This morning I have discussed about the urgent need of mine to switch to suboxone at my monthly methadone doctor appointments, routine blood tests my GP ordered have shown me to be having extremely low doses of testosterone and cortisol and also obvious symptoms such as very rapid gain weight, which was sudden I gotta say, my first 4 months on methadone were fine other than for the horrible constipation leading to me needing 4 laxatives to go take a shit every 3 days...anyways, I have been sent to have an urgent appointment with an endocrinologist who will give me testosterone injections since my levels are so low (which explains a lot, I have every symptom, except ED but I have zero interest to initiate sex and have very little endurance (the actual act of having sex is extremely tiring to me, just like everything else). So I have no choice, even if I am at 47mg of methadone as of today, I gotta be switched. They do not seem to consider Subutex an option at all at the clinic...maybe they do for people like me who have been great patients with never any trace of other opiates, which I am truly proud of, and I never stuck a needle in my hands or arms since October too..some sources and BL posts say that the naloxone in it can give people headache and some unwanted effects and seemingly a bit more say the naloxone is totally useless and one can even get high by IV'ing suboxone pills because bupe>naloxone when it comes to binding to mu receptors.....this is all a big headache in itself trying to figure out what to do and what will happen, which if any of you want to read why I think so, the following paragraphs follow to give a little more background, I really don't need a torn in my side called naloxone consider what I'm going through.
The day before I get to the hospital (the clinic is hospital it seems in canada, anyway my province), I will be given half a dose, then they will keep me inpatient and wait for me to in extreme withdrawals, well not too extreme, as there would be no difference in precipitated withdrawal and feeling like complete shit...they said 2 to 3 days should do the trick...3-4 times I have been a bad patient, which they don't know fortuantely and have abused a takehome, so I did endure a day without methadone at least 3-4 times, but that was when I was at 60 and 55mg, not when I then dropped slowly to 53, 51, 49 and now 47. The good news is that they will feed me my usual medication and that I am allowed to take benzos as per the order of my psychiatrist, I have never abused my benzos, at least, not to the ridiculous point many posts in here and places like 420chan have made me see some people do (25mg of xanax ? 400mg of valium ? some people lack fucking common sense)...I would get horrible withdrawals when I would take a bit too much valium, which only translated to taking 30mg 5-6 days a month leading to me being valium less for a week a couple times and that made me consider suicide unlike opiate withdrawal...
Anyways, I know I start to feel really bad about 36 hours in...i am scripted 2 benzos, valium 10mg bid and xanax .5mg as needed only and i only get 15 a month of them....I hope they will consider the as needed when I will be there and give me some everyday and more maybe if the doctor judges it necessary....I know all about the other comfort meds, I have scripts for them all! Hydroxyzine, clonidine (which I only take after I do a small reduction like now and start to get the sweat chills, skin crawling and skin burning sensations) and tagamet, as well the benzos. Sometimes I praise the lord, ironically, since I am an agnostic at best..that my psychiatrist acknowledge I am a danger to myself and others without benzos....please enlighten me.
At first I considered methadone a saviour, but suddenly out of the blue in march I gained about 60 pounds, developed borderline low levels of cortisol, borderline diabeetus, borderline needing cholesterol pills and extremely low testosterone levels, my doc says the normal for my age is 400 nanograms, i'm at 66 nanograms...i gotta say i took those blood tests after staying up 2 days on dexedrine and then went to bed, but i told the doctor, i'm allowed to have my add meds so I can make some money working at home...and she said it shouldn't play much on blood levels of such important things.
Methadone made me balloon and get bitch tits when I never was fat in my whole life, I'm 6'1 and 200lbs at my normal self, i had gotten to 187 lbs when I went to clinic in October but that was due to me putting all my money on illicitly obtained dilaudid, hydromorph contin, supeudols and demerol....fuck....being 6'1 and 260lbs makes me feel so unhealthy...especially with these last blood test results...
Anyways, I doubt plain buprenorphine can be used (Subutex), I tried to explain to her that the Naloxone in suboxone was useless, she said maybe I was right, but that it wasn't in her control, the clinic offers methadone or suboxone and that's it, and most of the time people can only get suboxone if the methadone gives them way too many side effects, like me.
Wish me some good for those 2-3-4 days i'll spend at the hospital for when they'll watch me go into withdrawal and then give me 2mg..and if that's not enough 2.5mg and so on....I'm only at 47mg of methadone right now..so I don't think I'll get to huge doses over 8mg.