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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

can someone offer advice..relapse after a year clean

rakaur said:
...extremely introverted. I hate groups.
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"Life begins when our comfort zone ends."

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I have ever had the good fortune of receiving.

~ vaya
 
piebald said:
i worked so hard to get clean off opiates. had to move away and start a new life and put in sooo much fucking work to be sober again. then someone offered me a few percocet..and i said yes..for the last few months ive been using liquid oxy, morphine etc i would say about 3-4 days a week. Stopped working out, started smoking again, having the dreams about drugs again.

Im not physically dependent but i will tell you that yesterday morning i woke up and had very very mild withdraw symptoms. it was enough to scare the hell out of me. I guess my question is this...should i try to deal with this myself or should i ask for help?? I would like to think i can keep this from getting bigger, but i know that may just be the addict part talking..giving me the go ahead to keep using. I guess im just looking for any help from anyone who has been through the recovery/relapse thing. Do i try to do it by myself? or start the whole rehab process all over??i really dont want to do that..if your not physically addicted CAN will power be enough?
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The road to recovery is a long one.. as in it last pretty much your whole life. The best advice I can give you is to never give up. Start going to drug meetings and find like minded people that are in the same situation. I know this probably isn't your thing, but it helps tremendously. You can NEVER use again. That's something you need to accept. You are more prone to falling back into addiction then a normal person. Stay strong, and know that you are capable of anything if you put your mind to it.<3
 
I've never tried NA but I hear that it's not for everybody. I've always been one to try to do things on my own. I never reached out for help for my amphetamine addiction. I always tried to fix my problem myself. This however, did not work for me as I have relapsed many times. Sometimes we need a helping hand If you still can't get things under control then you most likely can't do it on your own. I've finally realized I can't do it on my own so maybe you can't. I hope the best for you.
 
Relinquishing junk. Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus. One television and one bottle of Valium.


^Best advice ever bud.

I always find a little bit of weed, and thinking of something positive in the future that you'll achieve and try to think of all the positive shit you've already achieved, then just let the drugs
leave your system and get back to doing exercise. :)
 
..currently on day 6 of not using! Other than those annoying dreams(im sure some of you know what Im talking about) Im not having any withdrawal issues (i wasn't using enough to make me sick) other than self control. Thanks for your support everyone!!!
 
piebald said:
..currently on day 6 of not using! Other than those annoying dreams(im sure some of you know what Im talking about) Im not having any withdrawal issues (i wasn't using enough to make me sick) other than self control. Thanks for your support everyone!!!
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Best wishes :)

If you find you really just can't stop relapsing maybe you should consider an opioid replacement program at some point. Always an option. Some opioid addicts have been found to have chronic deficiencies in their endogenous opioid system and that's why they only feel truly well on opioids. Not that I'm encouraging it; abstain if you can!

Best of luck to you buddy.
 
i did do suboxone in the beginning. if it ever got that bad again i would certainly go that route...lets hope i dont need to..this relapse thing wasnt to the point of physical dependency thank god..but it was headed that way
 
simon.darcourt said:
Relinquishing junk. Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus. One television and one bottle of Valium.
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You forgot the meetings ;)

piebald said:
Other than those annoying dreams(im sure some of you know what Im talking about)
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Yes, I hate the dreams. I still get them a few times a week after being clean for a couple of months. They are horribly triggering and really frustrating. It seems like one of the last things to go away.

piebald said:
i did do suboxone in the beginning. if it ever got that bad again i would certainly go that route...lets hope i dont need to..
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It is good to hear that you have that option. Just don't let the understanding of and the access to a rapid Suboxone taper end up being enabling for you.

I am proud of you for making it 6 (now 7, right?) days! :)
 
SEVEN.. ^^and NO Redletter Im not even thinking of the sub route as something to fall back on...but thats a very good point

The place that treated me in the past required you to attend 6 weeks of bi-weekly counciling BEFORE you were even allowed to see a doctor for suboxone. That was a loooong six weeks! In retrospect i think that waiting period was put in place to weed out the people who just wanted to quick access to suboxone from those who actually wanted to be sober. It was ALOT of work and you were required to attend EVERY appointment if you wanted to see a doctor. From there you were drug tested once weekly and had to be in some form of out patient therapy on a weekly basis or your script was pulled. It was a very very intense experience and it required quite a bit of effort time and money. This place was set up so that you really really had to focus and commit to cleaning up- it was very structured and demanding- That being my only experience with rehab..i don't think i would ever use it as something to fall back on..it as pretty heavy duty.
Im sure not all programs are like that, but since that was my experience i would never think of sub therapy as a walk in the park.
-

I just got health insurance and i can afford to see someone, so im thinking that might be a good thing to start ASAP-

day 7 vibe=CAUTIOUS OPTIMISM?
 
rakaur said:
What are "the dreams" if I may ask?
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you have very vivid realistic dreams about finding/scoring/using drugs..for me they are almost the reverse of a nightmare- you wake up and for a split second you think the dream was real and in the nightstand next to your bed in that drawer is a whole stash of dope/pills/etc..whatever your drug of choice is...last night in my dream i was visiting my parents in florida and went through their medicine cabinet and took a whole bottle of percocet. The dreams went away about 6-8 months after i got clean the first time...they tend to stick around
 
I totally understand your struggle.. It's also my struggle.. Had been clean of all drugs including alcool for 15 months with the help of na. For me the twelve step program helped a lot and i find that their msg of taking life and addiction "one day at a time" is the only way to go. Unfortunately i recently also fell off the wagon so like i said, i understand where you at. Time is our friend and healer, 24 frames a second and one second at a time... In this battle, You are not alone..
 
Congratulations on getting to day 6 piebald! I hope the dreams diminish soon. Keep up everything that you are doing and feel good for doing it!<3
 
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