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women who use kids as a weapon

eireann

eireann

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 4, 2012
Messages
788
Location
kildare ireland
does any one think that custody laws have to be changed?

mothers shouldnt have the power to use children as a weapon,i know not all mothers do this but the ones that do leave a bad taste.
i cant get over the fact my ex has this much power over me and my son and now i have to wait 8 weeks to possibly get over night access to my son again.
its a disgrace of a law and the pain is so that i am sure many of a decent loving father have taken their own live over this.
the thing is know one seems to care about these sexist laws and its a joke of a situation to be in.


it seems know one gives a shit when it comes to dads,they just want your money!!!
 
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this one hits pretty close to home for me, man. i feel your pain. i do know that in the US, we've come a long way as far as rights for dads. but, it's still almost impossible to get full custody, unless the mother is a junkie or some shit. it's such a long and expensive process, that most of us just give up. however, i'm not giving up. not yet at least.

i don't really want to disclose all the personal details of my case here, but let's just say the mother has been far from perfect. in fact, quite the opposite, she's in violation of our agreement on multiple fronts, and i'm not. and you're correct, it's all about money with most of these chicks. i'm so jealous of my divorced friends that are able to have a healthy relationship with their ex's for the sake of their children. i'm not in that situation, at all. and unfortunately, we're in the process of dealing with the courts, yet again.

if you're able to, lawyer up, and do everything you possibly can to be a part of your child's life. i don't understand women that try to alienate their kids from their fathers, and vice versa, because some dads are guilty of it too.

i'm gonna leave the race thing alone in this, because i don't think it really pertains to the topic.

good luck.
 
yeah i removed that it would of just been a distraction. in ireland the law states 'mother' not guardian and grants all the rites to her,she can adopt your child off with out informing you[although its recommended shes does but not compulsory] so she has the rite to give your rites to another guy with out informing you. she can also take your name off the birth cert if she wishes.its totally insane.

i took her to court already but we came to an agreement and i just told the judge i want guardianship which was granted and then shes goes back on her agreement,im a fucking idiot for trusting her and not fighting my case.
 
jesus, that is horribly unfair, and makes me sick. i don't really know what to tell you, my friend.
i'm sorry that you're going through this.

so, to answer your question....yea, father's rights laws in Ireland should absolutely be reformed.
 
i just dont get how they live with the guilt man she stopped my two nights saying she missed him...wtf thats not a good enough excuse i miss him all week and so does my family ie.his granny etc,i couldnt rob my child of his mother so i dont understand how she can do this to her son and her sons dad! fucking BITCH!!! she has 'zero' reason for this shes a selfish evil pig. she knew how happy our son was coming over he was pure spoiled,the only logic i can use for this situation is that shes an evil heartless fuck..yet i wouldnt dare say any of this to her as id be totally fucked,she rang me to tell me the situation and as i begged her not to do it,she had the nerve to constantly shout over me saying 'NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME!!!!!' the self obsessed cheek of her she got angry at me as she robbed me of my son...so i definitely stand by remark that she is an evil bitch!!!!
 
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I feel sorry for you man.

I've heard quite a few stories about such situations, I'm not a dad yet, but I hope I'll never have to fight such hopeless battle as the "good dads" battle against heartless moms.

I've never got to understand why are moms considered as the 'better' single-parent than dads. This just doesn't get to me. I ask: what happened in the first place, that the law and judges are what they are? Favouring moms as potential single-parents more than dads?

Can somebody explain me? This surely has some roots in history but I'm undereducated in this certain matter.
 
eireann said:
i just dont get how they live with the guilt man she stopped my two nights saying she missed him...wtf thats not a good enough excuse i miss him all week and so does my family ie.his granny etc,i couldnt rob my child of his mother so i dont understand how she can do this to her son and her sons dad! fucking BITCH!!! she has 'zero' reason for this shes a selfish evil pig. she knew how happy our son was coming over he was pure spoiled,the only logic i can use for this situation is the shes an evil heartless fuck..yet i wouldnt dare say any of this to her as id be totally fucked,she rang me to tell me the situation and as i begged her not to do it,she had the nerve to constantly shout over me saying 'NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME!!!!!' the self obsessed cheek of her she got angry at me as she robbed me of my son...so i definitely stand by remark that she is an evil bitch!!!!
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her and my ex should get an apartment together and live miserably ever after. they sound exactly the same.
 
it goes back to the days of women being home makers and men being the bread winners it has it roots well before the welfare state,its a joke woman have equal rites these days they dont need preferential treatment in the eyes of the law...its just insane that they have this power im being kept away from my own son for no reason its fucking mind boggling and i have to wait at least two months for a court date. its crazy how can anyone keep me from my OWN son im his dad,because im a man and shes a woman she can do this to me!!!!

how can a civilized country let this happen to its citizens and not have rectified it by now!!!! i feel like going up to enda kenny and smacking him till he gets this law changed.
 
Folley said:
You'll probably get a lot better responses if you ask a mod to move this to SL&R.... just sayin.



