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what is wrong with me ??

V

venus_

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 16, 2011
Messages
32
Ok so I feel like I've been on an epic and frustrating sexual expedition ever since I lost my virginity. It feels like some kind of quest which will end with me having some kind of psychotic, writhing, screaming banshee orgasm loud and fierce enough to open the gates of hell. . . . .
That being said I've fucked around 30 people give or take. Is that a lot ? Anyways.... I feel insatitable. I feel impossible to satisfy. It feels crazy some days. I feel so violent and passionate. Sometimes it makes me feel weak, other times I feel like it gives me unnatural (well extra I guess) physical strength. Some days I just feel like moaning and sighing and punching things.
I have an ex bf who does his best tto satisfy me.... And he's great but I want more. I want to come and be one with this violent passionate part of myself with someone. I feel like there is no physical way to act out or get this energy outside of me, to relieve myself. I keep thinking about and looking for guys to hook up with. I feel like such a slut.... Such a depraved and somehow deprived (even though I'm not ?) Slut.
He does his best and he does good so why am I not satisfied with this ? What is wrong with me ? Is this normal ?
 
it's not quite "normal" to want to fuck that much as a woman, but let me tell you that there are TONS of women out there who are just as horny as you are. I think you would be welcome addition, as a friend, to most guys out there ;)

but yeah, 30 partners is a lot. I mean, I'm not judging. I've had about the same amount of partners, but I think I'm a bit older than you (26 here)
 
I think you just have a high sex drive. Doesn't sound like you've met your match in bed yet! Also, ex-bf is all good and well, but it means you haven't currently got someone in your life with whom you share trust and a strong emotional connection (otherwise I assume he'd be more than an ex). Having sex with feelings involved ime can be much more satisfying and fulfilling, and helps with that constant "craving" feeling because you get emotional as well as physical closeness.

Nothing wrong with having lots of sexual experiences in the meantime though as long as you're keeping yourself safe physically and psychologically and hooking up with decent guys who treat you with respect. There is no such thing as "too many" partners - you'll know when it feels like too much for you, it's no one else's business so don't let others judge you.

Also, there is no reason you can't explore your sexuality even if you're single - get yourself some new sex toys, there are some cool things out there that can really blow your mind. Try experimenting with different kinds of stimulation (anal, vaginal); check out porn or erotica, think about kinks or BDSM you might want to try out with a lover. Remember you're going to be your own longest sexual partner, so you might as well learn to satisfy yourself and do it well ;)
 
I do not think there is such a thing as "too many" partners either as lola said. I would definitely not feel bad about it. You clearly have a strong libido, and you enjoy fucking. I have to ask is it easy for you to achieve orgasm, and if so can you do so both via the stimulation of the clitoris and vaginal intercourse? Also, do you masturbate? Masturbation is a very healthy practice, and I think you would benefit from doing so if you don't, or increasing the frequency and duration of masturbation if you do. Also, exploration of your sexuality is, indeed, very healthy and important, too. Explore your fantasies and fetishes, and if not harmful to others or yourself, make them a reality so that you might become more sexually satisfied, and such satisfaction might be more profound and longer lasting. Enjoy pornography, sex toys, and what not. Maybe there are things you might really like you have not tried, I do not know. Also, sex with someone with whom you are intimately involved (emotionally) is satisfying in a different way than just sex. You might want to consider finding a partner with whom you have intentions of staying, and with whom you can be open and honest about your sexuality. Firstly, though, be honest with yourself about your sexuality.
 
Thank u for the replies... Yes masturbation is a must..... But I only had a g spot orgasm once and it feels like I've been on a quest to have that feeling again and I think this is why I'm unsatisfied, it was waty better. I keep searching for a guy to provide me with some raw carnal connecttion on a psychological level but men can't ever seem to get in my head and give me what I'm wanting, the right amount of patience and acceptance with the right amount of domination which The combinations of would allow me to really feel free. But ya my ex and no man are giving me this orgasm so I think that's why I'm frustrated........
Because I know that its what I'm doing it all for. It is the reason I honestly even care to relate to the male race, to feel this carnal connectiton. Also to feel love and That too, but I keep searching for the carnal connection... Howww can I find this ?????
I try to massage my own g spot but something just feels like its missing or else I just feel like I'm meditating and massaging and relaxing more than getting off.
I don't know how to respond to any guys touching me there, eventtually it just feels uncomfortable.
Time after Time I will feel stupid receiving peneration of any kind without clitoral stimulation bc I don't know if I'm gonna get off and I feel stupid about what the guy will think if I won't and I don't liket having To ask them to touch my cliT. Why don't they just do that to begin with ? I am surprised at how many guys will go right past a girls clit as though she is likely to come that way, which makes me feel dumb about having to explain clitoris 101 and it also just makes me feel like a less sexual person in both otf outr eyes.
In my experienc my g spot is very very very fickle and will change itTs mind and mood quickly and is very resisttant and shy. I wish that part of me was more outgoing and prone To pleasure easily rather than pain. I really only enjoy doing it myself, but don't know how to orgasm from iT, I cantt remembert how I did.

