Withdrawling via Oxy, Not Doing Good

hondarider1816

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 14, 2008
Messages
19
Location
So.Calif
I thought I'd post here since this is the only place I can really go for assistance and to share my story. I've been using about 160mg x 4times a day *been on this dosage about 3 years, and honestly brought this apon myself by going threw my script too quickly. I'm due in 10 days, but I last dosed ~50 hours ago. I'm typing this laying in my bathroom and extreme depressed as well as pretty much over this leg kicking habit that's been keeping me up this entire time. I've done research on how to cope (Immodium, staying hydrated, and even tried gabapentin, benadryl, etc). Nothing has knocked down the slightest notch of these symptoms and I'm losing it mentally (not much else to lose physically as my body is extreme agitated & twitchy).

Not sure what else to do, but I just want someone elses input as I'm laying here crying... I've never really been in this bad of shape during W/ds.

:(
 
Last edited:
I thought I'd post here since this is the only place I can really go for assistance and to share my story. I've been using about 160mg x 4times a day *been on this dosage about 3 years, and honestly brought this apon myself by going threw my script too quickly. I'm due in 10 days, but I last dosed ~50 hours ago. I'm typing this laying in my bathroom and extreme depressed as well as pretty much over this leg kicking habit that's been keeping me up this entire time. I've done research on how to cope (Immodium, staying hydrated, and even tried gabapentin, benadryl, etc). Nothing has knocked down the slightest notch of these symptoms and I'm losing it mentally (not much else to lose physically as my body is extreme agitated & twitchy).

Not sure what else to do, but I just want someone elses input as I'm laying here crying... I've never really been in this bad of shape during W/ds.

=/

having gone through this all i can say is man i feel for ya... oxy is a difficult drug to go throught precipitated WD's and you are about to go into the third day which is the one where you feel like ur gonna die (except you know that wont...) just remember that although this next day is gonna be worse that it has already its day 4 where you start to get a little bit of relief... it there is any possible way to get your hands on some benzos you might try to get some to get you by for the next day...

keep posting if you need to.. since ur not gonna be sleeping for a while anyway...
 
I might be capable of doing so, depending if on doctor. Just leave it as, I've been up a few days and can not sleep. I have been scripted soma in the past (if I could, Id take it and the sedation would knock mme out and be capable of at least some sleep) but he does not like it, as for that reason. It'll be near impossible to be capable of driving or if a friend drove me, be able to make it there without having to use the restroom every two seconds.

I haven't eaten at all as I will literally vomit everything including a SIP of water within a minute of trying to get something down. Is there a recommended dosage of immodium I should take, as my tolerance is as high as it is?
 
i actually never took immodium but i have had friends take it and they reported that it did help... the dosage most people report is in the neighborhood of 10mg-20mg...

i would say dont bother leaving the house for benzos unless you were going to go to the ER to get them... last time my friend WD'd thats what he did (of course this is if you have insurance of course...) and they set him up with some valium to get through the worst of it... otherwsie its the old "call in any favor you can" thing to get someone to bring you whatever benzos they can round up...

of course this is the irony about kicking.. right when friends are needed the most is when we have have been alienating ourselves/screwing them over/etc... hopefully your situation is not this bad...

also remember.. hot baths...
 
I have been in and out of the shower, very hot showers that is. Just sitting in my shower chair letting it rain over me, been playing music in the backround constantly this entire time to try and distract me. Unfortunately I dropped a lot of friend in my life and only the close two I can think of a.) Cannabis smoker only (I dont smoke cannabis and couldn't due to random drug screen from my pm doc) b.) My friend of 15 years, uses Oxycodone as well, but is out of town until late in the month.

