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SLR Social vs. Hello Nurse

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rangrz said:
Whatever. This whole situation is bullshit. This guy assaulted me for no reason which would one could raise a legitimate defense to in court. I don't think it's all that cool for her to go hanging around with this guy. (Not just cause he's her ex, his record is quite disturbing.)
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I ain't going to sue to him. My point on the "defense in court" was merely his attack was unjustified and therefore I am not going to be taking the blame for it, I'm going to keep insisting it was his fuck-up.
 
It was MY fuck up. I have been telling you this all along. If you want to resent someone for that event, it should be me. I started it, you responded by seemingly fighting back which triggered an instinctual response (my friend is a trained martial artist, he was also up for 48 hours and feeling tired and sketchy. Not drunk though). He made the wrong call by head-locking you and even admitted that and said he was sorry, but he didn't intend to do you any harm, just to prevent you from doing harm to me.
I do actually believe that if he thought I was really hurting you by slapping you he would have stepped in to protect you too.
 
I'm going to keep resenting him for it. I'm probably also going to not just walk away should there be a future incident. (Hopefully there won't be, but if there is, I'm going to treat it the same way i would if I was on duty and he was some punk.)

SLR: You guys took sides with a n00b over a long time veteran of the site. I am disappoint...
 
I don't normally agree with violence but there are those justifiable times.

When I was 17 I dated this drug addict loser. I had 2 male friends who hated the guy and rightfully so. I was dumb. Anyway he never hit me but he was verbally abusive and the drugs started to make him more pushy and physical. One day we were arguing and he pushed me into a chair. My one male friend went into a rage and beat the shit out of him. Cops were called and all that fun stuff. At that point I broke up with the guy because it all just made me realize he hadn't hit me *yet* but he was going down that road. Had my friend not stepped in I might have had the shit beaten out if me one day. Had he not stepped in perhaps after being pushed I would have been hit. I don't know but I'm thankful the guy stepped in.
 
Double post sorry...venting...

Boy #2 is driving me crazy with moodiness. This isn't the first time he's gotten moody. I think he feels guilty dumping his girl. lol But really, I dunno WTF he expects me to do about it (ok, aside from having sex with him). He told me she is nice, but he sees her like a sister and he wants to..ahem I quote... "Fuck the shit out of me and destroy me." LOL She asked him out and he said no to hang with me, and I cancelled (this was last week before moody hit)...whoops, I felt bad about that. He's fun when he's in a good mood, but damn when the moody guilty/depressed feelings take over, I want to tell him to give me a call when he figures shit out. I asked him if I said something that pissed him off after we hung out, and he said no. Meh. Something is up, but oh well whatever.

Good lord... if he doesn't cut it out, I'ma have to stop going out with him at all. Jesus.

Sorry, just venting a bit before I tell him to snap out of it or go back to the boring nice girl. I seriously think he has a mood disorder or something. He was like a kid and having such a good time when we went out, and now he's all depressed. This is like the 3rd time it's happened.

Now, if he does what he usually does, I will back off, leave him alone and do my thing, and in a day or two he will ask me why I'm mad at him. :\ Last week it was "why didn't you text message me to go out?"

Driving me nuts I tell ya. If I didn't like him in the first place, I would have told him to fuck off by now.

ETA: He hates his job too, and I get that the place we work is a joke, but jeez either find a new gig or take advantage of their fuckupetry.

(I'm gonna come back and read this in a week and see if it's a continuous cycle)
 
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akautonomics said:
It was MY fuck up. I have been telling you this all along. If you want to resent someone for that event, it should be me. I started it, you responded by seemingly fighting back which triggered an instinctual response (my friend is a trained martial artist, he was also up for 48 hours and feeling tired and sketchy. Not drunk though). He made the wrong call by head-locking you and even admitted that and said he was sorry, but he didn't intend to do you any harm, just to prevent you from doing harm to me.
I do actually believe that if he thought I was really hurting you by slapping you he would have stepped in to protect you too.
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I respect that you have taken responsibility for your actions. I hope that you and Rangrz are able to move forward. As someone said above, somebody's gotta love the guy. ;) It might be a good thing to stay a bit more sober if you plan to continue to hang out with this guy, and to make it clear that you are engaged to someone you love so there will be no more hooking up.

(Pics of ring pls? :))

I've had problems in previous relationships because I remain very close friends with 2 of my exes. One guy I dated quite seriously last year told me that he couldn't be with a woman that had as many male friends as I do and that I would have to stop seeing them if I was going to be with him. Didn't happen! Another I thought about getting serious with pretty much said outright that I'm a slut because I have had several relationships. I don't equate serial monogamy or past FWB-type things with being promiscuous, and this guy was a bit of a hypocrite as he has 2 children he does not see or support, with 2 different women. Classy.

