My friends daughter has meth psychosis but says she hasnt used in days?! Possible?

[Swimmingdancer]

I feeel like my friend is having all these problems because she is too soft, and if I am soft too, I am part of the problem.

^I would reconsider this assumption. Many many drug addicts I know had parents who were strict, forbid them to use drugs, or used the "tough love" approach. And often kids will just do a great job of hiding their drug use and other problems from such parents. I WISH I'd had a parent who I could have told about my drug use, who would have cared for me when I made a mistake. Feeling loved, accepted, supported and like you can be honest with your parent go a very long way to fostering happy healthy kids who don't end up getting their lives destroyed by drugs.

If she is your best friend, don't judge her or her parenting. If you don't agree with her choices, fine, but be very considerate about it because you can't know what is best for someone else and their unique situation and challenges in life. What makes you think your behaviour in this situation was a positive thing for your kids to see? Would it be so bad to show compassion for someone who is having mental problems? Could you have perhaps turned this into a learning experience, showing them that that is what can happen from using meth and isn't it sad, or something like that?

I'm not trying to be rude or tell you you're wrong, I understand you have probably had experiences that have made this situation hard for you to deal with, I'm just trying to encourage you to try looking at things from different perspectives.

 

[Mel22]

Thanks for the feedback. - The different perspectives did help me. .. This is my best friend for the last 2 years and my housekeeper, she lives a very different life at home than I do. Its been hard to maintain being friends with her and deal with all the drama of her life. I have 4 grown children and I worked my ass off to keep them smart and safe and none of them do drugs nor have been in any trouble and it is because of my strict attitude concerning such things, my past has made me hard Not understanding of it. I feeel like my friend is having all these problems because she is too soft, and if I am soft too, I am part of the problem. BUT my friend IS MAD at me, sooooo I CAN see how SHE feels much like many of the comments I have received in here, I failed as a friend .. but I kept my principles and my kids saw me do that, and I dunno what is most important (they are still young adults) - I cant BE THERE for my friend if MY idea of how to help a young addicted person is totally different than hers. But Thanks anyways for the feedback.

I really can't be bothered going into it all because I feel as though anything I say will fall upon deaf ears, but you are so incredibly ignorant and judgemental that it makes me sick.

I find it disgusting that you blame this girl's unfortunate situation on her mother. A mother that has been supporting and taking care of her child through this, and you have the nerve to say she's "having all these problems because she's too soft?" You really need to take a good, long look at yourself buddy. People like you are a big problem in this world.

I also find it ridiculous that you think it's because you've been "strict" that your children do not take drugs. Lol. Yes, because it's all just that simple, isn't it? You say you kept your "principles" when you kicked out a girl who was in need of help, and probably trash-talked her and her mother to your kids - well done. I'm sure with the compassion and understanding that you've shown, if your kids ever are in trouble I'm sure they'll feel comfortable confiding in you because you're so non-judgemental and approachable 8)

Your friend is going through a horrible time - her young daughter is suffering greatly, and her "best friend" is being a judgemental bitch. Nice. You say you can't be there for your friend because your ideas are different. So, your way or the highway when it comes to raising HER fucking child? Well, she's better off without someone like you in her life. She's angry at you because you're a shit friend, who has refused to support her in her time of need because of your ignorance and the fact that you severely lack empathy. You also seem very unintelligent due to the fact that you've severely over-simplified such complicated issues. You do not appear to have the mental capacity to understand what is happening around you.

You are not someone I would ever want to encounter, and I just hope that your children grow into mature, open-minded and compassionate adults, in spite of the hatred and judgement you've exposed them to.

EDIT: Wait, you're the 41 year old, "ex-junkie" grandparent who's planning on being on Tramadol and morphine for the rest of your life and order Prednisone (without even knowing what it is) over the internet and inject it as you feel like it? LOL, and YOU'RE judging this poor lady because her 14 year old child is in trouble!? What a joke. Grow up.

 

[Hiltoniano]

^dude tone it down a bit. I get you feel strongly about this but there's no reason to call names or ridicule the OP. Have some respect, even for people that you don't feel deserve it. You don't know the whole story. I think the OP has gotten what they will from all the responses, being rude is not going to help anything.

 

[Znegative]

Yeah, come on now, it's pretty clear that most of us disagree with these perspectives, but that goes without saying (I mean, the majority of members here are/were drug users (something the OP might want to keep in mind as well..). Basically lets just ignore the bullshit and try and give some helpful information out (as some here have), please save the animosity for someplace else.

 

[Mel22]

Sorry, I was a bit harsh, but I just felt she needed to hear it.

I'll play nice from now on.

 

[cassandragemini]

That was one hell of a rant mel, I have to say I'm impressed with your ability to smite, wow.

After reading this thread I totally understand mels point of view and I think she said what many of us were thinking but didn't want or have the guts to say. The OP has said some things that I found shockingly ignorant, arrogant and just plain mean and while insulting someone isn't nice or usually the best way to get someone to acknowledge and change their behaviour, sometimes a harsh, honest shock will wake them up to who they are and will resonate a little more deeply than just disagreeing with them.

