Glad you're "okay"!
Great accounts. How would you rate the new stuff to peevee in perv terms?
Hope you stay safe as possible!
I don't quite know what to think, as things are SO much different this time around (FAR better, although as always compulsiveness is going to be a serious issue). I've vaped enough to knock down a racehorse or two in the past 20 hours but there's nothing but physical tiredness, mild to moderate tweakiness, mild sketch/scatter and the occasional delusional interpretations of sound that signal onset of sleep dep. No insanity, no getting lost in bizarre and absolutist head stories, nuthin. Still some sexual fireworks, although they are diminishing.
Well honestly tho, the real trouble didn't really start last time until after mebbe 50 hrs running + a few hours of sleep. I got up feeling totally shitty, burned out, exhausted, weak, and was stupid enough to pick up again instead of eat and go back to bed. Then reality went bye-bye, *really* bye bye and I didn't even know it was gone.
First I spent several thousand years in (essentially) nothingness, acting and thinking as a puppet mechanism with no will, and reality creating itself as it went along. Well, it was probably 30 hrs. or something, but to me it lasted thousands of years. I could affect nothing, do nothing, change nothing, merely witness what occurred.
Then I was alternating between Alpha Centauri in the year 789,222,444 A.D. with only me and a race of demons on the planet, and Earth in the middle ages B.C. attempting to begin the human race from my humble beginnings in the center of the earth and having trouble saving myself back in the past from the future across the galaxies because the devils scrambled the decoding sequence, foiled my attempts to rejoin myself from my separation as two ordinary office girls and God (all in different bodies) and prevent the destruction of life itself before it even got started, through working on it on a PC (which was really a Commodore 64) after it had ended.
The details above are from memory, but they are true, with minor differences in the order they took place... as u can guess, this was not a simple nuttiness. I believed everything I was thinking as the truth, as I thought it, and interpreted anything that happened in my surroundings to fit into the story.
Oh yeah, as it's actually quite interesting now to talk about this (*although deep in the ninth circle of acute madness, what the fuck, it's over, and my own thoughts are quite fascinating right now).... I'll mention that I also forgot and was unaware I was still vaping/taking hits. I just didn't know. What did I think I was doing? I didn't think anything. The foil pipe/baggie were in reality, and I was elsewhere.