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Mdma recovery! Please help.. anyone with similar experience ? Please! This is hell

And after the 4th day the afterglow lasted about 4 days then boom the comedown hit and I couldn't move off my couch without puking for like a week. I would wake up in fear and wanting to die then pass back out over and over again.. couldn't keep anything down either.. then that's how I got super dehydrated also.. which I think is what caused my joint issues.
 
I knew my brain and been burnt. It's a sensation no person should experience.The people who are in my state after years all described the burning brain sensation. somedud, bben, thizzin since 98.

The head symptoms appear to be due to issues with the cranial nerves, as are "brain zaps" which are known to be a phenomenon of the cranial nerves - I just wanted to make sure that this feeling isn't interpreted as being due to "brain cells frying" type stuff when we actually have no sensation of the brain.
 
I think it could also be a positive sign that you had 4 days of feeling ok before it hit.

That joint thing should be easier to diagnose than what's going on in your brain.

Regardless I think this will be a horrible summer/fall for us. Do you think you can hang on until Christmas? Next summer?

Those are my targets when I hope there's some change. I'm skeptical of psych meds after what I went through previously so I'm going to try without at least for now.
 
Well Im still so so sorry your still going through this.. maybee you will still recover.. it might just take a few more years or something.
This is kinda @Nambo but others may find it helpful -

Having a certain kind of attitude/mindset and personality definitely doesn't help some people, there can often times be resentment and regret that ends up holding people back in the long run because those personalities don't jive very well with mindfulness.

It can be critical for some people to work through that and let go of the past, but if resentment and regret is part of someone's personality it can take some time for that to change (and the older someone is, the harder it is for them to change, although it's certainly not impossible).

I personally only really started to see improvement after about 4 years when I started to get the hang of mindfulness and started learning to let go.

Point is, recovery can happen all over the place for many. I had no idea I was going to finally start improving 4 years in after I finally made some real changes to myself and realized what I was doing wrong all along. For years I thought I was going to sleep 1-2 hours a night until I died of sleep deprivation. But that type of thinking is part of what holds some of us back from recovering.

Although some people do recover without doing much but giving it time and working out et cetera, which certainly seems to be the case with meth abuse anhedonia type cases.
 
I went to an orthopedic and they said they had no clue why they were popping.. probably going to go to a rheumatologist next. I'm going to try and hang on as long as I can.. I'm too afraid to commit suicide. :/ February will be a year for me. Cotcha do you think age plays a role in the recovery ? Your brain is still developing until age 25 right ?
 
Im not cotcha but I tried Stablon and its honestly different for everyone. Some people rave about it and how it acts so quickly within a week etc etc

And then theres others like me who just get sides like dry mouth and feeling "off", which went away after stopping. I only tried it for a week and couldnt handle the off feeling even if it improved mood a bit.

Everyones neurochemistry is different
 
I went to an orthopedic and they said they had no clue why they were popping.. probably going to go to a rheumatologist next. I'm going to try and hang on as long as I can.. I'm too afraid to commit suicide. :/ February will be a year for me. Cotcha do you think age plays a role in the recovery ? Your brain is still developing until age 25 right ?

I would get yourself into physical therapy and start thinking along those lines so you can fix your musculoskeletal system, I should've done that right off the bat myself when I got messed up at 15. I wouldn't worry about osteoarthritis and crap, but do try to keep stretching and strengthening. It takes time.

For what it's worth I've had a shitton of joint popping for years now because I have a joint hypermobility thing, but I wouldn't let the popping get to you.

I do think age and also personality play a role in recovery. Younger brains are more malleable and can change easier.

I'd be much more confident about a 20 year old making a fabulous recovery than a resentful, westernized and over-analytical old person - but anything that enhances the brains ability to remodel (young age, a certain personality/mindset, medications, cardio, mindfulness) is helpful.

Re: stablon, take a pass, its kind of a messy drug.
 
I haven't been doing much cardio but on Friday and Saturday I stay at a friends house and do a 4-7 mile hike each day. Then during the week I usually just go on a two mile walk and do some basic excercises and stretches. I really just keep thinking I have oa though.. I've even got some grinding noises coming from my chest when I rotate my arms. And the noise coming from my knee is like a snapping sound.. not really popping. My wrist also pop and hurt when I rotate them. It's very scary.
 
Trust me I don't think you have OA, joints and tendons can pop and snap like crazy for lots of reasons that aren't joint degeneration. I've had the noisiest body for years now and my joints are still all good arthritis wise.

The shoulder joint/arm is really complicated, there can be dysfunction and popping for any number of reasons.

And rib cage popping is really common with anxiety breathing because it uses the ribcage's joints, this is actually a common one to get freaked out about (people usually think their lungs are popping) but it's no big deal. I've had chest popping for years now. Popping in the chest when you move your arms is definitely not something to freak about too, there are other causes for that, it's just indicative of musculoskeletal weirdness rather than joint degeneration.
 
Im not a doctor and im really not sure how much this applies to women but I do know that in men, low Estradiol can lead to joint issues (for example when steroid users take too much arimidex) and in men E2 is derived from Testosterone.

My T levels were impacted by the LTC and my estradiol is only slightly lowish so i don't have those issues.

But something to check may be HPA/HPG axis hormones and thyroid if they havent already been checked. Idk how it works in girls though id imagine if it was an issue you would have some disturbances in periods etc and sex drive too.

Idk really its all complicated the whole endocrine system even more complex evaluating that in women. But just throwing it out there.

A doc would know more.

Hormone imbalances can also cause/be caused by depression/anxiety/stress
 
The cracking in my knee is when I straighten it out or when I'm walking... it happens like 3 times every minute. My arms and elbows pop when I rotate them and throughout the day.. I can't believe I fucked my mind and my body up. I read that the fluid in your joints get sucked out when your dehydrated. Then it dries out your cartilage and I was severely dehydrated for a week after and worked out while dehydrated is why I think I have oa now... it makes sense I think anyways. It would cause the cartilage to wear down while I was dehydrated.
 
I wouldn't think it's a synovial fluid problem, the kneecap especially can snap and pop as you bend your knee and walk without any synovial fluid issues if you have a tight quad

Elbows and wrists can also be pretty poppy as well when the muscles are tight

MDMA is known to cause quit a lot of muscle tension, the jaw clenching aside the whole body can be affected
 
Not a synovial problem now.. it comes back.. I know that.. but I'm just afraid in that week I damaged the cartilage and wore it down a lot. You think it's just tight muscles though? It's in my hips and everything. My right knee snaps really loud.. (like you can hear it across the room loud) but my left one just pops occasionally.
 
Snapping tendons are a pretty common symptom of tight muscles. See for example a snapping hip flexor tendon, which there are actually surgeries for heh.

It's common for people to be uneven on different sides of the body (right leg tighter because of it often being the dominant side/used in driving and working the pedals), whereas if it was a dehydrating effect that caused it we should expect both sides to be evenly popping/snapping

But yeah popping and tendon snapping aren't much cause for concern in and of themselves, they are however a symptom of a much larger problem (muscle tightness and restriction - the restriction is what causes the popping and snapping tendons).

Try to keep stretching, for starters stuff like quad stretching and the splits/butterfly stretch. Especially if someone jogs/walks a lot those muscles can get tight, and they also happen to be some of the muscles that we kick in under stress.

Another way to think of the way we kick in muscles under stress is elevating the shoulder blades to protect the neck - different people end up using different muscles protectively (so called "guarding") in different ways, and then when those muscles get shortened and tight we gotta stretch them back out again so the skeleton can flow
 
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