• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

How "different" is too "different?"

Tude

Tude

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 20, 2011
Messages
11,204
I've heard that "opposites attract," but I've also heard there's gotta be things in common between two people for a relationship to thrive. In your experience, which is better?
 
I really don't give a shit what the other person is into as long as they're interesting to me. This girl I'm seeing right now is older than me by a double digit margin, tatted, parents divorced, played in a punk band and can't name any rappers or athletes. I'm pretty clean-cut, parents still together, played sports through high school and I listen almost exclusively to hip-hop. Seems like a mismatch, but she's interesting to me, gets my sense of humor and she's hot. That's pretty much all I need (ok, that's a lie, all I need is for her to be hot, but the other stuff means she's more than just a couple of wet holes to me).

Granted, I'm not serious with this chick, but if I ever was serious with someone it would have to be with someone who likes different stuff than me. It would just be weird if I was with a girl who liked James Bond movies and 2 Chainz as much as I do.
 
I really don't understand that expression. In my experiences, opposites absolutely do not attract each other, quite the contray. I mean if I meet someone and we've got nothing in common then there's just gonna be awkward silence upon awkward silence...whereas if I connect with someone immediately and have a ton of stuff in common with them I'm going to be much more inclined to want to see them a lot. One of my exes and I got together when we listened to the same type of music, were both interested in medecine, both played the same video games, did the same things on the week-ends etc etc and it went great until his tastes completely changed and we didn't have any more common ground - and that's when things started going downhill because we didn't have anything more to say to each other and we eventually broke up.

Same with the guy I've been into the past few months, he's a massive Led Zep fan and we're both neuroscience nerds and I know that's why I'm into him so much.
 
Hmm depends. I've only been able to connect with other IT people because I need to be able to talk to them at my level. I hate sports but that's where I kinda like the difference because while he is doing sports stuff I can do my thing by myself and I need my separation and alone time.

Don't get me wrong I've dated some really smart guys like attorneys but I love it when some IT guy gives me shit because I am a windows developer and he's some Linux hacker. Lol I can respect that. And for me, my base requirement for me to lift my skirt and drop my panties is that I have to respect him or he won't get anywhere with me.
 
i think the expression opposites attract is misleading. Same with, you need to have things in common with a person. I've wondered the same thing, someone completely opposite to me just would not work and someone completely like me would end in disaster. I think in general, personalities should complement each other so that each person is introduced to different things but still have some common ground on which to relate. Even then, there are still couples that seem completely opposite and have relationships, i'm not sure how someone who is a heroin addict would get along with someone who is opposed to drugs though.
 
I've only dated girls if we shared interests. It would be awkward for me to be with someone if we had nothing or very little in common. I'm not saying everything, but enough of the right things.
 
Yeah, I don't get the whole "opposites attract" thing. I mean - it's good to not be identical. That would not work out. But to be completely opposite wouldn't either. You've got to have some similarities and some differences. At least that's what I need in a relationship.
 
I think people are taking "opposites attract" too literally. If I was to truly date a girl the opposite of me, she would be a homeless crackhead with AIDS and an IQ of 12.
 
it depends what you mean by opposites.

Opposites in interest, passion, ideas and everything involved with ego - very bad combination.

Opposites in your innate characters, and how you deal with the world, can be a very good match IF you are prepared for a challenge. Once you work through your differences, not letting them get in your way, then you can help each other with your weaknesses - making an unstoppable team - both taking each other's advice before making decisions - well balanced.

It's most harmonious to find someone who is as like you, in ways of dealing with things and interests etc, but if you currently need someone who is going to make you grow as a person, and maybe see another way of dealing with things occasionally, then opposites can be very good too.

How is this new person in your life different from you, or your "opposite"? We're all unique.
 
Last edited:
Thanks everyone from your input so far! Great advice.

Pagey, I'm not a massive Led Zeppelin fan, but I freak out every time "Dancing Days" comes on the radio at work.

Lysis, I agree with the whole respect thing you were talking about. However, I rarely get to the point I respect anybody, so it'll be a while before (if) I get involved with anyone.

Effusion, would the fact they like James Bond as much as you get boring? I don't get why that would be weird.

RobotRipping, same thing. Someone too similar would be boring?

Pofacedhoe, at least you've got it narrowed down lol!

The Warden, I agree. I don't see how someone completely different would be a good match.

Llama112, I don't get the expression, either. But most of y'all have pretty much said there has to be a balance.

B1tO' RoughJack, I don't have anyone new in my life. I know I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now. At 22 years of age, I'm still not interested in being in one right now.
 
Last edited:
im a complete fuck up, do bad things, have a disregard for authority and everything/everyone around me. i swear a lot, i drink, and i like to fight.

in a short term fling, that may be hot to see a girl with some of those "Bad" qualities

if i want a long term, i need the exact opposite of what ive described. She keeps me grounded, while i help her to live.
now thats just my ideal, cant expect it to work out that perfect haha..But thats my idea. i believe opposites do attract extremely. You fill in each others weaknesses.

Now obviously, everyone has at least one thing in common, but the majority, i want the main things to be different.
 
I don't really get the way the expression is worded. Black and white are opposites. Day and night are opposites. A person being very different from you doesn't make them your opposite, it just means you have different qualities.

We have to be able to connect in all the important ways, but I like them to be different enough from me that we can always learn new things from one another... otherwise it gets boring fast.
 
I always fall for quiet, mysterious types. Definitely not the qualities I posess.
 
I feel as if having things in common is super important. I'm currently In a relationship where we are total opposites I mean honestly we don't even have friends in common and our tastes are just different we live together and can't agree on how to arrange the furniture. I don't know about her but I don't feel connected to her at all honestly I stick around because I love her at 1st we had a lot to talk about because we were getting to know each other but now I tune he out when she talks because its never interesting just annoying I do know when I get out of this miserable relationship I will only b looking for someone who is somewhat like me
 
rangrz said:
opposites do attract, and then they annihilate, preserving charge and mass of course.
Click to expand...

lol

as for two people being alike not working; it's not so much that it's boring but it's destructive. If i were with another addict we would spiral downwards, but at the same time you need someone who can empathize with you and look out for your best interests.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top