ER's seem to look at me funny, being the age of 21, fractured L7 lumbar from an IED vehicle accident in Iraq and going in one time in the past for vomiting... leading to not being capable of taking my medication thus putting me into a withdrawal. They don't want to touch me or help unless they were to call my local doctor. I have insurance but am trying to stay away from bothering anyone in the medical field as I don't want to hassle them, have a larger record of information, and also due to the fact I'm 100% unsociable in the public if I were to be in it. I am normally the life of the party but I would have a difficult time of even having a basic conversation of my friend of many years if it came down to it at the moment.

And the backpain is just outstanding to where I do crawl at times to get around the house, if I were to move. Only if I learned self control a little better, I was getting better at it but now I'm in this situation. I feel like a complete idiot.
 
I have been in and out of the shower, very hot showers that is. Just sitting in my shower chair letting it rain over me, been playing music in the backround constantly this entire time to try and distract me. Unfortunately I dropped a lot of friend in my life and only the close two I can think of a.) Cannabis smoker only (I dont smoke cannabis and couldn't due to random drug screen from my pm doc) b.) My friend of 15 years, uses Oxycodone as well, but is out of town until late in the month.

ER's seem to look at me funny, being the age of 21, fractured L7 lumbar from an IED vehicle accident in Iraq and going in one time in the past for vomiting... leading to not being capable of taking my medication thus putting me into a withdrawal. They don't want to touch me or help unless they were to call my local doctor. I have insurance but am trying to stay away from bothering anyone in the medical field as I don't want to hassle them, have a larger record of information, and also due to the fact I'm 100% unsociable in the public if I were to be in it. I am normally the life of the party but I would have a difficult time of even having a basic conversation of my friend of many years if it came down to it at the moment.

And the backpain is just outstanding to where I do crawl at times to get around the house, if I were to move. Only if I learned self control a little better, I was getting better at it but now I'm in this situation. I feel like a complete idiot.


first of all *dont* feel like an idiot... very few people *ever* learn self control with opiates... I actually did learn to completely control opiates but it took me 15 years.. and i have only met one other person in my life that had that control and it took him like 15 years as well... and i think i might be the luckiest guy in the world to have this control now...

that sucks about your back.. do you just have the fractured lumbar or herniated/ruptured discs too?.. my GF has a herniated disc which was what led her to start doing dope... i see the pain she goes through so i can imagine what you have to deal with..


anyway yeah i dont know how they handle it in CA but here in chicago if you go into the ER and tell them you are in precipitated withrdawl they take you right in and start pumping you full of valium... at least here (and i believe in many other cities).. perscription opiate addiction has become such a problem that the ER has a set procedure to deal with it..
 
I really appreciate you responding so quickly with the positive thought clubkid, seriously. This conversation alone is keeping myself occupied as well as an education. I've heard that before from my close friend as hes quite a bit older then me, he said almost the same thing you did... "it took me years to control my intake on pills"

It's ruptured, they did a quick fix at a local base camp. After a leaving the military I followed treatment threw my doctor and he took over the situation. I'm awaiting another surgery to fix the mess that the medics had done in the foeign country, but before I get torn up more on the inside I need to control my intake. Being 21 it's seen as he's young n irresponsible but I can see it being done with enough will power.

In the meantime I just need to get over this hurdle for 10 more days and I'll be back in relief. And a note on the Er's out here, basically people (as myself) have trained Emergency Docs to basically do anything in their right mind to cancel current or future medication regimens if they were to come in as a w/d. And being in SoCal if your on any dosage of OxyER (At least for me and a few others) you never see doctors eyes open so wide and basically turn the other cheek saying there isn't anything we can do. Then give a lecture saying, which I've heard assuming because of my age "I wouldn't put you on ANY dosage of this meication if your leg was shot up or blown off" Even with MRI's/Xrays to prove everything.
 
I really appreciate you responding so quickly with the positive thought clubkid, seriously. This conversation alone is keeping myself occupied as well as an education. I've heard that before from my close friend as hes quite a bit older then me, he said almost the same thing you did... "it took me years to control my intake on pills"

It's ruptured, they did a quick fix at a local base camp. After a leaving the military I followed treatment threw my doctor and he took over the situation. I'm awaiting another surgery to fix the mess that the medics had done in the foeign country, but before I get torn up more on the inside I need to control my intake. Being 21 it's seen as he's young n irresponsible but I can see it being done with enough will power.

