it. What you think you are you will be.

Im no opiate hater, but for example stims allow for the delusion of functional purpose and at the very least this delusion allows you to resist accepting a lesser or dangerous idea about yourself and your actions, you got an excuse. A form of self delusion that can actually be useful.

But yeah i tend to over-think things.

 

[pally pete]

Rather than "feeling good", it was like a deep contentment. It was what you hope to get out of life, satisfaction with the world. But it also felt subtle, like I was hardly even barely high.

If this is what you experience then addiction is sure to follow.

 

[Crashing]

Heroin is best left for people with opiate addictions who have exhausted less potent means of getting high. Definitely not an experiment worthy substance. It makes you tired, complacent, and pain free, not much to discover there.

 

[Mass08]

Dude I guarantee your going to end up addicted to heroin if you keep using it. Guarantee it. Just look at your past it's a no brainer. Don't use heroin.

 

[TheLostBoys]

Heroin is best left for people with opiate addictions who have exhausted less potent means of getting high. Definitely not an experiment worthy substance. It makes you tired, complacent, and pain free, not much to discover there.

^^^^

I wont touch heroin for these reason........I havent even begun to tire out the other avenues of lesser potent opiates so I may never get to heroin. If I did heroin, my tolerance to opiates would sky rocket, something I dont want. Imo, I will explore every opiate under the sun before even thinking of trying heroin. And the thing is, I wont ever try Fentanyl, too many horror stories. Same thing for heroin, its not worth it in the long run, but to each their own................

 

[majorigpa]

i'm going to to agree with every person who has posted thus far. Experimentation is possible with many drugs, but heroin is not one of them. The main difference between heroin and every other drug is that most drugs simply carry a psychological dependency. Getting high on weed and amphetamines is fun. You can use them every day for months on end and if suddenly you have to go without for a week, you may be grouchy or itching to use, but it's not going to alter your life to not have them. I can tell you from experience, you WILL get physically addicted to heroin if you use it for a few days in a row, and even the psychological addiction comes on a lot faster and alot stronger than any drug i've tried, and i've tried most of them. Heroin will take over your life, quickly. After a week, snorting it won't be enough. And then smoking it will leave you dissatified. Once you start to IV it, you're gonna start scamming and hustling and stealing, and god forbid you have to go without, that's a week of your life you'll be staring at the ceiling, unable to get out of bed, unable to eat, and coping with massive depression. I started "experimenting" with heroin when i was 18. I'm 25 now, have quit via rehab 3 times, kicked by myself 5 times, spent a fair amount of time clean from it, but keep falling back into it over and over again. in the last 7 years my longest stretch of clean time has been a year and a half. Something about this drug just flips a switch in your brain. Get addicted to it once, and it's over. It will be a constant struggle for the rest of your life. Just do yourself a favor and don't "experiment", and don't use this forum to try and validate what you know in your heart to be a bad decision. There are too many people on here that have struggled for too long to let the same happen to someone else if it can be at all avoided.

 

[nAON]

bdd -> OD

 

[TCMVegas]

Thank you for the helpful words everyone, I do now know in my heart that it's NOT a drug that's okay to play around with. I feel like I'm betraying your guys, but I just took it for the third time. Some of you have really heart-wrenching stories, that absolutely convince me I shouldn't do it any more. I can't believe I already sound like an addict, wanting to do it more despite the consequences.

Do you know what I think?

EVERYONE is addicted to heroin.
Most people just haven't tried it yet.


Seriously, this shit is way more addictive than amphetamines. It doesn't just make you productive, confident, energetic, and unstoppable. It's so much better than that.

First off, you pretty much don't feel high, these emotions feel genuine. It's like being 80 years old, looking back on a life of accomplishments and loving people, and being at peace with the world. It's like what you HOPE to get out of life. It is the feeling of now being able to die in peace.

And heroin is a MASSIVE FUCKING SHORTCUT to this state of being. And that's scary. Really, really, REALLY scary. Because I've discovered the shortcut.



Please, don't let this be the beginning of the end. I'm going to a great college, am almost 3 years in. My life is riding on being clean enough to function right now. I had to leave college in the past because I was addicted to amphetamines. I haven't done heroin many times yet, so don't have great perspective, but it's really truly a shortcut to the most wholesome fulfillment you'd ever expect to get........ The responsible choice is clear. But we're not rational beings. What if on some Friday night in 2 weeks I decide I'd like to score some H?

I'm only finishing my second $20 purchase of it, but know I'll want more. The question is when this stops.

