cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
The state I'm in.
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The Sad Thread (Anti-Snoo)
- Thread starter Mugz
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^^^
Ahhh Cherry I know we don't know each other but I've been round here long enough to know that your situation, despite your efforts doesn't seem all that great at the moment.
I have no wise words to offer, you heard most of them before and you know its all about what you do in the end anyhow, we all make our own excuses for the mess we make of ourselves, or at least I know I do.
Hang in there, we can all see your trying to climb out of a very big hole with little in the way of assistance, things / people circumstances seem to be making that climb all the more difficult but don't give up you have so much more life to live and you could turn this around in time.
Best Wishes to you
Ahhh Cherry I know we don't know each other but I've been round here long enough to know that your situation, despite your efforts doesn't seem all that great at the moment.
I have no wise words to offer, you heard most of them before and you know its all about what you do in the end anyhow, we all make our own excuses for the mess we make of ourselves, or at least I know I do.
Hang in there, we can all see your trying to climb out of a very big hole with little in the way of assistance, things / people circumstances seem to be making that climb all the more difficult but don't give up you have so much more life to live and you could turn this around in time.
Best Wishes to you
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
^ Thank you for the positive words. I'll put them to good use.
Mugz
Bluelighter
I like your new avatar Cherry 
Good luck getting better too
Good luck getting better too
YellowPolkaDotHalo
Ex-Bluelighter
Youll get through it love.. and emerge stronger and wiser at the end of it. Apparently the lovelyest lotuses grow up out of the muckyest of depths..
Mugz
Bluelighter
Just got a fb message from my sis saying that she is moving out, so I asked where, and she said to her car 
because my mum is detoxing from her pain med addiction and is being a bitch apparently and my sister can't take it. Makes me sad, not only because my mum is addicted to pain meds but because my sister is moving out to live in her car
because my mum is detoxing from her pain med addiction and is being a bitch apparently and my sister can't take it. Makes me sad, not only because my mum is addicted to pain meds but because my sister is moving out to live in her car Got the news yesterday that a work colleague finally passed away after a lengthy battle with a cancerous brain tumour, this started at the age of 19 and Warren fought this to the very end having has 3 operations and getting married only a couple of weeks ago at the age or 23.
I can't claim to have known him well, he was a juniour Customer Service agent and I'm an old git with a more senior job but he sat opposite me for a bit and I know he couldn't quite get his head round the fact I liked allot of thee DnB he was listening to.
I mailed him in the middle of last week, with some Youtube link, including the one with me in at a quarry party the 90's that I keep a secret at work.
RIP Warren your positive attitude was an inspiration to many people and I will take all the positives I can from your great example of living life day by day.
I can't claim to have known him well, he was a juniour Customer Service agent and I'm an old git with a more senior job but he sat opposite me for a bit and I know he couldn't quite get his head round the fact I liked allot of thee DnB he was listening to.
I mailed him in the middle of last week, with some Youtube link, including the one with me in at a quarry party the 90's that I keep a secret at work.
RIP Warren your positive attitude was an inspiration to many people and I will take all the positives I can from your great example of living life day by day.
Furious George
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2008
- Messages
- 643
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
The actual fucking point? Another fucking day, another dirty dollar spent as easily as I made it, for a sixty second high. Had enough.
Ahh come on Cherry even I know there's more strength in you yet, its all BS in the end when it comes down to it.
If your current brand of BS isn't hitting the spot you can change it, in fact only you can change it, don't dwell on what the fucking point of it all is, there over in another thread wasting their time with that shit.
Its about you and feeling at least able to face the day and live a bit, there's an old engineering phrase, I'm sure you've heard "if it's not broke don't fix it" well it works the other way around as well.
I ain't preachin at ya cuz I'm not in any position to do so, but you gotta make some changes and start moving towards the things in life that you want.....really want, not keep on doing things that move you further away.
If your current brand of BS isn't hitting the spot you can change it, in fact only you can change it, don't dwell on what the fucking point of it all is, there over in another thread wasting their time with that shit.
Its about you and feeling at least able to face the day and live a bit, there's an old engineering phrase, I'm sure you've heard "if it's not broke don't fix it" well it works the other way around as well.
I ain't preachin at ya cuz I'm not in any position to do so, but you gotta make some changes and start moving towards the things in life that you want.....really want, not keep on doing things that move you further away.
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
You don't know what changes I have or have not made. Little snippits here and there on BL do not paint a full picture of my life.
Sorry, that was me being snappy. I'm just sick of struggling on my on and keeping it all inside. There's some things peple don't understand, my friends tell me to just 'stop'. I fucking wish it was that easy.
I've just realised something that I'm trying to come to terms with, something pretty fucking bad to do with a person and the word No. I need to figure it out in my head, except I need to escape what could be the truth, so on with the things to block it out I go.
Sorry, that was me being snappy. I'm just sick of struggling on my on and keeping it all inside. There's some things peple don't understand, my friends tell me to just 'stop'. I fucking wish it was that easy.
I've just realised something that I'm trying to come to terms with, something pretty fucking bad to do with a person and the word No. I need to figure it out in my head, except I need to escape what could be the truth, so on with the things to block it out I go.
YellowPolkaDotHalo
Ex-Bluelighter
youll master it chez
Sage words, atm.
Cherry, I don't know you really beyond your posts here, but it's really tragic to see the number of false starts and setbacks you've been through.
