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How many girls do you have to ask out for one to say YES

J

Jets

Greenlighter
Joined
May 22, 2012
Messages
15
Hi,

I have a question for all of you guys. Honesty would be appreciated lol. For example, most people meet women through their friends etc. and all that other shit. I am asking this question strictly for your social group, and women that you meet through friends, parties, etc. But not like random women clubs bars type stuff.

How many women that you meet through friends or social life do you ask out for one to say "YES."

I have been a hard time with girls lately. Like I am 18 and a half and have asked out 15 women to just "hang out" (date) in my lifetime, and only 2 out of the 15 said YES. Also, those 2 girls that said yes were like when I was younger (freshman-sophomore in high school). I am now in my first year of college and basically since the last 2 years (since about junior year of high school) I have asked out 13 girls and every single one has said No or made an excuse not to hang out.

To be honest, I don't know if I have low or medium results, because my friends often lie about girls that they hooked up with so I can't get accurate results when trying to get info from my friends. So I have come to the internet to ask you guys, is it normal to get rejected constantly like I am?

I want brutal honesty here not no nice guy bullshit. If I have low results just let me know. Also, your results would be nice to compare to as well.

Please if you can include only like results from your social life like hanging out with friends and randomly meeting a girl, or for example meeting a girl through a friend at a kickback or house party.

Thank you.
 
I have a horrible track record as well. I constantly find myself interested in women who have little to no interest in me. Not only this, but the women I know I could get with...I don't get with, perhaps cause it's too easy, or I simply don't care about them enough.

I'm not one to lie about who I've gotten with. It's not many, but I'm not gonna make shit up just to boost my ego.
 
J.Wallace said:
I have a horrible track record as well. I constantly find myself interested in women who have little to no interest in me. Not only this, but the women I know I could get with...I don't get with, perhaps cause it's too easy, or I simply don't care about them enough.

I'm not one to lie about who I've gotten with. It's not many, but I'm not gonna make shit up just to boost my ego.
Click to expand...

Like for example how many women (that you are interested in haha) do you have to ask out through your social life for one to say yes?
 
Jets said:
Like for example how many women (that you are interested in haha) do you have to ask out through your social life for one to say yes?
Click to expand...

Well, if you want numbers...at the moment I know 2 women I could ask out, as in going on dates, and I know they'd say yes. A few months ago, an old girlfriend of mine wanted to hook up, but that was strictly sex. I'm looking for relationships. However, lately I'm fixated on a girl who, I know is slightly interested, just in no state of mind to get involved. Or so I believe. It's a mess.

I'm not one to ask girls flat out if they want to go out with me. I ease my way in, spending more time together and getting to know each other. More likely to end up in the friend zone this way, but fuck it, It's what I'm comfortable with doing. I have no problems asking a girl if she wants to go see a movie, or grab something to eat though.

Rejection is not one of my strong points. Gotta just keep your head up and remain optimistic.
 
J.Wallace said:
Well, if you want numbers...at the moment I know 2 women I could ask out, as in going on dates, and I know they'd say yes. A few months ago, an old girlfriend of mine wanted to hook up, but that was strictly sex. I'm looking for relationships. However, lately I'm fixated on a girl who, I know is slightly interested, just in no state of mind to get involved. Or so I believe. It's a mess.

I'm not one to ask girls flat out if they want to go out with me. I ease my way in, spending more time together and getting to know each other. More likely to end up in the friend zone this way, but fuck it, It's what I'm comfortable with doing. I have no problems asking a girl if she wants to go see a movie, or grab something to eat though.

Rejection is not one of my strong points. Gotta just keep your head up and remain optimistic.
Click to expand...

Yeah, your doing way better than me bro.
 
2 out of 15 isn't really that bad, if you want better results cast a bigger net; ask more girls. There are plenty out there, especially in college and if you have no shame i'm sure you'll get results. Personally, i'm not one to ask girls anything. I usually just try to feel things out, figure out if they like me and take things from there.

don't try to compare to anyone else, just keep trying over and over again and your process of asking girls out will evolve and improve and gradually your results will improve as well. Unless you're just looking for sex, you are really only looking for 1 great result and the rest don't matter. The bigger question is how many dates with different girls will it take to find someone you actually care about, then how many relationships to find someone you want to marry/have kids with and so on.
 
I don't really ask girls out directly, I just sorta glide into hanging out with them to the point we are close friends and being affectionate and loving towards them.

Out of he girls I've wanted to get closer/intimate with, in the last year or so, I've tried it with maybe 10, and worked it three times successful. But I am into open relationships only, and that might change the results cause of diff set of girls.

Man girl I am with- met via work, we became really close while on a training exercise with the forces, even tho she is a different unit and stuff...but that makes it not frat by the rules up here, so fuckyeah! I just hung with her in the mess, talked smack out about how badass we are, talked about jobs (Med Offr vs M.P. Offr) talked about life in general, we stayed up talking to reville and then hauled our tired asses to the drill square lol. Then after the exercise was over, I asked for her number and said I wanted to see her outside work as friends or something. Almost a year later, I live with her and am petting her legs atm. :P

Other girl. She is a pre-med student and by accident enrolled in some brutal mathematics and physics courses to fill her general science reqs. She was sinking like a stone. One of her friends is also one of mine (a co-worker actually) and he asked me if I could help her/teach her, since I am good at that stuff and in a M.sc program that requires that kind of thing. I agreed. We talked math and shit at first, i.e. Tensor Analysis and Differential Geometry, path integration- tl;dr mathematics of physics. But just hanging out one on one in her dorm room, laying her bed talking, was well, intimate in its own way, and we ended going beyond the Lorenz Transformation and into kissing and petting and etc.

