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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Drug Sabbatical Support & Appreciation Thread Mk. III: New Beginnings

Cheers :) im guessing spliffs are a daft idea for a month until the nicotine fully clears my system, or should I wait longer? Like fuck am I getting addicted to cigs again.

Realised that whatever gains I am getting from nicci rush and fags for concentration are worthless. Nicci rush is shite compared to most other things and makes you think you are walking against a force if you are walking anywhere. Concentration fags are stupid as cravings were the thing that stopped me concentrating. Instead I stunk of fags. The benefit of being social to other smokers is also non existant as I can still always go outside to them and just not smoke :) Oh and I can afford a bottle of cider and a freddo a day!!
 
YellowPolkaDotHalo said:
I just feel bloody bored when I dont have the occasional drug. I miss innerspace and the strange alter reality I find there.

I'm happy to be off the Tramadol though. That was a bastard.


I hope you ran the nightmare monsters through with your cutlas Cornish.
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Well done Yella. <3

Oddly enough my nightmare involved seeing my lil sister getting knifed by some b*stard and I couldn't save her. :(

Tonite I'll take a cutlass with me.
 
digitalpgs said:
Cheers :) im guessing spliffs are a daft idea for a month until the nicotine fully clears my system, or should I wait longer? Like fuck am I getting addicted to cigs again.
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How often do you normally smoke spliffs?

Maybe start vaping, or eat it. I used to love nibbling a bit hash.

Well done kicking the fags btw.
 
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cheers! about one a day, although about 5 on some weekends, though i've stopped it for the meantime. Me and my mate were planning on baking quite a bit when she gets off her jollys so that could work for the meantime.

May be asking a lot but does anyone know of a portable vape, or something that doesn't inflate a giant bag, know that method is best but i'd rather have something a bit more convenient.
 
Cornishman said:
Lol, god knows when my inevitable relapse is gonna happen.

My master plan is to nurture my equilibrium and stick to psychedelics.

I must say I feel v stressed through not using. (but know full well there's no point in using. It won't get me anywhere).
An LSD trip + much sobriety can only do me good. Hopefully I'll ditch the nicotine too!
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Relapse is inevitable, getting anxious about that will bring it on quicker and for the wrong reasons which most likely will make you feel bad about yourself and relapsing - its a nasty cycle. You'll be taking stuff to cope with your head and emotions not because you want to have fun and recreation. The difference is marked and worth understanding. The more you can cope and find ways to understand the former the more you could enjoy the latter, guilt free and without the issue of slipping into addiction.

Personally I've never found any answers in psychedelics - they've just been another drug / altered state. Its been CBT and mindful meditation that's taught me about my head, state and how to live and manage it. And in that process, I've allowed myself anxiety, head-fuck free, to really enjoy drugs when I want to - letting yourself do that for lolz n' kicks n' not psychological problems is so very freeing...in practise it has the effect of you not needing to take stuff to cope. You'll naturally take less stuff.

Am I making any sense?

I find it difficult to articulate these concepts and ideas via forum posts - I'm better at chatting in RL to real people. Sorry.
 
CBT was the most effective treatment for me, medication is just a something to lean on for a bit.

I agree with Kate in that abstinence alone does very little for the long term issues, it may well be a necessity for your here and now physical and mental health so shouldn't be dismissed but if it's become destructive it is a symptom not the cause. IME it's not drugs that fuck you up, you were already fucked up that's why you were abusing drugs.

I do what I can to avoid drug abuse but I'm not about to beat myself up and fall into the hideous trap of self loathing if I trip up once in a while. I'd be lying to myself if I thought I'd never be getting trollied again but hopefully I'll be doing so for the right reasons in the future.
 
kate said:
Relapse is inevitable, getting anxious about that will bring it on quicker and for the wrong reasons which most likely will make you feel bad about yourself and relapsing - its a nasty cycle. You'll be taking stuff to cope with your head and emotions not because you want to have fun and recreation. The difference is marked and worth understanding. The more you can cope and find ways to understand the former the more you could enjoy the latter, guilt free and without the issue of slipping into addiction.

Personally I've never found any answers in psychedelics - they've just been another drug / altered state. Its been CBT and mindful meditation that's taught me about my head, state and how to live and manage it. And in that process, I've allowed myself anxiety, head-fuck free, to really enjoy drugs when I want to - letting yourself do that for lolz n' kicks n' not psychological problems is so very freeing...in practise it has the effect of you not needing to take stuff to cope. You'll naturally take less stuff.

Am I making any sense?

I find it difficult to articulate these concepts and ideas via forum posts - I'm better at chatting in RL to real people. Sorry.
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I hear you Kate.

After rehab, therapy and N/A meetings I know not to feel bad if I use again.

Being sober is allowing myself to feel 'normal'. But I'm also very isolated and in some ways quite depressed.

I just need to tackle life's issues or I'll just be stuck in the same loop of dead end jobs and drug use/escapism.
I need fulfillment but I don't know where to find it.
 
Cornishman said:
I just need to tackle life's issues or I'll just be stuck in the same loop of dead end jobs and drug use/escapism.
I need fulfillment but I don't know where to find it.
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Learning to cope with life is indeed a life long learning lesson - you don't learn that in one session and that's you sorted, its kinda organic and ongoing. Even us old folks struggle with it as life throws us new challenges.

