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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

I cannot believe what i am hearing

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very nice post T, very nicely worded. i can relate to that alot. everyone that says theyd always be there for you, arent there when you need them most..

Now OP let me relate something to you, that may help you a bit. Im guessing your son is in the 16-23 ranged? let me know if im wrong.

im 17 years old, and im a recovering drug addict. My parents are just like you, blaming drugs for my problems, and blaming me for Choosing to continue using even though i hurt my family and everyone around me. Now does that make me want to stop? No, it makes me want to use more

i use drugs because of stress, depression, and its a coping mechanism..which turned into a full blown addiction. People think i use drugs because i like to have fun, and maybe thats true for the weekend mdma user; but not me.

When you use 24/7 365 its no longer fun, its a fuckin job. Your hustlin everyday to make that 50 bucks for your next fix so you dont have to lay crippled in bed, with w/d's and puking out your guts or any other symptoms. So sometime, just put yourself in your sons shoes. And what he goes through in a normal day. But like crimson said above, if you havent lived the life..you will never understand it. and the more negative pressure you lay on him to stop, the more hes going to want to use..just sit down and talk to him sometime and help him. Thats all he needs is a shoulder, and some positive recognition.

good luck to you and your son
 
Thanks, opium. I have another thing to mention that you touched upon. Last time I had been to drug court with my son he tested dirty. The judge had given him so many chances since May when he started. He should be done with it by now, but he's "a falling star" and cannot stay clean. She laid into him because I took him out of the rehab after 7 weeks, and was jailed for contempt because of it. She had no other choice but send him to the juvenile detention center and we picked him up today.

Her words will always stick with me when she asked him to think about what makes him want to get high and knowing the consequences, why he feels he needs it. They handcuffed him and I could do nothing but cry like a little girl. I hate crying in front of people, especially a courtroom full of strangers staring at me but I couldn't help it. Maybe I am too soft on him because he's my only kid and I don't want to lose him. I blame myself mostly and think I could have done more to stop this behavior. I have my boy back but he's growing up before my eyes, making his own decisions and I feel helpless.
 
thats exactly what my parents portrayed to me..they said they no longer control what my consequences bring, im an adult and my actions will bring adult consequences.

Same seems to be for your son, no matter how much you try and help him, its out of your hands..sadly.

i still wish my choices brought a slap on the hand, and my parents would send me to my room and then a couple days later i wasnt grounded anymore.
 
I do feel for you though. Years ago my parents moved away after my father retired. They basically said their goodbyes to me because they thought they would never see me again. Don't let ur son walk all over you but at the same time be as supportive and non judgemental as possible if you can. We don't mean to hurt those we love, we really don't.
Thankfully my parents are still in my life, and I'm still alive by the grace of god.
 
To Aparentwhosuffered, you have a go at us saying how can we joke about drugs and the things we do.
The truth is a lot of us do drugs without them having any ill effect on our health or lifestyles and jobs.
Now your son overdosed x 3, went to Rehab four times and ended up in a pysche Ward.
His story is by no means a common one. I'm clean now but was addicted to heroin for over 11 years and also tried lots of different drugs.
The majority of folk who use drugs do not end up like your son did, I would say his problems ran a lot deeper than drugs hence the pysche Ward etc.
Don't come here to try and find an excuse for his behaviour,it isn't our fault.
 
I've never overdosed (dangerous one at least), never been to the ward, never stole , or pawned things. Yet ive fucked with a huge category of drugs, meth and heroin included. Most druggies have depression and anxiety, imagine every day feeling like crud. Not wanting to do anything, feeling like you can't connect with people or think that everyone is staring at you when you go out. When you do euphoric drugs, you feel at ease, you find pleasure in simple things. You feel like you can talk to people easier, and the world becomes bearable. Iv been sober for like 2-3 months now, but im seriously considering going back, if only i had a connect for the stuff i want. I thought i would feel great about my self once sober, but thats hardly the case. I just feel a little better, most of the time in a shit mood.
 
^If you used heroin for 11 years and never ended up ODing, going to rehab. the psych ward or some other place, I'd say you're in the minority. Sure some people get away with it, but "commonly" those are exactly the types of things that happen to people who "abuse" hard drugs like heroin, cocaine, amps, etc.

I used heroin every single day for 4 straight years, by far the longest run I ever had with it, and between the legal, financial and physical strains it put on me, it's a miracle I walked away from it realitively unscathed. If I made a list of everyone I knew who was involved in it during those four years who got busted, ODd, lost there jobs, their kids etc. It would be a long list! We're not talking about marijuana or MDMA on the weekend at a rave....
People whose kids end up fucking on drugs end up hating the whole drug culture....I don't think we're really the people to talk to about it, though!
 
i started using hard drugs when i was completely abandoned by my family for using weed and having mental issues, so it was the reverse of using hard drugs and then "learning my lesson", etc.

i promote understanding, love, and proper care as opposed to fucking up someones life even more. that will make everything worse.
 
. Like many have said, were here for harm reduction.
You will hear us share stories, that's not glorification, it's us telling each other how we've fucked up so we can stop the next person from making the same mistake. Were here so less of us end up like your son has, unfortunately.

If I had this site in my prime of using, I would have had a lot less OD's and a lot easier time going through WD's. Everyone here offers advice on all those things. I may continue to use or I may not, but f I do it's a hell of a lot safer use with the advice of the knowledgeable people on BL.

It's not our fault your sons where he's at, and it isn't yours. He is in a bad Place, and needs advice, and your support. If he were to read some threads on here he may not have overdosed. You never know.
 
BlueHues said:
^If you used heroin for 11 years and never ended up ODing, going to rehab. the psych ward or some other place, I'd say you're in the minority. Sure some people get away with it, but "commonly" those are exactly the types of things that happen to people who "abuse" hard drugs like heroin, cocaine, amps, etc.