My exes who are now my friends would love for me to meet a nice guy who can understand that I have male friends and they're not going away. Hell, the two of them are neighbors and hang out even when I'm not there - they've got a nice bromance going! And yes, one is recycled ex that I occasionally sleep with. We're both single adults, there's no drama. If one of us got serious about someone, we'd stop.

I guess it would be just awesome if I could stop the serial monogamy pattern and settle down with an amazing guy. Meeting new people is so nerve-wracking, but I won't know unless I do some more shopping around. *shrugs*
 
^ lol gotta love the hypocrites who judge a female with her shit together and free with no kids.

I'm finding it happens a lot in my 30s. Men with kids no job and so much baggage they are miserable say I need to grow up because I do what I want. As far as I am concerned, I'm a productive member of society who pays her taxes, never got arrested and mooches off of no one and made great choices in my 20s so now I can fuck off. Not my problem that these guys got chicks pregnant and fucked off in their 20s and now they are stuck. Not my problem or my fault.

I refuse to feel bad because I was responsible when I was younger.
 
We came up with an arrangement for me to not hang out with my friend unless rangrz is invited. (The plans that we have made before this agreement notwithstanding.) Thank you everyone for offering your counsel. Mariposa; there isn't a ring because I proposed him at arbitrarily unexpected time.
 
Lysis said:
^ lol gotta love the hypocrites who judge a female with her shit together and free with no kids.

I'm finding it happens a lot in my 30s. Men with kids no job and so much baggage they are miserable say I need to grow up because I do what I want. As far as I am concerned, I'm a productive member of society who pays her taxes, never got arrested and mooches off of no one and made great choices in my 20s so now I can fuck off. Not my problem that these guys got chicks pregnant and fucked off in their 20s and now they are stuck. Not my problem or my fault.

I refuse to feel bad because I was responsible when I was younger.
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why couldn't I have found you when I was younger :( my life probably wouldn't have went to the Shitter as it did lol.
 
Ugh Lysis, that's annoying - hopefully he'll chill down a bit or otherwise start annoying you so much you won't have any second thoughts about dumping him left haha.
 
+1 on the "single early 30s childless female" conundrum. I had hoped that one of the relationships I had in my 20s would have worked out, but that was not to be.

Probably the worst is the attention I get from guys who are old enough to be my dad. I don't care if you have money and nice shit. I have no interest in being your midlife crisis girl or people thinking I am your trophy (like Lysis, I still look like I am in my 20s). I know what the divorce rate is for people that married in their early 20s. Two of my mid-20s cousins are going through heartbreaking divorces with young children. I still have plenty of time to meet the right guy without jumping in or settling.
 
Mariposa said:
Probably the worst is the attention I get from guys who are old enough to be my dad.
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Yep. This summer I went out with a 34 year old - I'm 19 now, 18 at the time. I was actually ridiculously into him (hottest dude ever) but when I look back on it it's rather weird on his part, I'd never do that again. It didn't work for more than a few weeks either, for obvious reasons. I can just imagine introducing him to my parents lol
 
i've been having lunch with a guy i met on an airplane a few weeks ago. i am greatly amused by his online dating stories, he has had some shitty luck with girls. he found out that one girl he was going to meet up with had a felony robbery charge, apparently she robbed her previous guy at gun point!
 
I can see how you'd be attracted to an older guy, Pagey, you come across as a very mature woman with her shit together. Maybe 34 is a bit excessive, though. I dated a guy in his early 30s when I was 21-23. I wouldn't be likely to date a 21 year old now that I am 32. I have friends who are much older and much older, but for dating, I'd like to keep it within 3-4 years either direction with older being the default.

My last serious relationship was last spring. I was and am 32, he was and is 38. I had the better job/education/higher earning power/less of a drug habit. Freeloaders come in all ages. His mother is a kept woman; her 'sugarplum' (who's too vested in his marriage to pay for a divorce, in addition to being a scumbag) bought her a house, a car, pays for her insurance, and now that I'm not there to pay the rent anymore, the sugar daddy has to feed another VERY greedy mouth.

My last attempt at a serious relationship was with someone who just had everything all wrong and wanted to get too serious too quickly out of loneliness on his part. I got genuinely freaked out.

I am insisting on equity in any relationship I have going forward. I don't want power struggles or to be scared away, I'd really just like to get to know a nice guy slowly but surely, and we can happily split the cost of our dates. :)

Pagey - a_c is a married woman. The guy she met is a friend. :)
 
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