Why do you need fulfilment , what exactly does that mean to you - who said you needed it ? Have you considered that you maybe have everything you need already?

Expectation is a bitch as is listening to the never-ending train-wreck chatter of the mind...learn to ignore it, its just the mind twittering on as its want to do, us humans are great at non-stop thinking / mind-chatter.... try to remember that isn't the true you. I find that putting that chatter / thinking in its place is quite a relief and somewhat relaxing to just let that go. Behind it all is me a much more chilled and less needy being.

You're here already, you are perfect as you are, this is it. It's ok honest <3
 
kate said:
Learning to cope with life is indeed a life long learning lesson - you don't learn that in one session and that's you sorted, its kinda organic and ongoing. Even us old folks struggle with it as life throws us new challenges.

Why do you need fulfilment , what exactly does that mean to you - who said you needed it ? Have you considered that you maybe have everything you need already?

Expectation is a bitch as is listening to the never-ending train-wreck chatter of the mind...learn to ignore it, its just the mind twittering on as its want to do, us humans are great at non-stop thinking / mind-chatter.... try to remember that isn't the true you. I find that putting that chatter / thinking in its place is quite a relief and somewhat relaxing to just let that go. Behind it all is me a much more chilled and less needy being.

You're here already, you are perfect as you are, this is it. It's ok honest <3
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That's the thing. I'm not anywhere. I have no qualifications, my CV is hopeless. I'm in loads of debt.

I have purposely gone against the grain all my life and it hasn't paid.
Fulfillment is a neverending process. But right now I really feel the urge to establish myself so I can live with reasonable comfort in this western money-centric society.

I know I think too much though! :!

'the richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least'. :)
 
Cornishman said:
That's the thing. I'm not anywhere. I have no qualifications, my CV is hopeless. I'm in loads of debt.

I have purposely gone against the grain all my life and it hasn't paid.
Fulfillment is a neverending process. But right now I really feel the urge to establish myself so I can live with reasonable comfort in this western money-centric society.

I know I think too much though! :!

'the richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least'. :)
Click to expand...

That's an amazing post and quote - there's now't wrong with you! You're more aware and in tune with what's what than your normal person on the street. Life in capitalist western society is a motherfucker of a bitch, but its where we live and learning how to cope and deal with that is part of our bag.

You're awfully judgemental on yourself - give yourself a break and have a look (inside) at your unique talents and abilities. Thinking you have no qualifications or cv can take these away from you, but you're not including your talents either. in this thinking Stop looking at you through negative eyes!

Managing expectations - from others and yourself will help and make you feel better, cause there really is nothing wrong with you, you are a perfect human in a very fucked up society and world.

Don't let other people set the agenda / expectation for what you're to be - that's hard and enough to turn the strongest of us to drugs and self destruction.

There's nothing wrong with you - you're doing really well to get to here and understand what you're facing. It's about time you patted yourself on the back for this achievement <3

Slow little steps, you're going in the right direction, stop thrashing yourself and forgive your humaness!
 
kate said:
That's an amazing post and quote - there's now't wrong with you! You're more aware and in tune with what's what than your normal person on the street. Life in capitalist western society is a motherfucker of a bitch, but its where we live and learning how to cope and deal with that is part of our bag.

You're awfully judgemental on yourself - give yourself a break and have a look (inside) at your unique talents and abilities. Thinking you have no qualifications or cv can take these away from you, but you're not including your talents either. in this thinking Stop looking at you through negative eyes!

Managing expectations - from others and yourself will help and make you feel better, cause there really is nothing wrong with you, you are a perfect human in a very fucked up society and world.

Don't let other people set the agenda / expectation for what you're to be - that's hard and enough to turn the strongest of us to drugs and self destruction.

There's nothing wrong with you - you're doing really well to get to here and understand what you're facing. It's about time you patted yourself on the back for this achievement <3

Slow little steps, you're going in the right direction, stop thrashing yourself and forgive your humaness!
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Thankyou Kate.
I also think there's nowt wrong as such - it's just my circumstances atm.

Btw, you were right in your 1st post: It's hard to articulate oneself on here. But I think we've done pretty well (philosophy and spirituality would be jealous). :D <3
 
Thank you Cornish for understanding me. Tis a rare phenomena! I'm much better at talking to people for real, I'm one of those types where my hands go windmill ott to express myself. Typing is frustrating.

You'll get there, have confidence, don't heed doubters.

Hugs <3
 
It's scary how real everything feels, when you're stopping. It's scary how your emotions are totally fucked up - but it's the real you, trying to come through. Wishing everyone luck, whatever you're kicking. :)
 
Kate & Cornishman. I think I understand what you are talking about. I guess this sort of goes against the grain of the sabbatical thread, but when I was in my honeymoon phase of O-dt use, i felt such a deep sense of openness, gratefulness and appreciation for my life, warts and all. Never felt that before or since. I wish I could re-capture that feeling without being on some drug that totally hit the spot in terms of feeling great for me. The external circumstances of my life haven't changed at all, (apart from no longer being able to get o-dt) the only thing that changes is what's going on in my head.
 
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