Benzos Benzo WD...heavy short-term midazolam (ab)use. Will I experience withdrawals?

[EveryStar]

Well, over the last couple of weeks I've gone through about 30 (or more, I haven't been keeping count) of the 15mg midazolam (Dormicum) pills, and a good 40mg or so of clonazepam, everyday at least 30mg-60mg midazolam... but now I have to stop taking benzos in the next couple of days because I have a drug test coming up in about 10 days. Will I go through withdrawals? And if so, how bad will they be?

Also, I used to have a script for 2mg clonazepam and 30mg temazepam per day, for a period of about 9 months or so back in 2010...eventually I detoxed, which was quite painless, with Librium and reduced doses of temazepam (at the same time as I did my methadone detox...100mg daily back then, that, however was not painless at all...worst two weeks of my life), so would my past benzo use affect my current tolerance, now, nearly two years later, and how fast I will go into withdrawals?

 

[jazz hands]

You could have withdrawals or rebound symptoms from that use. Your past use definitely makes an impact on how easily you become dependent with future use. I've burned myself a few times by not realizing this.

If you do have symptoms, it shouldn't be anything a taper can't take care of, though your upcoming drug test would pose a problem I guess...

 

[EveryStar]

Yeah, for example this morning I took 2mg clonazepam...after a few hours, although I was anxiety-free, I still felt that tight anxious feeling in my chest...so I took 15mg midazolam and that took care of that. Then over the course of the day I took about 100mg of diazepam, and although I was feeling pretty good, I still felt that anxious feeling in my chest, so I took two more 15mg Dormicums. The thing is, maybe it's not the midazolam I'm withdrawing from, but rather the fact that I'm conditioned to it.

Like as soon as I put it under my tongue, I feel immediately less anxious, before it even kicks in, so it might be psychological. Kind of like how I used to be addicted to heroin back a couple of years ago, and a few months ago I went back and banged some dope for 4-5 days straight...the next day I couldn't even stay still in class, it kind of felt like if I was WDing, yawning, tearing, just overall really anxious, but as soon as I got out of class and went to score, the minute the bag was in my pocket, all the supposed WD symptoms disappeared, so I wasn't really in WD, but rather just really anxious to score, kind of like if my body was conditioned to it (and afterwards I laid off the dope and had no WD symptoms whatsoever).

Do you think it might be the same in this case?

 

[EveryStar]

Bump... I'm really worried about this, I have a drug test coming up in 5 days, I'm not sure if they will test for benzos, but just in case I'd rather not take any benzos until then... How bad will the WDs be? And how long will they last?
Help please...

 

[brutus]

^ Benzo withdrawal is hell. Sorry to say that, but I tried to quit benzos a few months ago and even with tapering, I felt like I was loosing my mind.

 

[EveryStar]

^ Benzo withdrawal is hell. Sorry to say that, but I tried to quit benzos a few months ago and even with tapering, I felt like I was loosing my mind.

Yes, I know but keep in mind I've only been using midazolam for a couple of weeks...I hadn't taken any benzos for two years prior to that. I haven't taken any midazolam in about 48 hours, but I've taken 20mg of diazepam and about 6 or 7 mg of alprazolam during that time. Will the withdrawals be that bad?

 

[brutus]

It's hard to say, I used 10 grams of temazepam in a 4 month period and experienced no WD symptoms, but everyone is different. I would assume that you wouldn't feel too rough, but you never know.

 

[EveryStar]

It's hard to say, I used 10 grams of temazepam in a 4 month period and experienced no WD symptoms, but everyone is different. I would assume that you wouldn't feel too rough, but you never know.