In the meantime I just need to get over this hurdle for 10 more days and I'll be back in relief. And a note on the Er's out here, basically people (as myself) have trained Emergency Docs to basically do anything in their right mind to cancel current or future medication regimens if they were to come in as a w/d. And being in SoCal if your on any dosage of OxyER (At least for me and a few others) you never see doctors eyes open so wide and basically turn the other cheek saying there isn't anything we can do. Then give a lecture saying, which I've heard assuming because of my age "I wouldn't put you on ANY dosage of this meication if your leg was shot up or blown off" Even with MRI's/Xrays to prove everything.

oh yeah.. ive gotten that from doctors when i was on methadone.. i remember getting my wisdom teeth pulled (which is like an automatic vicodin script) and the doctor got all wierd and wrote me a script for ibuprofen.... so i hear ya... i actually dont even use opiates anymore.. my brain literally now just doesnt give a shit about them one way or the other... i mean if i hurt myself i can take a script for the pain but my brain doesnt care about getting high anymore (well off opiates anyway...)

what surgery are you going in for.. are they going to do the spinal fusion or the metal plate (e.g. caspar plate revision)?

and no problem.. ive got a bit b4 i gotta work so i dont mind keeping ya occupied till then...
 
He mentioned something about setting me up with a surgeon that is going to install a Titanium Plate (I believe that's the metal they use, not 100% certain) and a few screws. I haven't met or spoken with the surgeon as its another 5-6 months away. I'm not sure on the professional medical term but when I do know and pay attention to the name I'll be sure to let you know.

Sad thing is I would normally be worried about being awake or asleep for the surgery (waking up in the middle of it, etc) but I'm more scared of what my medication tolerance will be, dosage I'll be at, and how well I'll be capable of control. I'm sure the discomfort won't be worse after the procedure then what I am experiencing right now. You would think right? Aside from having to learn to walk again, etc
 
Btw I'm impressed and glad to hear that you don't crave the medication nor are easily capable of wanting that feeling. Your a lucky one to be capable of not caring about it. I'm more worried (not now but later on in life) about remembering how 'good' this drug felt when I'm having a life changing expierence. Such as having a child one day, or getting married then while in the middle of the moment thinking... damn this is a good time but.... It'd be better on blah blah blah or being in my friends basement getting high.

I've had that thought run by me a few times. Because the thing about drugs is, they make you feel too good. And when *insert drug of choice* is in your system there isn't much of a better feeling in the world, at least for myself.
 
This is not directed towards you op:

One thing ive noticed about myself and other addicts is we crate pain in our bodies just to justify taking drugs. Its like we create problems when they arnt there. I think alot of you know what Im talking about. Addicts take an injury and make it last their whole lives just to get drugs.
 
Well just a update, I'm still here in the bathroom... The vomiting is getting a little out of hand and I found some Zofran (Under tongue disolvable anti-nasuea med) with no luck. It kind of to the point where even if I were to get my script fixed, etc and I attempt to take it that it will not be able to get into my system due to the vomiting.

I should have said no to getting on this drug in the beginning of it all. Shits the devil in a bottle. Controlling my life.
 
<3<3<3 honda I am so happy you made it through to today. The worst will be over soon. It WILL. I have to say imodium does help. Make sure you are taking a lot of it. I would say 10 pills every 4 hours and don't space the pills out take them all at once. It really does work. If it isn't working you need to take more imodium.
 
You're basically over the worst of it, stick with it. I'm on day eight of methadone kick and I'm feeling good. Why are you on such a massive dosage so long after the incident? Surely that's irresponsible doctoring? I'm in the UK and NO ONE gets dosed like that.
 
