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Divorce

purplefirefly said:
Believe me, if I did know her I would be telling her how bad she is fucking up lol I'm not one to keep my opinion to myself. It took me a long time to be able to point the finger at myself, I'm not an easy person to be with. I at least try to recognize my faults too rather than constantly pointing my finger. I've gone through a lot, the very gates of hell in fact, but I know I've come out a better person for it. I tried to do what was right when I could have spent my entire time being a bitch, I had no interest in that though.
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lolz.

yea, i'm pretty...well...uuhhh....we can call it "complicated", myself. moving forward, with any sort of relationship, i tend to try and sabatoge the fuck out of it up front, laying all of my faults on the table in the beginning.

i'm a nice guy, with a huge heart, but i have PLENTY of flaws. and i'm totally ok with that.
 
which is precisely why I have limited the liquor in my house during this time and junk food...I would be a fat bloated fuck at the end of it hahahaha
 
man, I don't have much to add but I want to lend my support to my friends in here going through rough times with their divorce. you are all such great people - PI, CS, Busty, and I don't want to get all soapy here, but it sucks to see you guys going through so much Earth-shattering drama. CS and Busty - you sound like amazing fathers, and your kids are so lucky to have such a great influence in their lives. PI - honestly you and your hubby always came off as polar opposites - you deserve a fun man who is as adventerous and as "perpetually" young-at-heart, like yourself!

just to say it again - you all are the best of the best when it comes to us bi-peds. keep your collective chins up!
 
Thanks dude. You are not the first person to say that but J and I worked well together. Please come to see me this summer. I think I might be able to afford a payment plan to replace the guest bedroom furniture. If not I have an air mattress that will work for you and your lady.
 
For those who have been to divorce court....

did you have to prove with written documentation that you were living apart during the required period of time?
I know we need a witness to testify to the fact.

My husband informed me via email that 6 months was July not June as I asked him to research what online paperwork we should purchase. We are not using lawyers. I was all set to file June 21st and wish to continue to do so. I said we could say we were living separate since the end of Dec. The separation agreement is dated Jan 19...we say he came back to sign this, collect his things, and went back from CT.
 
Is he trying to pull something? This was a null issue for me, because we hadn't lived together for years before our divorce was official. We did not need any witness signatures or anything. We went the cheap, quick route too with no lawyers and just filling out paperwork.
 
Nah. I sent him some links to check out and said I was filing June 21st as I arranged a 1/2 day work off 2 months ago.
I really have the summer solstice set nicely in my mind as my date of soon release :)

So you never went to court, Lysis? What website did you use for the paperwork? There is a site that offered to take care of everything with no court appearance. Virginia law requires a witness to attest to the fact of the 6 month separation but a phone statement works too according to virginadivorcemadeeasy or something

My co-worker recently testified for a court aka perjury that her friend were separated but they were living together for 6 months due to financial reasons.
 
No, I never went to court. I probably had the easiest divorce on the planet. LOL I'm not sure what site he used, but I filled out the paperwork with him, and he never turned it in. 2 years pass and he calls me that he wants to buy a house, but I need to sign off on it. He did the same for me when I bought my place, so of course I obliged. However, I told him "WTF? I have been telling people I'm divorced officially!" LOL He said he was going to also send paperwork to finalize the divorce that an attorney drew up. I got it, signed and Fedex'd it back.

So, we did do it through the cheap website he picked, but he was a procrastinating fuck and never turned it in to the court. He later had an attorney draw up papers that I signed. I wouldn't advise this for anyone else, but I knew he wouldn't fuck me over and I only had a day to do the signoff for him to buy his house, so I read it myself and signed and sent it back to him. I can't imagine it cost him much, but I can ask him if you want.
 
He called Sunday afternoon crying. I could not understand him for the first 10 minutes. It was awful. Poor bastard. He admitted he fucked up and was so sorry. He has felt this for a couple months. I asked him why did he call earlier...he felt he needed to suffer and deal with the consequences of a stupid decision. I always understood he was desperate for good mental health and would do anything to achieve that but I also knew he would not be any happier living close to his family. I forgave his wrong doing long before this phone call. I was ready to take him back if he wanted to come home. I wished that one day I would come home from work and he would be there. The only bad thing about our relationship was that it ended. He still isn't fully back together mentally and I admitted I don't want him back if he is a mess. With the hope he has knowing that I will take him back where he belongs I wish he will get back to his old self quicker. The isolation must have been terrible. We are going to therapy when he gets settled back here. He told me he knows he does not want children. He is not equipped to deal with a child nor wished to pass on his mental defects. He takes responsibility for his actions but said his therapist in Sept over multiple sessions said perhaps not having a child was the cause of his returned anxiety. My thought of getting a divorce has vanished. I don't want that. I am over the anger. I want my man back. My heart is lifted and I feel the best I have in awhile. I can be a toughnut but I know my future lies with him. I expect him home by end of this month.
 
Perpetual Indulgence said:
Thanks dude. You are not the first person to say that but J and I worked well together.
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I believe you, and I didn't mean to offend by perhaps bringing that short-changed insight to this discussion. fwiw - I am happy that you two seem to be getting back together? my general rule of thumb for how to react during these circumstances with friends is that as long as my friend in question is happy, I am teh happy :)

Perpetual Indulgence said:
Please come to see me this summer. I think I might be able to afford a payment plan to replace the guest bedroom furniture. If not I have an air mattress that will work for you and your lady.
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coincidentally, the lady's head was resting on my shoulders after another grueling work day, so I just showed this post to her. that sounds fantastic to us. we travel well and void of drama, one of the reasons as to why I think that we work out so well, together. hell, we don't even need that Air Mattress, if you have a comfy couch that is a bit more Abe-Lincoln-than-P-I-sized, I'm sure that would be enough ;)

plus - ain't any stressful situation the better as soon as friends enter the picture, even if only for a short time??
 
Axl, I will have a queen bed for you and the lady <3

Stress is being without him. There won't be any when he returns. We are really drama free...I swear.
We are talking nightly for 60-90 minutes.
 
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