I dated a 40 year old when I was 27. It was a disaster in the end, but I loved the fact that he had his shit together and was so put together. I understand the older guy allure. It's attractive.
I unfortunately have no one to talk about with my dude issues, so sorry SLR. I have to unload in the social thread. Why can't these guys be spread out? Sheesh. I went 2 years with a dry spell and now I have a bunch. Definitely a good thing, but damn it's hard to decide. Also, it's increasing my sex drive, so if I don't have sex, I get pissed. I'm freakin horny every damn night wtf?
Tomorrow is Friday and I want to go out. Guy #1 has no money, so my only option is to go there, smoke weed and drive around and then deal with screaming kids and all the issues that come with a family that isn't mine. I pay all the time for us to go out, but I want to be taken out, so that leaves Guy #2 who is a maybe tomorrow night (he always wants to do something Friday). I think I'm gonna go out. Guy #1 is gonna be pissed, but I think I'm just gonna lay it out on him and tell him I want to go out and not sit and be a stoner all night. Sitting around smoking weed has no appeal to me whatsoever. Guy #1 is super sweet though and I love how attentive he is to me. He will do anything I ask him to do, but he's a stoner and his life revolves around weed. That would be OK if it wasn't for the fact that he has kids and no money but he always finds a way to spend what he has on weed. Meh. He's a drug addict even though he gets pissed as shit at me when I tell him he's addicted to weed and no different than some heroin addict.
He'll be pissed at me and I'll get a lot of drama, but I'm to the point I don't care. I don't think he'll break it off with me, but Guy #2 has made me realize that going home to screaming kids and all the baggage that goes along with a family that isn't mine is draining me. I want to go out and have fun. Although Guy #2 is definitely not a permanent or even serious thing, Guy #1 is not showing any signs of getting out of his rut. I'm not sure I want to wait around much longer. I'll be sad if he breaks it off, but I'm kinda sick of all the baggage. It wouldn't be so bad if he could go out and we could at least have a date night once a week, but he'd rather spend what he has on weed and sit around and smoke weed, and that's such a turnoff to me. I basically told him last week that I'm sick of it and I'm going home (was staying with him mostly) and he agreed not to go out late. He's kept to that promise, but I know it's an issue when I think to myself that if he said "Fuck you for going out...I'm done" I don't think I would care that much. It might even be a relief.
Fuck me..it's getting to the point where I need to decide, but I really want to mush them together to make one awesome dude who has money and is a lot of fun but super attentive to my needs. :D
and yeah, looking back 34 was waaay too old for me. It just felt awkward being with him, I eventually broke it off because I was uncomfortable with the idea of people in the street possibly thinking I was his daughter, for instance...I'd like to find someone in their mid-20s though maybe, I usually get along much better with people around there than those my age ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