I think the largest injustice in this whole thing is that it's not the kid's choice though... I mean, it's his damn life.
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mod move this to slr please..

hes only 9 months folley also i wouldnt like too make my child choose between his parents thats the kind of thing that would scar a child for life.
 
With the current law in the UK / Ireland your simply screwed as a guy once you leave your ex / kids. IF you have money to waste then you can drag the full debate to court, you can 'win' custody but ... you show up at the pre arranged date / time to collect your kid. Your ex opens the door and can simply state - sorry they were unwell last night and are feeling poorly today, therefore you cannot take them today. Rinse and repeat, week after week after week etc - yes really unfair but there is not a court in the world that will allow you to physically take an 'unwell' child out of its 'home'.

You want to push this a bit further? Your ex can simply tell her solicitor that she fears for the childs safety! If you have ever been to your doctor with a drug related issue then your screwed (they can easily say your an addict or have drug problems etc)! Push it a bit more - Your ex can get really really twisted about this without needing any proof - you used to hit her, she caught you looking at child porn one night so kicked you out (hence the break up)!.
 
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Bearlove said:
With the current law in the UK / Ireland your simply fucked as a guy once you leave your ex / kids. IF you have money to waste then you can drag the full debate to court, you can 'win' custody but ... you show up at the pre arranged date / time to collect your kid. Your ex opens the door and can simply state - sorry they were unwell last night and are feeling poorly today, therefore you cannot take them today. Rinse and repeat, week after week after week etc - yes really fucking unfair but there is not a court in the world that will allow you to physically take an 'unwell' child out of its 'home'.

You want to push this a bit further? Your ex can simply tell her solicitor that she fears for the childs safety! If you have ever been to your doctor with a drug related issue then your fucked! Your ex can get really twisted about this without any proof - you used to hit her, she caught you looking at child porn hence the break up!
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and she could do all of the above im still going to court though what other choice do i have...murrder??lol but seriously i have no choice i wouldnt mind but i am a former addict so you have scared me there!!!
 
eireann said:
and she could do all of the above im still going to court though what other choice do i have...
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imho

condoms.jpg
 
ChickenScratch said:
her and my ex should get an apartment together and live miserably ever after. they sound exactly the same.
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Make room for my ex and I'll supply a match. Then we could all live together with our kids in a Fathers dude ranch with jumping castles and cake for breakfast.

I have 50:50 and my ex moved an hour and a half up the road. Makes it impossible to see them after work or head along to father's day at school. My youngest one is 5 now and he has gone from being very much a mummy's boy to missing me like crazy and crying when I have to drop them home. The only hope I have now as they get closer to high school is they realise that the best opportunities and schools are down the road from me and they will eventually want to live with me first. I'm sure my ex will be piss more that the $2000/month that goes towards her life style is going to slowly disappear.
 
busty all you can do now is become the fun and light in their life,and judging by the reaction of your 5 year old you are already doing that.
you are supporting them and doing your best your wife should not of moved so far away obviously you couldnt follow them as that would be putting their 2000 dollars per month in jeopardy,she should have been obligated to keep her kids close to their father...as i said the laws every where are a sexist joke,her decision to move away is affecting the quality of her kids lives!!!
 
My ex and I have shared custody of our son who is now 15. He had until recently never missed a weekend visit or weekdays even. Last year, my son got into trouble smoking weed and was expelled from school. His father (based solely on my weed smoking before he was born) tried to make real trouble and called Child Protection Service on me. Tried to say the kid must be getting weed from his mother and I was investigated. I had no trouble passing a drug test and the case was quickly closed. Still, what he did was vicious.

I have never asked for more child support since the order was put into place in 1999. Even though I lost my job in 2009, does not make me "unfit" and I have since had other work but quit this past May. My son was non-compliant with drug court and we told him over and over what the consequences would be, so he was placed in a residential treatment program late August. I spent every day this summer with him. Dad never once came for a visit or called my son which is just not like him. Especially at this point where he needs his dad the most.

Again, according to dad this is my fault and things are getting ugly again. He's gone behind my back to the counsellors at the hospital talking all sorts of shit. Saying this is an unsuitable environment and his grandfather is a "blackout drunk" and surely I must be "on something." Couldn't be furthur from the truth and this man has no idea what we do in our home. But loves to paint a very ugly picture of our family to strangers he feels may sympathise with his mud-slinging and believe his propaganda. In actuality, ex was arrested for DUI and also 2 counts of aggravated battery on a pregnant woman (me). But this was before Timmy was born and he doesn't drink anymore.

But I don't know what he will do next. My dad is paranoid that he will phone the authorities again. I say let him, because we have nothing to hide here. Drinking in you own home is legal, we don't get "black out drunk" over here. This is coming from a man who is a dry drunk and cannot handle even 1 beer. Has dragged his son to AA meetings since he was two and continued throughout. So he has the problem, not me. It makes me sick that this man continues to make pathetic attempts to make our family look like we are at fault for the kid's weed smoking. It's even worse when the boy's judge is also in recovery (opiates) and goes to these meetings so I'm waiting for him to crawl up her ass if he hasn't already. OK I will end this rant. Sorry eireann for derailing your thread. There has got to be some legal arrangement but I'm not sure how it works in Ireland.
 
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