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Women and Badboys

First of all, that pic was awesome. Don't hate.

Anyway, I think I have balanced the masculine and feminine aspects within myself, and I would expect the same from any girl I would want to be with. I do like to be a bit more socially dominant, and prefer to be with a woman who is physically fit and shorter and lighter than me (not manly looking). It is probably a dominance thing, honestly. I just get submissive in the bedroom. It is kind of weird, but a good looking woman who gets violent with me is a bit of a turn on. Probably more about letting go of control in the situation or something. I'm sure any psychologist could come up with some bullshit psychobabble that would sum up my idiosyncrasies. Anyway, I actively seek women who could kick the shit out of me and challenge me. I like taking care of a woman, but don't want to be obligated to it, if that makes sense. I want a mate who can take care of themselves when I'm not there too. I have a severe distrust of any weakness I see in others. Weak people have fucked me over a lot in the past, both significant others and otherwise.

I totally agree with FinalRest, the only people who deserve a good stomping are people who start shit. Anyone who ever tried to take my shit from me never got it, and anyone who ever asked for help always got it. The only people who have managed to take my shit did it behind my back, thieving pieces of shit (they are probably all dead now - drug addicts). I used to live in a rough neighborhood and one time I was pumping gas and about a half dozen little gang bangers came up on me and demanded my cash. I told them to fuck off or get bled out. It is all about how you are approached by people. If those kids had asked politely for a dollar I probably would have gave it to them, but I could see the gears turning in their stupid little heads - Oh look, a clean cut white guy is on the wrong block, I think I'll take his money so I look cool in front of my friends. Actually, the guy I was with in the car thought it was so funny the way I mad-dogged them that he tossed them a buck. Homeless people used to always knock on my door though because I always gave them food and never talked shit to them. They always asked nicely and were taken care of accordingly. I only ever had problems with one of them because she was too fucked up and couldn't make it off my front porch. I tried to point her toward a park across the street but she wandered off in the other direction. Really there is only so much you can do for people.

I think that this thread is plenty entertaining. I see no need to keep saying "this isn't productive blah blah blah". If you aren't enjoying the conversation then don't read/post. There is no harm being done here.
 
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Lysis said:
lol well, money can fix that problem.
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You don't really believe that, do you? I love me some rich girls, but I can tell you right now that I couldn't date an ugly girl for all of the money in the world -- and I'm not saying that because I am some truly outstanding, moral person. I just couldn't do it; I think I'd roll over, take one look at the ugly mug, and tell her straight-up, "girl, listen, you've got lots of money and I love driving your dad's porsche, but you're just a total dumpster fire. I'm out of here..."
 
paranoid android said:
I guess i could be considered a bad boy with all the fighting, drinking, drug use, casual sex and general may ham that my past has consisted of. In my experience girls don't like guys who go over the top and start fighting everyone after they get a few rum and cokes into them. You just come off as a asshole that way. But most women Ive known do like a guy who they know will stick up for them whatever the odds and can handle himself in a scrap. Most women like a guy who can atleast fight better then them and can handle some douche bag perv who might start some trouble.
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You sound a bit like my boyfriend, but I'm not talking about guys who are posers or go out of their way to start things like that, that is just embarressing. What I mean more is guys who can't help getting into situations like that, despite of doing what they can to avoid it, as it causes so much trouble for them. There is a difference, in my opinion.
 
Also, to me, looks are just the wrapping, personality is the content and effects me a 100 times more, that's why I'm so interested in different male personality types. I have to go through a hundred good looking guys to find one I take any special notice of. The rest I view more as decorative items or more like I view pleasent looking women. The connection, emotional response, and stimulation from their personality is what really excites me, but if you can get that from a guy who's nice to look at, why not? Guys are not ashamed to admit they prefer hot women and I don't see why females should need to apologize. But given the choice I'd rather have a more average looking/borderline bad looking guy with an amazing personality than a great looking guy with no personality or emotional effect on me. But then again there are few guys with amazing personalities, good looking or not.
 
MyFinalRest said:
Honestly, I wouldn't give a damn if a girl asked me before kissing me. That seems like a pretty insignificant thing to get taken aback over. Your "romantic moods" are awfully fragile. "You" ruined it; not him.



