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Introduce Yourself! v.2.0

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Thank you for the compliment herbavore... As it seems badfish knows from personal experience, I possibly could disclose where I am supposedly "based" in Japan or in the states, but I travel so much that my "bases" are generally lofts or suites owned by my employers. As I stated in my biographical info, I grew up being thrown out of prep schools so I really cannot remember a time other than college that I lived in one city for longer that three months. The individuals I have met over the years who grew up with folks in the armed services (especially those with parents that have achieved a high rank) seem to have experienced a similarly inconsistent, unstable childhood. Just a thought.
 
I couldn't actually imagine that. I've lived in the same neighborhood my whole life, and I've never left a school. I find it so surprising how normal it is for some of the people I know to switch in and out of schools on a regular basis... it must have been really hard :(
 
countessvonfbang said:
...but I travel so much that my "bases" are generally lofts or suites owned by my employers.
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Ah, god man. That's awful :(
It reminds me of the years where I would couch surf or sidewalk-sleep in order to maintain my old habits like seven years ago. I hadn't thought about that in a bit... Thank you for sharing it with us! Not only did you get to more personally meet two of our awesome staff (herbavore & badfish), but you helped keep my own recovery in front of me and kept the disparity of the past fresh enough in my mind that I don't feel complacent right now.
:)
Welcome to Bluelight. We've got quite a little gem of a forum here, The Dark Side... I am glad that you found your way to us!
~ Vaya
 
daisy1924 said:
Hi everyone: I'm daisy1924 and I'm in a constant state of confusion these days. Maybe I can feel at home here.
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Hi daisy! I'm one of the moderators of The Dark Side. Welcome!! So glad to have you aboard :D
I honestly believe you're going to find some incredible people in this community. You may wind up with a bigger support network than even you'd dreamed for - remember to be active and reach out to others, too! :)

Now, what on earth are you confused about, daisy?
All the best,
~ Vaya
 
I'm Kitsune All.

Reposted from another post, but pretty much explains my current situation.

I have had high dose binges in the past when it was much more weekend only recreational use, such as maybe once every two weeks. E.G. 110mg of Zolpidem, 6mg Clonazepam, 40mg Valium (that was one crazy night, not even usually that bad) for about 1-2months. These binges included, Zolpidem, Zopiclone, Xanax, Clonazepam, Nitrazepam, Lorazepam, Valium. Then began my more daily relationship with Benzos.

My Benzo's of choice currently are Xanax & Klonopin (Rivotril in UK) which I've been taking 4-5 days a week, if not weekly for about 4 months. Then having 1 week breaks. Every month or two weeks.

This past two months I've been taking Clonazepam daily for anxiety (2mg) due to half-life, then weekends binging on about 4-8mg a day, so my tolerance is super high.

Then about 2 weeks ago I've recieved 60 tabs of Xanax .5mg, I'm used to 2mg Bars, but they're harder to find in the UK, so daily for anxiety i take one dose at night of 1-2mg to relieve work related anxiety (i am diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder) but i'm prescribed 200mg of Trazodone (SARI) with anxiolytic/sedative properties (which I haven't been taking), recreationally i've taken max 4mg sublingual with 3-4mgs of Clonazepam.

In reality, I'm always using recreationally, but the added side effect for me is the lack of anxiety, hence my stopping of Trazodone.

I occassionally have been dosing Benzo's (1.5mg Xanax & 2mg Clonazepam) with Opi's (160mg-300mg - with slight tolerance) to potentiate the nod, but only baby Opi's like Dihydrocodeine and not frequently.

Due to Gastrointenstinal issues (not caused by benzos, another problem) i'm being referred to a Gastroenterologist and from next week I will begin tapering (without the doc's they don't know about my benzo usage, but i'm gunna have support from friends, and will maintain my taper) with Xanax and eventually problem move to low doses of Valium (10mg) and taper from that. Have a break for a few months till my health is sorted, then just stick to binges (if possible) and will have to nip addiction in the bud if it comes about, and just stay away from Benzo's due to my addictive nature.

In comparison to some prescribed or recreational long term users, my WD's will mainly be rebound anxiety and insomnia, which hopefully the taper will help with, hoping no seizures. Luckily I will also be going back onto my 100mg dose of Trazodone which should help with rebound anxiety and insomnia.

Any advice guys? :)
 
Hi Kitsune.Welcome!You could start a thread to invite advice (more people will read it than in here) but be sure to also use the search engine to find other threads about benzo tapers.
 
Hello everyone! I posted in the introductions forum, but I'd like to introduce myself here as well. I'm a recovering opiate addict, and my addiction has been with me for the last six years of my life. I've gone from pills to heroin, like most other addicts, and started out taking them for legitimate pain when I had my wisdom teeth out at 16. Since then it's really been a struggle.

I started hanging out with a crowd of people who taught me how to crush and snort pills (who the hell snorts vicodin and percocet with all those damned binders and APAP.. 8) stupid me) and from there it just got progressively worse. I guess I would call myself a functional addict, and always had been one. I always made sure I had money to pay bills, get gas, food, and anything else that I needed - so I suppose I'm lucky for the small amount of self restraint I can say that I have.

Around the time I started abusing opiates, I decided to try other drugs as well, and since then I've done shrooms, cocaine, marijuana, poppy tea, a plethora of opioid varieties, adderall, ritalin, kratom, alcohol, and salvia. Out of the recreational drugs I've done, I've only ever IV'd cocaine and heroin. The shrooms, however, was not a fun experience, and brought about an underlying anxiety disorder that I now deal with daily. The entire shroom experience was spent curled up in a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth, trying not to vomit (It REALLY upset my stomach). Since then I can't say I've tried any other psychedelics except for salvia. I wanted to try LSD one day, but after the shroom experience I decided that perhaps I'm just not the tripping type.

