• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Recovery I can't go on, I'll go on

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Lol! Dead crow god. Again wow Sim. Intense. It seems to be helping no? You are in my prayers.

Neurontin was a godsend for me. I lived my life w crippling anxiety and panic attacks. And life had this constant dark cloak of dread over it. I was unable to ever enjoy any experience. Neurontin turned down the volume so to speak.

I still feel the above things-but Im able to function.

In some cases medication can change someones life. If not for Neurontin- I wouldve been back to being a raging opiate/heroin addict w no desire to stop. Absolutely no doubt. Living was unbearable without something to take the edge off- every single day.

I do understand Sim. Hope everyone is in a good place today xoxo
 
Thanks, 10years. I do feel like the therapy is having a positive effect. It's a little hard to tell, underneath all the fatigue and fog from so many back-to-back infusions. But tomorrow is my last session (for this round), so hopefully after a few days I'll have a clearer sense of what's up.
 
Sim I've been following these posts with interest. I found two physicians, one in Orlando and one in Tampa, that does this therapy. The one in Orlando is strictly out of pocket, the one in Tampa will bill insurance for the office visit but not for the treatment. IV ketamine is still a pretty steep $500 per visit, an injection about half that.

10 - I've been on Neurontin for years. It makes me a bit dizzy so I take my 900mg dose all at the same time before bed and when I'm not going thru wds, that and the 15mg Remeron usually puts me out pretty quickly. I really don't like taking benzos to sleep. I've already been detoxed off them multiple times and each time it's been long, protracted and hellish and even though I have a legit script for Ativan the fear of going through benzo wds again keeps me from wanting to take it even though sometimes anxiety gets the better of me and I really can't help myself.
 
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Yes, the cost of ketamine therapy is steep. I think the only way it makes sense is if you're a person who will be spending a lot of money on your mental health anyway and the ketamine can offset some costs you'd spend otherwise.

In my case, I've reached a point where talk therapy has stopped offering me much help. I decided to do the ketamine treatment after interviewing several therapists in my new town (all of whom I'd have to pay out of pocket) and realizing I just didn't feel like therapy was going to be helpful now. I decided I needed to try something different. And compared to intensive talk therapy, a round of ketamine sessions is relatively affordable. But I definitely lack the funds to do both, so it's a bit of a gamble.
 
Thought I'd also mention that it's been a little over a week now since I stopped using kratom and threw all of my kratom away. Stopping hasn't been bad at all. Being preoccupied by all the ketamine work made it easier, I think.

In fairness, my use of kratom was very light. I was doing it daily. But only for about 2 months, and only a few tsp per day.

Hopefully I won't feel compelled to seek it out again.
 
Sim I'm looking forward to your recap on the ketamine therapy. Damn this thread is amazing. From the very first time I read it when I came back to BL after I started chipping-its even more amazing. So glad you started it Sim. Thankyou.

aihfl - weird how meds affect us differently. Believe me if Neurontin didnt help me, I'd be hitting benzos and be back all-in w h. I do hope you're having a peaceful day.
 
Sim I'm looking forward to your recap on the ketamine therapy. Damn this thread is amazing. From the very first time I read it when I came back to BL after I started chipping-its even more amazing. So glad you started it Sim. Thankyou.

aihfl - weird how meds affect us differently. Believe me if Neurontin didnt help me, I'd be hitting benzos and be back all-in w h. I do hope you're having a peaceful day.

And it's funny, I was on neurontin way back in the day for depression (it's a rare but not unheard of use for it). I gobbled the stuff like candy and never noticed that it affected me at all. In fact, on my first date with my wife I had to take my nth dose of neurontin that day, so I pulled out my pill bottle which she then saw...the thing was the size of a tennis ball can, but in the usual Rx orange plastic. She later told me she nearly walked right out the door. ;)
 
Ha Jesus Christ...I would probably be thinking exactly what your wife was if a girl pulled out a pill bottle that could barely fit in her purse and started popping them on a first date. This person must have problems beyond my comprehension...
Didn't know you were using Kratom. I bought an ounce of it when I was going through WD and packed it into capsules, could get exactly a half gram in a capsule and took about 6g and noticed nothing from it and haven't bothered with it since. Still have it laying around somewhere...
 
Ha Jesus Christ...I would probably be thinking exactly what your wife was if a girl pulled out a pill bottle that could barely fit in her purse and started popping them on a first date. This person must have problems beyond my comprehension...
Didn't know you were using Kratom. I bought an ounce of it when I was going through WD and packed it into capsules, could get exactly a half gram in a capsule and took about 6g and noticed nothing from it and haven't bothered with it since. Still have it laying around somewhere...

Prolly for the best that it didn't float your boat. In my case, I monkeyed with it a bit last year and had exactly your experience. Then, about two months ago I decided to give it another whirl, and this time I found something I liked. It was never a major deal. But I definitely felt a compulsion to keep using it, which I absolutely didn't want to get involved in.
 
And it's funny, I was on neurontin way back in the day for depression (it's a rare but not unheard of use for it). I gobbled the stuff like candy and never noticed that it affected me at all. In fact, on my first date with my wife I had to take my nth dose of neurontin that day, so I pulled out my pill bottle which she then saw...the thing was the size of a tennis ball can, but in the usual Rx orange plastic. She later told me she nearly walked right out the door. ;)

On a first date I always request to use the bathroom to do a med check so I know exactly what kinda crazy I'm dealing with;)...lol
 
I just realized that yesterday was my 11-month sobriety date. Hard to believe how much things have changed in that time.
 
That is awesome Simco! Congratulations!! I hope you celebrate with a delicious dinner shared with you wonderful wife!
 
Wow Sim!!!! Congratulations <3. I am so proud of you. You've done amazing. You are truly an inspiration. <3 <3 <3
 
That’s awesome dude. Congratulations. Seemed like time went by fast when I was on dope and I assumed it was just because I was using opiates everyday, but now that I’m not time still goes by just as fast.
 
Thanks, guys! <3

Celebrated by taking a long hike in the mountains with my wife. It was gorgeous...high altitude so the temperature was cool and the aspen forest is changing color.
 
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