Take the time necessary to give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back, man. You're up against a lot, hondarider - Yet, instead of folding, you are doing all that you can with what you have. Very simply, hat is all that you can do.

I feel for you. I truly do. :\

Being an opiate addict for 10 years, I have experienced withdrawal from all types of opiates and opioids. The torrent of emotions that accompanies the distressing physicality of the experience really amplifies the pain. I am very impressed with all of the tactics you have used already to keep your body as much in check as possible.

Might I suggest a liquid diet? You won't be able to hold any type of solid food for a few days with the dosages you were taking.

Despite the fact that you're going to have insomnia, do your best to lay in bed. It's sort of akin to having normal insomnia (which I do, in spades!!). The basic idea is that, although you're not actually sleeping, you're body is still resting. Let your eyes close - they must be sore from crying :( It breaks me heart when I hear that someone is actively withdrawing from these insidious chemicals.

My father, who is a clinical psychologist and employs this technique in practice, taught me a breathing exercise I hadn't really considered.
Typically, I inhale for 4 seconds through my nostrils, hold the air in my upper chest for 6 seconds, and then (as though I were blowing out a candle) exhale for 10-12 seconds (this is usually how long it takes for me to expel all the air in my lungs). Then repeat.
But my father said to me, "Why on Earth are you holding it in your upper chest, with your diaphragm constricted?"
I told him that I believed holding air in my upper chest would increase the oxygen diffusion while the air was contained.
HE suggested trying to breathe rhythmically (as I had been), but instead, to breathe in such that my stomach kind of expands, or puffs out. He claimed that THIS method of rhythmic breathing was more practical and effective than mine (which I had learned from Kundalini Yoga Meditation), because rhythmic breathing his way increased the levels of CO2 in the blood, thereby inducing tranquility.
Well, wouldn't you know it... it works. It really does.

Keep us updated - If the conversation in this thread is helping to distract you, then I encourage you not only to check back frequently, but also to explore more thoroughly the rest of what Bluelight has to offer by way of different forums. Healthy Living and Sex, Love & Relationships, aside from The Dark Side, are my favorite forums to explore because of the diversity of discussion. It can keep me well occupied for hours and hours.

And, trust me, we're happy to have you here, in The Dark Side - Despite the terrible circumstances that brought you to create this thread in the first place. Your struggle is your own - and you will be victorious. Worthy to mention, however, that your struggle is someone else's inspiration. Enduring pain like this without copping something illegal on the street or begging others for drugs is, at the very least, both impressive and courageous.

When it's over, you're going to feel like the survivor of an airplane crash. The world might likely look a little different - and so, too, might your attitude towards decreasing your oxycodone dose (even a little), or (provided that you legitimately need it, which it sounds overwhelmingly that you do!) switching to an opioid analgesic that requires you to consume less drug per day with a longer duration of action. As long as you're not abusing the drugs, I might even recommend a Fentanyl patch so that you're not constantly gobbling down enough oxycodone, per day, to kill 2-3 opiate-naive people. And aside from all that, if it takes that much oxycodone to quell your symptoms, then there's even more compelling evidence that a medication switch is justified.

I wish you well - I care that you get well. You're going to need to just go through the motions while your body achieves equilibrium again. But for now, as my friend used to say to me in my earliest days of getting sober (I was a mess), "You're okay. You're safe. For right now, you're okay and you're safe. And you are loved." Boy. Did that ever get me through some tough times.

Please update us as soon as you can, my fellow Bluelighter!
<3 Wishing you the speediest of recoveries<3

~ Vaya
 
This is not directed towards you op:

One thing ive noticed about myself and other addicts is we crate pain in our bodies just to justify taking drugs. Its like we create problems when they arnt there. I think alot of you know what Im talking about. Addicts take an injury and make it last their whole lives just to get drugs.


