tender lamb shank
Bluelighter
Poor bloke, nobody deserves to be knowingly infected with anything
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Telling someone I have HPV -- After sex
- Thread starter Cohesion
- Start date
Lysis
Bluelighter
Yes, there are. ETA: They had a story on it on 60 mins I believe a while ago. Maybe like 10 years ago. It's been an issue for a while. My virology professor had a class on the issue.
@Priest, my virology professor went off on people who are HIV+ thinking it's OK to have sex with other HIV+ men. It's an eye opener, but I can understand if you don't have any educational background on the topic how you don't understand the risks.
Condom usage doesn't really prevent the spread of HPV. One of the few STIs where a condom doesn't make a difference, really. It's actually primarily spread thru foreplay
HPV is nothing. Im relatively positive i have it, ive had unprotected sex with alot of girls, including ones who had transmitted HPV months prior to having sex with them(but similarly to you, had the warts removed)
I didnt know about HPV for ages though, i just figured the damage had already been done. I dont think it matters so much and ive never had sex with someone and had them come to me freaking about warts or rashes or anything so if i have it i dont think im very contagious or that its a very bad strain.
Just chill, hes over reacting. HPV is so meh, he needs to smoke a joint or something.
I didnt know about HPV for ages though, i just figured the damage had already been done. I dont think it matters so much and ive never had sex with someone and had them come to me freaking about warts or rashes or anything so if i have it i dont think im very contagious or that its a very bad strain.
Just chill, hes over reacting. HPV is so meh, he needs to smoke a joint or something.
Lysis
Bluelighter
Amazing how many people think it's ok to gamble with someone else's health.
Cohesion
Bluelighter
Me: I feel so much remorse but it's completely irrelevant.
Him: I hope I dodged this. But I'm pretty sure that I didn't. It sounds guaranteed.
Me: I'm not ok. I have felt just like you are feeling. Then I went and tried to forget about its existence. And turned around and didn't inform you just like was done to me. I am extremely upset because I actually care about you as a person.
Him: I know better. I should have listened to my thinking.
Him: What do they look like? Pimples?
Me: Yes
Him: Looks like little whitehead like new pimples some. A few look like pimples on the way out. They are between my ball sack and my leg. And a few on my groin
Me: Oh
Him: They don't hurt but I see them.
Him: I think those genital warts already started.
Me: I can't even say anything. I thought there was a 2 week period before anything could come out, but I believe you.
Me: I just can't believe I did not tell you. It makes me so so angry.
Him: I can't undo this. I don't understand how you went through this and at the same time thought it was no big deal?
Me: Both stress and acceptance have happened at different times.
Him: Not telling people is not about acceptance. I have to get some rest.
Me: I want to give you my most sincere apology, though I can't see it will help you much and I don't think it will make me feel any better. This begins a new round of self loathing for me. If you never speak to me again, I completely support you. I am sorry.
(Next night accidentally texted the wrong person)
Me: What are you up to tonight
Him: Hoping I dodged that.
Me: I didn't mean to text you, sorry.
Me: I am too. I'm all fucked up in the head over you.
Me: Sorry to bother you though.
Him: Ok
________________________________
Lessons
From motherofearth: Plan and review my pre-sex conversation. Visualize how it will go, and when it is initiated.
From muvolution: Leave him alone!
From Lysis: INFORM . (FTR I brought 2 condoms, they didn't work out. Am I even justified to say ANYTHING ftr? Not so much.) Don't gamble with someone else's health. (Understatement, but I'm committed to it now.)
From Cyc & xstayfadedx & PriestTheyCalledHim: HPV IS serious. For everyone. How could I not care about how HPV would effect him... or his future partners??
From OTGee: Apologize in full and leave him alone. Thanks (and @Token) for the bit of empathy, it means a lot; I am VERY hard on myself (rightfully so though in this case).
From GABAking: Uh, get the strains tested. THANK you.
____
@Pontifex: I took the advise of others and most definitely did apologize. I didn't want to do it straight away; I needed some time for the severity to resonate within my soul. I didn't like how I was detached-sounding, either, at all.
Him: I hope I dodged this. But I'm pretty sure that I didn't. It sounds guaranteed.
Me: I'm not ok. I have felt just like you are feeling. Then I went and tried to forget about its existence. And turned around and didn't inform you just like was done to me. I am extremely upset because I actually care about you as a person.
Him: I know better. I should have listened to my thinking.
Him: What do they look like? Pimples?
Me: Yes
Him: Looks like little whitehead like new pimples some. A few look like pimples on the way out. They are between my ball sack and my leg. And a few on my groin
Me: Oh
Him: They don't hurt but I see them.
Him: I think those genital warts already started.
Me: I can't even say anything. I thought there was a 2 week period before anything could come out, but I believe you.
Me: I just can't believe I did not tell you. It makes me so so angry.
Him: I can't undo this. I don't understand how you went through this and at the same time thought it was no big deal?
