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Please help me sleep with this girl!!

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breakeven60k

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Dec 9, 2010
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I started talking to this girl online from a depression forum. She lives across the country but i can fly to her for free. I need help on this!!

We texted a lot over the past couple days. In the end, she said she would like to go on a date with me when i asked her, but she doesn't want a boyfriend. She also said she hates guys using her for sex, and she feels slutty. We talked about sex and she told me a little about what she likes and doesn't like. We both exchanged blurry pics of each other, and she also agreed to actually talk on the phone with me if I wanted to but i'm scared to.

she talks herself down and says stuff like i deserve a nice girl instead of a dirty slut like her, and she doesn't know why i like her so much but she's really glad i do. I asked her if she would date me and she said "yeah why not? is there something wrong with you?" which is kind of disheartening, because there probably is something wrong with me, im awkward and shy and a loser.

She asked what i want to do if i come down to visit, and i said we could just walk around and get food and she could show me around. she said that sounds good... how am i supposed to escalate that into sex?

I really want her, and not just for sex. I want to connect with her emotionally too. But if i'm going to fly down from across the country, i really want to make it count and have sex with her... do I have a shot with her, and if so, how can i make it happen?
 
Put it off for a few months, and see if the interest holds on both ends. Otherwise, my spidey-senses tell me disaster is in store--for one.
 
Go have a wank you horney bugger. What are you so focused on the sex? Just get to know her better and the rest will come naturally.
 
So fucken what? If your only thinking about the sex you have zero chance of getting laid.
 
im not just thinking about sex, but i do want sex to happen. It's not the ONLY thing on my mind, i want to enjoy her company too. but is it so wrong to want to maximize my chances of getting sex? i really like her. i just want to make love to her and make her feel good. i think i might love her to be honest.
 
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BE60 how old are you? You sound immature I'm sorry to say and the honest truth is you ARE the same as the guys that have just used her for sex!
She's on a forum about depression, clearly has low self worth and esteem... Yet you just wanna go and fuck her?
Grow up! Your the reason guys get a bad name and girls won't trust genuinely good guys!
How would you feel if she self harmed or worse because the only guy she trusted n believed in just wanted her for sex, same as all the others!?
I'm disappointed to be male sometimes! Jheez!
 
My take on it, for what it's worth,

This girl is definitely DTF!! It's kind of like, she's hinting at it by saying she's "been used by guys" and that, "you deserve better than a slut..." etc. I don't think she just wants to be used either, but I think you can have the best of both worlds as long as you're honest about your intentions and don't treat her like a dick and just never call her again!...

When I was younger I used to be uncomfortable about being sexually honest with women and it just made it awkward...If I want to "just be friends" with a girl but still have sex with her, I'll just tell her that...If there's something more than that, I'll be honest about that(without being a complete sap, hopefully)...There's plenty of girls out there that wanna get laid too! Don't doubt it for a second!

The worst thing you can do is act like you want to be in a commited relationship when you don't just to get laid...Just go hang out with her and see what happens...Be open to whatever, relax, be yourself...that's all you can ever really do, IMO.
 
Belisarius said:
Put it off for a few months, and see if the interest holds on both ends. Otherwise, my spidey-senses tell me disaster is in store--for one.
Click to expand...

I agree with this quoted post, and with Dave82's posts, and AminoAcid's pic made me laugh and yeah what if she's not who she says she is?
 
so she really is DTF? i mean, she kept telling me she wishes she could find a guy who wants to go down on her and she hates guys who make her do anal. But when I tell her I like going down on girls and i hate making girls do things they don't want to do, she doesn't say something like she wants to sleep with me. I'm scared she won't want to sleep with me because she doesn't want to feel slutty. or what if she doesn't like me?

and i don't want to just go over there to fuck her. i want to make love to her, and just be really really romantic and loving to her and treat her right.
 
She's not gonna come right and say it, most likely!...But, if a girl says to me, "I'm really good a giving blowjobs and I like doing it, I just don't like it when that's all a guy wants from me", I definitely take notice! Why would she bring that up? lol

It does sound like she has low self-esteem and has allowed herself to be used by guys in the past, and maybe she feels like the only way to get guys to like her is to be a slut. It seems like she's super prone to abusive relationships, being used etc.

But I wouldn't play the nice guy too much either, or you're gonna just end up emasculating yourself and becoming a shoulder to cry on. You seem like a truly nice, caring person, and this girl, for whatever reason(abuse?) doesn't seem to gravitate towards guys like you! Just be yourself and feel the situation out, but don't be a complete pussy about it!

Could you easily bang this girl? From what you're saying, absolutely! But it seems like you actually like her...IDK, man, it's a tough call....This girl may not be able to handle a guy actually treating her well...

Just using women for sex by leading them on and lying to them is unecessary IMO....A lot of girls will respect your honesty and directness, and it turns a lot of girls on if you just come right out and say you wanna have sex(not in those words most likely). It takes balls to do it though! It all depends what you want out of it....Sex and love don't have to go together, but honesty and respect are always important, IMO...

But if you're gonna go there and just wait for this girl to spell out what she wants, good luck trying to get a girl to do that!
 
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omg i sent her a way better quality pic of me and she said "you're so cute *blushes*" ........

i mean... does this mean im in for sure... or are there uncertainties?

she offered to talk to me on the phone but i said im not ready yet im too shy
 
promise im not :/. my life really is this pathetic.. this is the first girl thats shown interest in dating me in my whole life.
 
breakeven60k said:
so she really is DTF? i mean, she kept telling me she wishes she could find a guy who wants to go down on her and she hates guys who make her do anal. But when I tell her I like going down on girls and i hate making girls do things they don't want to do, she doesn't say something like she wants to sleep with me. I'm scared she won't want to sleep with me because she doesn't want to feel slutty. or what if she doesn't like me?

and i don't want to just go over there to fuck her. i want to make love to her, and just be really really romantic and loving to her and treat her right.
Click to expand...

Fuck that girl.
 
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