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couldn't figure out how to move past 'getting to know one another as friends'

kaywholed

kaywholed

Ex-Bluelighter
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So I met this girl a few weeks ago, and we spent a few hours together. Since then, we have spoken a few times, and texted a shitload.

I invited her out to dinner but instead she had me over to her home this weekend, and we sat on the couch and chatted for a few hours in the evening, then I went home.

Last night I asked why she was so shy, because it seemed like she was avoiding looking near me. She said she didn't realize she was doing that.

I failed to see any opportunity to get closer to her, or prompt her to start to engage me. I think we both like one another, but still can't figure out how to hug or kiss her. :(

I shared with her how I feel that some people just learned how to communicate with computers better than IRL. Text time I am going to meet her, can I start the 'physical' interaction via text? eg. 'I could really use a hug' or something.
 
I also had this dillemma when I first met my girlfriend. We slept in the same bed after getting drunk and didn't even make a move. The best way to start is by going to the cinema or something like that, have a cuddle in the cinema. If you don't see a point in the 'date' where you can make a move, the 'goodbye' always work. A kiss when you/she leaves, might even get invited back to hers for more :)
 
I wouldn't suggest bringing it up by text. I think it's already a good sign she invited you over to her place though. As StrutterGear suggested, cinemas can always be a good place to make a first move. Also if you just watch a movie at her place or yours - that way it's even more intimate. Going out for drinks also usually makes physical contact easier. It sounds like she could definitely be interested. Good luck!
 
Don't text anything like that...I really feel that would be a bad move, and I can't say why.

I would research body language if you're analytical, or if you're practical, just hang out and brush the hair out of her face and kiss her the first opportunity you get.

You will get your answer very quick the second way, and you will get it fairly quickly if you can notice clusters of "attracted" body language the first way, but you really have to know which things to look for - if you notice in the space of 5 minutes, a hair toss, a cocked head with a sideways glance, a hearty laugh, leading to her uncrossing her legs, and crossing them again so her foot/feet pointing towards you, then starts stroking her inner thigh/chest above her breast/neck, then make a move! She is very much into you...

I'm personally analytical, but you might not be, hence why I put 2 easy methods...however, the fact that you're asking this question in such a way suggests to me that you might well be.

To be fair - the only way to get what you want, is for one of you to make a move. If you really want the next level, but are not sure if she is - take the initiative yourself
 
When your with her U gotta attempt to kiss her.
Thats the best way to get your answer. Give her a hug and then look into her eyes and just kiss her.

Making the first move will get your answer and show her that your bold enough/confident enough to kiss her. DONT ASK TO KISS HER!!!!!!!!
 
first time we met, she tossed out the hand for a handshake(only time we have touched), and it threw me off. second time, I was thinking hug and say hi, but I was super nervous (almost panic attack while I knocked on her door) and just failed to do anything. I know how to great business associates, strangers and family and friends, but never learned how to great people you want to be friends and have sexy times with.

In terms of body language I read nothing off her, other than her inclination to look away from me, which I later commented to her and she said she didn't realize she was doing that. She is basically the body language equivalent of me... very good poker player. I make a conscious effort to smile.

How is the cinema a good place to initiate physical contact? I think both of us would be more comfortable at home watching something on netflix. Veggie snacks and bowls ftw. So if we are sitting on a couch (opposite ends) do I wait for her to move, move myself, or tell her to come closer?

"I think it's already a good sign she invited you over to her place though."
Really? Does that mean I blew it by not being forward?

She said she rarely drinks (dunno why?) and I try to avoid it because it makes me want to kill myself. I don't think this would work for either of us.
 
Do you really think she's shy or was that just a way to ask her what's up?

I honestly don't think the movies are a great place to initiate contact. It's weird and you're stuck there for hours. I've only felt comfortable with that when I'm with an old flame or someone I know.

I agree with not asking to kiss her, but that can backfire if not done right. I think some kind of flirting is needed to see how she reacts. If she reacts either shy or positive to it, then I would go for it. If she leaves or avoids the flirting then I'd stop.

I think it's a good sign she invited you over. There is no way a girl would invite a dude she doesn't like over.

You gotta read that body language. It's all in the body language. I had a guy do this with me -- came over to hang. Did hookah and chilled. Then, he kinda just sat really close to me on the couch and we watched TV while doing hookah. Nothing sexual or cuddly...just was close enough to touch me. If I didn't like it, I would have moved, but I did like it and from there we got to just bullshitting and he said "I want to kiss you," so I kissed him.
 
kaywholed said:
first time we met, she tossed out the hand for a handshake(only time we have touched), and it threw me off. second time, I was thinking hug and say hi, but I was super nervous (almost panic attack while I knocked on her door) and just failed to do anything. I know how to great business associates, strangers and family and friends, but never learned how to great people you want to be friends and have sexy times with.

In terms of body language I read nothing off her, other than her inclination to look away from me, which I later commented to her and she said she didn't realize she was doing that. She is basically the body language equivalent of me... very good poker player. I make a conscious effort to smile.

How is the cinema a good place to initiate physical contact? I think both of us would be more comfortable at home watching something on netflix. Veggie snacks and bowls ftw. So if we are sitting on a couch (opposite ends) do I wait for her to move, move myself, or tell her to come closer?

"I think it's already a good sign she invited you over to her place though."
Really? Does that mean I blew it by not being forward?

She said she rarely drinks (dunno why?) and I try to avoid it because it makes me want to kill myself. I don't think this would work for either of us.
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Fuck the cinema then geez if she asks you round to hers for a film or she comes to yours that means she's game. Then there's no worrying about "will she, wont she?"
Once the films on just ask her to "come over here" for a cuddle, and go from there. Once the cuddle is initiated, then the rest is easy. Let your natural instincts kick in.

She sounds like she likes you man. Good luck
 
Lysis said:
Do you really think she's shy or was that just a way to ask her what's up?
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I think she is shy, and self conscious about her body (she is beautiful, but not slender). I have subtlety intimated that she is pretty twice although not in person cause im shy and dumb as shit and can't fit it into conversation.
 
Next time you hang out, get closer, and closer, and closer.

Sounds corny, but you'll find out right away how much she digs (or doesn't dig) your proximity. Then go from there.
 
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