I don't know about anyone else but I can totally relate to that sececaRD. Very well put...actually doing this myself.

hondarider- you got more motivation than me, and i have all respect for you. I can relate to your issue...only im a pussy and went to the ER for more medicine. But honestly keep up the motivation, and this is just what my doctor wanted to do to me, was slowly reduce my intake....So when you get your script...maybe instead of your 160mgs 4xs you can minus a pill every 4 times a day for like a week. And slowly bring it down if you have about 5 months to wait for your surg. you got plenty of time to try and work on bringing your doesage down.(just an idea) But I know its easier said that done, cause trust me, you give me opiates and i can hang on to them and only use them for a rainy day, them shits would be gone up. Im greedy when it come to them. and I can't control myself. But i love what they do. GOOD LUCK TO YOU
 
hondarider...wow...you are doing sooo welll...I too have done this and i was similar dosages to you also....i did c.t. once or twice at that level and it was dreadful...For you to have to go through all this withdrawal only to get another script in 10 days when you will be over the worst?...I can tell you need said script very very much..And i also understand your fears of what will become of your pain threshold once surg is apon you..How are you gong to keep the pain at bay post opp?...Speak about it to your Dr asap....I am on methadone and just had a few wisdom teeth removed last week..all i got was antibiotics for the pain...As the dentist dug around to get the root and made severe tissue trauma on one tooth...I was in agony all Easter and as im on methadone i dont deserve pain medication anymore so no choice but to suffer in silence...yet again...
I hope you can come up with something to get you through till your script OP...It seems utterly stupid to have to put your body through this horrendous pain for nothing!...Its not like you are detoxing or even comming off your meds really...you will be on them for a while to come...Dont stuff up tho dude and give them any reason to take them away..


OP killer has a really good point IMHO in the last few lines....hes right dude...can you try and get it down a bit?
 
Take the time necessary to give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back, man. You're up against a lot, hondarider - Yet, instead of folding, you are doing all that you can with what you have. Very simply, hat is all that you can do.

I feel for you. I truly do. :\

Being an opiate addict for 10 years, I have experienced withdrawal from all types of opiates and opioids. The torrent of emotions that accompanies the distressing physicality of the experience really amplifies the pain. I am very impressed with all of the tactics you have used already to keep your body as much in check as possible.

Might I suggest a liquid diet? You won't be able to hold any type of solid food for a few days with the dosages you were taking.

Despite the fact that you're going to have insomnia, do your best to lay in bed. It's sort of akin to having normal insomnia (which I do, in spades!!). The basic idea is that, although you're not actually sleeping, you're body is still resting. Let your eyes close - they must be sore from crying :( It breaks me heart when I hear that someone is actively withdrawing from these insidious chemicals.

My father, who is a clinical psychologist and employs this technique in practice, taught me a breathing exercise I hadn't really considered.
Typically, I inhale for 4 seconds through my nostrils, hold the air in my upper chest for 6 seconds, and then (as though I were blowing out a candle) exhale for 10-12 seconds (this is usually how long it takes for me to expel all the air in my lungs). Then repeat.
But my father said to me, "Why on Earth are you holding it in your upper chest, with your diaphragm constricted?"
I told him that I believed holding air in my upper chest would increase the oxygen diffusion while the air was contained.
HE suggested trying to breathe rhythmically (as I had been), but instead, to breathe in such that my stomach kind of expands, or puffs out. He claimed that THIS method of rhythmic breathing was more practical and effective than mine (which I had learned from Kundalini Yoga Meditation), because rhythmic breathing his way increased the levels of CO2 in the blood, thereby inducing tranquility.
Well, wouldn't you know it... it works. It really does.

Keep us updated - If the conversation in this thread is helping to distract you, then I encourage you not only to check back frequently, but also to explore more thoroughly the rest of what Bluelight has to offer by way of different forums. Healthy Living and Sex, Love & Relationships, aside from The Dark Side, are my favorite forums to explore because of the diversity of discussion. It can keep me well occupied for hours and hours.