I've done the street copping thing, been to rehab, and through all the loops and hurdles most addicts have been through, only with the exception that I've never let myself hit rock bottom. I absolutely refuse to ever let that happen, and so far, so good. I'm now taking suboxone, when needed, to cope with the cravings for other opiates. If I start getting really bad cravings, I usually get back on the suboxone for a week or two, and then ween off again. I will be going to groups again shortly as well, and hopefully, will be able to remove the suboxone from my life.

Job wise, I have a bachelors in Software Engineering, and self taught myself programming from the age of 13, where I started with QBasic. I love computers, gaming, and am quite a nerd. However, I drive a tornado red 2006 VW GTI MKV which I love, and work on all the time. Perhaps I'll post it as my main picture one of these days. I also love to sing, play the drums, and have been in a few bands over the years.

Bluelight is an awesome forum, and I'm really glad to be a part of it :) Peace, love, and respect to you all <3
 
Hey there psyyk! Your drug use and patterns are very similar to mine. I think you will find a lot of people who also have a similar story in here as well. Thanks for sharing with us. I am so happy you decided to post your intro and get yourself into it here in TDS. I look forward to seeing you around. :) <3
 
If I can help at least one person then I'll be happy :) As part of my recovery, it seems the more I help others, the better I feel about myself, and it actually does a great deal in helping my recovery process. Looking forward to getting to know all of you =D <3
 
psyyk said:
If I can help at least one person then I'll be happy :) As part of my recovery, it seems the more I help others, the better I feel about myself, and it actually does a great deal in helping my recovery process. Looking forward to getting to know all of you =D <3
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I'm "psyyked" (;)) to see this kind of intro, psyyk!! You really seem to be a devilishly honest and giving person with a complicated past - precisely those attributes that make one particularly well-suited to being a great contributor in this forum! Nice to see you here. Welcome to The Dark Side - I'm glad you've had a chance to give the site a once-over; if you have any questions regarding forum policy, rules, or anything else that may just kind of "come up" - Hit up the "Contact Me" link in my signature.

Again, welcome to Bluelight <3

~ Vaya
 
Hey, all. So I am completely new here and I figured I'd get my name out there. I think I'll stick to the rough basics for now, but if you're interested don't hesitate to ask questions. I was introduced to the BlueLight community by badfish45, who just so happens to be my best friend, and sort of fell in love with. I won't be a regular user, but I will come here for support and advice and to support others.

Who am I? That's a wonderful question, I wish I had a good solid answer for you, but I don't. Not right now, at least. I'm the daughter of two alcoholics: one recovered, the other quite the opposite. My father has had 3 years of sobriety, but at the moment my mother is in the ICU on life support due to a current relapse and for other reasons. Growing up in the environment that I have has made me wonderfully tolerant to pain and unfortunate happenings for myself and others. This is why I think I will be able to give at least reasonable advice. I'm sympathetic, but I know the cold hard fact about it all. I've always been this way, but things have added to my frame of mind. My heart is soft and understanding and my mind is sensible and sturdy. I've always been much more intelligent than my peers. I am in fact 15 and just that, but mentally I'd like to believe that I'm older. Though I don't think it really matters; age is but a number, anyway.
I suppose I should mention the fact that I am friends with many-a drug users and abusers, hence why I am posting in The Dark Side. I, myself, am intrigued by them and occasionally enjoy some marijuana, but not alcohol for the apparent reasons. I plan on experimenting with them a bit, though not the hard-cores. I have a friend who has recently quit heroine and seeing him the way he is, you can bet I won't be going down that path any time soon. I also have a cousin in the slammer for robbing a 711 to get money to support his heroine addiction.

Anyway, I'm sure I will spend most, if not all, of my time here on The Dark Side. Contact me personally, if you wish. I'd love to hear from you. :)
 
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Welcome =D I'm really happy that you decided to make an account on here, I think you'll really like it. Some people have heard of you around here before, but either way we're all just as happy to have you here. Anyway, I talk to you everyday, so no need for me to drone on. Come check out the TDS Social Thread and join the community, it's a great way to get connected with everyone on here, I think you'll come to really enjoy it.
 
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"Age," as we use the term, is purely relative.

Fifteen or fifty, we are all grappling with the torrents of personal growth. Brett has been a striking presence on this forum and, as such, serves as a consistent and powerful reminder of this time-space relativity.

badfish45 said:
Some people have heard of you around here before
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*raises hand* =D

I'm very excited you've discovered Bluelight! And welcome to Bluelight!! I was four days shy of seventeen when I created my user account, and recall Bluelight being at once a very welcoming and intimidating place. My feeling intimidated was purely reflective of the veritable wealth of good knowledge, harm reduction strategies, healthy living lifestyles, advice on sex, love and relationships, places to cope with drugs and depression, forums to discuss all types of music, areas devoted to specific continents... I mean, fuck.

But if I live in Philadelphia in our three-dimensional universe, I too lead an existence here, at Bluelight, that is highly involved. Let me say that here, you will likely find some of the most charismatic, loving, kind and wise people you've ever had the pleasure of chatting with.

Bluelight...

Welcome to it.
:)

~ Vaya
 
NOT NEW! It's BeckyL**!

Hey yall I got a new s/n & account. I rather like it better personally. For MANY reasons... (will give more deets on my life shortly!)
<3
Becky

Lee
 
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