Well, I only took 1mg of alprazolam this morning, with absolutely nothing else, no alcohol or anything, at around 8:30-9am, now it's 5pm and I still feel great! I'm in a great mood, really talkative, very content. Which is kind of strange...yesterday I took about 8mg over a 4-5 hour period and drank a few beers (a good liter and a half or so) and it didn't have me feeling the way I'm feeling now, I just felt kind of mellow, and tired, and then ended up passing out on the couch an hour later, I couldn't even keep my eyes open, I just passed out...I woke up 3 hours later, at around 2 in the morning, feeling really groggy, put on my pyjamas and smoked a cigarette, browsed Facebook for a litle while, and then went to bed... I didn't manage to sleep all night.

Then I took the said 1mg of alprazolam and drank a cup of coffee and I'm still feeling great, 8 hours later...why is that? I figured I had a huge tolerance to benzos because of my past use (since I was scripted temazepam and clonazepam daily for nearly a year, back in 2009-2010) and because of my heavy benzo abuse these last couple of weeks. For example the other day I ended up taking around 150mg of diazepam and barely felt a thing, but then the next day I took 50mg and I was feeling real good and content... So less is more, huh? Is there some kind of scientific explanation for this?

And as for the WDs, well I guess I'll just wait it out, I'll see how I feel later tonight or tomorrow, I'll try not to take any more benzos until then and see if I experience any WD symptoms... If I do, oh well, I still have a stash of about 500-600mg of diazepam, 20mg of alprazolam, 60mg of midazolam and 4mg of clonazepam, so I'll be able to taper off...

What does it sound like to you? Will I wake up tomorrow feeling really shitty if I don't take my dose? Right now I'm just trying to avoid the midazolam as best as I can, as it's the most addictive and short-acting and I seem to be doing fine without it so far...

 

[EveryStar]

AH, and another thing, I've been experiencing these hypnagogic hallucinations lately when I try to fall asleep... Like I'll start falling asleep and all of a sudden feel as if I'm hearing a truck driving by, or a music I've listened to during the day...and also seeing and feeling people and faces, but I mean like really vivid dreams, it truly, truly felt real, as if they were right in front of me...then I'd snap out of it, open my eyes, fall asleep again and I would experience those hypnagogic hallucinations again...it's been happening nearly every day this week, usually when I'm falling asleep after heavy doses of benzos (especially midazolam and temazepam) and/or alcohol... Is this normal? Or is it a WD symptom?

 

[EveryStar]

So say, if I don't take anymore starting today, am I gonna be in WDs by tomorrow or the day after? Or maybe I won't go into WD at all... I don't know.
And about those hypnagogic hallucinations, what's the deal with that?

 

[Trigeminal]

AH, and another thing, I've been experiencing these hypnagogic hallucinations lately when I try to fall asleep... Like I'll start falling asleep and all of a sudden feel as if I'm hearing a truck driving by, or a music I've listened to during the day...and also seeing and feeling people and faces, but I mean like really vivid dreams, it truly, truly felt real, as if they were right in front of me...then I'd snap out of it, open my eyes, fall asleep again and I would experience those hypnagogic hallucinations again...it's been happening nearly every day this week, usually when I'm falling asleep after heavy doses of benzos (especially midazolam and temazepam) and/or alcohol... Is this normal? Or is it a WD symptom?

Hypnagogic dreams are a pretty classic benzo withdrawal syndrome. I've been off benzos completely for almost 9 months and still have them sometimes, not very often though. They happen because due to the downregulation of the GABA receptors, glutamate is not antagonized as well as it should be, which activates your sympathetic nervous system, resulting in insomnia. Hypnagogic dreams happen when you are in the early stages of sleep, stages 1 and 2, and aren't getting into the deep sleep, stages 3 and 4, that are more important.

Sounds like you're having interdose withdrawal, which is easily possible if you've been taking mainly alprazolam and midazolam, 2 short acting benzos.

 

[Jabberwocky]

valproic acid and gaba or lyrica would be great for you to have on hand, OP. Maybe even some good ole' thorazine just in case, ya know?

 

[Trigeminal]

^I wouldn't ever recommend someone fucking around with Depakote. He says he has diazepam--better to do a taper with that.

 

[Jabberwocky]

True enough, much MUCH better to taper with diazepam.

