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Gibberings Honda CX500 - knock's a very naughty boy

TheSpade said:
It snowed here for all of 10 minutes, wasn't heavy enough to lie.
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Chanking innit. It's lying on Goat Fell on Arran, think that's going to be it now until next Apr / May :|

Likely be back to rain next week mind, all those gorgeous rustling autumn leaves will turn to mush...cheery as fuck eh :(

So what's the gossip? apart from the stuff that gets emailed to me as reported posts 8):\
 
I've fallen off the wagon, I can't fucking believe it. 4yrs not a drop and tonight bought a six pack of coors, I know its nothing to you guys but to me its a real setback. And the season is my benzo tolerance has hit such sky high levels I need a few beers to get where I need to be. I really hope tonight doesn't ruin all my hard work when it comes to drinking. I need to start thinking seriously about my benzo issues.
If I go to the Dr and tell him the extent of the problem what am I likely to come out of it with? At best a big script of blues, at worst some drug councelling session with no actuall chemical help at all.
I dont really fancy going through the whole addaction process again, it was so military I hated it.
Think I need to do this one myself, I've done it before I can do it myself.
Guys I need opinions, which benzo is best to taper off from? I know the long acting ones are the most effective, but would u say phenaz would be better than Diaz if I can control the dose titration, that isn't a problem because I can create a 250mc per 5ml and work out a dosage schedule and have my Mrs stash it giving me the requireddose each day.
Is this a good plan, or should I stick to the general Diaz taper? Really not sure about going about this one, brain zaps are driving me mad!!
 
Sorry to hear that DC :( I'd recommend getting to the docs and getting some professional help over self medication, self medication rarely works, well it hasn't really worked for me, I'm off to try and get a doctor sorted on Monday and get some help down here.
 
My only advice would be to not obsess too much over your slippage on the booze. Accept it for what it is - a mistake that you want to correct - and move on positively. Don't let an error eat you up and fester into guilt.

You sound like you know the cause, so I'm sure you'll find the fortitude to control this behaviour, just as you did with your alcohol use.

Someone else will have to advise you on benzo tapering.

Best of luck.
 
Yeah don't dwell on it DC, worst thing you can do, it's bygones. Good luck with the taper - have faith in your abilities & strength.

I have girl crush on Ola from Strictly Come Dancing. She's adorable, we'd make a cute couple. Flavia can join in too.
 
If you were going to break a 4 year abstinence at least do it with decent beers, Coors fucking light? It's barely even a beer so I wouldn't worry.
 
TheSpade said:
If you were going to break a 4 year abstinence at least do it with decent beers, Coors fucking light? It's barely even a beer so I wouldn't worry.
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Try and be helpful elsewhere Spade, like the slow-cooking square sausage thread. Leave the HR to the professionals babes <3 When are you leaving the country next? I'll get a count down thread up once you confirm dates :D
 
tambourine-man said:
My only advice would be to not obsess too much over your slippage on the booze. Accept it for what it is - a mistake that you want to correct - and move on positively. Don't let an error eat you up and fester into guilt.
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^This

As a clever fucker once said - "To err is human; to forgive divine."
 
kate said:
^
Aye, about everyone apart from you and Mugz.
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Thanks for the vote of confidence kate :\ I may be no professional but I can give advice just like anyone else can, doesn't mean I always take the advice that I'm given by others who you would consider "professionals"

TheSpade said:
Mugz is a pro alright. Professional lunatic. ;)
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No denial there, lunatic in recovery, as soon as I can get to the docs on Monday I'm there, until then it's another 4 cans of K Cider for me and some terrible TV decisions.
 
Mugz said:
Thanks for the vote of confidence kate :\ I may be no professional but I can give advice just like anyone else can, doesn't mean I always take the advice that I'm given by others who you would consider "professionals".
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Yeh that was a cheep shot - my apologies, but really petal you are the worst example of harm reduction in action I've seen on here ever. Sorry if that annoys / angers you etc. Though I doubt you even give a shit about what anyone else thinks of you. If you did you wouldn't be publicising / attention seeking yourself like you do on a live public internet forum.

I'm being harsh M - I am. If I was in a room right now with you, I'd kick your fucking arse.

Then probably hug you. You let me worry the fuck about you and didn't give one shit about that or any of the rest of us in that concerned state for your welfare. I'm not going to let you forget that M.

