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getting a girlfriend without a job

bighooter

bighooter

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
1,660
I have no job

and the girl who I was recently going out with dumped me because she said her head is all messed up coz shes had her kid taken off her.
- But she still likes me.

I can only just afford to eat let alone spend any money on her as I dont have a job, ive tried every where but I have a criminal record and considering ive been a flatout druggie for the last 8 years I pretty much look like a demon... so theres no way anyone will employ me in the current state of affairs.

For this reason I feel like a worthless piece of sh1t when it comes to making this girl happy and hence why I have kind of backed off since she split with me even though she says she still likes me.

I just want to know whether any girl would ever go out with someone who doesnt have a job.

I have insane ambition and crazy willpower to succeed even though I have failed enough times I will still get up early in the morning read, excercise, do anything to make myself into a better more employable person.

Its just having a girl who really likes me is driving me insane knowing that if I had a job i'd almost guarantee we'd be together... man i feel so low it makes me feel like topping myself.
 
At this point in your life, it seems like you shouldn't focus on finding a girl, but you should focus on the whole job issue first. I'm not sure exactly how old you are but a job is pretty important. My advice would be to keep working towards getting a job and then focus on things like girlfriends.

As for the original problem ... well would I date someone without a job? Without a job completely and has been out of a job for a while ... probably not. I'm 21, I just graduated college, I work two part time jobs. My bf is 21 as well, he's in his last year of college, and he works two part time jobs as well. If he couldn't find a job right out of college, I wouldn't dump him or anything, but if he didn't have a job for like years and years, then there would definitely be some sort of issue. I need to be financially stable in life. I need my boyfriend to be as well. I don't make enough to support two people so I can't really do that. But it does depend on the girl.
 
Job first,
then gf .

Ive not been able to find any decent solid work for a while, ive been alone for a year and a half,
Tbh its getting to me,
but i know i cant really have a gf until im working,
its part of my pride and atm i have none
 
I fell hard for a girl a few years back. She was a stripper at the time. I met her on her week off, the day she moved into a new place. Started off great. Really took interest. Wanted me to stay over night first night, and to stick around. I could tell, or got the feeling she wanted me to just stay... stay... but I didn't have a job, for one. I got the feeling she was rescueable... she hated what she did, at least in light of having a nice guy around that shared interest. She mentioned a few times to me that she didn't want to go back.

I said nothing. What could I say? I had no place for her to go. If I had, maybe things would have been.different, but they're not.

My insecurity about not being able to be what I expected a man to be sabotaged it.
Basically just saying I understand...

At that time I hadn't had stable job for years, either, and had three drug related charges on record.

Restaurants are a good place to start. Do you have a car? Pizza delivery can be quite lucrative if you're willing to put in the hours. Most places are always in need of closers... people are always burning out.


And what others said.
 
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llama112 said:
At this point in your life, it seems like you shouldn't focus on finding a girl, but you should focus on the whole job issue first. I'm not sure exactly how old you are but a job is pretty important. My advice would be to keep working towards getting a job and then focus on things like girlfriends..
Click to expand...

totally agree, your number one focus should be making money.
 
Are you going to get the hot blonde with everything going for her? Probably not. It's not impossible to "get a girl" with no job, but you need one of those anyway, so like others have said, get a job then worry about a girl. If you happen to run into a girl who is interested, maybe something will spark with or without a job.

However, part of being stable in life in general is money, so you'll be in a better situation with a job.
 
Man stop using drugs, or cut down, find a job, make money, then find a girl..
with a criminal record u could work at fast food, or construction, there are plenty of jobs u can get with a criminal record
 
To be honest m8, if you're trying your hardest in your circumstances (using drugs and no job is me also), then I really don't think that should totally dictate what happens if she loves you. I actually met my current girlfriend at work, and worked with her for about 4 years before we got together, it was quite funny actually, would have never thought what would happen back then. I had to resign 2 years ago, and she still works there very hard, and I admit that my relationship isn't as close with her the past few months, and I do also beat myself over it being me all the time (not being able to buy things for her, not having a job, etc.) Although this doesn't help a relationship at all, I dunno if it is going to be all of what ends it.