Be warned people, I ignored people's warnings not to try it. I decided there's no harm in trying it as long as you don't get addicted. But as I said, you're already addicted to this feeling, you've just never been able to experience it so well until that first time on heroin.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Your thread title in it self is a bit of an oxymoron to me.. hah. The word "experimenting" and heroin don't usually go together in the same sentence.. at least not for very long. Will you be able to get away with using a few more times without becoming psychically dependent? (because I can tell from your posts that you're already psychologically addicted to it, whether you want to admit that or not) Yeah, probably... but what makes you think that is going to be the end of anything? If you think you're going to just be able to stop, call it a day, say you "experimented with dope" but are over it now.... you're kidding yourself. You're equally kidding yourself if you think your pattern of use isn't going to change in a big way. Hey, maybe you're the .1% of H users who can do it... if so, please write a book and tell us all how. I could sure use some tips

 

[hatrix]

Your thread title in it self is a bit of an oxymoron to me.. hah. The word "experimenting" and heroin don't usually go together in the same sentence.. at least not for very long. Will you be able to get away with using a few more times without becoming psychically dependent? (because I can tell from your posts that you're already psychologically addicted to it, whether you want to admit that or not) Yeah, probably... but what makes you think that is going to be the end of anything? If you think you're going to just be able to stop, call it a day, say you "experimented with dope" but are over it now.... you're kidding yourself. You're equally kidding yourself if you think your pattern of use isn't going to change in a big way. Hey, maybe you're the .1% of H users who can do it... if so, please write a book and tell us all how. I could sure use some tips

Well I am going to be one of those people who doesn't start using regularly. I've stated in another thread, my access to buying it is slim and takes a lot of time to get small amounts. I'm getting some today because I can, but it's only a single stamp and I have little to no tolerance.

I'll probably only ever buy a couple stamps because of how hard it is for me to source it. Not really having a source from something kind of prevents you from getting it over and over... I just want a new opiate and drug to try.

 

[twotoomany]

I got one last bag once. I spent the next 8 months driving to NYC (6hrs) for a few bundles a week. Be careful, and stop while its easy. I eventually kicked for years, only to recently get caught back up in pills. Opes will haunt you... Even after you think you SLAYED the dragon.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Well I am going to be one of those people who doesn't start using regularly. I've stated in another thread, my access to buying it is slim and takes a lot of time to get small amounts. I'm getting some today because I can, but it's only a single stamp and I have little to no tolerance.

I'll probably only ever buy a couple stamps because of how hard it is for me to source it. Not really having a source from something kind of prevents you from getting it over and over... I just want a new opiate and drug to try.

You may not have a good source at this very minute.... but that can easily change, especially if you're looking hard enough. Then what?

 

[Znegative]

Well, first off, I think you should check out The Beginners Guide to Heroin, there's a lot of good harm reduction advice for people who are new to smack/heroin.

Secondly, Its my Oppinion that while amphetamine and stimulant addiction is very serious (its always brought me down harder and faster than dope), its not as insidious as opiate addiction. Opiate addiction will sneak up on you and one day you'll realize 'fuck, I'm strung out'. The reason for this? Well I think you summed it up perfectly here:

But I bought some more BTH today, and snorted some of it. It felt nicer than amphetamines or anything of the like. Rather than "feeling good", it was like a deep contentment. It was what you hope to get out of life, satisfaction with the world. But it also felt subtle, like I was hardly even barely high.

In the begining heroin offers the illusion that its a drug that you can use and function perfectly on, and for many, you can for a certain period of time. However, the honey moon phase will end, and you'll find your world shrinking into a game of getting money, copping dope, and then getting back to a safe spot in time to fix up. Think about it man. Please.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

In the begining heroin offers the illusion that its a drug that you can use and function perfectly on, and for many, you can for a certain period of time. However, the honey moon phase will end, and you'll find your world shrinking into a game of getting money, copping dope, and then getting back to a safe spot in time to fix up. Think about it man. Please.

Yeah, for real. You get lulled into this false sense of being.. and you feel like you can keep it up and live your life like normal just with this subtle "boost". But like you said, that honey moon period ends quickly and it becomes a cycle of just money, cop, sick, money, cop, sick, etc. The benefits start to vanish.. your personality changes, the people you love want nothing to do with you, and all your left with is the numb, fake, and insidious world that is heroin.

 

[hatrix]

You may not have a good source at this very minute.... but that can easily change, especially if you're looking hard enough. Then what?

I did address that possibility in another heroin thread....

Of course that changes the likelihood for addiction, I know that. But the chances of me coming across a source.... I know they are very slim and I'm not actively searching. Where I live it's not like I can walk down the street and find someone on the sidewalk, as there isn't any sidewalk lol. It would very hard to find a source, I know of no one who would mess with heroin honestly.

 

[down508]

if you were addicted to weed you will get addicted to heroin if you keep doing it. that is a fact.