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Random Gibberings CIV: Can't think of a 'funny' title

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Myshkin

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Okay, everyone's more than aware of what kind of thing won't be tolerated, so here we are. Don't spoil it please.

Lovely day isn't it? etc.
 
Mooooooooooooooooooooooorning

It's a grey day here and I've got loads to do. So far it's not getting done.
 
Shitey day and spent all night spewing for some reason or other. Shattered and gonna spend the day in bed writing my essay, which I've finally managed to become enthusiastic about.
 
Mooooooorning. Another day, another load of gibberings. Has anyone got anything interesting planned for today?
 
Mooooooorning. Another day, another load of gibberings. Has anyone got anything interesting planned for today?

Yes, if I can force myself to do it I've got a really interesting job on. I'm procrastinating like a motherfucker though, it's a real shame. How are you doing old bean?
 
Out-procrastinating you, that's for sure. Got a summer project to start, doesn't even pay! Have to 'create artwork' that discusses 'broader social, political & cultural contexts' in relation to the 'Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat' book about neurological disorders. The book was a great read but I'm a little flummoxed as to how to turn it into such artwork.
 
Mistake the book for a different book and do drawings for that one instead?

Kinda shit my brother and his mates used to do at art skool.

Actually they'd be more likely to pick up a wad of paper covered in snail trails and pencilled dicks from the floor of their squalid house and invent a rationale for 'their work' on the bus into college.

I don't recommend this course of action btw, it never did them any good.
 
Mooooooorning. Another day, another load of gibberings. Has anyone got anything interesting planned for today?
I wish :(

I'm currently washing and ironing net curtains. It looked like this when I took them down...

(NSFW for size)
NSFW:
AIR_MV-22_Downwash_Dust_Cloud_lg.jpg


Later I'm shopping for my son's holiday stuff. Somehow I can't get excited about shopping for someone else's holiday.

Then it's the dentist and I've got a hole in my tooth so it'll be pain I have to pay for :(
 
shit day here, grey, drizzly, fuckin rubbish.

Plans? Dunno yet.

Still got to sort me car out, the lad who came round with a chisel and smashed my headlight has abandoned me again, so his great help (to get my brokan bonnet open) involved him coming round, smashing the catch so badly it will now have to be broken off, smashing my headlight, and leaving me with a still closed bonnet and a car with no oil or water....

The man who mistook his mate for a mechanic.
 
Was this the same guy who was going to cut a hole in the bonnet through which you could refill yer various fluids?
 
he was gonna cut the hole to get to the catch. :(

He's just fucked the car, the catch, worse than it was, and broken my headlight, and decided he cba to do it now.
 
Can't you put it on a hill, take off the brake and let it freewheel into something so the front gets fucked up in such a way that insurance will cover it?

This is the type of thing I thought you were always doing in the countryside. Don't disappoint me! Fill it with red diesel first just for authenticity.

And put a dead hiker (you must have a few reasonably fresh ones) behind the wheel for good measure. Birds, stone.
 
This country talk has got my lateral thinking going and I think I've solved your problem. Has one of the horses become detached somehow?
 
I've never done an insurance fraud in my life, I always assume I'll get done.

I was moaning to a mate about having a tiny telly (our telly is 19inch) and he told me to stick a screwdriver in it and wiggle it about till the tv pops, and claim on insurance.

My last car, people kept telling me to torch it to claim on insurance.

I'm just too honest (afraid of getting caught).

I might roll the car into a wall though and see if the bonnet pops open.

I was thinking about driving a couple of miles and calling the AA, but they will just tow me to a fucking garage, nearest of which is about 15 miles away, and they'll charge me a fucking fortune.
 
about 6 months ago maybe...

its a fuckin Renault.

Renault garage would do it, but I'd end up paying them £100.

I'd rather let a few heavy handed Devon blokes try various methods of smashing the car up then have to buy a new one than give £100 to the renault garage.
 
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