And, trust me, we're happy to have you here, in The Dark Side - Despite the terrible circumstances that brought you to create this thread in the first place. Your struggle is your own - and you will be victorious. Worthy to mention, however, that your struggle is someone else's inspiration. Enduring pain like this without copping something illegal on the street or begging others for drugs is, at the very least, both impressive and courageous.

When it's over, you're going to feel like the survivor of an airplane crash. The world might likely look a little different - and so, too, might your attitude towards decreasing your oxycodone dose (even a little), or (provided that you legitimately need it, which it sounds overwhelmingly that you do!) switching to an opioid analgesic that requires you to consume less drug per day with a longer duration of action. As long as you're not abusing the drugs, I might even recommend a Fentanyl patch so that you're not constantly gobbling down enough oxycodone, per day, to kill 2-3 opiate-naive people. And aside from all that, if it takes that much oxycodone to quell your symptoms, then there's even more compelling evidence that a medication switch is justified.

I wish you well - I care that you get well. You're going to need to just go through the motions while your body achieves equilibrium again. But for now, as my friend used to say to me in my earliest days of getting sober (I was a mess), "You're okay. You're safe. For right now, you're okay and you're safe. And you are loved." Boy. Did that ever get me through some tough times.

Please update us as soon as you can, my fellow Bluelighter!
<3 Wishing you the speediest of recoveries<3

~ Vaya

In reguards to the Fentynal patches they put me on the 200mcg/hr (If thats the correct way of writing it) and within 24hours of the patch being on my skin my entire chest was completely red and itching. I was forced to stab an epi-pen in my thigh due to my throat swelling heavily from some sort of weird reaction. The doctor said it was strange to have happen, but occurances do happen.

It's still difficult keeping anything down and if I have symptoms from becoming too dehydrated I will need to check in and get an IV because I know I'm extremely dehydrated. Opiates are a blessing to have for pain, but with the way they work it's extremely difficult not to run out early... but this time was the worst by putting myself 10 days before the refill date. Bad decision but then again I'm sure others suffer from the same issue.

Thank you for the insight and breathing techniques I'm going to try those. Hopefully it will slow down my sky rocketing heart date. I appreciate the fact that even though you do not know me, you do have concern for my situation and are willing to share advice. This is a shitty position to be in.

You're basically over the worst of it, stick with it. I'm on day eight of methadone kick and I'm feeling good. Why are you on such a massive dosage so long after the incident? Surely that's irresponsible doctoring? I'm in the UK and NO ONE gets dosed like that.

I'm on a large dosage due to my tolerance skyrocketing quickly because of my fast metabolism and the doctor being a little happy when writing scripts.

I don't know about anyone else but I can totally relate to that sececaRD. Very well put...actually doing this myself.

hondarider- you got more motivation than me, and i have all respect for you. I can relate to your issue...only im a pussy and went to the ER for more medicine. But honestly keep up the motivation, and this is just what my doctor wanted to do to me, was slowly reduce my intake....So when you get your script...maybe instead of your 160mgs 4xs you can minus a pill every 4 times a day for like a week. And slowly bring it down if you have about 5 months to wait for your surg. you got plenty of time to try and work on bringing your doesage down.(just an idea) But I know its easier said that done, cause trust me, you give me opiates and i can hang on to them and only use them for a rainy day, them shits would be gone up. Im greedy when it come to them. and I can't control myself. But i love what they do. GOOD LUCK TO YOU

I will definately be reducing my intake on my own as that is a VERY high dosage to be on for anyone. I can completely relate to you on the self control issue with the opiates. I have a new script and look at the devil (the bottle) as I'm walking out of the pharmacy and thinking *I can take an extra one on top of my normal dosage, and just take one less tomorrow* That never works for me.


