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MDMA fucked me due to abuse. Larger pupils/darker eyes

Trust me xanax goes great with mdma . Keeps my heartrate nice and slow during rollling , puts me right to sleep after. Try and become an occasional user , i only do it once or twice a year, been like that for 4 years. I rolled 20 or 30 times a year back in 2005 or so but now i get nice clear mdma crystals twice a year and have an event.
 
Sublime947 said:
i recently saw a psychiatrist but didnt get diagnosed with anything, maybe i shoulda lied for benzos lol... i didnt tell my psychiatrist i used drugs either though

ya xanax or something kinda appeals to me although ive never tried benzos. i wouldnt do it to get high just so i can get rid of anxiety and paranoia

wish i had some here but im in college now :/
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Ya xanax works well for about 4-6 hours, but you can only take about .5 mg or a quarter bar without getting fucked up where others notice. stick to a tiny dose of xanax. 10 mg valium is my personal favorite.
 
sublime please stop using drugs until you get your head straight, lots of nice people on bluelight here giving you advice, do you smoke weed btw?

its your life , wouldnt like you to end up mentally ill because your mind is fragile and your still using drugs.

Please take action
 
djtiesto83187 said:
Trust me xanax goes great with mdma . Keeps my heartrate nice and slow during rollling , puts me right to sleep after. Try and become an occasional user , i only do it once or twice a year, been like that for 4 years. I rolled 20 or 30 times a year back in 2005 or so but now i get nice clear mdma crystals twice a year and have an event.
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Are you trolling? Xanax completely cancels the effect of MDMA. It's great for sleeping afterward, but not WHILE rolling.
 
Yeah I'd keep it clean for a while, and get fit - run, lift, cycle whatever just get that heart rate going and enjoy it. Oh and lots of sleep, even better if it's 1-2hours after heavy exercise. Honestly believe it's the best medication.
 
Not trolling and i have taken xanax many times before rolling and rolled hard each time. I dont remember it having any cancellation of the effects .
 
^ I think your right, as someone else reported taking valium close to taking mdma time wise and had a good time.

I personally wouldn't recommend mixing uppers and downers though, its not good for the heart a bit risky id say
 
Darksidesam said:
sublime please stop using drugs until you get your head straight, lots of nice people on bluelight here giving you advice, do you smoke weed btw?

its your life , wouldnt like you to end up mentally ill because your mind is fragile and your still using drugs.

Please take action
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ya i do smoke.. i am currently smoking less tho because it makes this anxiety worse. weed is ruined for me due to other drug abuse. i may take acid this weekend tho goin to big festival and im hoping psychedelics can cure me. ill be with close friends too.

i never knew E could fuck me this bad. i have a friend who ate 2 pills a day for 3 days and rolls way more than me and hes fine. guess everyone is different

wen i first did e i thought it was a lifesaver and it was easily one of the most things i looked forward to doing. i was obsessed and thought it was good for me. i learned my lesson
 
Sublime947 said:
ya i do smoke.. i am currently smoking less tho because it makes this anxiety worse. weed is ruined for me due to other drug abuse. i may take acid this weekend tho goin to big festival and im hoping psychedelics can cure me. ill be with close friends too.

i never knew E could fuck me this bad. i have a friend who ate 2 pills a day for 3 days and rolls way more than me and hes fine. guess everyone is different

wen i first did e i thought it was a lifesaver and it was easily one of the most things i looked forward to doing. i was obsessed and thought it was good for me. i learned my lesson
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Are you listening, really ? So you have anxiety and still smoke weed8). And you want to go to a big festival and hope lsd will heal your paranoia and anxiety?8) Are you trolling? It could make things much worse, believe me. Go to the festival sober thats the only wise choice.
 
Mateeee i have anxiety so ive quit weed for my psychological wellbeing.
I can always come back to it when my minds in a better place.

I recommend L-tyrosine and Rhodiola Rosea , as well as excercise. That should elminate the stress and craving and help you stop the weed for now.

Fragile minds + Weed = BAD IDEA
 
weed is a fucking sinister drug for many peoples head including mine. I swear weed fucks with my anxiety so bad and when i was a pothead it was really just an addiction i despised. I would have never thought i would have these feelings towards weed 7 years ago.
 
do not blame the weed or the MDMA or acid
Just blame the un mature people who takes drugs without a bit of knowledge of themselves or even of the effects produced in their own bodies..

Like my good friend said in a reggae rhythm YOU Can't jump in the water if you can't swim.
 
To the OP:
The first year especially few weeks and months are an extremely trying period for those who would describe themselves as "awkward". It's a high level of social anxiety. When you add in the fact you feel you changed up your eyes on MDMA/the anxiety caused by MDMA use plus starting fresh at school it sounds like that could drive anyone a little nutty.

