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Mdma recovery! Please help.. anyone with similar experience ? Please! This is hell

It was at first even went days without sleeping sometimes but then it started to get better, I'm on trazadone and I take melatonin and it helps. I can sleep a solid 10 hours now sometimes more.
 
socrilus said:
another example of how GABA seems to implicated as a part of this LTC somehow....

And everybody is always talking about serotonin.
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because it's a destruction of inhibitory GABA interneurons. Says Doctor Abraham. I'm a firm believer that HPPD and the LTC are very similar in their biology.
 
ADubbs said:
because it's a destruction of inhibitory GABA interneurons. Says Doctor Abraham. I'm a firm believer that HPPD and the LTC are very similar in their biology.
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Dr. Abraham didn't say this about interneurons to you in person though did he?

A PhD neuro/psychopharm has told me that the interneuron loss theory was complete conjecture and that he probably had to throw out a pathophysiological theory out there in order to get it registered as a diagnosis (as per the regulator's wishes)

But there was never any actual evidence for that theory, or the theory that HPPD may be due to loss of serotonin receptors on interneurons. It doesn't necessarily make sense that HPPD symptoms are due to some sort of loss of interneurons because people can remit rapidly with meds

Theories that such visual disturbances, along with tinnitus, are due to some sort of cortical hyperexcitability jive a lot better, and LTCs could have a lot to do with issues in cortical communication - so in that sense the HPPD symptoms and LTC could share common ground.
 
Cotcha Yankinov said:
Dr. Abraham didn't say this about interneurons to you in person though did he?

A PhD neuro/psychopharm has told me that the interneuron loss theory was complete conjecture and that he probably had to throw out a pathophysiological theory out there in order to get it registered as a diagnosis (as per the regulator's wishes)

But there was never any actual evidence for that theory, or the theory that HPPD may be due to loss of serotonin receptors on interneurons. It doesn't necessarily make sense that HPPD symptoms are due to some sort of loss of interneurons because people can remit rapidly with meds

Theories that such visual disturbances, along with tinnitus, are due to some sort of cortical hyperexcitability jive a lot better, and LTCs could have a lot to do with issues in cortical communication - so in that sense the HPPD symptoms and LTC could share common ground.
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No it was quoted exactly as printed on an image showing a brain's limbic system, some or other slide used in a lecture sometime somewhere fuck knows, dude this whole meth situation is getting out of hand. I went from your simple old natural amphetamine analogue abuser straight through the ranks of captain, sargeant and major and am now the proud general of my very own crystal problem. I have booked into an off-shore rehab as total last resort and booked a room untill further notice. Dude, if I test positive again, poof, there goes my inheritance, this is serious I can hosestly now say without a doubt when aunty tina comes around to play, you novice tweakers should stay away.

My parents walked in my side of the house and found me, blasting techno in the bathroom, Korn in the lounge and O Habenaro Opera in the hallway ceiling speakers leading into the wing. and what am I doing, lying wearing only socks on the floor with my head under the bed looking for what I suspect is a stolen pair of Gucci indoor Sunglasses...
 
JK25 said:
No it was quoted exactly as printed on an image showing a brain's limbic system, some or other slide used in a lecture sometime somewhere fuck knows, dude this whole meth situation is getting out of hand. I went from your simple old natural amphetamine analogue abuser straight through the ranks of captain, sargeant and major and am now the proud general of my very own crystal problem. I have booked into an off-shore rehab as total last resort and booked a room untill further notice. Dude, if I test positive again, poof, there goes my inheritance, this is serious I can hosestly now say without a doubt when aunty tina comes around to play, you novice tweakers should stay away.

My parents walked in my side of the house and found me, blasting techno in the bathroom, Korn in the lounge and O Habenaro Opera in the hallway ceiling speakers leading into the wing. and what am I doing, lying wearing only socks on the floor with my head under the bed looking for what I suspect is a stolen pair of Gucci indoor Sunglasses...
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I didn't even notice them, I went through the CCTV footage later on to find the Gucci thief (found them in the shower) and saw the most disgusting looks on their faced and they just walked away. coming home to this mess after an international from Munster could not have been pleasant, only child, only heir to their part of the family's holdings and poof, only son is gay and about to book into rehab 8 or 9 now. Fuck me man I go to rehab every year. I always looked at it as a holiday, resting, reducing drug tolerance to baseline so the effects will have kick again. Oh no here I go again. This stuff is too strong man. Fuck it's like mixing normal dextro-amphetamine with 50 or so micro grams of LSD. it's not really tripping but it is also you know? I don't know I've missed the last months worth of lectures and didn't lecture my after-school latin class for the slow learners, avoiding the ringing phone and they just stopped calling after like the 4th one I didn't pitch up at, there goes good stable boy image. Fuck Facebook it is only used as a digital marketing tool now, fuck can't remeber when I last went on, I can't share this shit in Instagram because what? am I going to post long vat lines in the Bentley as an update? This site if where I feel at home. Fuck man someone should start a thread for trust fund cunts like yours truly fucking up what is the best lifestyle attainable on this planet in this time and age.

