Today was my first day back to work after jumping off on 1/1. I ended up working 12 hrs, but it was a nice distraction. And now my confidence is high again! I did not use opiates today and it was a good day. I'm also getting into intermittent fasting to reset my cells. I got used to only eating dinner everyday during the w/d so it's easy now. Intermittent fasting can provide many health benefits in addition to losing weight. I'm pre-diabetic so I really have to reset my biomarkers with this approach. So far I continue to lose weight despite being on 300 mg of Lyrica per day and medical marijuana at night. I'm also noticing I'm having hobbies and interests again, hmmm. I know I will have ups and downs along my journey, but this is good stuff.
- SweetLeaf7
This has been my experience, I don't know what 1/1 means though. In terms of the benefits, though. I do so much more now, simply put. lol. I went through various degrees of cold turkey withdrawal as I have been chronically relapsing.
I also relapsed again just recently so that makes for a double relapse. I still felt like shit going on 3 weeks and I was tired. I have withdrawal symptoms these days that are very mild in comparison to a full blown detox and I am able to function and go about my day if I keep myself distracted. I am becoming a workaholic, in a sense. My creativity is flourishing.
I don't feel as bad this time but then again I didn't feel as bad last time either. But then again, over the holidays my life circumstances changed a lot. There is more going on here than just the drugs of course so I think that after the holidays I was naturally depressed for a bit and that led me to my last... I don't know what it was this time. It could have bee 2 days or 5. The time flew by, I remember my family stopping by and my dad yelling at me that I was so fuckin high on some fucking drug right now so I don't really know what is going on with them. I seem to have to have caught a break, since I had the excuse of having worked overnights for weeks but concerned the fuck out of them.
Keep relapsing but that was my last script unless I go to more drastic measures than a phone call. It's normally impulsive and I don't typically have cravings. On occasion I will find myself with a line of H on my mind, that's it. It is more the bite me in my sleep part.
It's weird though I find that I want to use less after this relapse. It reinstated hope that I had lost from the start of my last detox. I didn't have a good attitude. I have a better attitude about it now, essentially because there is more support. I'm not really dealing with withdrawal symptoms I can't handle at this point - I certainly don't need to taper, but it is by no means comfortable. My hardcore detox was back in the summer and since then it has been a week or two here or there, or a few days or even one use to throw me off balance. I had still been enough to fuck up my life, I'm improving in ways that are clear to me but I still need to quit for good.
Easier said than done when you've had a habit for a while. Taking a shower this morning was very uncomfortable. All of my senses are heightened. I spent the last 4 days almost entirely asleep, after using 2cc or 2cd daily for however long it has been. Couple months, though. Today is the first day I feel mentally normal after using all that extended release oxy again - it is the opposite of over the holidays. Back then it was all mental, I was totally drained but the physical part was bearable compared to this. Before that, I had a solid month symptom free. I didn't wake up sick, or anything like that, so I am finding this frustrating but I am finding this a lot of things. All I can do is try not to think about it for most of the time and focus on my health. I find that if you distract yourself and really initiate the effort to try and force you to go about your day even if your leg bones feel chained down with lead, that is the best thing to do because even if you feel like shit and do not enjoy yourself, you are going to recover faster and once you are recovered you are already going to be active.
This is the approach I can take now because my withdrawals are mild. Don't get me wrong, they are still extreme agony and very, very irritating. And they make me want a hit even more because I'm mentally capable enough to get it. I received a blessing though; I don't work this week. I really need to quit. And the girl who was away is home now. I didn't think she was interested in us anymore but she let me know last night in a subtle cute sorta way that she's been waiting for me to hit me up. Man, everything this girl says is spoken in some kinda riddle. It's silly.
This is something to be taken seriously though around day 5 - 6 last time my withdrawals got a lot worse. I'm focussing on nutrition this time, really paying attention, and today I am going for a stroll through the mall in the early afternoon (it's very cold out) and then tonight I am hitting up a yin yoga class. So, I am forcing myself to do stuff and if I don't start doing this
today, I'm going to find myself in a bad situation. I was slouched over nodding in that chair for so long... it was bad. Couldn't tell what time it was... time just passed... I noticed there were less and less pills and started coming to...
