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Alcoholism discussion thread v. 5.0

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So [...] ...would [kratom] help me with my shakes and anxiety in the short term until I sort my drinking out?
 
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*snip*removing potential sourcing information ~ Vaya

Perhaps we should take this discussion over to one of the kratom forums?
 
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Nearing the end of day seven of sobriety. Cravings are pretty bad right now. I'm struggling, but doing my best. I got a few things done today that should make things better for me, if it all works out. Need to keep my head up. It's so easy to give up.
 
Hey there, blahman, hang in there. I'm around for an hour or so if you need distraction/talking--shoot me a PM if it'll help.:)
 
Hey, herbavore, I really appreciate it. I think the best thing for me to do is to get some sleep as soon as I can. Sometimes sitting alone at night allows the cravings to really sink in. And then whenever I start to do something (anything, like watch a movie or TV show, play a video game, etc.), it feels like it won't be enjoyable unless I'm drinking while I do it. I've conditioned myself to pair every activity and experience with alcohol, and now it's difficult to pull booze out of the equation. It's the leisure time that leaves room to slip up, so I've been trying to stay busy with the important stuff that I neglected for so long.

Hopefully my mind will be a bit more clear tomorrow. I have a lot to do this week and can't let alcohol get in the way. Hope everyone else is doing well. We can beat this.
 
come2city said:
Perhaps we should take this discussion over to one of the kratom forums?
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Excellent idea, come2city :)
TDS isn't formally (or, really, informally) constructed to discuss these types of topics. Other Drugs, Drug Culture and Basic Drug Discussion may all uniquely contribute to the topic. I'd like to kindly remind you and LaserHosen to please remember this clause of the Bluelight User Agreement:

BLUA said:
[...] Specifically, you may not:

1. Use Bluelight in any way, shape or form for unlawful purposes, including, without limitation: attempting to solicit or obtain contraband substances or substances of a quasi-legal status; or information on how to do so; posting or exchanging any information on ongoing or future criminal activity, or any information which can be construed as discussing such activity; actively encouraging others to engage in criminal activities. Further, the use of ineffective self-incrimination avoidance terms is forbidden. Terms include but are not limited to: SWIM; my dog; my cat; a mouse; my pet hamster.
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It may be worth mentioning that this information holds true regardless of which forum you may be in; it is not a Dark Side-specific boundary.

Thank you... Be well!
:)
~ Vaya
 
And, on a less punitive front (yechh!), I wanted to check back into this thread and just say how proud I am of what I read here. What an honor it is to co-exist amongst those struggling and those who have struggled. Coagulation of past and present calamity has provided the mold in which compassion & empathy can truly cool to create a specimen that is significantly more than the sum of its parts - despite the value that its constituents already possess - and transmitted to so many countless lives.

This thread, the ADT, holds one of the most precious places in my heart as far as long-standing and wonderful conversations go in TDS. Kudos to all of you for, in my brief absence, fostering this environment with such care that it has apparently evolved in character since I last visited.

<3

~ Vaya
 
I just posted about this over at the B&D MXE (methoxetamine) thread, but thought I would share it here. My father has been a hard alcoholic for most of the past 40 years. There have been times when he was able to moderate it with transcendental meditation, smoking cannabis instead, or AA meetings, but those cycles only last a few weeks at most before he gets back on the A train. Once he was introduced to MXE I saw an immediate change in him. It has now been 2 months and in that time he has averaged drinking only 1-2 times a week, very moderately like only a couple beers, whereas before he drank 6-7 days a week, usually straight from the vodka bottle. Yes, now he takes MXE somewhat regularly (but not every day), but by all measurements it has been far healthier for him than the alcohol ever was. He doesn't overdo the MXE either in search of a trip or a hole, just to take the edge off and give him a taste of being outside of sobriety.
 
I've had 3 drinks this month. I had 17 days in a row. Today is day 11. I changed a lot of things in my life - especially who I hang around. I think this is huge. n30phy7e can attest to this :)

I've been having cravings for something, so I'm making plans with a sober friend tonight before I can talk myself out of it.
 
Day 9. Had been feeling pretty good, mood beginning to lift, rolled out of bed for work Monday morning bright eyed and bushy tailed instead of the more usual drag myself out of my pit nursing a weekend's worth of hangover. Even went out on a pub and club crawl through Manchester's gay village Saturday with a coupla dozen friends and really enjoyed it, worries it would be too much for me or I'd feel completely out of it totally unfounded. Got my dancing shoes on and had a good old boogie, feeling slightly smug as this person or that fell by the wayside being a little worse for wear as the night went on. Was disappointed when we finally called it a night in the wee small hours.

I say had been feeling good because the Disulfiram side-effects have kicked in big-time. Felt a little groggy yesterday, feeling god-awful today. Thick head, difficulty concentrating at work, dog-tired and a bit nauseated. Took myself off to bed at 7pm last night and slept through till nearly 8am, almost late for work. Good job it's only 5 minues walk from home. This is why I hate taking the stuff. Absolutely necessary though at the moment, no option but to continue with it and hope the S/Es pass as I get used to it again. On a more positive note I'm surprisingly craving free in the main. Knowing I can't drink no matter what is a big help, making the cravings very easy to dismiss when they do raise their ugly head. No point dwelling on them, and none of that constant battling with myself as to whether I'm gonna give in to them or not. On balance then it's all good. :)
 
This is one thread thats really caught my eye. im 20 and never really got into drinking as teenager, was always for other illegal intoxicants(weed, benzo's , speed, psychdelics). Well after many years of drug abuse, ive made my self depressed and pretty anxious and I can no longer enjoy them like I used to. Just recently ive started drinking redwine alone and I really like it(destroys anxiety and depression it's like taking a valium or xanax). It's almost at the point were i will drink just to defeat being sober and dealing with anxietys and thoughts I have. Ive noticed that there are some nights I really crave a drink and I can see this turning into a problem pretty quickly if im not carefull like my other drug addictions.

