Does anyone have any recommendations for severe anxiety? (I've read up on beta blockers and they seem potentially useful?) Basically, this past year since finishing school and not being able to find work, I seem to have stumbled down into a pretty dark self loathing place mentally and it seems to be getting in the way for things that were previously "normal" activities in life.
My biggest issue is the attacks of 'Fight or Flight Syndrome', since my self confidence and acceptance has been completely tarnished I seem to get this whenever talking to girls, the leg shaking breaks out etc. and it's quite possibly the most self-depreciating thing I've ever felt. i wouldn't mind if it was a one off but it seems to have happened a few times now and I just don't know how to deal with it. I also had this happen when being searched by police when very high, I guess that is an anxious moment but the two friends that were with me at the time that were also searched didn't experience this affect, and again it just made me feel like shit afterwards. And again I've had this at job interviews, when i never used to.
I also seem to be struggling with the entire concept of actually getting work, progressing etc. I don't know why but because it's been so long since I've had a routine, and actually been socialising regularly with a non-select group of friends, the whole idea of working in an environment that I'd have to talk to people in is extremely stressful to me, and my mind just tells me I wouldn't be able to do it. I honestly cannot fathom why this is, as at school I was always completely fine with talking to anyone, I had a relatively large amount of friends and never worried about anything socially. What also gets me, is that even this year when I have had to talk to strangers, meet new people etc. I've been completely fine, I haven't panicked or found it difficult, I just get on with it and it is easy, and thus this is purely a mental a issue. For some reason my mind just seems to put me down all the time, and make me think I'll have all these difficulties with such simple things and really its torturing me, I hate it and I don't know what I can do to get out of this horribly negative mindset. It is clearly preventing me from finding work, as things that I'd probably really enjoy like bar work, I just can't comprehend myself being able to do it, when in actuality I probably could quite easily.
This isn't fully related, but while I'm on the topic of this anxiety, I might as well mention it... Basically I have also developed a huge anxiety towards taking psychs. I used to trip a decent amount, always feeling fine and in complete control, more so than others, would happily trip alone or be 'the experienced one' for others that were more nervous about tripping. But for some reason I have a horrible apprehension of actually tripping. I think this was due to an experience in which I felt completely overwhelmed and it spiralled down horribly in my mind of how wrong everything is with my life and how such shallow thoughts like lack of confidence have taken over me. But the idea of that potentially taking place again and prevented me from wanting to trip completely, I've taken psychs since and had a fine time, but I'm too 'on the look out' while tripping now to fully lose myself in the moment and gain what I used to from them.
Basically tl;dr i hate what my life has become and I don't know how to deal with it
Even if you need a little chemical assistance.