.............fuck this shit.
 
What day is it again? Who's the blonde guy lying in my bed? Oh my soul I've lost it, totally lost it. Wait, after you lose it the first time do you get it back again, what is it? Can you smoke this "it" that was lost. I don't know but "it" may have been in the shower all along. Go find it and tell it to stay where it was initially, it was given no free will. Oh my fuck I can't. Wait, no no no, I don't think I've ever had it to start with. SHit this stuff is strong dude. I bet them Desoxym 5mg pharmacuetical quality pure Methamphetamine HCL tablets you force feed to the little fuckers who wont sit still at the age of 5 is really good shit. Medical Meth, Jesus only in America.
 
cloudandmountain said:
Just one month. I was at a festival which was sweltering hot and decided to candy flip. I was fine for 2 days afterwards and then started having terrible insomnia and started to notice a stinging sensation in the back of my head that fluctuates in intensity. The seroquel is an antipsychotic that's supposed to help me fall asleep by "calming my thoughts" but it only puts me out for a couple hours at a time... The bad nights of sleep are making this a lot harder to deal with. I can slowly feel myself enjoying things again, but I can't help but think I've done some damage that may not heal... Has your sleep schedule been noticeably affected?
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yes messed up sleep is one common symptom of the LTC....it was absolutely horrible for me in the beginning
 
Cotcha Yankinov said:
Dr. Abraham didn't say this about interneurons to you in person though did he?

A PhD neuro/psychopharm has told me that the interneuron loss theory was complete conjecture and that he probably had to throw out a pathophysiological theory out there in order to get it registered as a diagnosis (as per the regulator's wishes)

But there was never any actual evidence for that theory, or the theory that HPPD may be due to loss of serotonin receptors on interneurons. It doesn't necessarily make sense that HPPD symptoms are due to some sort of loss of interneurons because people can remit rapidly with meds

Theories that such visual disturbances, along with tinnitus, are due to some sort of cortical hyperexcitability jive a lot better, and LTCs could have a lot to do with issues in cortical communication - so in that sense the HPPD symptoms and LTC could share common ground.
Click to expand...

No that's just what I read on the web, lol. I didn't know you need a biological reason to prove a disorder, interesting. Yeah there's some communication issues with both disorders.

Why would my floaters increase over like the first initial 6 months? They've stabilized now, but it's weird they would increase so slowly.
 
I'm not quite sure why the floaters would get worse, but sleep deprivation will certainly worsen visual disturbances so maybe you were running up a sleep debt over those 6 months?
 
Cotcha Yankinov said:
I'm not quite sure why the floaters would get worse, but sleep deprivation will certainly worsen visual disturbances so maybe you were running up a sleep debt over those 6 months?
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Yeah that's probably it....unless now the floaters are related to tension in my neck and back.

How do they test for TMJ? I have a dentist appointment coming up and I want to talk to them about the occasional jaw issues I've been having.
 
I've actually been emotionally blunted/numb for severeal years now, so much so that i've kinda gotten used to it.
I think my emotional numbness, anhedonia, apathy stems from smoking weed nearly everyday since i was 17.

I will say this though. I actually tried to quit weed once. I quit from July 2015 - January 2016. The first 3 months or so were pretty much unbearable with next to no improvements. During the 4th month however, I did laugh more frequently than I had done in the years prior. I also remember enjoying video games and socialising. In those 5 months i went from a point of thinking about suicide to being ok with life.

I often do wonder if I would go back to 'normal' if I quit forever.

I've spent many many hours researching about drug-related emotional numbness etc. There are many people that recover within a 2-3 year period. There are a few that don't recover.
 
