TDS Social thread vs. 2012.1

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Bottling up emotions never helped me. People call me an asshole because I'm honest.

-Though I'll admit. Lying my face off every now and then certainly helps. Just don't let it catch up with you.

are you accusing someone of lying?

my roommate wasn't paying the electricity bill. just got shut off a few hours ago. at the library right now. bleh.
 
Up until about 3 years ago i struggled to cry i was very good at not doing so because id fel embarrased if i did or even feel weak,now if i feel the need to have a good weep i will and i feel so much afterwards to.It definately is some sort of release to cry if you need to its not a sign of weakness iv come to realise this myself now.
Sounds odd, but I am happy when I'm able to cry. I couldn't cry for such a long time. I tried because I thought I "had to" at some life events, but the tears wouldn't come. Now they come from time to time, and it releases so much pain and tension. It actually feels real.
 
Man, so many fucked up things happening :( My mom searched my room when I left for school yesterday. When I got home she told me she's been suspecting that I'm a drug dealer and that my brother and I have been using speed for the last 3 weeks. She said her beliefs were confirmed by the bag of pills I had in my room and all the symptoms I've been expressing (rolls eyes). They were cranberry pills, and I had to prove to her that they were completely harmless, completely legal, and in no way a psychoactive drug. I feel betrayed. If you look in the last thread I posted, I completely came out to them about things that I had been keeping from them for so long and lying to cover up because I was afraid to share my life with them and then I tell them the truth and they completely go behind my back and assume I'm lying and search my room. They were going to start paying me again and I swore to myself that I would never spend any of the money they gave me on weed, but I'm seriously reconsidering that now that I know they have no respect for my trust or my boundaries. I guess I don't care, might as well buy a huge bag of weed and call it compensation. I can't even believe they would do something like that. Everyday my mom swears to me she never lies, she swears she never would search through my room, and in the last 2 weeks she's lied to me a few obvious times and of course searches my room. The worst part is they didn't even say they did. I literally had to ask them where they got the vitamins to get them to say anything, so they had planned to keep it from me. I asked them as soon as I was leaving the table too, so it was obvious they had no intention of telling me unless I asked them. The last time they searched my room was when I was 12 when they caught me smoking weed for the first time. Now I come out to them completely honest and they betray me. I don't even know what to say. I have no reason to respect their trust of me anymore, and I don't trust either of them. I have only one person in this whole world who I know I can completely 100% trust.
 
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are you accusing someone of lying?
No, no I don't think he was.

Save yourself the time.
Remember DM, this is The Dark Side, not The Lounge ;)


I have been crying a lot of happy tears lately, too! Just thought I would throw that into the mix.:)

This world is truly amazing. People are amazing. And it all goes by very fast!

My big boy turns 24 today so I am waxing nostalgic. It will be sad to go out tonight because we are going to the same restaurant that we went to for his birthday last year and last year included Caleb. We were reminiscing about how long we had to wait to get a table and how Caleb was possibly the most impatient person on the planet. My sons both are such miracles--so different and yet equally fascinating to me. One goes on and gets older and I get to see the mystery unfold further. One left us far too soon and went into the mystery that we all find out about in due time. I am sad to think that my older son has no living brother anymore. I never wanted an only child. But, I am so proud of who he is; the empathy and understanding he gained from his brother will be part of him forever. I could go on forever LOL......better go visit blogs!
You are amazing herby, and your outlook never ceases to humble me. Much love to you and your family today, and happy birthday to your son!! <3
 
I have been crying a lot of happy tears lately, too! Just thought I would throw that into the mix.:)

This world is truly amazing. People are amazing. And it all goes by very fast!

My big boy turns 24 today so I am waxing nostalgic. It will be sad to go out tonight because we are going to the same restaurant that we went to for his birthday last year and last year included Caleb. We were reminiscing about how long we had to wait to get a table and how Caleb was possibly the most impatient person on the planet. My sons both are such miracles--so different and yet equally fascinating to me. One goes on and gets older and I get to see the mystery unfold further. One left us far too soon and went into the mystery that we all find out about in due time. I am sad to think that my older son has no living brother anymore. I never wanted an only child. But, I am so proud of who he is; the empathy and understanding he gained from his brother will be part of him forever. I could go on forever LOL......better go visit blogs!

Happy birthday to T <3 I hope he had a great birthday today! 24 is a great year. I hope you too had a good day and were able to enjoy it and did something fun and memorable for it. So much love to you and your family. <3<3<3

Also also Herb, I forgot to mention and I just realized lol today was my fathers birthday. I did just talk to him on the phone like two hours ago so how that just missed my mind is beyond me. x.x
 
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@ bad.... Sux when it happens hey, not only may you loose ur stash but the utter lack of respect for ur shit to go searchin thru it on the assumption ur on drugs, its especialy crazy in the states... but yer been ther bro..

