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My girlfriend slept (as in sleeping) in bed with another guy

laurenslv

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 1, 2012
Messages
60
Hi bl

First some background information maybe. I'm in highschool and my girlfriend's in college in a different city. She sleeps there in some sort of dorm/appartment from monday to friday. Her best friend (girl) sleeps in the room across her. We've been together for almost 8 months.

So, thursday we went to a birthday party of her nephew's and we were waiting for the train to go to her city to go to a party and to then sleep in her bed at her dorm. She was telling some story about her going out tuesday. She said tuesday was the first time ever that she didn't know a part of the night (for like half an hour, while she was at the party) because she was drunk. She then told me that she let some guy sleep at her place. I said 'haha, he slept on the floor right'. 'Uhh no, he slept in my bed...'
I was then pissed off and didn't say anything for like 20 minutes and she was like 'talk to me honey' blabla. Apparantly she had talked a lot to him that night and he had no place to stay so she offered him to sleep at her place. Luckily she has a bed for 2 persons so there's plenty of room for them not to 'touch' eachother. She said she slept with all her clothes on though. I asked her why she didn't let him sleep in her friend's bed across the hall but she said she only has a 1-person bed.

I was pissed off because
1) they slept in the same bed.
2) they were drunk (atleast she was...)
3) that guy's brother was hitting on her before. She knows I don't like his brother because there was this time that he was always looking for trouble with some of my friends. And ofcourse trying to get with my girlfriend
4) she didn't know him before that night. I mean come on, he's a fucking stranger. He could've raped her or something..
5) hes italitan and you know how some italians can be (no offense lol)

After talking to her about it for a bit I just decided to let it go and we haven't mentioned it since.
I told some friends about it now and they told me they'd be waay more pissed off than I am so i'm starting to think about it again and thinking that there might be the possibility that she cheated on me. I don't think she cheated on me though cause I know she's super in love with me, but still.. I guess I should trust her but IDK.
Opinions? idk BL :(
 
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Do you trust your girlfriend?
I don't think she cheated on you. Why? First, she told you what happened. If she was trying to hide something, she wouldn't have told you anything.
I don't understand why being Italian has anything to do with anything though ....
Yeah, it's a bit weird, but things happen. I have slept in the same bed as male friends before. Maybe not a random guy I just met but if he had no place to sleep then I'd probably feel bad for him.
 
The part about it being her first black out, aka "not remembering part of the night" and the fact that homeboy slept in the same bed is very interesting.

Personally I don't trust people until they've given me a reason to, and there is a difference between feelings and trust.

Do you trust her?
 
^As he said, is there any reason for you not to trust her? It really is possible they were just sleeping, I've slept in the same bed as guys before without anything happening...and as was mentioned, the fact that she told you and apparently didn't understand your reaction do suggest she's 'innocent' as far as cheating on you goes.
To be fair though, I do understand why it's bothering you. I wouldn't appreciate it either.
 
high school/college dynamic. a magic 8 ball could help, perhaps.
i've slept in the same bed as a guy while drunk and nothing happened, but with alcohol involved and her living in a dorm and the difference in lifestyles i'm guessing she's going to find herself in similar types of situations again. trust is going to be important on your part and hopefully she is just honest with you.
 
^True. I'm living in a dorm right now and this type of stuff happens very often so you'll have to get used to it :/
 
I don't think anything happened. She wouldn't be so eager to tell you otherwise. What's troubling is the fact she got so drunk to the point of blacking out. I understand in college it's a rite of passage and all that shit but who's to say the next guy won't take advantage of her in that state.
 
TBH I didn't really start thinking about it too much until I talked to some people and they made me kind of paranoid. And no I don't really have a reason to not trust her cause it's the first time that this has happened. Oh and she also told me she felt bad for him to tell him to sleep on the floor. To be honest it's more the fact that she was drunk and didn't know him well, maybe paranoid of me to think that he would have wrong intentions but maybe a bit naïve on her part. Not the first time that someone would take advantage of a drunk/passed out girl. Thanks for the reactions everyone. I think I just got myself a bit worked up because of talking to some of my friends about it. I just love that girl. She's so sweet. I do trust her actually, I just don't trust him. I've also been fucked over a few times and I find it hard to trust people.
@rangrz: You're true, I do sound a bit untrustful and insecure. Apparantly I'm more jealous than I thought I'd be.
 