In a perfect world I would love to not have to be on any medication right now and finally have a bloody job, but for me with my mental health it just can't happen at the moment. I'm 26, living at my parents house most of the time, and my GF is 38, has a house, 3 kids and is always working. So she is the opposite of me and it makes me feel fkn useless haha 8)
 
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Thanks for this thread! It got me thinking more about myself lately, how I've been beating myself up non stop over being unemployed. I just sent an email to my girlfriend. She will probably think i'm putting myself down as usual but I just told her along the lines of that she deserves so much more for what she does and wish all was good and i was able to do more than i can for people.
 
bighooter said:
For this reason I feel like a worthless piece of sh1t when it comes to making this girl happy and hence why I have kind of backed off since she split with me even though she says she still likes me.

I just want to know whether any girl would ever go out with someone who doesnt have a job.

I have insane ambition and crazy willpower to succeed even though I have failed enough times I will still get up early in the morning read, excercise, do anything to make myself into a better more employable person.
Click to expand...

MOST GIRLS won't go for a dude without a job, but it's all about ATTITUDE.

A women looks a guy with influence, wealth, and prospects.

You say you feel like a worthless shit etc etc blah blah blah - your confidence is shot, and you're throwing barriers up in front of yourself, regarding work. If you really have the insane ambition (insane it sounds like yes...the devil smells his own) and willpower you say you do, gettign a job (anything) to pay the bills should be no trouble at all - be resourceful, network and use your imagination, and don't throw boundaries in front of yourself - it's bad enough other people do it in life.

To be honest - it doesn't sound like you're ready for a relationship - your view of yourself and your prospects is AWFUL, why would anyone in their right mind be with you right now? Putting it bluntly, only people who don't respect themselves enough, are insane, have known you for a long time, or are too young to understand about this kinda responsibilities would do.

Concentrate on getting your life in shape and then you can link as many girls as you please, or take your pick of women to have as your missus. Work on yourself first.

Tude said:
Look for a girl that's unemployed.
Click to expand...


hahah that's a great one.
 
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First thing - SLOW DOWN WITH THE DRUGS. I was in prison for four years. When I got out no one wanted to hire me. At least that's the attitude I took towards the situation. I got a job two months later because although I was down on myself I kept trying. Someone will hire you eventually but, you have to put more effort into finding and keeping a job than the guy without the criminal record. After I was working I started to build my self-esteem back up. I decided to further my education. It is now six years since I have been released. I have a great job (I'm the boss). I bought a house and I have two cars. I have also had a great relationship and one not so great. Don't beat yourself up just move forward and put the past behind you.
 
^ Good on ya darl. That sounds like a huge fantastic turn around. I look at stories with changes so big like that, from prison to employment/house/relationship and just go "woooaah, I wish that was me!" haha. You are dead right though to say SLOW DOWN WITH THE DRUGS first. I know this is ridiculously easier said than done, but quite often it is the thing that needs to be done. Back when I was working with my girlfriend before we even saw each other outside of work, I was either absolutely off my face almost every single day at work, or if I wasn't I was going through withdrawals. My GF has told me she never thought I was a drug user until since we started becoming friends, one day at work I told her my story and that I was high at the time. She never "started chasing me" until I had slowed right down with the drugs, and today will tell me to stop talking if I ever reference to drugs. I can understand this.
 
Been there done that. Was on unemployment and had one lame ass girl, then got a decent girl, then got bored dating. But I always had confidence. If you don't have confidence then learn to fake it. Fake it till you make it as they say.

I'm young but I'm not a kid so its definitely something that happens... But you can get a job. I used to work at McDonalds and have shown up high, drunk, benzoed, after smoking rocks or shooting dope, etc but my favorite was tweaking. It was obvious as hell I was fucked up all the time. You may think well yah thats McDonalds. Well its a start I've worked many jobs better and worse...

Lower your standards on a job and you can raise your standards on a girl. ;)
 
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