Me: Both stress and acceptance have happened at different times.
Him: Not telling people is not about acceptance. I have to get some rest.
Me: I want to give you my most sincere apology, though I can't see it will help you much and I don't think it will make me feel any better. This begins a new round of self loathing for me. If you never speak to me again, I completely support you. I am sorry.
(Next night accidentally texted the wrong person)
Me: What are you up to tonight
Him: Hoping I dodged that.
Me: I didn't mean to text you, sorry.
Me: I am too. I'm all fucked up in the head over you.
Me: Sorry to bother you though.
Him: Ok
________________________________
Lessons
From motherofearth: Plan and review my pre-sex conversation. Visualize how it will go, and when it is initiated.
From muvolution: Leave him alone!
From Lysis: INFORM . (FTR I brought 2 condoms, they didn't work out. Am I even justified to say ANYTHING ftr? Not so much.) Don't gamble with someone else's health. (Understatement, but I'm committed to it now.)
From Cyc & xstayfadedx & PriestTheyCalledHim: HPV IS serious. For everyone. How could I not care about how HPV would effect him... or his future partners??
From OTGee: Apologize in full and leave him alone. Thanks (and @Token) for the bit of empathy, it means a lot; I am VERY hard on myself (rightfully so though in this case).
From GABAking: Uh, get the strains tested. THANK you.
____
@Pontifex: I took the advise of others and most definitely did apologize. I didn't want to do it straight away; I needed some time for the severity to resonate within my soul. I didn't like how I was detached-sounding, either, at all.
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xstayfadedx
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2011
- Messages
- 20,559
Yeah, it pisses me off.
muvolution
Bluelight Crew
I think we can all agree you fucked up, but it is still important to forgive yourself, too.
"Studies have shown that 70% of new HPV infections clear within one year, as many as 91% clear within two years. The median duration of new infections is typically eight months. HPV-16 is more likely to persist than other HPV types; however most HPV-16 infections become undetecable within two years. The gradual development of an effective immune response is thought to be the likely mechanism for HPV DNA clearance."
Source: CDC 2004 Report to Congress on Prevention of HPV
I stand by my initial comments Mr. Micr Bio.
Source: CDC 2004 Report to Congress on Prevention of HPV
I stand by my initial comments Mr. Micr Bio.
tokenname
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2012
- Messages
- 2,056
lol. Talks about morality and the evils of war in CE&P.
And yet is totally fine with, and sees no problem in spreading a virus that has the potential to cause cancer and other health issues.
You sir are the height of douchebaggery.
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The fact is, i cant be tested. Most people have it. Especially those sexually active. If i could do something about it then i would, however i cant and i just have to live with it, the world does. Its basically impossible to avoid unless you simply dont have sex, and if you are reading this, you probably have it.
Its just one of those things.. do you warn people before you kiss them that youve had cold sores before? Because ive never had a coldsore, so if you dont warn me and i get your herpes up in my grill then imma be pissed, yo!
Different strains don't all have the same built up resistance to current treatments.You are still doing the virus a favour and thus not helping public health with those practices.
So let me get this straight. Your position is that you know that you most likely have HPV. A virus that can cause cancer btw. But you assume that since most people have it it is ok to go spreading it around? Good on you mate. Really holding the moral high ground there 8)
So what if you can't do anything about it. The least you can do is tell the people you have sex with that you almost certainly have the virus. It is just common fucking courtesy.
Whatever though. If you feel like acting like some typhoid Mary wannabe it is all on you.
Just wanna ask you though. If one day you are with a chick. And she 100% doesn't have HPV but finds out later that she got infected by you and gets cancer because of it.
Is it still no biggy? Is it still a "well I couldn't do anything about it so it's not my problem" type of thing"?
This doesn't make much sense as sentences or as an argument. I don't have herpes if that is what you are assuming about me. But then again I really have no idea what you are trying to say here as your sentence is just so poorly written.
However...
I have a friend who has herpes and he warns all of his friends not to share drinks with him and warns his girlfriends as well. Your position doesn't make much sense from a harm reduction point of view. Hell it doesn't make much sense in being a decent human being point of view either. But whatevs keep on keeping on spreading that HPV around. Have tons o fun.
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^Great harm reduction attitude there buddy. 8)
In the States 80% of people have HPV. That means 20% don't have it and I assume they don't want to have it.
saying "if it wasnt me it would have been someone else'. is just incredibly irresponsible and immoral of you.
Fuck it whatever.
In the States 80% of people have HPV. That means 20% don't have it and I assume they don't want to have it.
saying "if it wasnt me it would have been someone else'. is just incredibly irresponsible and immoral of you.
Fuck it whatever.
Well what, am i supposed to never have sex again because of whats most likely an non-harmful virus i may or may not carry? If i told girls, most would be too stupid to know what im talking about and simply freak out that ive got aids or some shit.