I've shared a bed with quite a number of females without anything happening. I've shared beds with guys but that doesn't make me gay. I understand your concern though as the bed is often viewed as an intimate zone reserved for "intimate" behavior. just be vigilant and see if she seems off or distressed as usually unfaithfulness is pretty easy to detect.
 
Would not like that at allllllll if I was you, so I don't blame you for being upset. Separate beds/rooms? OK. Same bed? The dude would have some 'splainin to do. In my eyes, it's completely disrespectful.

I wonder how she would like it if you had some girl sleeping in your bed? I bet she wouldn't be so dismissive if the roles were reversed.
 
^this Man, I'm sorry this is really none of my business, but, something seems kind of strange about the whole thing. The way she mentioned that she "blacked out for a half hour"...Call me posessive but if my girlfriend, that I was supposedly in an exclusive relationship with told me she let another dude sleep in her bed with her?! I'd be pissed! When I was 17 my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years banged some dude behind my back and didn't tell me, she just broke up with me and I found out later. I have no idea how long it went on...

Don't go crazy and let it eat you up inside or do anything stupid. Acting like a maniac always makes you seem like the bad guy. But, if it were me, I'd look her dead in the eye and say, "Did anything happen between you and "Vinny"? If you have anything to say, say it now because if I find out later, you're done!"....Sorry to be the lone voice of dissent in this thread, but come on!! I'd at least want some reassurances....Maybe nothing happened....IDK...Ahhh the drunken college days
 
Not like you have any leverage here, but if my SO did that, she'd be my ex-SO.

Come on rangrz, call me a douchebag!
 
Do you trust your girlfriend?
I don't think she cheated on you. Why? First, she told you what happened. If she was trying to hide something, she wouldn't have told you anything.
I don't understand why being Italian has anything to do with anything though ....
Yeah, it's a bit weird, but things happen. I have slept in the same bed as male friends before. Maybe not a random guy I just met but if he had no place to sleep then I'd probably feel bad for him.

in my experience italians are kinda sexy so i think the op may think his girlfriend was more tempted due to this aspect. italians wooo. got my vote

it sounds like maybe she is being honest- to be fair your friends are winding you up. you even said you weren't that bothered until they started going on about it

the thing is that its up to you to trust her. though this kind of behaviour isn't really what you want- its possible she slept with him and is now doing a preemptive strike.

unless you are able to read her mind there is no way to know for sure what happened. bad seed for the brain...
 
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Not like you have any leverage here, but if my SO did that, she'd be my ex-SO.

Come on rangrz, call me a douchebag!
You sir, are a douchebag. Sleep is distinct from sex and therefore you have no good reason to be upset in anyway. At the very least, you should extend this rule to same sex persons.
 
You sir, are a douchebag. Sleep is distinct from sex and therefore you have no good reason to be upset in anyway. At the very least, you should extend this rule to same sex persons.

Apparently Canada's more "progressive" than where I'm from! If it was snowing outside and this dude had to sleep on the streets and she let him sleep on the floor, maybe!! It sets a bad precedent to tolerate that shit....I'd find some hot chick to bring with you next time you meet her in person and be like, "Yeah this is my friend Francine, she's my study partner that occasionally gets drunk in my bedroom and crashes in my bed, no biggy! It's all good mama!"....
Hey, you guys can hate all you want, but sometimes you gotta play little head games to not get walked all over!! We're talking about REALITY, not IDEALISM!
 
Would not like that at allllllll if I was you, so I don't blame you for being upset. Separate beds/rooms? OK. Same bed? The dude would have some 'splainin to do. In my eyes, it's completely disrespectful.

I wonder how she would like it if you had some girl sleeping in your bed? I bet she wouldn't be so dismissive if the roles were reversed.

^this Man, I'm sorry this is really none of my business, but, something seems kind of strange about the whole thing. The way she mentioned that she "blacked out for a half hour"...Call me posessive but if my girlfriend, that I was supposedly in an exclusive relationship with told me she let another dude sleep in her bed with her?! I'd be pissed! When I was 17 my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years banged some dude behind my back and didn't tell me, she just broke up with me and I found out later. I have no idea how long it went on...

Not like you have any leverage here, but if my SO did that, she'd be my ex-SO.


At last! Some sane people came to the thread
 
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