hondarider...wow...you are doing sooo welll...I too have done this and i was similar dosages to you also....i did c.t. once or twice at that level and it was dreadful...For you to have to go through all this withdrawal only to get another script in 10 days when you will be over the worst?...I can tell you need said script very very much..And i also understand your fears of what will become of your pain threshold once surg is apon you..How are you gong to keep the pain at bay post opp?...Speak about it to your Dr asap....I am on methadone and just had a few wisdom teeth removed last week..all i got was antibiotics for the pain...As the dentist dug around to get the root and made severe tissue trauma on one tooth...I was in agony all Easter and as im on methadone i dont deserve pain medication anymore so no choice but to suffer in silence...yet again...
I hope you can come up with something to get you through till your script OP...It seems utterly stupid to have to put your body through this horrendous pain for nothing!...Its not like you are detoxing or even comming off your meds really...you will be on them for a while to come...Dont stuff up tho dude and give them any reason to take them away..

It is frustrating as I only want to go threw this once, it’d be nice if I wasn’t needing it for pain control and just be finished with it in my life already. I’m going to try and continue my acupuncture appts/ physical therapy and lower my tolerance myself (stock pile extras for surgery). It’ll be difficult but most likely a necessary choice. I will be speaking with him about some things.


OP killer has a really good point IMHO in the last few lines....hes right dude...can you try and get it down a bit?

It is frustrating as I only want to go threw this once, it’d be nice if I wasn’t needing it for pain control and just be finished with it in my life already. I’m going to try and continue my acupuncture appts/ physical therapy and lower my tolerance myself (stock pile extras for surgery). It’ll be difficult but most likely a necessary choice. I will be speaking with him about some things.



Currently: I'm moving slowly, preferably crawling from the bathroom to my bedroom. I keep trying to doze off but this foot kicking, sweats, and racing thoughts (is that a rare thing to encounter?) is keeping me awake. The vomiting and toliet usage is still very consistent. Tomorrow I might have an opportunity for my friend to help me out until my due date, the pain, cravings, and the overall situations of not eating/ losing weight (I'm already skinny, can't afford to do this)/ and not keeping much down for long will most likely push me to this for possible relief. Even if it were to take 1 x 80mg oxycodone/day will this diminish devil that’s trying to break out of my skin?
 
The fact that you can be bothered to reply to all those messages tells me you must be staying strong.

Definitely recommend the rhythmic breathing thing if possible. I sort of do this without thinking about it when I feel my emotions running away with me and I begin to lose control. On day one of my kick (when I wasn't really ill) my emotions were all over the place and I essentially had a tantrum about something really minor. I went and curled up in bed and just concentrated on my breathing. The next thing I knew I was waking up and I'd had a nights sleep.

When I was on 80mg of methadone a day I was so terrified of the withdrawal it kept me from using it too quickly (also you have to go through a process of gaining trust before you're even allowed a script the let's you take methadone away from the dispensary, and this encourages sensible usage).

I know you're an addict, and you don't want to be getting less drugs, but I would STRONGLY suggest changing your doctor, he/she is clearly fucking shit at their job and doesn't care about their patients.
 
hondarider...wow...you are doing sooo welll...I too have done this and i was similar dosages to you also....i did c.t. once or twice at that level and it was dreadful...For you to have to go through all this withdrawal only to get another script in 10 days when you will be over the worst?...I can tell you need said script very very much..And i also understand your fears of what will become of your pain threshold once surg is apon you..How are you gong to keep the pain at bay post opp?...Speak about it to your Dr asap....I am on methadone and just had a few wisdom teeth removed last week..all i got was antibiotics for the pain...As the dentist dug around to get the root and made severe tissue trauma on one tooth...I was in agony all Easter and as im on methadone i dont deserve pain medication anymore so no choice but to suffer in silence...yet again...
I hope you can come up with something to get you through till your script OP...It seems utterly stupid to have to put your body through this horrendous pain for nothing!...Its not like you are detoxing or even comming off your meds really...you will be on them for a while to come...Dont stuff up tho dude and give them any reason to take them away..


OP killer has a really good point IMHO in the last few lines....hes right dude...can you try and get it down a bit?

Sounds awful, why can't the denstist put you on nitrous oxide while working on you?
 
Top