 

[EveryStar]

Hypnagogic dreams are a pretty classic benzo withdrawal syndrome. I've been off benzos completely for almost 9 months and still have them sometimes, not very often though. They happen because due to the downregulation of the GABA receptors, glutamate is not antagonized as well as it should be, which activates your sympathetic nervous system, resulting in insomnia. Hypnagogic dreams happen when you are in the early stages of sleep, stages 1 and 2, and aren't getting into the deep sleep, stages 3 and 4, that are more important.

Sounds like you're having interdose withdrawal, which is easily possible if you've been taking mainly alprazolam and midazolam, 2 short acting benzos.

Hmm, but are these symptomatic WD hypnagogic dreams already pretty far advanced, in terms of withdrawal? What am I in for, how much worse is it going to get, and for how long? Also, like I said in one of my posts above, today I took 1mg of alprazolam and for some strange reason I felt the buzz the entire day, (very talkative, happy, full of energy and overall quite euphoric and social) from 9am in the morning up to now (midnight), but the effects have been fading slowly over the last couple of hours...How is that possible? Alprazolam usually only lasts 3-4 hours...

Also, since the last time I took midazolam, a couple of days ago, the hypnagogic dreams seem to have almost completely disappeared.
For example last night I didn't have any, and I think the day before I didn't either...so maybe the WD symptoms are diminishing? Well at least I hope so... I have to do a urinalysis on Friday and I was hoping I could make it until then without any benzos nor WD symptoms (or at least, minimal symptoms...)

 

[Trigeminal]

Hmm, but are these symptomatic WD hypnagogic dreams already pretty far advanced, in terms of withdrawal? What am I in for, how much worse is it going to get, and for how long? Also, for some strange reason today I took 1mg of alprazolam and for some strange reason I felt the buzz the entire day, from 9am in the morning up to now (midnight), how is that possible? Also, since the last time I took midazolam, a couple of days ago, the hypnagogic dreams seem to have almost completely disappeared.

For example last night I didn't have any, and I think the day before I didn't either...so maybe the WD symptoms are diminishing? Well at least I hope so... I have to do a urinalysis on Friday and I was hoping I could make it until then without any benzos nor WD symptoms (or at least, minimal symptoms...)

Unfortunately, benzo withdrawal is unique to everyone. Unlike opiate withdrawal, where almost everyone will have exactly the same symptoms which last roughly the same amount of time.

Some people are done with benzo withdrawal in a week, some take 2 years. Given your length of use, I highly doubt you'd have a bad withdrawal for 2 years, but it can be avoided for the most part if you just do a taper with the diazepam.

But as to your specific withdrawal, I honestly can't say. Benzo withdrawal is just too unpredictable. Could be that hypnagogic dreams are your only symptom. You'll just have to wait and find out.

But tapering is the best way to approach it.

As far as the alprazolam...I can't say. Benzos are fickle like that. But the half life is 12 hours, so it makes sense, although it is strange.

Last thing: Be seriously careful with benzos. The withdrawal is a fucking cunt. I can't stress that enough.

 

[xdimsumx]

AH, and another thing, I've been experiencing these hypnagogic hallucinations lately when I try to fall asleep... Like I'll start falling asleep and all of a sudden feel as if I'm hearing a truck driving by, or a music I've listened to during the day...and also seeing and feeling people and faces, but I mean like really vivid dreams, it truly, truly felt real, as if they were right in front of me...then I'd snap out of it, open my eyes, fall asleep again and I would experience those hypnagogic hallucinations again...it's been happening nearly every day this week, usually when I'm falling asleep after heavy doses of benzos (especially midazolam and temazepam) and/or alcohol... Is this normal? Or is it a WD symptom?

loll, i spit a lot when i smoke and one time i had a ciggiratte in my dream and after stopping benzos i woke up to a wall full of spit. thought about it and laughed it off. try to humor yourself, it does wonders.

physical part of benzo w/d is a bitch but i'd say half of the mental anxious is a head-game, you just need to somehow focus on something, i found reddit.com and it was a godsend, i spent like 3 sleepless days on it.