I used heroin every single day for 4 straight years, by far the longest run I ever had with it, and between the legal, financial and physical strains it put on me, it's a miracle I walked away from it realitively unscathed. If I made a list of everyone I knew who was involved in it during those four years who got busted, ODd, lost there jobs, their kids etc. It would be a long list! We're not talking about marijuana or MDMA on the weekend at a rave....
People whose kids end up fucking on drugs end up hating the whole drug culture....I don't think we're really the people to talk to about it, though!
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How many times did you OD,go to rehab and end up on a pysch Ward during yr 4 years of drug use?
Her son put her through all of that over 5 years. I'd say drugs were his symptoms not the cause. He obviously is a troubled man.
If in 5 years you've OD x 3 go rehabilitation x 4 and put on a physch Ward then he obviously can't handle drugs and perhaps needs mental health drugs instead.
 
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Aparentwhosuffered said:
I joined this page as a parent who suffered for 5 years and still continues to do so with my son who is a former drug addict. He overdosed 3 times, third almost dead. Seizured 4 times from Tramadol...snorted opiates, landed in a psych ward etc...Why is it that you do not value your lives? Why do you brag about doing drugs? You brag about heroin? I dont get this. Please make me understand! The pain I've gone through was unconscionable. Rehab 4 times, now suboxone and hopefully wean off....I feel for drug addicts, but why do you continue to do it? Do you know what pain you cause to others? Your selfishness of getting high? The money you spend when you could be enjoying life? This all breaks my heart at the talk of drugs as if it is candy and the pain of some not knowing what to do...Just one question...Why do you go on getting high? :( Are you not afraid to die?
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Sorry to hear about your son. I see that your assumptions and aggressive language are mostly coming from your own personal pain, so I won't lash back at you. If anything, you have my compassion. Below are some points I'd like you to know:

1) The psychedelic drugs I tend to use are not life threatening. No, I am not afraid of dying -- not from drugs or anything else. That's because I deconstruct death regularly in my spiritual practice. In fact, it is psychedelics that played a big part in me coming to terms with death.
2) I'm not addicted. In fact, I do psychedelics maybe a handful of times every year.
3) When talking about "drugs", it's important to first understand that there are many kinds of drugs, with many different reactions, benefits, and risks. No two drugs are alike.
4) When talking about drug users, it's important to first understand that they come from all walks of life just like any other broad group of human beings, and they engage in varying levels of conscious, unconscious, constructive or self-destructive behaviours. No two users are alike.
5) I may talk a lot about my drug use on Bluelight because there is a cool community here, but in the offline world I never talk about my use with the general population as it's none of their business. In other words, bragging is not part of my lifestyle.
6) Spending my money on drugs is me enjoying life. The two things are not mutually exclusive.
7) Everyone is selfish to a degree, even you.
 
I was an IV heroin user for 11years, never once did I OD,go to rehab or hospital. I have plenty of addict friends who have never been through any of that either.
Whether its because you in the USA are injecting pharmaceutical drugs I don't know or is it the methamphetamine because we don't have those types of drug problems in the UK.
But to have a go at us for talking freely about drugs because of what her son went through is totally wrong.
I wouldn't have a go at you all if a family member died from cancer caused by smoking and come here saying how can u joke about smoking.
She should not blame us but blame her son, he took the drugs repeatedly even after overdoseing several times.
Its his fault not yours or mine.
 
maxalfie said:
But to have a go at us for talking freely about drugs because of what her son went through is totally wrong.
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yeah why not move to north korea & take her son with her... no internet there


maxalfie said:
She should not blame us but blame her son, he took the drugs repeatedly even after overdoseing several times.
Its his fault not yours or mine.
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yeah what i cannot belive is these people. a week or so ago a mother of a friend i used to see frequently years ago contatced me to try to make me feel guilty for her son's choises and ranting in media style not letting me say a word of logic.
his body his brain his life, his lack of education and his recklessness brought him to his possition... oh and goverments stimulating inferior products being sold by people with questionable morals on the street
 
it is a bit annoying when people celebrate heroin on this,its not to bad when its some one whos not addicted but when its a full blown addict it gets to me i was on heroin 5 years and i had nothing but regret while i was taken it,it was the same for the other 100 or so addicts i met,but on this site some addicts do celebrate it,its a shame!!

its like they dont realize gear has over taken their lives...which it does...sure i stole and did anything possible to get my next bag,but i still never lost sight of the reality of what heroin was doing to me!

i dont blame heroin for everything im still by no means the perfect person,but at least now im not hurting my family or ripping people off!
 
Plenty of us on here are, as addicts, blind to what the drugs are doing to us. This can be incredibly frustrating to those on the outside looking in.
 
I think this thread has run its course. As many people have mentioned, this site exists because, well, in short...people are going to do drugs no matter if they are illegal or "immoral" or "evil" or not. We're here to help people do drugs safely and get off drugs if their usage becomes a problem.

Because our modern society has placed so much on "don't do drugs" and so little on actual drug education, many young people end up experimenting with things that they would have never experimented with if presented with actual facts. Instead, all young people have to go on is rumors and what they've seen on TV.

People have been doing drugs since mankind has existed. Doing drugs has been illegal for less than a century. When Ronald Reagan was a child, it was legal to smoke marijuana. True story. Demonizing a behavior that is a natural part of human existence is a bit crazy.

I feel sorry for your son and I feel sorry for you. I hope he gets the help he needs. Judgement on your part has helped nobody. I encourage you to read through the other parts of this site before making such judgments again and I also encourage you to send me or any other staff member a private message (PM) if you have any further questions.

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