Nikki you need to think about how you dealt with that situation and how what you did affected everyone else who was there, I totally understand that dealing with a psychotic teenager is never pleasant but I personally found your reaction and following responses to be totally uncool and not something that a good, caring empathetic friend or person would do. Also before you lash out again saying things like 'zyprexa takes 2 weeks to work' like you know what you're talking about do some research, you didnt know what you were talking about at all and on this site assumption and dealing in absolutes when you haven't done your research will lead you to get shot down very quickly. I think you need to have a good think about the sort of person you want to be, I was shocked by the coldness of your posts and I'm sure you don't want to be thought of like that.

 

[PlurPsyed]

has she slept and/or eaten?

 

[cj]

I think Mel was spot on. with friends like that who needs enemys

 

[nikki41]

The reason it mattered to me was I didnt want my friend to be in DENIAL. I didnt want her to be a fool. She was trying to tell me her daughter hadnt touched meth in over a week. I Didnt see how that was possible. I want her to get help but she cant get help if she believes her 14y old meth addicted daughter over reason. I now see that actually could of been true. Im sorry for fighting with her about it but I was fighting out of trying to HELP. Ive figured her daugther was gonna go wayward long ago, she just doesnt parent right.. and its aggravating cuz I want to help. I had told her just like 6 months ago "if anything bad happens to her than I dunno if our friendship would survive" and thats cuz I see her as directly responsible for not taking care of her children. When MY daughter was caught with my pills at age 14 at the boys and girls club, I had her handcuffed and shacked and taken to juvi for 3 days and guess what, it was the worst experience of her lil spoiled life and SHE NEVER did ANYTHING like that AGAIN. All my kids love me and we are very close, they felt loved and cared for when I showed them that kind of tuff love. I have 4 adult and 1 other children who have never had problems and she has two, a son who shoots herion and now a daughter on meth and suffering mental problems on it. . My heart breaks for her and I dont care if its super judgy or not, Im mad, Im furious, Im sad and im sick. Moms are suppose to keep this from happening not go along with it, she smokes pot with her kids since they were ike 10 years old, lots of things like this I cant condone or understand despite my past with drugs. i just cant respect her

 

[littlepenguin]

When MY daughter was caught with my pills at age 14 at the boys and girls club, I had her handcuffed and shacked and taken to juvi for 3 days and guess what, it was the worst experience of her lil spoiled life and SHE NEVER did ANYTHING like that AGAIN.

I have 4 adult and 1 other children who have never had problems...

ahhhh, lol.

sooooo either you don't see that your daughter stealing your pills (what kind of horrid mother are you, leaving your pills strewn about the house, available for your precious little angels to possibly get their fingers on?? my god, how deplorable! and how could they have possibly known what recreational purposes these pills had in store? you should be sheltering them more!!! tough love FTW!!!!!!! handcuffs and shackles and bears, oh my!!!!!) as a problem, or, you just conveniently forgot about the incident, or because she hasn't committed any same or similar offenses (that you are aware of, super mom) so it's just swept under the rug, as if nothing ever happened. Well, supermom, congrats - you've got yourself a set of PERFECT children, because you are the PERFECT parent.

*barfs*

 

[Bambooshoot]

Nikki have you read anything anyone has said to you on here? I have never met such an arrogant, ignorant woman in my whole life.

She just doesn't parent right

Your daughter was caught with your pills. Which I am assuming were narcotics? What happened to lead by example?

You make me wanna bang my head against a brick wall, you really do.

 

[xburtonchic]

Nikki, you remind me a lot of my mom... someone who I can't WAIT to get away from. You might *think* you're the perfect parent who has such a loving, close, open relationship with your children, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of the way they act in front of you is just a big ass facade. If you think your children have never had problems (which they have, by the way, you admitted it yourself LOL), you are in serious denial. My guess is that your children have had more than their fair share of problems - you've just never known about them because they've always been too scared to come to you with them. They're probably well aware that they would only be met with harsh judgement and even MORE problems (because having your OWN CHILD arrested and put into the system... which is EXTREMELY hard to escape once you're already in by the way... isn't just adding fuel to the fire and impacting whatever problems they already have, right?)

People like you and my mother seriously blow my mind. I could never really understand how anyone could be that cruel, judgemental, ignorant, and heartless. I feel sad for your friend... and her daughter... but more than anything else, I feel HORRIBLE for your children. Honestly I have zero sympathy for people like you and I'm not going to sugarcoat my words, sorry. Especially because I'm willing to bet that you've hurt lots of people in your life, with your "my way or the highway" attitude... probably more than you could even begin (or should I say more than you care) to comprehend. So I really dgaf if my post seems harsh or hurtful or anything else negative for that matter, because what someone else said earlier is right... your "best friend" is far better off without you in her life.

 

[Tripman]

I'm closing this because it has degenerated into abuse against the OP.

OP if you wish for me to re-open this PM me but all I see is a continuation of opinionated rants and perspectives very similar to what has already been said.

Also guys there are several posts in here that I could quite happily issue warnings for - play nice.