 

[EveryStar]

Unfortunately, benzo withdrawal is unique to everyone. Unlike opiate withdrawal, where almost everyone will have exactly the same symptoms which last roughly the same amount of time.

Some people are done with benzo withdrawal in a week, some take 2 years. Given your length of use, I highly doubt you'd have a bad withdrawal for 2 years, but it can be avoided for the most part if you just do a taper with the diazepam.

But as to your specific withdrawal, I honestly can't say. Benzo withdrawal is just too unpredictable. Could be that hypnagogic dreams are your only symptom. You'll just have to wait and find out.

But tapering is the best way to approach it.

As far as the alprazolam...I can't say. Benzos are fickle like that. But the half life is 12 hours, so it makes sense, although it is strange.

Last thing: Be seriously careful with benzos. The withdrawal is a fucking cunt. I can't stress that enough.

Well, I just woke up, and I slept very well last night, no insomnia or anything, no hypnagogic hallucinations or anything... I felt a bit anxious before going to bed, but I think that was more due to the paranoia of reading about WD symptoms and whatnot more than anything else. The last time I took a benzo was 24 hours ago, that 1mg of alprazolam.

In any case, I'll still bring 2mg of alprazolam and 50mg of diazepam along with me when I head out today, in case I start feeling any symptoms...

And thank you for the advice, I've already been addicted to benzos, back 2 years ago (after those 9 months I was scripted clonazepam and temazepam) but I did a 2 week taper with Librium and lowered amounts of temazepam, in a hospital, at the same time as as I did my methadone detox (100mg daily to 0 from one day to the other...it was pure, absolute hell). The benzo taper though was virtually painless (then again it's kind of hard to tell since I was detoxing off the methadone as well, taking gabapentin, clonidine and small amounts of hydrocodone to help with that...but that was completely horrible regardless, and I primarily felt the symptoms of opiate withdrawal, which I recognize very well, more than anything else).

Anyways, I'll see how I feel today and report back.

And thank you a whole bunch for the help.

 

[EveryStar]

loll, i spit a lot when i smoke and one time i had a ciggiratte in my dream and after stopping benzos i woke up to a wall full of spit. thought about it and laughed it off. try to humor yourself, it does wonders.

physical part of benzo w/d is a bitch but i'd say half of the mental anxious is a head-game, you just need to somehow focus on something, i found reddit.com and it was a godsend, i spent like 3 sleepless days on it.

Haha, I've been using reddit for a few years now, I would go there literally everyday, funny thing though, is since I started abusing all the benzos a couple of weeks ago I've barely been on it at all...it seemed more interesting to zone out and listen to music, smoke cigarettes (fuck especially with the midazolam and diazepam I've been going through like 2 packs a day, smoking literally one cigarette after the other...my usual tobacco use is 1 pack per day) and go around doing stuff and talking to people. I even lost interest in my hobbies during these two weeks, benzo'ed out every single day, like I hadn't touched my guitar at all during that time, while before I used to play everyday.

Sort of a wake-up call, huh?

 

[EveryStar]

Huh, so this morning I was feeling pretty okay, no problem...didn't take any benzos whatsoever, didn't feel any WD symptoms (well, a sort of lack of concentration and a bit of a disorientated feeling, but that was about it). Then I drank an espresso, and bam, 30 minutes later I felt just like yesterday once again, speedy, talkative, euphoric, social... There must be some kind of interaction between the caffeine and the alprazolam, or maybe it's the accumulation of benzos in my system from these last few days + the fact that I don't usually drink coffee, making me really speedy...

I'll drink another cup of coffee later on this afternoon after eating lunch and see what happens... No apparent WD symptoms so far though, and it's been nearly 30 hours since my last dose of alprazolam. :D
I just hope tomorrow or later on today the WDs come on all at once and hit me like a train out of nowhere... :-/