I had the exact same feeling a lot of times. Here is my honest advice for anybody who has been overcome with this depressing, lifeless feeling...hear me out.
From little on I began weightlifting (I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator when I was 8 and I was amazed), later on getting more serious while following a more advanced workout regime and a diet fit for my personal goals. After several years I looked outstanding, I had the body I had dreamed of for so long.
In my late teens, 18-19, I started indulging in drug use, I began to live for the high. The use began to get heavier...meth, molly, coke, benzo's, and an abundant amount of alcohol every weekend and some week days...anything I could get my hands on. I just wanted to feel happy, ya know?
Long story short I probably only went to the gym 5 times that year and my diet was severely inadequate. I literally watched about half of my muscle mass disappear in that year. I soon came to the realization that I consistently felt like a POS. Not necessarily depressed all the time, but a 'nothing to live for' kind of feeling from the excessive use.
My point is you can do something about it, whether you think so or not...I did. I can't stress enough how important exercising and a nutritious diet regime are. It's honestly a better high than any inebriant on the market. Having a strong, built, and healthy body is an absolute key for happiness in my opinion.
Do I still use those drugs from time to time? Absolutely...it's all about your WILLPOWER. Since I have been back to the gym and dieting again for a years time now I have forged great confidence, health, and a much more peaceful state of mind while still having some fun here and there. People may disagree with me on this one but I firmly believe you can take some molly on a weekend or smoke some crystal here and there or pop a few xanny's every once in a great while to have some fun while maintaining a good body in and out of the gym. I'm all about having the best experience in this life but responsibility and moderation are key in the end...again, moderation.
There's a lot of people in this world who feel hopeless, lifeless. So trust me...start slow, go to the gym. It's not going to be easy but you will learn to love it. Make results your addiction. If you stick with it I guarantee it won't take long until you have a great deal of natural euphoria and a positive life...plus who doesn't want a nice, health body?
-good luck and big love
 
^Going to the gym and keeping ones body in shape (that includes stretching and a good diet) as a fabulous idea.. critical I would say for some people.
 
Yah for me personally, I never tried other drugs to help combat the bad comedown symptoms, it will pass. I did try new activities to meet new people and exercise, perhaps it got mind off "oh shit, I forked my brain up". I don't think there was long term damage, just temporary paranoia, regret. I think I'm back to same person before ltc. Keep your mind off it and just fight to live as before.
 
Hi Ihatenotfeeling,

I went through my LTC in 2014. I had severe symptoms of all kinds including the total emotional numbness you feel - I think it is more technically called depersonalization and/or derealization. The most important thing to remember is you WILL recover. The second most important thing to remember is it will take TIME! There are phases to the recovery including the first few months when the symptoms are very acute, but gradually you will get better. It took me a year to get to 95%-ish and then another couple of months to where I forgot all about it.

My recovery advice is 1) Get a prescription for Xanax especially for the acute phase. I could barely leave my bedroom without it for months. Valium is often less effective IMO, but better than nothing.
2) Avoid all alcohol, drugs, caffeine for at least a year and/or you really start feeling normal. Maybe forever if it is possible for you.
3) The standard exercise, diet deal with emphasis on cardio workouts. I could only do like 5-10 minutes at first, but it is better than nothing.

FYI, I've done MDMA 4x in my life! What triggers a LTC is anyone's guess? I obsessed that I had permanent brain damage and this site got me through. BTW, nobody in those threads/discussions are on here anymore!?! Why? Bc everybody recovered eventually!!! You will too!
 
8 Month update.. I'm feeling a lot better emotionally.. I have started dating someone and got a puppy. I can actually enjoy things again and I actually don't want to sleep 24/7. I'm back to watching my favorite tv shows and going on walks and dates with my boyfriend. I still think about my past relationship a little and how we ruined it with Molly and I definitely still get sad and think about him and my two dogs a lot.. but it's getting better. The joint popping is only getting worse and I'd say I'll have some serious issues with that in the next couple years. I'm just glad to not be in that state of pure and utter panic like month 1-5. I actually want to live now. ?? Things will get better for whoever is reading this.. just hang in there. -OP ? I'm back to smoking weed daily and enjoying it also.
 
Ihatenotfeeling said:
8 Month update.. I'm feeling a lot better emotionally.. I have started dating someone and got a puppy. I can actually enjoy things again and I actually don't want to sleep 24/7. I'm back to watching my favorite tv shows and going on walks and dates with my boyfriend. I still think about my past relationship a little and how we ruined it with Molly and I definitely still get sad and think about him and my two dogs a lot.. but it's getting better. The joint popping is only getting worse and I'd say I'll have some serious issues with that in the next couple years. I'm just glad to not be in that state of pure and utter panic like month 1-5. I actually want to live now. ?? Things will get better for whoever is reading this.. just hang in there. -OP ? I'm back to smoking weed daily and enjoying it also.
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Do have tinnitus (ear ringing) by any chance? When you lady down in bed before falling asleep, can you hear noises? Humming, static, buzzing, or a single tone or something?
That's my symptom right now.
 
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