So anyways I'm on this mad quesT and It sucks feeling like no man can satisfy me this way.....
 
I would also like to add I'm 23 and I've been having sex since I was 16 and my g spo and I have been witness to some ridiculous sexual peacock dances in the form of penetration which in the end I feel is basically an insult to me as a woman and my g spot and an embarrassmentt for the male race.
So many times I've felt that a guys touch is trying to "tell" me to respond ratther than "asking" how I like to be touched, itts often more aggressive Than ttruly inquisitive and explorative, and when they doubtt my enjoymen they stupidly try to be more rigourous, ruining my harmony with tthem. When I tell them to go slower and lightter it becomes boring as theyt still stupidly look at me expectitng some magic to occur, but they are "waiting" for me to respond, not patiently "asking" me to, and tthey are "expecting," not "discovering."
U can say its all in how I see it but I feel tthat the majority of males give me this vibe themselves. And I dontt like feeling it. IT makes me feel like a sexual experimenT, not a woman.
how can I find or get men to understand somethtting that is not black and whiTe ?? Seriously I want some sex like tthis and I canttt find itT. I wantt itt to begin slow and discoverin and askingt, tthen slowly build to some carnal domination me and my pussy can trusT and believe in. We always come up shortt. My ex knows how o
My ex can discover butt can turn Itt intot thet eventtual domination I need.

How can I find a man or any men like this... And I have tto ask, why are so may guys going past the clit ?? Seriously why do they do this, its central to hteir success and they act like its an "add on" I thought thtis was common knowledge.
 
Have you ever had relations with a woman, if not is it something you would consider? Women know women's anatomy much more thoroughly, obviously, and know the basic wants and needs of a women often better than a man. When a man is trying to get himself off with a woman during sex, there often lacks a certain connection. When two women are trying to get themselves off, their missions are not so selfish and can be easily reciprocated via identical sexual acts. I suppose I am saying a woman might give you something a man cannot, even if you have a fling with a woman it may benefit you. A strap-on could be easily used if desired, so that you could possibly quell your desire for a vaginal orgasm. Just an idea.
 
You will only get that "carnal connection" with a man when you are not depending on him for your pleasure. Don't take it the wrong way but you come across a bit needy, like you must have a man to get off. In order to achieve carnal connection you must meet the man as an equal so that you are both exciting and able to give the other person what they need on an emotional, sexual and spiritual level, not just because you need a being attached to a cock to get you off. This level of objectification won't feel good to a man and won't allow him to feel confident or dominate you sexually.

If you don't feel it when massaging your g-spot I'd seriously consider investing in a rabbit vibrator or exploring other g-spot vibrators which simultaneously massage your clit. They are AMAZING and I'd be surprised if you won't get there with these. Once you've figured out how to reach mind shattering orgasms you'll be much happier sharing them with other men or guiding them to get you there, because you'll know exactly what you need.

"Time after Time I will feel stupid receiving peneration of any kind without clitoral stimulation bc I don't know if I'm gonna get off and I feel stupid about what the guy will think if I won't and I don't liket having To ask them to touch my cliT. Why don't they just do that to begin with ? I am surprised at how many guys will go right past a girls clit as though she is likely to come that way, which makes me feel dumb about having to explain clitoris 101 and it also just makes me feel like a less sexual person in both otf outr eyes."

You sound like you have some sort of performance anxiety with men, like you get so worried about having an orgasm you can't just let go and allow it to happen. This is common but you really need to just stop thinking about it and be in the moment when you're having sex. Also, if you need clit stimulation you have 3 options during sex, neither of which involve a lengthy conversation:

1. While he's fucking you, guide his hand there and make him touch your clit with his finger while whispering something along the lines of "I just find it soooo hot when you touch me there when you're inside me" (make sure you get his strong hand, nothing worse than a right-handed person using his left hand, hehe!)

2. In case he only does it for a while or the position is too awkward for him to do it properly - it's not always easy to "get there" with a girl without giving yourself a wrist injury - take charge, slide your own hand between your legs and start teasing your clit. I mean, why the hell not? Most guys will find it hot as hell, it's going to feel awesome and it's kinda kinky. You can whisper something along the lines of "you turn me on sooo much, I just can't help myself, keep fucking me HARDER", I know it works for me when I feel the need, I'd be very surprised if you don't come so hard your legs will shake for hours ;)

3. Get a vibrating cock ring or a bullet vibrator either of you can use on your clit during sex, or a "we-vibe" vibrator (just bought one, currently on a torturous 24-hour first charge - can't wait to use it!) which is less fiddly and should do the trick (http://we-vibe.com/)

xx
 
Thanks again for supplies. But seeing as I have a clit, an especially designed organ for RECEIVING pleasure, why's iT so hard To geT a nice cliT worshipping momenT in a hook up from a guy ? I mean I geT thaT a guys only going 2 enjoy making a girl feel good and not anything good himself physically. But seeing as the role of The clit for women is so well known, why aren't guys more into trying 2 acTual focus 2 it, rather Then Treat iT like an "add on" organ.. ? I geT That I have 2 do iT myself buT I'm preTTy sure a guy would Think iTs preTTy lame having 2 jerk his own cock off because I'm noT inTo ttouching iT and I see iT as an "add on" 2 the interacTion. Why are they like This I feel like They are knowingly justT Trying 2 shaft me, haha pun inTended.
 