From what I've read of your posts, you seem like a difficult type of person that's for sure. You shouldn't make things so difficult for others and yourself. You're never gonna have success with men if you don't let them know how you feel so they can feel comfortable being around you. The only guys that will stick around with you (for a while) are ones who straight up don't give a fuck about how you feel.

People on here think I'm an ass, but damn, I don't play that "act agressive or I'll walk all over you" type of stuff. That's just evil. I'm the opposite. I only enjoy walking over the aggressive fuckers in this world. Gentle people recive gentleness from me in turn. Maybe you need to start going to church :) haha.
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I am difficult. I have standards. As for you not caring about a girl asking, you're a guy. Of course not.

As for your aggressiveness, let's keep it to being civil. You're walking a line. Not just with me, but with others. This is a support forum, so chill out.
 
verso said:
You don't really believe that, do you? I love me some rich girls, but I can tell you right now that I couldn't date an ugly girl for all of the money in the world -- and I'm not saying that because I am some truly outstanding, moral person. I just couldn't do it; I think I'd roll over, take one look at the ugly mug, and tell her straight-up, "girl, listen, you've got lots of money and I love driving your dad's porsche, but you're just a total dumpster fire. I'm out of here..."
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Yes, I do. Not saying I agree with it. I've had plenty of opportunities to sleep with rich men, but I don't have that in me. But, I totally believe money is a huge factor, if a dude is really that ugly and gross. I know girls who would overlook it for money. Sometimes, when I can't afford to buy something for the month, it's tempting. lol But honestly, I doubt I could do it. Personality and intelligence and the strong go-getter type with a feeling of knowing what they want are all very important to me. If the guy is a huge douchebag with money, it would just not work for me.

Maybe try a German accent if you want to seem extra-badass. I'm gonna try that next time.
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Oooh, an accent. /swoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon
 
Didn't read the entire thread but men often go for 'bad girls' too.. I don't think it has anything to do with attractions to that particular attribute of the person. People who are "bad" (in my mind these are people who probably have loose morals, maybe cheat in relationships, are somewhat emotionally unstable, are possibly financially reckless, and maybe use drugs/alcohol a lot) are probably also more outgoing, and thus, easier to wind up with simply by logistics alone. I don't know that the girl loving badboy stereotype is true I think that they probably just want to get with somebody, its usually easy to get with a bad boy, and then it doesn't work out, so it breaks up. Whereas, if they settle down with a good guy, there's less drama, and it lasts a long time, you're looking at a girl out of the market for a longer period of time. So numerically it just looks like girls are more into badboys but that simply because the life expectancy on those relationships is so much shorter.

Meh.. who knows. I gave up trying to figure out genders and figure we're all probably pretty similar.
 
^ Just got to go with the flow. Bad boys are usually not worth the time, but good boys are usually just so damn shy it hurts to work with them. If we could just blend them together a bit, we'd be perfect. lol
 
Ninae said:
Like I said, in this day and age most conflicts are pshychological, so it mostly comes down to social power and qualities which helps you achieve that, i.e. verbal and mental ability, the most verbally dominating man in a group is usually preferred by women, and other qualitiies like aggression, emotional strength, sheer power, and whatever allows you to achieve social dominance. This is how men of smaller size can be more socially powerful and dominant.
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People can have social dominance, but fail to retain a captive audience through which to assert their dominance. Being a social creature in modern times means adopting traits like self-deprecation, easygoingness, and means you have to share the stage when in a group. It's a balancing act. Nobody wants to feel marginalized in a social setting and those who always make it about themselves quickly realize that they are fighting a losing battle to retain friends, or worse all the "friends" they do have are social climbers and sycophants, and these relationships are meaningless.

Men of social power also tend to be bullies, just because they can be, and even look for situations where they can demonstrate their power (i.e. "Did you spill my pint?"). Which I find kind of moronic.
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It goes back to what I was saying before. 90% of the time, a guy can assert his dominance over a random stranger, pump himself up and walk away laughing. The 10th time they try this, they're going to get the shit knocked out of them. The guy who doesn't start altercations has a much better chance of going home instead of the hospital at the end of the night. In your initial post, you said that your biggest fear would be your partner losing his life. All I'm saying is that statistically speaking, not dating assholes provides you with the best chance of avoiding your biggest fear.

