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How are you in one word? v. flying purple elephants

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Oh n3o :( Boo to breakups, I know the two of you were together for many years. I wish you love and strength as you navigate the process, and if you need to vent, you know how to reach me. <3

Today: sunshiny and domestic. Lucky me, I get to pack and then paint the new house. Too much change at once, but I am managing.
 
messed up. two words actually. Meeting my ex is always a rollercoaster. We connect so good when we see us, but it always leaves me in a full blown emotional chaos. Guess it's as messed up as our relationship.
 
^^ That sucks man, I hope you're feeling happier again soon <3


Thank you SO much everyone for the love and support, I really need it. But this is definitely the right thing to do. I love you all <3

Today I am feeling optimistic


tripnotyzm said:
angry.

fml.
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Boooo :( What's up trip?? <3
 
Relieved Which is quite impressive any feeling aside from delirium is coming through, given I've not a single hour of sleep in the last two nights. Gaaah, this is rough - damn even my written expression is deteriorating. From another perspective, it's a little comical to me - "Oh! I can't write well, and my train of thought derails every 45 seconds. What a powerful and unexpected discovery. I'm gonna attempt sleep within an hour, but until then I'm gonna try to imbue every little thing I do with a sense of profundity, ya know, just make a big deal of everything. I guess that's kind of childish, but maybe that's not the worst thing I could be given the circumstances.

I wrote out a really long explanation as to why I chose relieved, but deleted it because I confess I have forgotten the rules I definitely didn't ignore and not read before I just went gun-ho and posted. Also, "relieved?" I can do better. I hear the English language is pretty lacking in regards to emotional words. Emo words. I guess I'd just shake action to kick out the emo words if we had 'em. Taking things for granted again? Okay, so I'll do my best non-triggering, lazy man, terse account. I misconstrued some anger from my sister as her implying I had slipped back into a lifestyle of which I'm a very recent apostate. Due to the freshness of my departure from the dirty life, combined w/ the lack of sleep, and my sister's refusal to be direct at the time put me in a bad place. Another sleepless night, and I found out she was upset over something still very trite, however, it is such a relief a integral member of my support system isn't hurling baseless accusations at me. And due to no sleep I started writing some grim police-state future that makes Orwell sound like Goosebumps.... wait, did I mean Animorphs? This is a sign to sleep now.
 
eh: that's all I can say to describe how I feel right now.. my best friend is about to be done with her classes at college up the road so then she's going to come to my house. So that should make things better :]
 
^ Yay!!! S.M.F.G. (for the milestone reached and the sweetheart that reached it!)

exhausted mentally and emotionally and physically. My husband's first chemo treatment which was supposed to be mild, was a nightmare and 5 days later it still is. The only thing keeping me going right now is that I know it is 10000 times worse for him.:(
 
^ I am so sorry herbavore. Keeping you & your family cemented in my positive thoughts!
 
panicked: just kind of freakin out a little.... Glad to be home though. I was out with my best friend tonight and shit was going all wrong. First we got lost, then machines kept eating our money and so we decided to walk closer back to my house and sit on a bench... Well a white van drives by us but then hit their brakes and fucking reversed back to us. It was a group of hispanic dudes talking to us and making kissing sounds over and over. They then would get quiet then stare at us and do some more kissing sounds... Finally they sped off after I said what to them. We ran for our life after and had to hide in an alley for a little because we thought they would circle the block.... Anyways just got home and happy I did. I hate people :\
 
^^ Damn dude, this sucks to hear :( Hope you're feeling better soon <3


herby, SO much love going out to you and your husband during this difficult time. Take care lovely, we're all here for you <3
 
herbavore said:
^ Yay!!! S.M.F.G. (for the milestone reached and the sweetheart that reached it!)

exhausted mentally and emotionally and physically. My husband's first chemo treatment which was supposed to be mild, was a nightmare and 5 days later it still is. The only thing keeping me going right now is that I know it is 10000 times worse for him.:(
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I am supportive of your work right now, and whatever I can do to help, let me know. You have had more than your share, beautiful one, and I don't know how I can be anything but words on a screen, but behind these words, on this side of the keyboard, is an actual 53 year old woman who has you and your family in her thoughts and prayers.
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ Damn dude, this sucks to hear :( Hope you're feeling better soon <3


herby, SO much love going out to you and your husband during this difficult time. Take care lovely, we're all here for you <3
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I'm feeling slightly less miserable today but holy fuck that bottomless pit of despair i went into was scary as fuck.
 
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