Ive also noticed how evil alcohol can be with destroying your inhibitions and what not. Ive come close to destroying friendships over myself getting to drunk and just not thinking. In turn to feel better I will drink to numb the pain.

In saying this im probabaly going to have a few glasses tonight as im not in the happiest mood (probabaly due to not smoking any weed today - short temper) ive also not eaten today apart from a mandarin so a decent feed will be great after a few glasses (another thing with alcohol is the munchies it provides-its better then weed imo)
 
Hey floatingaround. I think a lot of us alcoholics started out that way, self-medicating with alcohol to lift our mood and cut anxiety, social anxiety in particular or anxiety in general. Trouble is the positive effects don't last. Alcohol is a depressant in its own right, and that tends to cause rebound anxiety when the depressive effect wears off so you end up in a self-sustaining cycle of drinking to combat the anxiety caused by the previous night's drinking. Pretty classic trap to fall into that one I think, and one of the roads that lead to dependence. Don't get too used to it. Self-medicating is never the answer anyways. It's just deferring the time when you eventually have to tackle the root causes of anxiety head-on and sober.
 
I had a near death accident recently, and I'm really glad to be alive. I've decided sticking drinking to the weekend is just not gonna cut it. I have to drop this shit for a good long time before I can even think about having even one beer. About 4 or so days sober now and I'm hoping I can go at least 2 weeks to a month without a single drink.
 
Hey guys. I ended up drinking last night. I feel as though I owe you folks an apology. I know that really I'm only doing this to myself, but since I feel like we're all in this together, I want to let you know that I'm going to go right back at it and do my best to remain sober. This is a hiccup in a long road of recovery. To all of you suffering from cravings, take it from me. It is absolutely NOT worth it. I had an open can sitting in front of me and I held it to my mouth dozens of times over the course of hours before I ended up giving in. I thought, "Why not? I'll be alright." I'm not going to be alright if I keep doing this shit.

Sepher - Glad you managed to go out and have a good time without drinking. It's inspiring to me and I'm sure it is to everyone else. Keep it up!

shroomyboom - I understand what it's like for alcohol to put you face to face with death. I'm glad you're okay. Congrats on staying sober these past few days.

floatingaround - I'm sure a lot of us started out the way you did. I know I did. I can relate to what you're saying, and I was the same way at 20 (not that I'm much older or wiser now). As a teenager, alcohol really wasn't my thing. I was much more into weed, pills, and powder. I didn't see the big deal about alcohol until I really got access to it. Of course, at 21, it became a lot easier to get a hold of rather than illicit drugs, and it was a lot less expensive. A lot of us saw booze as the more accessible drug when we were younger, and before we knew it, we resorted to it more than we thought we would. It sounds like you're depending on it more than you'd like to be. Numbing ourselves from depression and anxiety is the "highlight" of alcohol, but over time, it only causes more and more pain. It sucks ass, and it gets out of control pretty quickly. Like Sepher said, its only real use is putting off having to really address your issues and everything that lead you to the drink in the first place.
 
^This^ hard! Blahman, I often think it's the relapses that are most instructive. Seems to be that way for me. So long as we take the lessons we learn from each relapse properly on board and put them to some positive use they are still stages on the road to recovery. It's when we give in to thinking like 'I've relapsed again therefore I can't ever beat this so no point trying any more' that we really let ourselves be beaten. Two steps forward one step back is still a step forward along the road. ;) Keep going mate.
 
Thank you for the encouragement, michael and Sepher. It's amazing how easily a quick relapse can set a bad cycle in motion. Waking up hungover, on instinct I was already wondering how I'm going to get my next drink. If I ever needed any proof that there's no way I can drink alcohol, it's the fact that I can't wake up after a night of drinking without immediately wanting, almost needing, more.

I really wish I could learn how to be completely sober without this gnawing in the back of my mind, this need for some form of intoxication. Even after months of being sober, even when I had sworn off alcohol, there was still this hunger for that. Sometimes it was negligible, sometimes it was overwhelming.
 
how do you get one day of sobriety when all you can think aboutb is how to get fucked up enough to get through the day, i hate having nowhere to go, no private space. and drinking is what put me in this situation in the first place. I seriously need to give this shit a break, i almost got caught this morning taking some absolut out of a local grocery store. though probably 8:00 am isnt realy the best time to steal booze. need to wait til later when theres more customers to keep an eye on
 
michael said:
there is no need to apologize to us and there is nothing to be ashamed of. pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start moving forward again.
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If i can just step in here, great thread, top advice. When i crave i just bang out a load of sit ups and press ups until it hurts it normally does the trick just enough of a distraction to re-focus my mind.
 
Pale Rider said:
If i can just step in here, great thread, top advice. When i crave i just bang out a load of sit ups and press ups until it hurts it normally does the trick just enough of a distraction to re-focus my mind.
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That is great advice that's what I've been doing the past couple days. Just been keeping my mind on work, push ups, and other substances that don't give me a death wish.
 
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