Herbie i hope your boy is havin a blast and you too of course<3
things are better than yeaterday, i got an hour and a half off phonecall from a concerned lets say Mother fuigure but really good friend, shes ready to kick my ass and is gonna be militant on maintaing my diet right, shes a few hours away but were always in contact (im just lucky she cant reach all the way down here to slap me coz she would). Kids happy @ school and i thinks has just found out about boys 8o,
Managed to see the girlfriend today without any upsets, over all ok compared to the last days ive had... Been free of those antidepressants for a while now and am thinkin that it could be that... Thus im hesitant to go on the new anti depressant i was given... They are all just bad news for me and a month or so of quisi happyness but not urself... No thanks.
This shit belongs in the rant thread sorry folks for bein a bit negitive.... On a positive note i gotta txt this friend to organise a doggy playdate soon :\ am lookkin foward ot that they got a big neopolitan mastif whos full of good nature so im stoked about that. Also working up the balls to go beg for that cat, i just couldnt handle the NO atm would just bum me out. Two, Two birthdays ahh ha ha ha says the count... Happy birthday for ur dad stardust<3
 
^Most of us probably need that:D
For such a dark place we do have quite a rowdy crowd i recon;)
Rowdy but loving and caring.
Friday night, forcing a steak n some veg down for dinner with the kid tonite. A decent meal! Yay:\
 
Pretty chiled right now Thizz, got the posting bug and the kiddos on her way down to the pool (thers some others in there too) for a bit, i dun my swim for the day, its insane that my mood swings have been so severe of late. but right now im in a good spot, even though i had to deal with some people i didnt want to im back home, feelin ok and thats more than can be said than about the last well ages:\
Whats happening in Derptopia??:D
 
Hehe, Derptopia is doing alright, well, it's hanging in there but it's alright ;)
I'm drained but I'll still be online for a while.. What about Zombieland??
 
I'm excited for tomorrow. Gotta run by the neurologist to pick up my methadone script, then gonna run by the PCP to have a routine exam/pick up a amphetamine script (might be the last one for a long time, skipped last months, but taking a class the next 6 weeks). Then that means call a handful of pharmacies to try and find one that has both amphetamine 15mgx60 and methadone 10mgx60. I usually have to call a few places to get the amphetamines due to the shortages as of late, and seems like not everywhere has methadone in stock from my last experience in january. I called 4 places before I could find the methadone. If I can find one place for both I will be ecstatic. And I love the feeling of walking into a pharmacy, picking up two schedule II substances, and walking out. If I can pick my clonazepam tomorrow (might have to be Saturday), that might be the most exciting pharmacy visit in my life haha.
 
Holy shit Splat thats a hectic enough medicine schedule without having to chase it all over town... I had it before but, frustrating when 4 chemists in ur area dont have the damn pills u need and have to order em infor tomorrow:! (is why i make sure i got a day or 2 worth of xanax left every month)

Zombieland is the same as always Thizz... Full fo souldead, mass consuming, over wealthy but rather stupid zombies of a consumption based society and a monetary system designed to ultimitly fail (alot of these fuckers are waay overweight also), Thus the name of the location, i dont know why i even live here its poisionious for me but @ the same time thers so much beauty, nature and possibility of isolation if one chooses.:\

What about everyone else? dont have to tell us where, but do you like living where you do or are you stuck somewhere and wish ya could GTFO? Are you ther coz of work or family etc?
I'd be very interested to hear feedback on this one:)
 
i looooooove my city. i've been here for almost 9 years though and would like to move on eventually. i just need to stay here a couple more years and finish up school. :)
 
Ya I'm sorry. He's doing that on purpose though. No one gets it.

I'll just ignore him.. here.

-edit: Oh wait, neo got it. nm.

doing what on purpose? having emotions and expressing them? you always told me to go to TDS so i wouldn't bug you in the lounge. kindly leave ya douche.

anyway, my roommate is getting the DHS and his dad to pay for the electricity bill. i don't feel too bad about that considering $300 of the bill was from his old apartment apparently.
 
Sitting in the doc office atm for my appt. apparantly they are still at lunch... why schedule me at 1 if your going to be eating lunch. hope its a quick appt cuz the scripted dose of methadone is hitting me nicely. i rather be outside taking a walk. speaking of the methadone, i went back to the last pharmacy and had no problem getting it. im curious as to why the doc scripted me 120 5mg (5mg qid) rather than 10mg bid. rather have less pills but whatever. i also called up my usual pharmacy to see if they have amphetamine ir and they actually do, thank god i dont have to go on a hunt for it. honestly im a little nervous about getting the amp script again. a part of me wants to not touch the stuff but i could really use it for studying. the last time i took it i ended up getting a little manic/psychotic after stopping and hurt myself pretty bad. i cant let that happen again. im gonna try and make this the last script i get because i do have a rocky history with it. im curious how it mixes w/ done
 
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