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Sending the right message on a date

M

_mistresspoppy_

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 23, 2010
Messages
169
So I was recently asked on a date (a real date, not just a come-over-and-blow-me date, as usual) by a new, sweet guy. I want to let him know that I'm interested and Im comfortable with intimacy (ie sex) but I don't want to come across as a whore. I want him to feel like he can move as fast as he wants to and
I won't be offended (hes extremely gentlemanly and respectful), but I don't want to turn him off by being too sexual. So what subtle, classy signals can a girl send that indicate "you can do whatever you want to me and I'll love it".
Also, laced up corset top with extreme cleavage and skirt, or skintight short dress without cleavage?
 
kaywholed said:
don't be subtle. men are stupid. tell him what you want.
Click to expand...
pretty much dead on.
id consider myself the gentlemanly kinda guy. when you kiss (and I'm sure you will) put Passion into it, lots of "love" and feelings so it doesn't feel like "just sex". for me, a girl put her arms around me and kissed me, gently hinting by unbuttoning my shirt, basically progress it slow but keep him interested by progressively getting to the sex if you want it. when this girl did this to me I did not view her as a whore, I just thought she was really into me. I ended up falling in love with this girl and was engaged to marry her shortly after. we are no longer together though.
 
Be flirtatious. Smile. It's all in the body language. If you want to throw some ambiguous sexual comments that aren't too crass, then that gets the point across too. You don't have to be all "let's have sex," but you can be sexy and flirtatious to the point where it's obvious you're interested.
 
Laugh a lot, sit/stand close to him, and yeah in general just be a bit flirtatious and stuff!
And I would go with the dress.
 
_mistresspoppy_ said:
I don't want to come across as a whore. I want him to feel like he can move as fast as he wants to and
I won't be offended. So what subtle, classy signals can a girl send that indicate "you can do whatever you want to me and I'll love it".
Also, laced up corset top with extreme cleavage and skirt, or skintight short dress without cleavage?
Click to expand...

I'm getting mixed signals here. Are you saying that you want him to throw you down and ravish you, while you play the coy maiden?
 
^hahaha
kaywholed said:
don't be subtle. men are stupid. tell him what you want.
Click to expand...

Totally agree...

You know how the assholes who hit on you, or pick you will know after one smile whether you're interested, whereas the people who take 3 smiles to pluck up the courage to talk to are usually the keepers? Same situation mistress - if you want something, ask for it, even if you're not directly telling him what you want, make sure you just offer up words that make him see what you're open to, not gestures/ways of dressing(unless you comeout the bathroom wearing no clothes - I've had a woman do that before - it was fucking hot, as I knew where I stood without having to think about it anymore!)

Or just sit on his lap - had that one once when I wasnn't sure if a girl liked me, back in the early days.

Alternatively just tell him "I'd really like you to fuck me now" if the atmosphere get to the point where it can be cut with a knife...
 
Just be yourself. If he gets turned off by it, find someone else.
 
Illyria-
I would very much like him to throw me down and ravish me, but i don't want to come across as cheap or whorish. I want him to know were moving as fast or as slow as he wants. I'm literally not sure if he's even going to attempt to kiss me without sufficient prompting- when we see eachother at work he refrains from any sensual touching- he chest bumps me instead.
 
What you are asking is probably one of the toughest concepts in a new relationship and that is how to escalate. It's something I have long struggled with both because I'm chickenshit of rejection (like most guys) and because I'm usually waiting for the right signals while unfairly giving very few of my own, which is the traditional chickenshit gentleman's role.

In my view, men make the move but women signal the progression. They have the hard job because it's really up to them to decide how things go. It's just less rapey that way.

At the same time I admit that I like and respect a girl more who makes me work for it. It shows me that she values me boyond just another swinging dick, and that she herself has a discriminating taste. This works on several different levels and it is the key to keeping a man's interest.
 
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