Get yourself sorted <3
 
kate said:
Yeh that was a cheep shot - my apologies, but really petal you are the worst example of harm reduction in action I've seen on here ever. Sorry if that annoys / angers you etc. Though I doubt you even give a shit about what anyone else thinks of you. If you did you wouldn't be publicising / attention seeking yourself like you do on a live public internet forum.

I'm being harsh M - I am. If I was in a room right now with you, I'd kick your fucking arse.

Then probably hug you. You let me worry the fuck about you and didn't give one shit about that or any of the rest of us in that concerned state for your welfare. I'm not going to let you forget that M.

Get yourself sorted <3
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I know, I know, I know, that's why I'm back, it's time to get myself sorted, for good this time, my thing is do as I say not as I do!!, lol. I am obviously not a good example for anyone that reads bluelight.

Just to let you all know that I do know that sometimes I do things that worry people and I really hate that, I regret making people worry about me, I would say I wish people didn't worry but at least it shows that they kind of care, I will do my very best to avoid anything that would make people worry about me again. I do give a shit about the people that are concerned, I am just terrible at showing it.
 
Mugz said:
I know, I know, I know, that's why I'm back, it's time to get myself sorted, for good this time, my thing is do as I say not as I do!!, lol. I am obviously not a good example for anyone that reads bluelight.

Just to let you all know that I do know that sometimes I do things that worry people and I really hate that, I regret making people worry about me, I would say I wish people didn't worry but at least it shows that they kind of care, I will do my very best to avoid anything that would make people worry about me again. I do give a shit about the people that are concerned, I am just terrible at showing it.
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M a lot of people really care about you - I could hardly sleep one night for freaking out about how fucking stupid and out of control, and what a fuck you didn't give about you. You were being a right idiot. That's the thing, loads of people do really care about you.

But you don't give a fuck about you. That's a big problem.

Get yourself sorted. Love yourself <3 as much as a lot of other people love you. and I don't mean because you're some idiot clown who entertains the board folk on here.

You know Felix has said to me, and you know he's been here as if not more than longer than you - oh has nothings changed for him....I even feel bad about prodding angel because I was worried sick to the stomach about you - and now I'm thinking has me doing that detrimentally caused her problems she didn't even have until that pm....

Yeh M - I'd really fucking kick your arse. Be glad I'm 100's miles away.

Sort yourself out <3
 
Angel was a star today for driving me back home, it was sad saying goodbye, but down here is where I can get the help that I need.

I'm truly sorry for making other people worry, that makes me feel like shit, and I'm not trying to make others feel like shit by saying it makes me feel shit, if that makes sense. I hate causing other people to worry because of my actions, it destroys me.

You are right though, I need to start giving a fuck about myself, and hopefully in a town with many friends and tons of family I can start to appreciate who I am and what I've got to live for, that's why I'm back. I wouldn't have lasted another few weeks up where I was before before one of my episodes ended with an RIP post and Mugz forever confined to the shrine.




On another note, someone has just destroyed "killing me softly" on the x-factor, get the pun??
 
Mugz said:
Angel was a star today for driving me back home, it was sad saying goodbye, but down here is where I can get the help that I need.

................

On another note, someone has just destroyed "killing me softly" on the x-factor, get the pun??
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Angel is more than an angel <3 Glad you appreciate that.

Everyone wants to see you getting back from that dangerous edge M. Me included, I wish you the very best that you make this work this time <3

If you fuck up and emotionally blackmail and terrorise, abuse the RP function or generally disrupt this forum ever like that again, I will have no sympathy any more. I'll infract you and you will eventually get yourself banned and I'll be more than happy to facilitate that for you. Eadd is more than you, never forget that.

Get better M - you deserve a lot more than this <3
 
kate said:
If you fuck up and emotionally blackmail and terrorise, abuse the RP function or generally disrupt this forum ever like that again, I will have no sympathy any more. I'll infract you and you will eventually get yourself banned and I'll be more than happy to facilitate that for you. Eadd is more than you, never forget that.
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Wow, I don't even remember this incident whatever it was, I'm terribly sorry as it sounds pretty bad, only thing I remember was putting up my phone number, I had a rather pleasant call I remember but can't remember anything before or after that happened. Sorry for any disruption, I really am. It's pretty hard to portray sorrow and regret in text on the net but I do mean it, I really do.
 
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