All the same, violence is still a part of the male world, much more so than the female. I guess it depends what environments you are part of, but it does happen, and is a constant threat to you as a man. More so if you are more masculine and more easily aroused that way. As for being selfish, yea, I guess I don't mind a guy demonstrating some strength just to make me horny, hahah. But I spend a lot of time making myself look good for the opposite sex so it seems only fair they should suffer some in return. :) Anyway, badboys totally get this as it's part of their nature, and being willing to get involved in fights/conflicts doesn't usually decrease their chances of survival. They seem to see it more as practice. I didn't understand them before, but I kind of do now. And I don't think a man should go around all his life hiding from any conflict.
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I don't think you can compare an extra hour in the bathroom with provoking others in an effort to demonstrate your masculinity. Honestly, it sounds like you're an enabler, and maybe even an encourager of this type of behavior. Getting in fights/conflicts, unless you're picking on the weak (which just makes you a piece of shit) obviously does put a person at risk. One of my best friends growing up loved to push people's buttons after he got a few drinks into him. He would find some douchey looking guy at the bar, and he would try to generate a conflict. Naturally, girls like you loved it. and he was encouraged by the positive attention. He would always work it to make the other guy look like the instigator and he would talk him down - and like I said, 90% of the time it worked well. I was impressed. But I'll tell you, I've never seen a guy get the shit beat out of him more often either. Because sure enough, he would always eventually mess up, pick a bad target, or a good target who had the wrong friends hanging about, and get his face smashed in.

So to say that there's no risk involved is incorrect. If you walk around treating people like shit and manipulating them, it's a roll of the dice. I think you'll find this to be especially true as you get older, as people tend to have a much lower threshold for bullshit.
 
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Wow, I guess I really killed the thread with that last post. Sorry everyone, didn't mean for all discussion to cease :(
 
Do you say "self-deprecation" and "easygoingness" as if they are bad things? Also, many circles may differ on their tolerance level to such things.
 
Ninae said:
You sound a bit like my boyfriend, but I'm not talking about guys who are posers or go out of their way to start things like that, that is just embarressing. What I mean more is guys who can't help getting into situations like that, despite of doing what they can to avoid it, as it causes so much trouble for them. There is a difference, in my opinion.
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Well since Ive only gotten myself into maybe one real fight since i was 25 or so that's not bad especially when you consider the types of people i am often around. Also where i live it's sometimes a choice of staying away from clubs and friends if you want to avoid the types that think starting a fight somehow proves they are tough and the odds of this happening goes up with alcohol consumption.

But yeah i have a few friends that just can't seem and avoid trouble at all and fall ass backwards over into it. Most of those friends of mine are now doing prison time for assorted things :\
 
aanallein said:
People who are "bad" (in my mind these are people who probably have loose morals, maybe cheat in relationships, are somewhat emotionally unstable, are possibly financially reckless, and maybe use drugs/alcohol a lot)
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Ha, I love bad girls, and you basically described my exact type. For me I love the challenge and the volatility. I like to be kept on my toes and I'm afraid of getting bored with someone. My problem is that initially I come off as a bad boy quite often but I'm actually a really solid guy underneath. So sometimes the bad girls think I'm 'too nice' even though its just me being a decent human being. Its always more fun to be bad.
 
Great post Cyc.

Thank you for sharing that. I think that perspective was much needed in this thread.

I think some recent studies indicate men who fight or "go to war" and win have a greater chance of sexual or reproductive success.

It is what it is.

:)
 
Noodle said:
Great post Cyc.

Thank you for sharing that. I think that perspective was much needed in this thread.

I think some recent studies indicate men who fight or "go to war" and win have a greater chance of sexual or reproductive success.

It is what it is.
:)
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You really know what it is? I don't think so.
 
I think you like stirring the pot.

But that isn't what I am talking about. I don't really see a need to be so rude and confrontational.

:)
 
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