• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

I've NEVER been this heartbroken in my life...

gloeek

gloeek

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
13,576
so when i was in inpatient at a certain psych ward from sept 4-oct 6 i grew to have a relationship with one of the techs that works there on the unit. it wasn't physical or anything. the most physical it got was long hugs and kisses on the hand. he would look into my eyes for long periods of time and tell me how beautiful i was and how beautiful my eyes were. we were ALWAYS together. people are saying that i just had a silly school girl crush, but i KNOW it was a lot deeper than that. it was definitely mutual. well, a couple days his wife (who he never even mentioned to me the whole month i was there) pulled me aside and said i was being completely inappropriate and to never make any contact with him again. I really thought I had met my prince charming, but once again I am alone and heartbroken.
 
also, people are saying the only reason he was even nice to me is because it was "his job."
 
also, this is the first time i've opened my heart to anyone since Tom (melange) died.
 
if he never mentioned his wife to you the whole time, he was deceiving you. you deserve better than that. you're better than this.

<3

alasdair
 
I am sorry to hear that. :(

There may have been a degree of Florence Nightingale Syndrome (yes, it's a real thing) or transference--perhaps both at once--going on; in any event, it was unfair and cruel to you, especially as a married man. As someone with his own share of baggage, I urge you to let this go and/or unburden yourself to another friend (or, perhaps to another damnable-but-necessary headshrinker) as soon as possible, before it corrodes your insides. I take it you've had enough of that, already.

Best of luck to you.
 
That guy sounds like no good. Not only does he have a wife, but to start any sort of relationship with a patient is very unprofessional. You def deserve better than to be strung along by some two timer! No matter how charming he may have seemed. I am curious what you said to the wife... did you let her know you didn't know she existed, and how inappropriate her husband was acting? I hope you can let this go quickly! If you're sad try taking a nice bath, with music playing! Music really helps heartbreak. Find something you can sing along to :).
 
Even taking away the fact that he's married, this is really unprofessional conduct on his part - misconduct actually as he's in a position of trust and responsibility (and behaviour like kissing you on the hand and calling you beautiful is certainly not his job). I'm not sure where you live, but in Australia he might have been struck off for doing this or at least suspended, as behaviour like that is taken really seriously here. And as an inpatient, particularly in mental health, you're a vulnerable person and he should never have behaved so badly.

I hope you talk about your feelings with your counsellor or psychologist so you don't have a set back. Please don't let his wife make you feel bad, you didn't do anything wrong, he did and she wasn't much better approaching you - some women just don't want to face up to who they married so it's easier to blame another woman.

You're a worthy person and you deserve a lovely guy who treats you with respect.
 
I find this ridiculous that this guy did this to you. But you have to just realize you can have something even bigger in life. Remember, life will always open more and more doors if we j ust keep flipping the cards we're dealt.
 
This guy took advantage of you. I hope you get over this scumbag quickly!
 
I would tell his boss or someone with authority about it. What he did was unprofessional, and not helpful to you as a patient. Also talk to any sort of psychiatrist, psychologist, or counselor about this. Good luck.
 
I'm so sorry. But clearly, if he was capable of hiding things from you like that, you deserve much better and someone who'll make you much happier. I know it's difficult to get over feelings like that but it always happens eventually, especially when the person just clearly wasn't the right one. If I were you I'd try to focus on that (very) negative thing that is he is married rather than remembering the positive and happy moments.
 
It's bad enough when guys pull the chivalry routine on you, but doing it to psych patients is just wrong. That guy is not a very class act.
 
gloeek said:
also, this is the first time i've opened my heart to anyone since Tom (melange) died.
Click to expand...

Honestly, gloeek. I think this might be the reason and it's making it more difficult for you. I know I went through this exact same thing with my first dating partner after Rob died. I'm really sorry you're going through it too. It even took me like a year to get over the guy, because I kinda felt betrayed at a higher level. Like he took a very fragile person and played on it. I now realize that isn't true, but it still hurt nonetheless.

/hugs
 
How did his wife pull you aside if you were no longer a patient there? Or were you still at the facility? Either way this man crossed the line. He's supposed to act professionaly and the wife can't blame you for his over-friendliness. He probably acts this way with other female patients. You should come forward and make a formal complaint about his behavior. He's clearly a player and needs to be stopped!
 
What happened to make his wife confront you like that? A staff member's wife confronting a patient? Sounds like a messy situation.

It seems like you're really hurting right now. And I agree with others - the behaviour you describe is highly inappropriate, and you should definitely speak to his superiors at the psych ward about what has happened.

It absolutely sucks that this has happened, especially when you were already vulnerable, but you will get through it. It will hurt, but it will pass. Just try your absolute hardest to focus on yourself and your recovery. Are you seeing a therapist now at all? I think it's probably a good idea, and could help. Speak to friends about how you're feeling too. Reach out to those around you for support and stay as positive as possible....just ride it out, it won't feel this bad forever.
 
T. Calderone said:
How did his wife pull you aside if you were no longer a patient there? Or were you still at the facility? Either way this man crossed the line. He's supposed to act professionaly and the wife can't blame you for his over-friendliness. He probably acts this way with other female patients. You should come forward and make a formal complaint about his behavior. He's clearly a player and needs to be stopped!
Click to expand...

Yeah, but guys like this start getting distant from the wife, and the wife just senses it. I had a boss who would go home and draw pictures of me and bring them into work. Then, he told me his wife thought we were having an affair. Stupid shit like that puts the poor girl in a weird position, because she's totally innocent, but the wife sees that the husband is straying. Plus, she didn't even know he was married. Granted, the wife should have approached the deadbeat husband first, but she might have, and men lie through their teeth when approached on this subject. The lies just make her seem more guilty.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top