You get the idea, romance and love are often just an emergent property of a complex system called "human social interaction"

Don't be afraid of getting 'friendzoned". What in the fuck is wrong with having a friend? I know you are seeking a GF...but a (good, genuine) friend still a wonderful and awesome thing to have that one should be cherish too.
 
Really depends my friend.. One thing I can assure you is girls are attracted to confidence. When I wanna date a girl, im acting like IT IS going to happen.. and it just does
 
Yeah, a lot of guys are rejected. I don't know stats or anything but I know it happens a lot. Also, 15 isn't really that many girls. Just keep trying :)
And also agreed with rakeone, confidence is key. And presume that she's going to say yes. It's hard to not get nervous and stuff, yeah, but try not to and just be confident! :)
 
When I was single, I think that little bit of fear of being rejected, mixed with the simple fact that I always would come to the realization there are a TON of women out there; I honestly don't think I ever got rejected. This is not a toot to my horn by ANY means, I was probably too passive in a lot of scenarios that ended up with me leaving money on the table, but it was just my style. I'd be myself, and I think I always had a pretty damn good grasp if a women was diggin' me or not...


Like Rake said, confidence will go a long way. Unless you are just terribly bad at reading into a women, or entirely too aggressive, you should be able to dodge most rejections.
 
maybe you're taking the wrong approach. I don't think you should ask girls out. I just happens, as in you get together to study then end up having dinner then end up spending the night or some crap like that, idk I haven't had sex in so long that I forgot how it's done anyway...
 
Yeah don't just ask someone out off the cuff. Build some rapport between you first, just an enjoyable conversation or two, get a bit of a 'spark'.Otherwise she is thinking, I don't know him really, and he doesn't really know me... so why is he asking me out?
 
Honestly, I think I may have a fear of rejection, so I have never asked ANY girl out.

When I have gotten with a girl, it has always been with them approaching me. Thus, giving 0 rejections.
 
OP, I admire your perseverance.

You have to be mindful of how you're going about this. From your initial approach to how you ask the question. If you're just walking up to them and ten seconds into the convo you ask, "So liek u wanna go steady? LOL" that's a recipe for failure. I exaggerated for effect, but you get the idea.

To the OP and above poster, you have to learn and take something away each time you talk with women with the intent of sparking interest. You may not get a number (or worse, look like a total idiot in the process) but at least you gain experience for next time. That is, as long as you get something out of those "NO's".
 
Just start firing the question out on the street, statistically you'll eventually nab one.
 
Try to not rush into things, all girls don't want to be wined and dined at first, in fact most relationships I've been in started with taking it slow, becoming friends, then FWB then exclusive.
 
Don't try to put on some snazzy front and ask them out directly, girls don't like that. All the suggestions above are good. What I'd suggest is to not go in with expectations (for example, going in with the expectation you're going to get a number, hook up with someone, have sex), because you'll always be disappointed, and like rangrz said, there's nothing wrong with being friend zoned. Recently over the past couple months at bars/parties I'm 5/8 for asking girls out for coffee. Dinner/hanging out might be too intimate for a first meeting/date with some girls. If you go the route of other guys here, and develop friendships beforehand, it's very easy to get "sure things", but also easy to misread someone if you're not too good at that type of thing. Just be confident, be yourself, try to get to know them a bit beforehand, then ask them out for coffee/tea. I think your numbers are slightly low, but no one gets the girl 100% of the time. Also, you're 18 and a half; girls can still be slightly cliquey at that age. Try to socialize with more groups of people, good luck.
 
I always have the feeling Americans (and probably a lot of other countries as well) date in an entirely different way from the people in my country (Netherlands). For example, on MTV there's this show Disaster Date. It seems totally ridiculous to me. Those people don't even know the girls/guys they're on a date with. And also in a lot of movies it seems like when a guy asks a girl out, most of the time they don't know each other very well but are just interested in them because they ook good (not saying looks aren't important, just that there's no initial connection at all). Why go on a date then? Is this really how you guys date people? Normally I get to know girls through regular life like parties and friends and then only when it's obvious we're both interested in each other (or maybe not always both but at least we know each other pretty well), I, or the girl, ask each other out. Not just random girls that I think are hot. Also, you don't always HAVE to go on a date. Sometimes it just slowly builds and you can fall in love et cetera. Well, maybe I just got the wrong view since reading this thread I don't seem to be the only one who looks at it thit way. But to answer you question, at the times where I did ask a girl out (about eight), none ever rejected me but I knew most of them fairly well. I have rejected some girls who asked me out but I didn't really know them and getting to know people on dates seems kind of strange to me because you both know you're kind of checking if the other person would be fit for a possible relationship with you. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

My advise would be to just go to parties with nice people and chat up people you don't know. An not in a way like this girl is hot, I'm going to show her how awesome I am and then maybe she'll go on a date with me tomorrow. Just a nice chat, get to know a lot of people, maybe sometimes ask for someones number or facebook if you like each other and then there's always some people who stick and you become friends with or maybe more than that. :)

PS. I'm 20

EDIT: Oh, and some tips for dates: 1. Be confident as hell. Really, girls feel (and love) it. If you just act confident but really aren't it doesn't work. You HAVE to be it and yeah, that sucks because it's something that's hard to do. It is however not impossible. If you just keep trying and push yourself, there is going to be a moment where something in your mind changes and you will stop giving a fuck. Second tip: let the girl do the talking. A friend once told me this when I asked him for advise. I didn't worry about having to find things to talk about and he was so right. Girls love talking and usually lead the conversations. Just engage in them and you won't have to do anything yourself. Awesome.
 
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