I can't know your mind, your motivations, your fears etc. but I realy do think that some kind of total separation (be it physical or otherwise) from the people and the lifestyle associated with heroin and crack is the only way you're going to get through this, at least as long as you have other troubles on your mind, which I know you have (again only from your posts).
That isn't to say you're not a strong enough person to overcome it without that kind of separation, but the last few years of your life before the habit were enough of an upheaval for even the strongest of people, so there are bound to be lingering issues from all that went on back then. I've never really been a long-term heroin addict, but I know that as soon as I'd dabbled for the first time, it was never far from my thoughts whenever things went wrong in my life and I ended up getting burned once or twice when I leaned on it too heavily.
That's something I'm only just getting over now, and I moved across town to get away from the smack scene some six years ago. What I'm trying to say is that these kind of addictions (not all addictions though, I'll add) are usually a symptom of a deeper-seated malaise, and it's hard to work on solving these bigger problems when there's an escape route close to hand.
Hope you don't mind me chipping in with that, but I couldn't just let your post pass without comment. Disregard it if you wish, but good luck nonetheless.
Cherry, I don't know you really beyond your posts here, but it's really tragic to see the number of false starts and setbacks you've been through.
I can't know your mind, your motivations, your fears etc. but I realy do think that some kind of total separation (be it physical or otherwise) from the people and the lifestyle associated with heroin and crack is the only way you're going to get through this, at least as long as you have other troubles on your mind, which I know you have (again only from your posts).
That isn't to say you're not a strong enough person to overcome it without that kind of separation, but the last few years of your life before the habit were enough of an upheaval for even the strongest of people, so there are bound to be lingering issues from all that went on back then. I've never really been a long-term heroin addict, but I know that as soon as I'd dabbled for the first time, it was never far from my thoughts whenever things went wrong in my life and I ended up getting burned once or twice when I leaned on it too heavily.
That's something I'm only just getting over now, and I moved across town to get away from the smack scene some six years ago. What I'm trying to say is that these kind of addictions (not all addictions though, I'll add) are usually a symptom of a deeper-seated malaise, and it's hard to work on solving these bigger problems when there's an escape route close to hand.
Hope you don't mind me chipping in with that, but I couldn't just let your post pass without comment. Disregard it if you wish, but good luck nonetheless.
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
I don't see anyone involved in taking crack or smack anymore, bar one. Who I told to fuck off today after he got annoyed at me as I woudn't loan him a tenner to score. I'd already scored myself, and budgeted my money so I can pay off electric, debt, feed kittens, now i'm skint. He knows all my pay days, and when they are, how much I get, and how much i'll haveleft. He knows how to entice me back in when im weak. I worked out he's the one who's dragging me down.
I don't see much of my friends who are not. I wont reach out to them, but my phone never beeps with them asking me how I am, or inviting me anywhere. I've decided to stop involving myself, incase i'm only involved as I happen to be there at the time. Out of sight, out of mind maybe? Or just crack and smack paranoia? I think it's a mix of both if you ask me.
I also think someone has taken advantage of me and crossed a line in a way that no fucker ever ever should. I need to think about that one, once the flashbacks get clearer.
That spell it out enough?
I don't see much of my friends who are not. I wont reach out to them, but my phone never beeps with them asking me how I am, or inviting me anywhere. I've decided to stop involving myself, incase i'm only involved as I happen to be there at the time. Out of sight, out of mind maybe? Or just crack and smack paranoia? I think it's a mix of both if you ask me.
I also think someone has taken advantage of me and crossed a line in a way that no fucker ever ever should. I need to think about that one, once the flashbacks get clearer.
That spell it out enough?
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Cornishman
Bluelighter
I hope you at least manage to get off the white Miss Funk.
Can't you get into a rehab? Or just away somewhere?
Can't you get into a rehab? Or just away somewhere?
As I said I don't know you, I don't judge you, i have no expectations of you.....and I really, really understand its not just a question of stopping right now.
It sounds to me like your sortin things out movin in the right direction, but it doesn't sound like your getting allot out of your efforts at the moment, which could lead to you falling back on the things that make you feel better, in the case of those of us that abuse substances this can be like a chinese finger trap.
I've found that "drug" friends are often just that, it's not that there bad people it's just they have a set of priorities that aren't compatible with non users, or even those that are trying to avoid the using lifestyle, even if they are still maintaining a habit.
If some fucker has over stepped the line in the way a really hope he hasn't, just an address please
I have a particular dislike for such things.
Just take care of yourself for yourself, I only post because of genuine concern, I know that sounds weird, we've never met but you are a person to me and many others here, I don't really do friends these days but I do care what happens to people.
Best wishes C
It sounds to me like your sortin things out movin in the right direction, but it doesn't sound like your getting allot out of your efforts at the moment, which could lead to you falling back on the things that make you feel better, in the case of those of us that abuse substances this can be like a chinese finger trap.
I've found that "drug" friends are often just that, it's not that there bad people it's just they have a set of priorities that aren't compatible with non users, or even those that are trying to avoid the using lifestyle, even if they are still maintaining a habit.
If some fucker has over stepped the line in the way a really hope he hasn't, just an address please
I have a particular dislike for such things.Just take care of yourself for yourself, I only post because of genuine concern, I know that sounds weird, we've never met but you are a person to me and many others here, I don't really do friends these days but I do care what happens to people.
Best wishes C
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