The point is everyone has given you great advice and from someone who has been there it all sounds too familiar as delusional thoughts. Be good to yourself. LAY OFF THE DRUGS OF ALL KINDS. You're a freshmen no ? There is plenty of time to get all sorts of fucked up in College. Focus on your classes not just for the sake of doing well but it will make you feel good and if you work out or you don't, start ! Two things that will really bolster your confidence and I guarantee some exercise will do a whole lot more for your current brain chemistry then psychedelics will ever do.

And last but not least stay in touch with people. Friends from before College, your roomie, parents, us here at bluelight and most importantly drop in for a quick visit at the student wellness center and just say "you need to chat with someone." It's painless and will help immensely to put things into perspective. There are FAR more people who are feeling just like you are then you'd think. Be well.
 
djtiesto83187 said:
Not trolling and i have taken xanax many times before rolling and rolled hard each time. I dont remember it having any cancellation of the effects .
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that's strange because I've taken it a few times with good tested pills that hit people with higher tolerance than me, never felt it.

Darksidesam said:
someone else reported taking valium close to taking mdma time wise and had a good time.

I personally wouldn't recommend mixing uppers and downers though, its not good for the heart a bit risky id say
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I think I saw several reports of the opposite?

Benzos are often given to people who have OD'd on stimulants. Obviously if you take too many downers, your heart can stop. But it's got nothing to do with stimulants.

Darksidesam said:
Mateeee i have anxiety so ive quit weed for my psychological wellbeing.
I can always come back to it when my minds in a better place.

I recommend L-tyrosine and Rhodiola Rosea , as well as excercise. That should elminate the stress and craving and help you stop the weed for now.

Fragile minds + Weed = BAD IDEA
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djtiesto83187 said:
weed is a fucking sinister drug for many peoples head including mine. I swear weed fucks with my anxiety so bad and when i was a pothead it was really just an addiction i despised. I would have never thought i would have these feelings towards weed 7 years ago.
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Agreed, weed is definitely not for everyone. I would never suggest it anyone use it unless it truly helps them.

keeponkeepnon said:
To the OP:
The first year especially few weeks and months are an extremely trying period for those who would describe themselves as "awkward". It's a high level of social anxiety. When you add in the fact you feel you changed up your eyes on MDMA/the anxiety caused by MDMA use plus starting fresh at school it sounds like that could drive anyone a little nutty.

The point is everyone has given you great advice and from someone who has been there it all sounds too familiar as delusional thoughts. Be good to yourself. LAY OFF THE DRUGS OF ALL KINDS. You're a freshmen no ? There is plenty of time to get all sorts of fucked up in College. Focus on your classes not just for the sake of doing well but it will make you feel good and if you work out or you don't, start ! Two things that will really bolster your confidence and I guarantee some exercise will do a whole lot more for your current brain chemistry then psychedelics will ever do.

And last but not least stay in touch with people. Friends from before College, your roomie, parents, us here at bluelight and most importantly drop in for a quick visit at the student wellness center and just say "you need to chat with someone." It's painless and will help immensely to put things into perspective. There are FAR more people who are feeling just like you are then you'd think. Be well.
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^ good advice here :) it seem's everyone is recommending the same thing. Although I have to say, a single, low dose benzo, may provide some temporary relief and some new perspective. I know when I had problems, a benzo would allow me to reflect on my problems without the anxiety holding me back, allowed me to realize it's all in my head, I just need to relax etc.

OP - If you would like medication for your anxiety while you change your lifestyle, exercise, and recover and taper off the benzos under doctor supervision, you can take an anxiety questionaire, print the results and take them to a psychiatrist for evaluation.

good luck!
 
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Thanks for the great advice guys.

I just got back from the festival and i did drop acid and 4-aco dmt which was probably not a good idea to indulge in more drugs.

however i abstained from MDMA and I gave many light shows to people that helped me socialize with others.

i feel like my anxiety has lessoned from this experience and i no longer think my eyes are really that fucked up looking now.

i am now currently exercising and eating well, and soon when i feel fit to roll again when my brain feels healthy i will see bassnectar and rage face.
 
If the anxiety persists you should see a doctor and tell him about the mdma use so he can make an informed decision, if its already causing this you need to stop. I really hope you dont already have permanent anxiety, this fucked me still years later. I chose and was given paxil which was a lifesaver. I avoided benzos, just another drug to abuse. Instead decided on seroquel, its prob overkill but safe, no recreational use, tolerance, addiction and perfect for the sleep and panic element.
 
Hey :) you said at the begging that you'r Asian, as am I :) so I know how dark your eyes are :). have you ever thought that maybe; before taking MDMA you had never really paid too much attention to your eyes, and due to your paranoia you think they are bigger/ darker?

Please please stop smoking weed if you haven't already :) I didn't and it didn't get me very far either. I really isn't a good idea particularly if you were already a bit shaky in social situations like I was.

Glad your feeling better :)
 
Its really the fear of fear itself which gets to me. Ive felt anxiety and had to just deal with a few minutes of anxiety without xanax and the mdma washed over me and relexed me soon enough. Freinds, socializing, moving around helps,
 
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