Well, if you need clit stimulation to get off and want the guy to do it, and you're communicating this to them and no one is doing this for you... Sounds like you're with some lame ass crappy lovers and time to find new ones! Perhaps you should get with slightly older men who have lots of experience? Or just be very clear about your needs... Nothing to be embarrassed about! :)
 
I justt mean nowadays, I'm 23, why should I have 2 even ask a guy To do it ? I will if I have to, but guys, do guys have something against rubbing a cliT ? They don't go for it ofTen and when they do tthey only seem 2 wanT tto rub iT for a lil while, never to orgasm and I alwayts have to sTop them from going on to sometthing else or justt accept itt now turning intto a "side act." Guys can u plz tell me why a guy does This. My shame aboutt This whole issue is Thatt for the majority of my sexual life I've been nott wantting to ask for this because a mans natural actions ime has always been To noT direct primary focus to my clitt in the interaction, which has made me feel xcessive and needy , and boring tto want what I do. So guys whatt gives why would a guy acT like tThaT ? Can't help buT wonder if u all think itts boring rubbing a cliT... ?? Tired of feeling like itt may be so. I'm Tired of feeling like a chore or someone undesirable to be with because I wantt some real damn service and an orgasm or few. They're always trying to go for the big bang g spot buttt.... They won't find it. Trust me.
 
Hey if you live around me I can see what we can do ;D but have you looked into some sexual workshops
Ayurvedic/tantric/sutra/taoistic sex? You sound the same as a girl I knew once. Her qi was out of whack she was just orgasming wrong. I gave her a few pointers and knocked out her sex drive for a few weeks.
 
Maybe in addition to asking the guy to pay more attention to your clit, you can stroke it and/or use a vibrator on it while he's fucking you. Would that work for you?
 
Wow Venus, I think we are twins separated at birth..lol I know EXACTLY what you are going through girl. I try to tell my friends about my constant urges but they don't really get it. I don't really have any advice for you, I'm trying to figure out what to do myself, but don't listen to people if they call you a whore. I'm not gonna lie, im still in school and I have to hear it all the time. I embrace it though, it's who I am and I'm not going to deny it.
 
no seriously this has now turned into me outright asking... why do guys act like the clit is a side act ???? ok ? i mean its common knowledge that every girl can orgasm from that method and in my opinion its an excellent way to take the pressure off and actually get some pleasure i can DEPEND on, rather than "hope" for when it comes to penetration... aka... ORGASM.... so WHY do guys seem so reluclant to actually rub a girls clit till she gets off..... every time i hook up with a guy, EVERY TIME, DAMN NEAR, they seem to not want to pay any attention like they want to move on to more exciting and better things... WHY IN THE HELL DO GUYS DO THIS considering the knowledge we have about female sexual response these days.... to me having a guy touch my g spot is a very personal thing and 90 percent of the time i dont even want a guy there... lets just say my g spot doesnt trust most guys out there... and id rather listen to it... but a good way to earn trust in there is by offering me an orgasm by less DEEP means.... since i dont find it easy to emotionally let a guy into my "sex center." even if i didnt have trust issues... guys are idiots when it comes to figuring out a womans body so their best bet is to just go for the clit TO START OFF. they always want to be having this crazy animalisitc, faster paced, sex with smooth transistions from one activity to another but truth is they usually want to switch activities WELL BEFORE im heated up. tired of this. so i repeat my question... with a foreboding statement first. im tired of having to restrain guys and get them to realize the obvious. ... play with my fucking clit you idiots! why arent they doing this??? somebody please fill me in on why guys dont naturally do this. im 23 this shouldnt be rocket science considering most guys id sleep with are the same age or older.
 
thinking about this biologically further... it is an organ designed to RECIEVE pleasure... the clitoris really cant give anyone pleasure... but to me.... i understand that the MEANING of the clitoris is for a woman to be able to take some pleasure for herself without giving any to anyone i think the meaning of the clitoris is clear... like are men seriously pissed off or bored with the fact that a clitoris has absolutely zero use or interest in a penis ? are they somehow offended or feeling wierd about my organ?? like seriously i am starting to wonder what the male natural aversion and lack of apparent interest in the clitoris is.... can somebody fill me on on this, am i on to something here, or just going nuts.
 
people say speak up, ask, i am responding with... WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO. ISNT IT OBVIOUS I WANNA BE TOUCHED THERE. its kind of like a guy having to ask you to spend sometime going up to the tip of his dick... rather than just the lower half of the shaft... maybe some people just do it because a full stroke "naturally" leads there, but im pretty sure we all know that the head of the penis is pretty sensitive and guys like to be touched there. so even though my clitoris may be to the average partner trying to sex me ... in some kind of inconvienient location, where strokes dont "naturally" (which in my self love sessions and in any decent partnered sex, you bet they strokes naturally do go there) end up, why wouldnt a guy just know that iw ant to be touched there because its sensitive ??? like i think men are just trying to fucking shaft us here.
 
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